by N L Hinkens
Mia blinked her long lashes as she contemplated what Jo was saying. “So, are you saying you would help me put it up for adoption?”
“Absolutely,” Jo assured her. “If that’s what you want, I’ll do what I can to make the process as smooth as possible.”
Mia pressed whitened knuckles to her lips, a calculating look in her eyes. “I need to think it over. It’s a big decision.”
Jo nodded, digging her nails into her palms. She couldn’t push too hard, but she couldn’t give Mia too much slack either. She didn’t want her walking out of here and scheduling an abortion after all. “I’m available to talk any time, so don’t hesitate to come back later on this afternoon or tomorrow if you have any questions. Just don’t put off the decision for too long—it’s only going to get harder.”
Mia stood, flicking a waterfall of silky blonde hair over one shoulder as she headed for the door. “Thanks, Mrs. Murphy. You’ve been very helpful.”
Once Mia had left the room and closed the door behind her, Jo sank her face into her arms on the desk, trembling all over. She felt like a deflated balloon, bereft of air and sentiment, an empty sack of skin. How in any universe was it fair that Mia got to make the decision about whether her child lived or died when that decision had been made for Jo against her will? Salty tears pricked her eyes, but she forced them back as she gulped a steadying breath. She had to hold her head above the wave of emotions that threatened to drown her. Her next appointment would be here in a few minutes. She needed to get a grip and do what she did best. Tonight, she would evaluate her options and plan a reasonable course of action to steer Mia in the right direction.
By the time Jo shut down her computer for the day and pulled her car keys out of her purse, her thoughts were already gravitating back to Mia and her unborn child. The universe was holding out an olive branch to her, and she intended to take it. This baby was her ticket to saving her marriage, and her sanity in one fell swoop. She knew what she had to do and she would not allow her plan to fail. Time was of the essence. First, she had to sound out Liam. Would he be in favor of them adopting Mia’s baby? They’d briefly discussed adoption in the past, but Liam hadn’t wanted to give up on the dream of having their own child. The truth was, Jo was tired of the unending cycle of disappointment and defeat. Tired of the highs and lows that defined her as barren. She hated that word, so empty and purposeless. Her body had conspired against her for far too long. But now fate had thrown her a lifeline and she intended to take hold of it with both hands.
Besides, this was a chance for her and Liam to do something good while fulfilling their desire to have a child of their own at long last. Everyone would get what they wanted out of it. What was wrong with that? She deserved this child. A tiny bubble of anticipation flickered inside Jo’s chest. By her calculation, they could be parents in time for Thanksgiving. A baby for the holidays. Could anything be more perfect? Surely it was a sign it was meant to be. She smiled at the framed photo of Liam on her desk. She would stop by the store on the way home and pick up some steaks to cook a romantic dinner before she presented her idea to him. Any resistance would melt in the face of her persuasive culinary efforts.
After locking up her office, Jo made her way to the parking lot and climbed into her car. She was about to turn the key in the ignition when someone pounded on the passenger side window. She glanced across to see Sarah Gleeson waving at her through the glass. She rolled down the window and grinned at her friend. “Hey you!”
“We missed you at lunch,” Sarah said. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Robbie thought you seemed a bit down this morning.”
“Just having some couple communications issues, nothing serious,” Jo replied with a sheepish grin. It was even harder hiding the truth about her infertility from Sarah than it was from Robbie. She was one of those genuinely warm and caring people with an infectious smile—the kind of person you wanted to bare your soul to.
“Things aren’t always what they seem. It’s easy to get the wrong end of the stick—we’ve all been there,” Sarah said, a shadow momentarily crossing her face. “But I have the perfect solution. Robbie and I are planning a getaway to Europe this summer. You and Liam should come too! It would do you good to have an adventure—experience something new. Of course, everything there’s old, but that’s kind of the point, isn’t it?” she gushed. “Medieval castles, historical ruins. It all sounds so romantic, and it’s been on my bucket list since seventh grade. It would be even better if you joined us.”
“Wow, thanks, Sarah,” Jo responded. “I’ll run it by Liam this evening.” She wouldn’t of course, not now when there was a possibility of a baby on the horizon and all the added expense that went along with it. But, it was a sacrifice she was more than happy to make. Europe had been in existence for hundreds of years, and it would still be around to visit when their baby was grown.
“Awesome!” Sarah beamed at her. “Let me know what Liam says. We’d have a blast together.” She blew Jo a kiss and headed off in the direction of her car.
Jo pulled out of the school parking lot and merged with the afternoon traffic, clearing her head of all thoughts of medieval Europe, her mind going instead to the sonogram of her most recent baby and the tiny heart that had inexplicably ceased to beat despite the empowering words she’d whispered to it and the love messages she had sent through the blood pumping along her own veins. She couldn’t go through another miscarriage, and there would be no need to if her plan succeeded.
Inside the grocery store, Jo wheeled her cart down the dairy aisle eying the squirming babies propped up in carts as she went by. She glanced down at the two empty seats in the front of her own cart, imagining what it would be like to see tiny fingers gripping the bar, chubby legs kicking excitedly as she pretended to race the cart up and down the aisles. The anticipation inside her was building to volcanic overload. There was a real possibility she could become a mother this year if she played her cards right.
But first, she needed to persuade Liam to buy into the idea. After that, she would set her sights on Mia. The only hitch was the thorn of guilt that nagged at her about hiding Mia’s pregnancy from the Tomaselli family. Noah had parents who would, no doubt, want their grandbaby to be a part of their lives if they knew of its existence. But she quickly quashed her pangs of conscience. She couldn’t allow anything to come between her and the chance of becoming a mother.
When she reached the meat counter, she took her time selecting a cut of filet mignon, and then wandered over to the liquor aisle to pick up a bottle of Liam’s favorite Syrah. The twenty-dollar price tag made it an indulgence for a weeknight, but it would be worth every penny if it bought her Liam’s endorsement of her plan.
“Now that’s my kind of dinner,” the balding checker remarked as he rang her up. “All red and no green.”
Jo chuckled politely. “My husband has a vegetable garden he takes great pride in, so I’m usually stuck cooking whatever has to be picked that week.”
“And here I was thinking I’d found a soulmate,” the checker said, shaking his head in mock sorrow as he handed her the receipt. “You have a good evening now.”
Jo made it home shortly after four o’clock, which left her plenty of time to take a hot shower and set the table before she heated up the grill. Standing in front of the vanity mirror in her bathroom, she slipped off her glasses and surveyed herself with a critical eye. Her roots badly needed touching up. She kept putting it off, telling herself she needed to save her money for another round of IVF. It wasn’t fair to herself or Liam to keep going on like this year after year. Deep down she suspected Liam was growing weary of it all too, working longer hours to avoid her and the empty house they had purchased with future children in mind. It was time to change tactics. If she couldn’t make a baby, she would take Mia’s unwanted one off her hands, one way or another.
4
Jo hummed to herself as she prepped a platter of stir fry vegetables to accompany the steaks marinating in a
casserole dish on the counter. Euphoria had replaced her feelings of failure. Her sense of desperation had dissipated now that she had a new target to shoot for, one that wasn’t at the mercy of doctors, and monthly cycles, and fruitless procedures. She hadn’t even opened the bottle of Syrah yet, but she already felt tipsy. This opportunity to adopt a baby had fallen into her lap out of the blue, a gift from God, who, up until now, had given and taken away with unrelenting consistency. She was well aware it would still require her finest negotiating skills to steer Mia toward making the right choice. Her main concern seemed to be hiding the fact that she was pregnant, although she had expressed some reluctance to make a decision she might regret later. Then there was Mia’s mother to take into consideration. Would she push for an abortion? Even if she wanted her daughter to have the baby, would she be in favor of Mia’s high school counselor adopting her grandchild? Jo wasn’t entirely opposed to the idea of Mia’s mother visiting the baby, but she had a feeling Mia wouldn’t want that. If her mother began popping around to Jo’s on a regular basis, it wouldn’t take long for some nosy neighbor to connect the dots.
Once the vegetables were scrubbed, chopped, and diced, Jo set the glass table with an embroidered runner, silver-plated candlesticks and the Waterford crystal wine glasses that had been a wedding present but had sat in solitary confinement in a display cabinet ever since. The occasion merited risking their demise. That was the thing about euphoria, you took risks you wouldn’t entertain in your normal emotional state where common sense prevailed.
Deciding the elegant decor needed a splash of color to finish it off, Jo took a pair of shears into the back yard and gathered a posy of pink, peach, and crimson roses for her favorite cut-crystal bowl centerpiece. As she stood back from the table admiring her handiwork, she heard the key turn in the front door. She hurriedly smoothed out her hair and whipped off her apron before turning to greet Liam.
“Hey honey,” he said, a catch of uncertainty in his voice as he surveyed the dining table and subdued lighting. “What’s going on?”
Jo slipped her arms around his neck and kissed him. “I just thought we deserved a special dinner tonight. It was a rough weekend for both of us.”
Liam set his briefcase on the kitchen island and eyed the steaks. “Great.”
The lingering wary note in his voice told Jo he was treading carefully, afraid to say too much, too little, or the wrong thing. Experience had proven that her post-miscarriage mood could change direction quicker than a tropical storm on steroids. Perhaps he feared she was about to proposition him with another round of IVF and all the humiliation it entailed for someone who valued his privacy as much as Liam did.
“Let me pour you a glass of wine and then I’ll turn on the grill,” Jo said. “I picked up a bottle of your favorite Syrah.”
“Now you’re talking. In that case, I’ll cook the steaks,” Liam replied, his tone warming to the occasion. He slipped off his jacket and hung it over the back of a bar stool before accepting the Waterford crystal wine glass Jo held out to him.
“Heavy,” he said, raising the glass up and down. “Are these new?”
Jo shook her head in mock disbelief as she filled a glass for herself. “You’ve only been staring at them in the cabinet for the past decade. But to be fair, we never use them.”
Liam carelessly clinked his glass to hers. “Well, I’m glad you changed your mind. Seems a shame not to fill them with a good vino and air them out every now and again.”
A reprimand to be more careful with the crystal danced on the tip of her tongue, but Jo swallowed it back. Liam was blissfully unaware that he was drinking from a glass three times more costly than the wine they were consuming. But this wasn’t the time to sidetrack him. She’d already resolved not to complain if her steak was overdone, which tended to be the case when Liam manned the grill. She would praise his efforts effusively. Tonight, she needed her husband to be receptive to what she was about to propose. Knowing Liam, he would have a hard time seeing past the potential pitfalls in adopting a student’s baby. Somehow, she had to convince him they could make it work, and more importantly, that it was the right thing to do. She couldn’t bear any more failures. Or heartbreak. The painful shards of her most recent miscarriage were still embedded in the darkest corners of her heart.
“Let me know when you’re five minutes out and I’ll throw on the vegetables,” she said, handing Liam the dish with the marinated steaks. She watched as he set about firing up the grill and brushing it down. For once, she let her mind wander in the forbidden realm, imagining him tossing a hot dog on the grill next to the two steaks, and then chasing a squealing, diaper-laden little person around the backyard while their meal cooked. That was what tonight was all about. Paving the way to becoming a proper family. She needed to convey that to Liam, to counter every negative point he raised with a positive one until she broke down his resistance, and the captivating picture of their future family became lodged in his mind as firmly as it was in hers.
“Tell me about your day,” she said once they were seated opposite each other at the table in the dining room. She spooned a helping of crispy vegetables onto Liam’s plate and passed it to him.
“Thanks, honey. I’m upgrading a network system for some new clients—a law firm in town, nice people. They took me out to lunch at that new place that overlooks the river, The Monarch Grill. We should go there sometime.” He sawed on a piece of overdone steak and chewed and swallowed before settling a circumspect gaze on her. “How was your first day back at school?”
“Really good actually. I’m glad I only took Friday off. It’s better for me to be at work where I can feel useful. I don't want to hang around the house moping.”
“You certainly make a difference in those kids’ lives,” Liam said. “I don’t know how you do it, listening to them spouting about their problems week in and week out. It would do my head in.”
“Speaking of making a difference,” Jo said, her tone measured and deliberate. “I had a senior drop by my office this morning. She asked me to help her with something and I thought I’d run it by you to see what you thought.”
“Shoot,” Liam said agreeably, reaching for the bottle to refill their wine glasses.
Jo dabbed at her lips with her linen napkin, her nerves coiled like a spring inside her. She had to bear in mind that it was unrealistic to expect instantaneous buy-in to her scheme on his part. Decision-making for Liam was a multi-step process involving copious amounts of research and analysis, whether it involved buying a new refrigerator or planning a vacation. The idea of jumping on an opportunity was foreign to him.
“Her name’s Mia Allen. She’s one of our most accomplished seniors,” Jo said, selecting her words carefully. “She’s been dating Noah Tomaselli, the football captain, for the past year or so.”
“Yeah, I know his dad, Sérgio,” Liam mumbled between bites. “Good guy. Big shot financial planner. I played golf with him at a charity fundraiser.”
Jo took a quick sip of her wine, allowing herself a moment to digest this. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing that Liam had socialized with Noah’s father. But it wasn’t exactly a good thing either. It might make him push back on the idea of not telling the Tomaselli family about the baby. Jo speared a forkful of vegetables and shoved them into her mouth wrestling with how to proceed. There was too much at stake to risk Liam axing the idea before it got off the ground. There was only one way to ensure he wouldn’t raise any objections about Noah’s rights. She would simply tell him that Mia didn’t know who the father was. Granted, it wouldn’t portray Mia in a particularly good light, but Jo could live with herself telling one little white lie if it meant getting Liam on board.
“You were saying?” he prompted, reaching for the salt.
Jo set down her glass, her scalp prickling. She was about to betray a student’s confidence, but, under the circumstances, it was justifiable. If this conversation went the way she hoped it would, Mia’s annoying problem, would be reso
lved in the most rewarding way imaginable. “I could tell right away she was distraught about something,” Jo continued. “She kept fidgeting and she looked nervous—totally out of character for her—but it took a while before I could persuade her to tell me what was wrong.”
Liam blinked expectantly across at Jo.
“She finally confessed that she’s pregnant.”
Liam raised his brows a fraction. “By the Tomaselli kid?”
“That’s the thing,” Jo said, studying the stem of her glass as she twirled it between her fingers. “She doesn’t know who the father is.”
Liam released a low whistle and leaned back in his chair. “What a mess, and right before graduation. What does she expect you to do about it?”
“She wants me to walk her through the adoption process.” Jo picked at a frayed thread on the runner before settling her gaze on Liam. “I’ve been thinking about it ever since. Why don’t you and I offer to adopt her baby?”
“Whoa! Slow down there.” Liam set down his fork with a clatter and coughed before straightening up in his chair. “You’re a school counselor not a relief agent for a charity.” He wiped a hand over his jaw, frowning. “You didn’t say that to her, did you—about wanting to adopt her baby?”
“No, of course not. I wouldn’t suggest anything like that without talking it over with you first.” Jo smiled tentatively at him over the cut glass bowl of roses. “What would be wrong with us adopting her baby?”
Liam twisted his fork nervously in his hand. “She’s a student in your care. Is that even ethical?”
“She won’t be a student anymore by the time the baby's born. She graduates in two months, and she turns eighteen in ten days—I checked her file. It’s perfectly legal for her to select whomever she wants to adopt her baby.” Jo adjusted her glasses and gazed earnestly at Liam. “Mia would feel a whole lot better about her decision if her baby was placed with someone she knew and respected.”