by Kirk, Cindy
“He hit you?” Tripp’s voice shook with a fury that made the leaves on the nearby trees quiver.
Adrianna gave a jerky nod. “Thankfully, one of his roommates came home just then and I ran out the door.”
“Did he come after you?” Tripp’s hands tightened around her arms.
She gave a little squeak. “Tripp, you’re hurting me.”
“Oh, sorry.” He immediately loosened his hold and expelled a harsh breath. “That bastard should be—”
“Anyway.” Even though this was ancient history, the rapid pounding of Adrianna’s heart made it feel as though it had happened yesterday. She licked her dry lips. “I spent the night with a fellow nursing student. He called my cell thirty-two times. I didn’t answer. The next day he came to the physics department where I was working. He had a bouquet of flowers and was all apologetic and contrite.”
“I hope you told him what he could do with those flowers.”
“I—I was confused.” Adrianna closed her eyes and expelled a shuddering breath. “Remember, he was my life. Or so it seemed.”
“Oh, Adrianna.”
Her knees went weak at the caring in his voice. But her relief was tempered by the knowledge he still didn’t know the full story.
Adrianna drew a deep breath, determined to press through to the end. “Shortly after Matt arrived, I took a call for one of the professors. The young man—who I learned later was Matt’s friend—said it was crucial he speak with Dr. Douglass as soon as possible. He said he’d tried everything to reach him. I told the guy I could leave a message on the professor’s door so he’d see it the instant he got out of class and returned to the office. Matt said he’d wait. By the time I got back he was gone.”
“Good riddance,” Tripp muttered.
“I settled back to work and immediately noticed someone had messed with my computer,” she continued, ignoring his comment. “I worried Matt had gotten the test after all.”
“Wasn’t your PC password-protected?”
She nodded miserably. “He knew my password. We’d joked about the silly one I’d chosen months earlier. My suspicions were confirmed when a cheating scandal erupted.”
Her eyes grew hot. Without another word, Adrianna pulled herself from Tripp’s arms. She returned to the path that encircled the lake and began to walk. Adrianna had thought she’d made peace with that time in her life, but the surge of emotion fueling her steps told a different story. Angrily, she brushed unwanted moisture from her eyes.
“Adrianna.” In several long strides, Tripp reached her.
When she turned and he saw the tears, he pulled her to him and hugged her. “It’s okay, sweetheart. It’s all good.”
Adrianna’s heart lodged in her throat. Tripp hadn’t called her sweetheart since the night they’d informed everyone they were “a couple.” But that had been part of the charade. This felt real.
“Matt and several others were kicked out of school.” Adrianna sniffled and swiped at her eyes, determined to regain control. “Administration determined a group of students had gotten their hands on the test. They suspected it was through me, but couldn’t prove it. Still, I lost my job. Being fired was...humiliating. I saw the look of derision in the dean’s eyes, heard the disappointment in his voice.” She shuddered.
His gaze searched hers. “Did you tell them what you suspected?”
She shook her head. “I was afraid I’d get kicked out, too.”
“Why?”
“I’d given Matt my confidential password,” she reminded him. “I’d left him alone in the office, giving him the opportunity.”
“You couldn’t have known he’d do something like that—”
“Couldn’t I?” She breathed the last of her secrets, the one that had niggled at her for years. “Perhaps I secretly wanted to give him access. That way I could make him happy without being directly involved.”
“No.” Tripp’s response was swift and sure. “That’s not what happened.”
“How can you be so certain?”
“Because I know you.”
She shrugged.
“What were you feeling that morning?” Tripp asked. “When you saw...him?”
It was as if Tripp couldn’t even bring himself to say Matt’s name.
Adrianna thought for a moment. “Anger. Sadness.”
“Did the flowers soften you up?”
“A little,” she admitted, wanting to be completely honest. “I’d never gotten flowers before. He insisted he hadn’t meant to hurt me, that his hand had...slipped.”
“Slipped, my ass.” A muscle in Tripp’s jaw jumped. “Did any of it change your decision about helping him?”
“No,” she said firmly.
“Would you have left him alone in the office if you’d known what he had planned?”
Adrianna shook her head.
“There’s your answer, then,” he told her.
“Maybe deep down—”
“Adrianna, no. Don’t torment yourself over this. It was a long time ago and it’s over.” His lips curved up in a gentle smile. “Even if you had helped him, we all make mistakes. We learn from them and move on.”
“You don’t hate me?”
“I could never hate you.” He trailed a finger down her cheek, then kissed her lightly on the lips.
The truth will set you free.
The doubts that had dogged Adrianna for many years slipped away in a rush of emotion. She lifted her face, wishing Tripp would kiss her again. Instead he took her hand and they began to walk.
After a couple of minutes of silence, he slanted a sideways glance. “Was there anyone after college?”
You, she wanted to say. Instead she lifted a shoulder in a slight shrug. “Work has always kept me busy....”
She let her voice trail off. She’d dated, but no one who touched her heart. That was, until she’d contacted Tripp a couple of months after Gayle had died. It had been a courtesy text, to show support and see how he was holding up. To her surprise, slowly and a bit awkwardly, an online friendship had ensued.
They’d grown close, via texts sharing thoughts and feelings that would be impossible to say in person. She’d had high hopes when Tripp had moved back to Jackson Hole. But from the second he arrived, he’d taken a step back from her. That was, until he’d approached her with this one-month-relationship idea.
“Have you dated anyone seriously since Gayle died?” she found herself asking. Even though he’d shared a lot via text messages, she wasn’t foolish enough to assume he’d told her everything.
“Not really.” His eyes were focused on the distant mountain peaks rather than on her. “I probably should jump back into the dating pool, but right now I don’t have the time.”
“You have time to see me,” she pointed out.
“Yes,” he finally said. “But we’re not trying to build a relationship.”
His words were like a hard punch, a blunt reminder that no matter how close she felt to him, no matter how many times he called her “sweetheart,” he wasn’t envisioning a future with her.
Even though Adrianna had tried to guard her heart, she now conceded she’d failed miserably. Perhaps she should call off this fake relationship right now. The second the thought crossed her mind, she cast it aside.
How could she walk away from Tripp now? And why? Whether their “relationship” ended today or in several weeks, she’d still be devastated.
“Carpe diem,” she murmured.
When Tripp nodded, Adrianna realized with a start she must have spoken aloud.
“Seize the day.” He shot her a wink. “That’s exactly what we’ve been doing this past month.”
The last thing she wanted to do was to continue talking about the relationship-that-wasn’t, so Adrianna made a great show of taking in the serene alpine beauty surrounding them.
“I never would have gone hiking if you hadn’t asked.” She inhaled the fresh mountain air. “I’d have missed all this.”
Adrianna gestured with her free hand toward the endless blue of lake, somehow encompassing Tripp in the gesture. Her skin prickled beneath his intense stare.
When their eyes locked, she inhaled sharply at the connection. It was as if she’d been transported back to when she was fourteen.
Adrianna remembered the day. She’d been carrying branches to the street for the garbageman. Seventeen-year-old Tripp had arrived to pick up Gayle. When he’d seen her stumbling to the curb, her arms overflowing with brush, he’d hurried over to help.
As he’d taken the branches from her arms, their eyes had met. She still remembered the jolt of awareness. She’d stood there in the hot sun, frozen for a heartbeat, maybe two, staring into his eyes. Her well-ordered world had tilted on its axis. That was the day she’d fallen in love.
For a second she was certain he’d experienced the same jolt. But then, like now, he’d blinked, then grinned.
“There’s so much I want to show you,” he said as they resumed walking.
Okay, so maybe this dating charade could be a learning experience for both of them. She could broaden her horizons and he could...
Well, there was no way she was going to be happy about watching Tripp swim off after being the one to ease him back into the dating pool. Still, she didn’t have much choice. It was either seize the remaining days or walk away now.
For now, carpe diem would be her mantra.
Regrets, well, they could wait for another day.
Chapter Fifteen
By the time they walked around the entire lake and enjoyed a leisurely early dinner, Tripp decided this would be a good opportunity to lighten the mood by sharing his love of fishing with Adrianna.
Yet, when he told her he’d bought her a permit at the lodge and suggested they head over to Yellowstone Lake to see what they could catch, she looked at him as if he’d lost his mind.
That was when the excuses as to why it wouldn’t work had started. He had an answer for each of her concerns. This morning he’d tossed a couple of fishing poles in the back of the truck, they had their permits and he had extra sunscreen in his tackle box.
When she finally admitted she was afraid of worms, he stifled a smile and promised to bait her hook. Soon they were basking in the sunshine, waiting for a fish or two to take the bait. He was glad he’d included a couple of lawn chairs because he had the feeling Adrianna wasn’t quite ready to sit on a dusty bank.
The sun glimmered against the rich walnut strands of her hair. Her green eyes were covered with dark glasses and, because of the heat, she was down to shorts and a tiny T-shirt.
Even though she looked stunning, Tripp knew there was so much more to this woman than her beauty. She was intelligent and caring and she fit in well with his family. Earlier, when his eyes had locked with hers, he’d started rethinking what came next.
He could no longer deny that these past weeks had irrevocably changed things between them. To go back to simply being friends was impossible. But where to go from here was the burning question. Until he could sort things out, the intimacy they’d shared in that truck bed couldn’t happen again. Regardless of the depths of his feelings for her, physically he must keep his distance.
Holding hands. A kiss or two. That was as far as it could go. He needed to make sure she understood that it wasn’t that he didn’t want her; he just had some hard thinking to do and needed a clear head.
A hastily constructed speech formed on Tripp’s lips. He cleared his throat.
She lowered her glasses and peered at him, her eyes a vivid emerald-green.
“I have to touch you,” he heard himself say as he reached over and took her hand.
A smile played at the corners of her lips. “Like last night.”
Yes. No. It was time they speak about what had happened and what couldn’t happen again. Not just yet anyway. Instead of immediately jumping into the speech, Tripp stroked her palm with his thumb. “I took it too far.”
“You didn’t do anything I didn’t want you to do,” she assured him in a soft voice.
“When we first discussed our...arrangement—” Tripp paused then began again “—something was said about keeping physical intimacy to a minimum.”
Had he set that parameter? Or was that one of Adrianna’s stipulations? Did it even matter?
Adrianna pulled her hand from his and stretched, her cotton shirt pulling tight across her chest. “That’s the nice thing about verbal agreements.”
With great effort, Tripp forced his gaze from her breasts, his mouth dry. “It is? I mean, what is?”
“They can be easily modified.”
He swallowed. “Are you saying you want to modify our no-touching rule?”
She gave a throaty laugh that shot straight to his groin. “News flash. I think we already did.”
Tripp couldn’t stop himself from grinning.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve been intimate with a man,” Adrianna admitted, her cheeks pink from the sun. “Just as you’re using our time together to get you ready to date, perhaps I can use the opportunity to jump back into the, well, the sexual side of things.”
Tripp stilled. His smile vanished. Had she really just told him she would be using him for sex practice? His thoughts raced. Who would she be practicing for? A single name shot to the top of the list.
Winn Ferris.
He opened his mouth to tell her he didn’t feel that was at all appropriate. Then it hit him what she was proposing wasn’t really much different than his using her for dating practice.
Except that’s not what I’m doing.
“I’m sorry,” she said when the silence lengthened. “That didn’t quite come out the way I intended. What I meant to say is there’s no reason that our remaining time together can’t be mutually advantageous.”
Tripp knew most men would jump at this chance. He could practically guarantee that if she’d said these same words to Winn Ferris, he’d be on top of her by now.
But Tripp didn’t want Adrianna for a couple more weeks; he wanted her—
“You remember what we decided will happen once the month is over,” he heard her say.
“We’ll remain friends,” he said automatically, parroting their earlier agreement, “but go our separate ways.”
“That was the deal,” she said, an odd catch in her voice.
When Tripp lifted his gaze and stared into those beautiful emerald eyes, he realized he’d been a fool. Thirty days wasn’t enough time with this woman.
It was time to renegotiate.
* * *
Despite their talk over fishing poles, once the week started there wasn’t time for any sexual encounters with Tripp. Besides, Adrianna had just been jerking his chain about getting some experience. It had been a way of protecting her heart, of not wanting Tripp to see she’d fallen in love with him.
When he invited her to join him for dinner with his parents on Tuesday, she eagerly accepted. As always, the second she walked through the front door, a feeling of warmth and caring wrapped around Adrianna like a favorite sweater. She liked his father’s gentle teasing and the way his mother’s smile widened when she saw her. Lately, and for the first time since her parents had died, Adrianna felt part of a family.
Tripp’s sister, Hailey, greeted her warmly as well. Prior to becoming “involved” with Tripp, all Adrianna knew about his sister was she was a speech pathologist who’d worked in Denver before returning to Jackson Hole. Hailey had mentioned she was hoping to get a position with the hospital or the school system, but so far nothing had come through.
Yesterday, while his sister had been at the hospital for a follow-up interview, she and Adrianna had met for a quick lunch in the cafeteria.
“You should have seen how Adrianna’s eyes lit up when we ran into Tripp,” Hailey told her mother later when the men stepped outside for a second. “They had this cute little glow.”
Adrianna gave a nervous laugh. “My eyes don’t glow.”
“Yes, they do,”
Hailey teased. “Tripp’s eyes do the same thing when he sees you.”
“I think it’s sweet.” Kathy handed Adrianna a cup of coffee with cream and sugar already added, just as she liked. “A woman should be happy to see someone she cares about.”
It was obviously a case of people seeing what they wanted to see. At least Adrianna hoped she wasn’t wearing her heart in her eyes. How embarrassing would that be?
Thankfully, Tripp and his father returned and over a delicious meal of veal parmigiana, the talk shifted to his mother’s committee work and a change his father had recently instituted in his cattle-breeding program.
Throughout dinner, Adrianna caught Hailey and Kathy exchanging smiles whenever she looked in Tripp’s direction. Even though she enjoyed the conversation, she was relieved when the meal ended. Once the table had been cleared and the dishwasher filled, Tripp asked if she wanted to sit outside with him.
“What a beautiful evening,” Adrianna said, taking a seat on the wooden porch swing.
“You’re beautiful.” Tripp’s arm slipped around her shoulders. “Inside and out.”
“Thank you,” she said in a light tone, trying to make sense of his behavior. Since their trip to Yellowstone on Sunday, she’d felt an increased closeness between them that she couldn’t explain.
It was as if the wall that had loomed so large between them was crumbling. The way Tripp looked at her was now different. Perhaps his mother and sister had been right about the “glow.”
“I like you, Adrianna,” he said unexpectedly.
There had been no qualifier at the end. No I like you...as a friend. And the look in his eyes, well, it wasn’t the kind you’d expect from a man who thought of you only as a buddy.
“I like you, too,” she stammered.
Without warning she was in his arms and his warm, sweet lips were on hers. The kisses quickly grew more urgent. He was practically on top of her in the swing when the front screen door flew open.