by Cari Z
“You are, and much more than that.”
Evan rolled over, and Lee let him, giving him the space to turn but not losing contact with his embrace. They ended up lying next to each other, their faces six inches apart. Lee looked like he’d always looked, like a man—a slightly ruffled, sleepy man with tangled blond hair and sloe eyes filled with emotion. “Ask,” he said. “I’ll tell you anything.”
Evan barely knew where to start. “How can you be both a dragon and a man? I’ve never heard of something like this before.”
“Few people have. It’s a rare skill among my kind, as rare as a psychic being born to humans. I’ve always been able to change my shape to suit the form of my beloved, and take a form between the two as well. You saw it when I rescued you from the tunnel.” Evan remembered Lee’s armor and helmet, his immense strength and coppery eyes. “Valorie wasn’t just my rider, wasn’t just my life partner, she was my wife. My mate. Jason was the welcome but unexpected result of our union.”
It was a good thing that Evan was lying down, because his head was spinning. He stared at Lee for a long moment, trying to wrap his mind around a dragon who didn’t just love their rider, but desired them. It seemed impossible, but then what he’d seen Lee do when he’d saved Evan’s life should have been impossible as well. “Is Jason a dragon too?”
“Jason is unprecedented. He might be able to shift, once he gets older. He might not. Either way, he is of both our worlds.”
Evan remembered something else. “You told me Valorie’s dragon’s name was Ladon.”
Lee nodded. “It is. This body is Lee, that one is Ladon, but both are me.”
Evan nodded and gave himself another minute or so to get over feeling stunned, then continued. “How did you find me?”
“I felt you.”
“Felt me . . .”
“Like any dragon would feel for their rider. I knew where you were, I sensed your peril. You almost died.” He sounded pained. “I wanted to ease you into this better, but I couldn’t wait any longer. You needed me.”
There was no denying that. Evan knew he was only alive because of Lee’s timely arrival. In fact . . . He looked at his bandaged hands, flexed them a little. They felt surprisingly whole, if very stiff. “You fixed me?”
“Only time will manage that, but I took the pain away.”
“How?”
Lee smiled. “Pain is something you feel, an emotion as much as a physical sensation. I’m just keeping the emotional side of things out of reach. You still shouldn’t use them for a while, even though they don’t feel bad.”
Evan wanted to believe all this, wanted to believe everything, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to. “But my empathy doesn’t work. I didn’t feel you back.”
“But you had the dreams.” Lee’s smile got wider. “You dreamed about Chicago, something I’d never told you. I’d hoped, up to that point, but that was when I knew for sure.”
“Why didn’t you tell me then?”
Lee stroked a hand down Evan’s arm. “Because you were scared. You were traumatized by what happened to Juree, and you’d closed yourself off from connecting to another dragon. You bonded with me in my human form, not my dragon form, and I didn’t know how to bridge the gap without making you uneasy.” His smile faded away entirely. “Instead I made it worse, because you thought I was lying to you. I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t take the risk you’d close yourself off completely to me. I knew from the moment I saw you that you were the only person in all of Forge I could ever bond with, and without you, Jason and I would have to leave. I couldn’t reveal myself to the whole city if I couldn’t stay and fight for them. It’s why I had to leave Chicago after Valorie died—mature dragons can’t function for long without a partner, and no one else there suited me. No one even came close before you.”
Evan almost couldn’t believe it. It didn’t feel real. How could Lee’s words possibly be for him? He didn’t think he deserved that kind of devotion, but from the look on Lee’s face, that didn’t matter. He had it regardless.
“I had to do something to keep Townsend satisfied while I waited for you to accept me, though. It’s been hard enough finding the opportunity to sneak away from the city and update your maps, or to haul larger metal scraps in close enough for the scavs to find them.”
A memory spun through Evan’s mind. “That’s what you and Townsend were fighting about. He didn’t want you to pick me.”
Lee bared his teeth. “He doesn’t get a choice, and that was overly hard for that man to accept. But I’m sorry I didn’t do a better job of explaining the situation to you. The last thing in the world I want is to abuse your faith in me.”
Evan managed to produce a wobbly smile. “You’ve done a pretty good job making it up to me.”
“Let me do more.”
“I don’t think it gets much bigger than saving my life and Forge all at once.”
Lee shook his head. “No, not like that. Let me do more in little ways. Let me bring you into my home to stay, let me welcome you into every corner of my life. Let me make you my family, mine and Jason’s. He loves you, and so do I.”
Evan wasn’t quite sure how to take what he was hearing. Part of him, most of him, wanted to jump up and say “Yes!” before Lee could think better of it, but he had to be honest. “You don’t— You should know. That I love you, but it isn’t—” he choked out the next part “—it isn’t just a family kind of love. I want you.”
There, he’d said it, confessed, and now Lee would let him down gently, tell him they just couldn’t share that sort of intimacy, that Valorie had been the exception and dragons and riders were loving partners for life, but not like that. It was fine; what he was talking about would be enough.
“Evan.” Before he knew it, he was tipped over onto his back, Lee framing Evan’s body with his long arms and looking down at him like he was starving for the sight of him, like he was a rising wind that could carry them both away. “You’re everything to me. Lover and beloved, family and friend. You’re my rider, and my mate. I’ll never leave you, not unless death comes for one of us, and I would have you in my bed every night if you want that too.”
He lowered himself onto Evan more fully, settling between his legs. God, he was so warm, almost hot, and it felt so good Evan moaned.
“I want to be inside of you,” Lee murmured, tracing his lips along Evan’s jaw, up to his ear and down his neck. “I want to claim you as my mate in every way possible. But these rooms don’t have what we need, and you’re still exhausted.”
Evan clenched his jaw against the urge to yell with frustration. Lee was right, but that didn’t take away his desire. “What, then?”
“Like this,” Lee said, and he pressed his groin tight to Evan’s, rocking their erections together through the thin cloth of their shorts. Evan gasped and arched up, and the pressure felt so good that his eyes rolled back in his head. It wasn’t the kind of fucking Evan craved, but it was evidence of Lee’s arousal, his desire, and his acceptance of Evan’s.
Lee thrust against him in a hard rhythm, one hand on Evan’s shoulder and the other holding his hip, holding him where Lee wanted him so they could both get off. It was good, so good, and he felt his pleasure build like he was feeding a fire, slow and steady before it caught all at once and sent him up in flames.
Lee was more than just movement, though, more than a physical presence. He was inside Evan’s heart, and Evan was in his and could feel Lee’s own desire, his desperation and tenderness and love. He felt it all so clearly, more than with Juree, more than with anyone else.
Lee had promised Evan forever, and Evan didn’t just have to take him at his word. He felt it deep down in his bones, and it was like being set free. No more fears, no more worries, just him and Lee together.
Evan came, his orgasm rolling in on the heels of so much happiness he thought he could die right now with no regrets.
Lee took his head in both hands and devoured Evan’s mouth in a kiss, grinding against him
until he was spent as well. The tension left him as slow as honey dripping down a spoon, and soon he was slack on top of Evan, boneless and content. Evan wanted to stroke his hair, but he settled for kissing him again instead.
“You’re mine,” he said, and he knew he still sounded a little incredulous, but Lee just chuckled.
“Yes.”
“And you want to stay here in Forge.”
“As long as you do. Jason likes it, and I think they could use our skills.”
Evan nodded. “Yours, certainly.”
“Yours too, once I make the governor see reason. Forge’s defenses will be so much better if they let you take over training their archers.” Lee lifted his head and looked Evan in the eye. “You’ve been making do for too long, scraping by without affection or respect. All of that will change now. You’re not a broken man, you’re not a dragonless rider. You’re mine, and you will be treated like the treasure you are.”
Lee’s eyes had gone coppery again, intense and otherworldly and beautiful. Evan smiled. “I’ll do my best.”
“You already do. And they’ll see that as well.”
Chapter Nine
One Year Later
Thwap. The last arrow in the quiver struck home in the center of the target fifty feet away. Jason threw both his hands up in the air in triumph, almost dropping his bow in the process. “Yes! All ten in the inner ring! I told you I was ready to move the target back.” He looked eagerly up at Evan. “Can we go move the target back?”
“After everyone else is done shooting,” Evan said, and Jason grinned. “Check your equipment over, I’ll be back in a moment.” After getting Jason’s nod, Evan moved down the line to where most of the rest of his students were still firing with varying degrees of success. At the very end of the line, a young man swore as his arrow just missed the side of the hay bale.
“Don’t let a miss distract you,” Evan said as he moved in beside Ollie, who grimaced at him. He had come a long way since his first time on the wall last winter, but he still tended to shoot too fast when he got nervous. “Almost anything is recoverable.”
“Unless it’s my last arrow and the crix are coming too fast to dodge.”
Evan lifted an eyebrow. “That’s why you carry a knife. One weapon is good, two weapons is better, three is just smart.”
“For us, maybe,” Ollie agreed. “But you’re a rider. Doesn’t it make more sense for you to carry a ton of arrows and your bow and nothing else? I mean, you’ve got a dragon to handle the hand-to-hand stuff.”
“Dragons can be injured.” Although there hadn’t been any more fatalities since Lyra’s death. “If they go down, it’s better not to risk being caught unprepared. Besides.” He shrugged. “I’m used to it by now.”
The range master blew his whistle, and a moment later Evan’s students headed down to retrieve their arrows. Jason had one of the best clusters, and considering he was the youngest person in class, that was saying something. Evan would have to start teaching him to make his own arrows soon—that class was small but growing, and—
Forge’s siren cut through the cold blue sky. Monsters were coming, which meant battle was imminent. He caught Ollie by the forearm. “Get everything cleared down here and make sure the younger ones get back to their families.”
Ollie nodded. “I will.”
Evan turned away and jogged toward the end of the range, pausing next to Jason, who looked serious but not too worried. “Go home, okay? We’ll meet you there once this fight is done.”
Jason seemed like he wanted to argue, but he was too well-trained at this point to give into the urge. “Okay. Tell Dad to be safe. Tell him to watch out for you.”
“I will.” One quick hug later, Evan headed for the top of the nearest section of wall. Other riders had to meet their dragons in the stadium, but Evan wasn’t just any rider, and Lee sure as hell wasn’t any other dragon. Lee had known where he was and what he was doing—he would meet him there.
Sure enough, Evan walked out of the staircase into the open air and found Lee on the wall, staring out into the distance. It had snowed just yesterday, and the wind blew the icy particles around like miniature tornadoes, obscuring the view. Evan stopped next to him, and without looking Lee reached out and took his hand. Evan suppressed a smile. “What do you see?”
“A behemoth of a beast,” Lee replied. “It’s still a mile out, so the details aren’t clear yet. But see the sky above it.” He pointed at the distant sky. “Wyverns. Small carrion feeders. They’re pacing it. Clearly they expect to get a meal out of whatever remains it leaves behind.”
“Any crix?”
“Not enough to be of note.” Lee had lost his temper and flamed their nest until the concrete practically turned to glass a few months ago after Evan had sustained a minor injury from one. Their population hadn’t recovered. As far as Evan was concerned, if it never did, it would still be too soon.
“And harpies?”
“They might defend what they see as their airspace from the wyverns, actually, but we shouldn’t rely on that.” Lee glanced at Evan and squeezed his hand. “We’ll need to play a role in this one.”
“I know.” That was fine. Lee had already brought along Evan’s equipment. It was leaning against the wall at their feet.
“It isn’t exactly how I meant for us to spend our anniversary.”
Evan laughed. “You mean the anniversary of the date where I almost died trying to blow up a monster and you had to save my ass? I think this is kind of the perfect way to celebrate it.”
“Nevertheless.” Lee turned to face him, his hands coming up to cup Evan’s cheeks. Evan was used to the casual displays of affection by now, and didn’t blush as other people along the wall started to stare and murmur. “When this is done, we’ll get back to doing what I hoped we’d be doing once you finished archery class.”
“Mmm.” Evan leaned in and brushed Lee’s mouth in a kiss. “I hope it involves the two of us in bed and Jason spending the evening with Charlie.”
“Another fitting commemoration of our anniversary,” Lee agreed, returning Evan’s kiss before he turned away. His eyes slowly brightened, becoming a familiar copper. Evan slung his quiver across his back and strung his bow as he watched his lover transform. One second Lee was a man—the next, Ladon had flown from the wall before his weight could damage it, all strength and grace as he banked in a circle.
Evan grinned and stepped up onto the wall. A second later, he jumped out into thin air.
He was caught, of course. He would always be caught, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.
Cari Z was a bookworm as a child and remains one to this day. In an effort to combat her antisocial reading behavior, she did all sorts of crazy things, from competitive gymnastics to alligator wresting (who even knew that was legal!) to finally joining the Peace Corps, which promptly sent her and her husband to the wilds of West Africa, stuck them in a house, and said, “See ya!” She also started writing then, because it was a good way to entertain herself with no electricity. She writes award-winning LGBTQ fiction featuring aliens, supervillains, soothsayers, and even normal people sometimes.
You can contact Cari at [email protected]. In fact, please do.
She’d love to hear from you.
Website: cari-z.net
Blog: carizfiction.blogspot.com
Twitter: @author_cariz