“Did you love him?”
“Yes. But not in the way I should have. In my day, we did what we were supposed to. So even though I knew I liked women, that wasn’t even an option here. I did what I was supposed to do—I found a good man and married him because I wanted to have a family. It tore my heart out leaving you and your sister.”
“Why didn’t you take us with you? You could have taken us with you!”
“Three of us in a two-room apartment for the first three years in New York? You would have hated it. I know you. You were the kid who took off on her horse to places where we couldn’t find you. When the mare we had was pregnant, you slept in the barn because you said if she needed you, you wanted to be there.”
Julia smiled tenderly at the thought. “I loved that horse.”
“You’ve loved every horse. You loved cooking with your grandmother, riding up the mountain before school. I did what I knew was best for you and I tried to keep us together.”
“But you hardly ever visited.”
“In those early years before I made my own way, I couldn’t afford to visit more often. Then, once I could afford it, I couldn’t get the time off from work. I came here every chance I could. I was working overtime, sending money to your grandmother for you and Vitty. Then, by the time I could come more often, you were so mad at me that coming here only upset you—set you back. Your grandmother told me how your grades would suffer and your attitude. Even your sleep. She had asked me not to come more than a few times.”
“So you left because you were gay?”
“Yes. Why do you say it like that?”
“Damn, I thought you had left because I was gay.”
“Forgive me, but I have to do this.” Maria wrapped her arms around Julia and pulled her close. She held her so tightly that Julia couldn’t get a full breath.
It took Julia a few seconds to respond, but once she hugged her mother back, her eyes filled with tears and buried emotions ambushed her body. She pulled away. “I’m sorry, Mom, but I’m not ready for this.” With hurried steps, Julia reentered the restaurant and headed straight into the ladies’ room. She wiped her forehead with a cool damp towel and leaned on the sink, feeling lightheaded. She sat on the love seat by the vanity and mirror and looked into her eyes. “How, after all these years, can I still be so overwhelmed by this?”
Julia looked up when the door opened.
“I thought I’d find you here,” said Vitty.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Yes, you do.”
“Okay, you’re right, I do want to talk about it. I just don’t know what the fuck to say. Did you know—that Mother is gay? That that’s why she left here?”
Vitty nodded. “I did. But I didn’t find out until this past year.”
“Why didn’t you say anything to me?”
Vitty sat beside her and held her hand. “Because you have always shut down every conversation I’ve tried to initiate. At the mere mention of Maria you went all wonky on me—every time, Jules. Every time.”
“I know. Sorry.”
“I understand. The one thing you don’t do to either Dearling twin is lead her to water and then expect her to drink it!”
Julia laughed. “That’s true, isn’t it? I need to process this…maybe we could talk after your honeymoon?”
“Deal. Are you all right, little sister?”
“Three minutes! You’re only three minutes older.”
“Older is older,” Vitty grinned. “You have a little mascara under your eyes. Here.” Vitty grabbed a tissue on the vanity and tenderly wiped off the makeup.
“I abandoned Rina. Is she okay out there?”
“She’s amazing. What a warm and loving woman. Huh.”
“What?”
Vitty shook her head. “I’m marrying a Jewish lawyer from Jersey, and my little sister is marrying Katarina Verralta. What universe is this? I’ve never seen you this happy—well, minus this reunion with Maria. I watch how Rina looks at you, how she treats you. She adores you.”
Julia smiled. “Yes, she does. And I’m over the moon about her. It doesn’t bother you that I’m with someone so much older?”
Vitty raised her eyebrows. “Bother me? Hardly. From what I’ve seen, you’re not only right for each other—you have that special right kind of right. It’s so obvious how in love you both are. Not only that, the two of you are so opposite that you’re practically alike.”
Julia nodded. “I’ve never thought of it that way, but that’s really true.”
“Like I said, you’re the right kind of right.”
“Come on, Vitty. What do you say we wrap up this dinner and go home so we can all hang out? I have the casita made up for David to stay there tonight.”
“What?”
“He can chill with us when we get home, but then I’m kicking him out. Bad luck for him to stay with you before the wedding.”
Vitty groaned. “What are you, like, channeling Grandmother Lucia and her superstitions?”
“Hey, she’ll always be part of our family tradition.”
“Fine, but you’re the one who’s going to have to tell him.”
Julia stared at her. “Oh no, I’m not!” She thought for an instant. “I know, we’ll let Rina tell him. He likes her.”
“He loves her. Everyone loves her—she’s Katarina Verralta, for god’s sake! Just get me through my wedding tomorrow and I promise next month I’ll do the same for you.” Vitty looked down at Julia’s hand with the pinky sticking up. “Seriously?”
“Pinky swear.” Julia held up her hand.
“What are we, six years old?”
Julia tapped her foot, waiting.
Vitty linked pinkies with her. “Fine! Pinky swear.”
Chapter Forty-Nine
A month later, on the morning of her own nuptials, Julia wandered through the Malibu mansion alone, taking in the view of the sapphire diamond-studded Pacific from every room. Workers were bustling across the grounds, setting up for the wedding, carrying large bouquets and placing hundreds of chairs on either side of the wide aisle. Stopping to take in the moment, she awakened to the magic that had become her reality—and it gave her goose bumps.
Although she and Rina had been together long enough to know they wanted to get married, she couldn’t help imagine this whole new part of their life—where the shadows she had once painfully occupied were now suffused with light, shining a spotlight on the good they brought forth together into the world.
Rina had come a long way—they both had. Rina was no longer only loved for her talent, but for her philanthropy and her kindness in helping those causes who badly needed her name and commitment. She had told Julia that without her, none of it would have happened—that she would have remained isolated, miserable, without the deepest connection and happiness she had ever known.
Vitty had been right when she said that Julia and Rina were so opposite they were practically alike. But what surprised Julia the most was that never would she have imagined there would come a day when she would view the “closeted” period of their relationship as a good thing. In retrospect, what she finally appreciated was that all the time she and Rina had spent in the shadows had given them what would otherwise have been a lost opportunity.
During that time, they had truly gotten to know each other, to love each other, and away from the public eye, Julia was able to appreciate the side of Rina she loved the most—the girl she had fallen in love with. Not the movie star that the world idolized, but the tender girl inside the woman who had learned to ride a horse, to cook, and who laughed at her silly jokes. And in that time, Julia had learned to make an entrance—and to open herself to a world beyond her imagination.
According to Rina, if it hadn’t been for Julia and the Y2, she might never have understood the precious stillness that being far from the spotlight had afforded her. She still maintained that being with Julia is what finally allowed her to see who she really was, even though she had to
dig it out from where it was buried under layers, beneath decades of fame.
Julia’s thoughts drifted to the night before, to her last conversation with her mother and Vitty—after everyone had gone to bed. After having learned the truth about why Maria had left her and her sister with their grandmother, Julia realized that while the past could never be recaptured, she felt hopeful about their future as a family—a real family. In part, she owed that awareness to her very-soon-to-be wife. Rina was right—and wise. There really is more to all of us than what meets the eye.
On her way downstairs through the kitchen, Julia took the fresh flower bouquets and left the main house to deliver them to the guesthouse. Bright and beautiful, they were a harbinger of the peace and joy she would share with those she loved. Maybe I should sculpt these bouquets. The galleries may want more of my horses, but I’d bet Rina would love to have forever-flowers.
She meandered along the driveway, remembering her first impression of the estate as the old Fiat, gone now but not forgotten, chugged up to the house. She vowed to someday restore the Fiat that sat idle in her garage on the ranch. Now this would be her home, along with the Y2, or what would be left of the ranch once she sold off the part that would buy Vitty and David a house in New York.
Before knocking on the door to the cottage that David and Vitty shared with Maria and Syd, Julia closed her eyes and inhaled the mélange of scents.
Maria answered the door with a loving smile, her bright blue eyes filled with tears at the sight of her no longer estranged daughter. “Hi, honey.” She hugged Julia, and this time Julia embraced her. “Come in. How are you holding up?” She stroked Julia’s hair.
Julia exhaled a huge sigh. “I’m nervous as hell, Mom. The ceremony is in a few hours and I keep breaking out in a sweat and reminding myself to breathe.” The moment struck her again. Julia Dearling-Verralta! Oh my god, I’m going to be hyphenated!
Maria reached for Julia’s hand and squeezed it. “Don’t worry about a thing—it’s all going to be fine. I promise.” She looked down at the boulder on her daughter’s finger. “If that diamond sparkles any brighter, I’ll need sunglasses.”
“Rina had our rings cleaned yesterday.”
“I can’t wait to see your wedding bands. I’ll bet they’re gorgeous.”
Julia chuckled. “When she originally asked me what kind of band I liked, I told her a cigar band would do just fine.”
“You didn’t!” Maria laughed.
Julia nodded, and inside her, for the first time since the day before Maria had left the Y2 for good, she felt her mother’s love—her care. And the trust she had once placed in the woman began to slowly creep back into her heart.
“Vittoria,” her mother called out, “your sister is here.”
“Hey, Juju, come on in. There are some things Mom and I have put together for you.”
“What things?” Julia asked.
Vitty smiled. “Come with us.”
Julia followed them into Vitty’s bedroom.
“Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue,” Maria said.
Julia lit up when she saw it. “Grandmother Lucia’s necklace!”
“Of course,” said Vitty. “I wore it at my wedding and now it’s your turn. Someday we’ll look back at our wedding pictures and argue about who wore it best.”
They shared a laugh while Julia removed the Cartier necklace that Rina had given her the first time she’d asked Julia for a commitment. Julia flashed on that moment up in the cabin, the two of them naked in front of the fire. She handed the necklace to Vitty. “Make sure nothing happens to this please.”
“That’s a maid of honor’s job,” Vitty said, placing it in the jewelry box that had held their grandmother’s necklace.
Maria opened the clasp of the sapphire set in gold that had been handed down from mother to daughter for generations. “This will take care of the something old, borrowed, and blue.” Maria placed it around Julia’s neck from behind and her hands shook trying to secure it. “I’m so excited, I can’t get the clasp locked.”
“Here, let me do it,” Vitty said.
Once it was on Julia’s neck, she went immediately to a mirror to admire it.
“Thank you, Mari—Mom. This means a lot to me.”
Maria sighed. “It looks beautiful on you, and I know your grandmother would be so proud that you’re wearing it to get married. Vitty? You’re up.”
Vitty stepped forward and held out a small jewelry box. “Go ahead, look inside. It’s your ‘something new.’”
Julia sat, opened the box and stared at the locket inside.
Vitty sat next to her. “It’s a locket for your bridal bouquet. Open it.”
Julia gasped when she did. Tears filled her eyes and she flung her arms around her twin. “She’s here with us, isn’t she?” Inside the new locket was a picture of Julia as a child, hugging Grandmother Lucia with all her might.
“Of course she’s here,” said Maria. “Now you have her necklace and a locket for your bouquet.”
“Feeling a little better now?” Vitty asked.
“I am. Thank you both. I feel complete now, having my family with me.”
Syd had entered the house and watched from the bedroom doorway.
“Oh good, you’re back,” Maria said. “How was your walk on the beach?”
“Beautiful, honey.” She went to Maria and kissed her cheek. “When I came up the stairs from the beach, I saw the set up out back. Julia, it’s magnificent. What a backdrop for the ceremony—that endless blue ocean.”
“Except for the ocean, all of that is Rina and Gigi and their magic makers. My almost-wife knows how to throw a party in Malibu, that’s for sure. Honestly, I’d have been just as happy getting married on horseback out on the ranch.”
All three women laughed at her.
“What?” asked Julia. “What’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing,” Syd answered, “until you see how you’re actually going to get married.”
Julia’s eyes opened wide. “Oh my god, I’m getting married—on a cliff. Oh, somebody make sure I don’t fall off that cliff.”
“I just got you back,” Maria joked. “I’m not losing you to a cliff!”
“You ready to marry the love of your life?” asked Vitty.
“My thoughts are racing, my heart speeds up to where I can’t catch my breath…so, yeah, I’m really looking forward to breathing again. That, and not worrying about falling off the cliff would be good, too.”
“Where is Rina, anyway?” Maria asked.
“She’s superstitious like me, so we spent the night apart, and frankly the house is so damn big, she’s tucked away in her suite and I’ve been relegated to my own. Last night when she called to say good night, she made me promise that we wouldn’t see each other until we walk down the aisle.”
“I’ll get you there, Juju,” said Vitty. “Look at the time! Come on, we have to get you back to the house. You need to shower. Rina made me promise to have you ready in time for hair and makeup.”
“You spoke to her today?”
“Yes. She said to make sure you eat something. And that it won’t be Mark doing your hair—she’s sending someone else.”
“Who’s Mark?” asked Maria.
“He’s the stylist who did my hair and makeup on Oscar night.”
“The night Rina proposed,” Maria said. “With me watching and not knowing the Julia she had proposed to was my daughter!” She grabbed Julia suddenly and held her close. “Oh how I’ve missed you.”
“Quit it, Mom. You’re going to make me a blubbering idiot.”
Vitty laughed. “You were the lucky one, Mom.”
“Why?”
“Go ahead,” Julia urged, “tell her.”
Vitty continued. “I didn’t see the Oscars, nor did I know that the Rina Julia had told me about was Katarina. My coworker’s sister works for TMZ and when she saw the viral video of Julia jumping those hurdles on that police horse,
she thought it was me. The next morning the press stampeded me outside my office building. I had no idea why until I battled my way inside and my boss showed me the video. That’s how I found out.”
Julia poked Vitty’s arm. “Like you could have jumped those sawhorses.”
They shared a laugh and Maria pulled back to look into Julia’s eyes. “Right now you remind me of when you were ten and I told you that you could keep Lightning. The expression on your face is exactly the same. Look at my girls, Syd. I couldn’t be prouder of you both.” She laced her arms around their necks and hugged her daughters.
Vitty squeezed Julia’s hand.
“Before you go,” Maria smiled, “I want to thank you both for giving me this opportunity—for allowing me back into your lives.”
Julia returned the smile. “I’m sure Grandmother would have wanted this for us.”
“So, Juju, are you ready?” Vittoria asked.
“Yes.” On the way out, she hugged her mother again and then hugged Syd before she and Vitty took off on yet another Dearling Twins adventure.
“See you at the wedding, honey!” Maria called out, waving from behind as the girls climbed the driveway.
* * *
The sisters moved to the side of the driveway when they heard a vehicle behind them.
“What the hell?” said Julia when she saw a horse trailer being towed by a pickup.
Vitty laughed. “We got one over on you but good!”
Julia held up her hand to stop the truck and raced to the trailer’s window. “Lightning! Thunder!” She turned to Vitty. “Are you kidding me!
“Rina wanted it to be a surprise. She said she couldn’t imagine you getting married without having Thunder and Lightning here.”
“I can’t believe—” Julia placed her hand over her heart. “Could that woman know me any better?”
“Ahem!” said the woman who hopped out from the passenger side of the truck and walked toward them. She scratched her head. “Which one of you is Julia?”
Julia’s jaw dropped open. “Officer Morrison?” she said awestruck.
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