She wondered if Luke was still wearing his ring. It had been days now since they’d talked. She’d expected him to call by now.
But her phone stayed silent.
She clicked off the TV and went upstairs. When she got to the top of the stairs, she turned right instead of going to her bedroom. She opened the only closed door down the hallway.
The room that was to have been the nursery.
A wooden rocking chair was the lone piece of furniture in the room. Luke had gotten rid of everything from the nursery except for the rocker. It had been the one his own mother had rocked him in.
She sat in the chair and slowly rocked back and forth, just as she’d always imagined rocking their baby. Even though they’d never found out if she’d carried a boy or a girl, she’d always thought the baby was a boy. She never told Luke though. When he’d ask, she’d smile and say they’d have to wait and see.
But she’d known how much he wanted a son, and she felt in her heart that a son was what they’d lost.
And even though they hadn’t had a real memorial service, there wasn’t a day that Summer didn’t remember her baby. Even if Luke tried to pretend it never happened, Summer knew better. She’d carried that tiny life inside of her, and that was something she could never forget.
Chapter 22
You okay?” Rose asked from the door of Bobby’s room.
Luke looked up from the papers and books he was sifting through. “Yeah. I found a couple of mementos. One of his high school yearbooks and a tattered copy of The Old Man and the Sea.”
Rose smiled. “You want any of his old T-shirts?”
Luke shook his head. “No. I wouldn’t wear them. And then they’d be in my closet staring at me, reminding me that he’s not here anymore.” He met her gaze. “Not that I need reminding.”
She sat next to him on the bed. “You’ve had a tough time with it. Tougher than the rest of us, I think.”
“I still wish we would’ve fought harder for a prosecution.”
She sighed. “It was an accident. That other driver was so upset, he didn’t know what to do.” She patted Luke’s back. “You know that.”
He let out a breath. No one else had seen it like him. Not even Summer. He’d pushed everyone to go after the other driver, certain the guy had been doing something wrong. But everyone had tried to get him to drop it.
Summer had even mentioned him seeing a grief counselor. They’d had a huge argument about it. She’d thought itwould do him a world of good, but he couldn’t stomach sitting in a room with some stranger and sharing his feelings.
“You sure that’s all you want?” Rose asked, motioning toward his paltry stack.
He nodded. “Yeah.” He didn’t need material things to help him remember Bobby. He’d remember him when he saw a Ford Mustang drive past or when he heard a Kenny Chesney song or when he saw two little boys with their fishing poles at Folly Beach. Memories like that were worth more than material possessions anyway.
Rose walked over to Bobby’s dresser. “There’s something I’d like for you to have.”
“What’s that?”
She opened a drawer and pulled something out. She walked over and handed him a tattered blue leather book. “His Bible. He had the same one since he was thirteen and got baptized.”
He recoiled then accepted the Bible from her. Bobby’s full name was engraved in gold down in the right-hand corner: ROBERT JAMES NELSON. Luke ran his fingers over his brother’s name. He hadn’t cracked his own Bible open in nearly a year. “Thanks.” He refused to meet Rose’s gaze.
“Luke, some people let a tragedy tear their whole life apart. Grief is one thing. But letting it eat you up is another. Do you think Bobby would want that?”
“How do we know what Bobby would want? He’s not here to tell us, and we sure shouldn’t answer for him.”
Rose sighed. “I can answer for him. So can you. We knew him. We knew what he was all about. Bobby was fun and love and laughs. Do you think he’d like it if he knew the brotherhe adored, the guy who practically raised him, was sitting here looking like a shell of himself?”
Her words stung. He didn’t want to think about what Bobby would think or say. That only made him miss his brother more. “I’m fine. I don’t know why everyone keeps thinking otherwise.”
Rose raised an eyebrow. “So Summer agrees with me?”
He dropped his head in his hands. “I moved out.” Saying the words out loud pierced his heart, but he knew Rose wasn’t going to let up before she got it out of him.
She sat beside him on the bed. “Tell me. Tell me everything.”
Ashley paced the length of her living room. It was nearly time for Justin to be there, and her nerves were starting to get the best of her.
The other night over burgers, she’d felt like they had a connection. It seemed like he was truly remorseful for his bad judgment on their first date.
But now, she wasn’t sure what to expect.
A knock sounded at the door.
Showtime.
Ashley pasted on a smile and flung the door open.
Justin stood on the steps with a big grin on his face, a tiny blond-haired boy at his side. He held on to the child’s hand. “Hi, Ashley.” He nudged the little boy. “Like we practiced,” he whispered.
“Hi, Miss Ashley.” The child’s face lit up with a smile.
Ashley shot Justin a puzzled look and knelt down to see the little boy. “What’s your name?”
“Colton,” he said. “I’m this many.” He held up three fingers.
She couldn’t help but laugh. “Nice to meet you, Colton.” She stood and motioned toward the living room. “Come on in.”
Justin pulled a truck out of his pocket and handed it to Colton. “Sit right here at the coffee table and play with your truck while I talk to Miss Ashley, okay?”
“‘Kay.” Colton sat down and started running the truck along the length of the coffee table.
Justin motioned for Ashley to step into the kitchen. “I’m sorry. His mom and little sister are sick. He didn’t have anywhere to go, so he’s spending the weekend with me.”
“Are you his…dad?” she asked. It seemed like Justin would’ve mentioned being a father.
He shook his head. “Nope. His mom, Samantha, and I only went out a couple of times. We knew each other from college. But we stayed friends. And when she had Colton, I sort of stepped in to help care for him.” He shrugged. “Strange, I know. But that kid has a piece of my heart. His situation isn’t his fault, and I want to make sure he has a man in his life.”
She felt her heart melt right then and there. “You should’ve told me. I would’ve understood.”
“I wasn’t sure how to bring it up. And then I was afraid it would sound like an excuse not to see you.” He touched her arm. “And I did want to see you. But I hope that a date night with both me and Colton is okay.”
“It’s more than okay. It sounds perfect.” She returned his smile and felt a flutter in her stomach she hadn’t felt in a long time. “So what do you have in mind?”
“Is someplace kid friendly good with you? And then maybe we’ll drive out to the beach and walk around or something.”
“My kind of day.” She glanced down at her denim capris, red tank top, and flip-flops. She’d had a feeling it would be a casual date and hadn’t been wrong.
“Let’s go, little man.” Justin scooped Colton into his arms, and the little boy giggled.
Ashley couldn’t tear her eyes away. Was there a sight cuter than a man and a child sharing a bond? If her biological clock ticked any louder, everyone would hear it. She followed them outside and locked the door. “Third time you’ve been here, and third car you’ve driven.” She laughed.
Justin smiled. “When I have Colton with me, I borrow my mom’s car. I don’t feel safe otherwise.” He lifted Colton into the car seat and buckled him in then opened the passenger door for her.
“Wow. So that was part of your act the other night
too then?”
He flinched. “Yeah. Sorry. It just about killed me to not open the doors for you.” He climbed inside the Taurus and glanced back at Colton. “Are you hungry?”
“Yes!” Colton exclaimed.
Justin turned to Ashley. “Is Chick-fil-A okay with you? I think there’s one not too far from here.”
She nodded. “Sounds perfect.”
He started the car, and the music blared a children’s tune.
Justin turned down the volume. “Sorry.”
She burst out laughing. “I didn’t peg you for a ‘Wheels on the Bus’ kind of guy, but I like it.”
He backed the car out of the driveway and headed toward the restaurant.
Ashley listened to Colton’s sweet voice singing along and couldn’t help but smile. She’d never gone on a date quite like this one.
But she was having the time of her life.
Chapter 23
I don’t want to talk about it.” Luke stood up from where he’d been sitting on Bobby’s bed and walked over to the chair in the corner. He sat down and crossed his arms, wishing he hadn’t told his sister that he’d moved out.
“For someone so smart, you can be really dumb sometimes,” Rose said. “Just tell me what’s happened. Maybe I can help.”
He shook his head. “No one can.” He filled her in on the fiasco with the boat.
She furrowed her brow. “But why does the account matter so much to her? You guys have plenty.”
He’d hoped to avoid telling Rose. “The money was what we’d set aside for the baby.”
Rose’s brown eyes lit up. “Is she pregnant? That’s such wonderful news. The last time I saw her, she mentioned that you guys were hopeful it would happen soon.”
Luke scowled. “No. She’s not.” He sighed. “But she was.”
Rose came over and put a hand on his shoulder. “Oh Luke. I’m so sorry. You should’ve told me.”
He scratched his head. “Nah. We’d planned on announcing it to everyone at Christmas. But she didn’t quite make it that far.”
“I could’ve helped her.”
He drew his brows together. “How?”
She sat down on the end of the bed, facing him. “I’ve been through it. Before we had Dale, we lost a little girl. Susanna Elyse.”
“You named her after Mama?”
Rose nodded. “That was the name I had picked out all along. We’d just learned that we were having a girl when it happened. It was the lowest point in my life.”
He met her eyes. “How’d you get over it?”
She shrugged. “Just by grieving. We talked about her a lot. Still do, actually. It always gave me comfort to think that she was with Mama. But that didn’t stop the hurting.”
Luke shook his head. “Summer always wants to talk about our child. She wanted to guess what he or she would’ve grown up to be and who the baby would’ve looked most like.” He frowned. “But I didn’t think talking about it was a good idea.”
“That was her baby, Luke. She carried that baby inside her body. Of course she’s not going to forget about her child. She probably felt really guilty, too. When something like that happens and you’re so powerless…all you can do is wonder if you somehow did something wrong.”
He wondered if that’s how Summer had felt. He hoped not. She was certainly not to blame. She’d been so cautious, following all the rules the doctor gave her. She always followed the rules. “I know that she isn’t going to forget the baby. But I wasn’t sure if talking about the loss was healthy for her.”
“You sound like a chip off the old block. Daddy’s never been able to talk about his feelings either.”
Luke hated to be compared to his father. “I thought it would be best for everyone if we moved on from what happened.”
“Best for everyone or best for you?” Rose asked.
He let her words soak in for a minute. “Everyone.”
She shook her head. “Well, you’re welcome to look at Susanna’s memorial stone. It’s in the front of the house in the flower bed.” She patted him on the leg. “Sometimes remembering what we’ve lost is comforting.”
“Mama,” Katie Beth said from the doorway, “Dale needs to go potty.”
Rose glanced at Luke. “I’ll be right back.”
Luke picked up Bobby’s things and stood. “Don’t worry about it. I should go anyway.” He kissed her on the cheek. “It’s been great to see you.”
She clutched his arm. “And I can count on you to check on Daddy? Because you know I’m going to expect you to let me know how he’s doing.”
He nodded. “You can count on me.” He headed out the front door and stopped at the sidewalk. There amid the flowers was a stone with Susanna’s name on it.
“She’s our angel, you know,” Katie Beth said, coming up behind him.
He jumped at her voice. He hadn’t realized she’d followed him outside. “Yeah.”
“Just like Mommy’s Mommy. They’re in heaven together watching over us. And now Uncle Bobby is with them. Like a family reunion except without the Kentucky Fried Chicken.”
He smiled down at her. “When did you get to be so smart?”
She shrugged. “Kindergarten, I guess.” She grinned, revealing a missing front tooth. “Are you sad, Uncle Luke?”
“Why would you say that?”
Katie Beth grabbed his hand. “Because Aunt Summer couldn’t come with you today.”
He knelt down in front of her. “Aunt Summer would’ve loved to have seen you. She loves you a lot.”
“And Dale, too?”
“Yes. Dale, too.”
Katie Beth tugged on his hand. “Next time can you bring Aunt Summer and Milo with you? I think he would like to see us, too.”
He couldn’t help but smile. Last year right before Bobby’s accident, they’d all gotten together, and Milo had been a huge hit with Katie Beth. By the end of the day, they’d been best buddies. “He’d like to see you, too.”
“But not Dale, because he pulled his tail last time.”
Luke chuckled. “Milo is pretty forgiving, so I think he’d be happy to see both of you. Now I’d best get going.”
Katie Beth flung her arms around his neck and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Bye.”
He kissed her on the cheek. She smelled like cherry Kool-Aid and sunscreen. “Bye.” He climbed into his truck and tossed Bobby’s things in the passenger seat.
Luke headed toward the marina, realizing it wasn’t even five. The long weekend stretched out ahead of him, and for the first time since he could remember, he didn’t have any responsibilities.
The logical side of him said that should make him happy.
That’s what he’d wanted, after all. Peace and quiet to sort out his thoughts without anyone making any demands on his time.
So why was it that the weekend felt more like a prison than like the freedom he’d expected?
Memorial Day dawned bright and clear. Summer had to admit she felt pretty proud of herself. She’d finally remembered to set the timer on the coffeepot last night.
She hadn’t realized how much she depended on Luke to brew her coffee. The first couple of mornings after he left, she’d stumbled down the stairs and stared bleary-eyed at the empty coffeemaker, saying words unbecoming of a lady.
But today she sipped her coffee at the table as Milo snored at her feet. Even though she still felt like she was on rocky ground, that simple act of independence gave her a sense of control.
Control.
Luke, Ashley, and pretty much everyone who’d ever met her had accused her at one time or another of being a control freak. She didn’t see it that way though. Summer appreciated it when things made sense. And order made sense to her. Her books were alphabetized on their shelf and sorted by paperback and hardback. She arranged her closet by color. Her filing system at work was so pristine, anyone could come in and find a file even if they’d never opened her file cabinet before.
Order made sense. And when thing
s made sense, she didn’t feel as tense as she did when things felt out of control.
She’d always figured it was one of the reasons she and Luke worked so well together. He dreamed the dreams, and she put the foundations underneath them. Without him, she’d be completely without imagination. And without her, he’d drift aimlessly.
At least that’s what she’d always thought.
But he must be getting along okay, because he hadn’t called her.
And she might not be doing okay, but at least she’d remembered to make the coffee. Baby steps. That was all she could ask of herself.
Today, though, would be a test. Her parents’ annual Memorial Day get together had always been her family’s way to kick off the summer. She and Luke went every year.
Going solo to the party could be dangerous. There would be landmines everywhere. Well-meaning relatives jumping out of the azaleas to ask where Luke was or when she was planning to start a family. Chloe would be there with her pregnancy glow to make Summer feel like a complete failure. Gram would take one look at her and know something was wrong.
Not to mention the usual dealings with her mother, who would be oblivious to her pain and probably want to talk about planning an upcoming shopping trip.
Yes, the landmines would be impossible to dodge. But she couldn’t hide from them forever.
Thirty minutes later, she turned her SUV toward Isle of Palms. She rolled the windows down and turned the radio up.
The blue sky and bright sunshine made it a perfect Chamber of Commerce day. It looked like the brochures they sent out to tourists to entice them into visiting.
Except that Summer knew what was in store for her. Each mile brought her another twinge of anxiety.
She parked in her parents’ driveway and walked up the steps that led to the porch. She took a deep breath. These people were her family. They had her back no matter what. Or at least that was how it was supposed to work.
She opened the door. The foyer was empty. Everyone must be outside. She walked into the living room and tucked her purse underneath a chair.
A Wedding to Remember in Charleston, South Carolina Page 13