by N L Hinkens
“He does have a point,” Jo said. “It wouldn’t do to glamorize the suicide angle.”
Robbie grimaced. “I’ve already had a couple of female students knock on my office door to tell me how sorry they are about what happened, and how romantic it all was. Probably the same vein of groupies who write letters to serial killers in prison.” He got to his feet and handed Claire back to Jo. “On that depressing note, I need to get going. Tell Liam hi from me.”
Jo glanced at the clock on her phone. Tory had texted her earlier to let her know that Mia was out with friends, and Jo had promised to take Claire around for a quick visit before dinner. Mia didn’t want any contact, but Tory had asked to see her granddaughter from time to time, no matter how short the visit.
Jo and Tory hadn’t discussed what they would tell Claire as she grew older, they both knew the visits would have to come to an end as soon as she became verbal. They couldn’t risk Mia finding out, or anyone else for that matter.
After making up a bottle and strapping Claire into her car seat, Jo set off. When she pulled up alongside the curb, Tory flung open the front door as if she’d been watching out for their arrival.
“Thanks for bringing her over. I know we won’t be able to do this for much longer.” She gave a sad shake of her head. “One of the neighbors is bound to pick up on it at some point. I’m just grateful I’ve had these opportunities to hold her.” She reached out her hands for Claire and her granddaughter gurgled as Tory held her close to kiss her tiny cheek. “I brewed a pot of coffee.”
“Thanks.” Jo closed the front door behind her. “It’s chilly out there today.”
“This little girl is more beautiful every time I see her,” Tory said, leading the way to the kitchen.
“She really is the spitting image of Mia,” Jo said. “How’s she doing anyway?”
“Good, I guess. She started work a couple of days ago. She got a part-time receptionist job in a doctor’s office so, between my hours and hers, we barely see each other.” Tory frowned as she cradled Claire. “I think she’s been seeing someone. Seems kind of soon to me.”
Jo adjusted her glasses. “Maybe it’s a good thing. She’s young and she needs to move past what happened.”
“I just hope he’s not some loser,” Tory said dubiously. “She’s very secretive about it.”
“Well, she was hurt deeply by Noah. I suppose it’s understandable that she doesn’t want a microscope on her new relationship.”
Tory shrugged. “She’s an adult, she doesn’t have to answer to me anymore. I guess I’ll just have to wait until she introduces us properly.”
Jo glanced at the time on her phone. “I’m sorry, Tory, but I have to get going. We have a babysitter coming over tonight. Liam and I are going out to dinner with friends.”
Tory pulled down the corners of her lips as she handed Claire back. “I’d love to babysit her, if only it wouldn’t raise too many red flags.”
Jo smiled sympathetically. “I’ll do my best to keep you updated with the odd photo now and again. Make sure to delete them off your phone afterward so Mia doesn’t come across them.”
“Thanks, Jo.” Tory smiled at her. “You’ve been so considerate throughout this whole process. I couldn’t ask for a better mother for my granddaughter.”
The two women embraced and then Jo draped her diaper bag over her shoulder and made her way out to the car, turning to wave as Tory closed the door.
On a whim, she decided to stop by Liam’s office for a few minutes. She’d dropped in once before, a few days after they brought Claire home, and she’d promised the women in the office to bring her back again soon. Now would be as good a time as any. They wouldn’t be smack dab in the middle of any important projects this late on a Friday afternoon.
Liam looked up from his desk, a wide grin breaking over his face when he spotted Jo walking toward him with Claire in her arms. “My two favorite ladies.” He got to his feet and held out his hands for his daughter.
The women in the office gathered around like clucking hens admiring Claire who reveled in the attention, her head swiveling side-to-side like a baby bird, eyes wide with wonder.
“What brings you by?” Liam asked, after the women returned to their desks to pack up for the day.
“I was in the neighborhood, just running some errands,” Jo answered, loathe to admit where she’d been. Liam wouldn’t approve of her going behind Mia’s back. “That reminds me, Robbie stopped by earlier. I invited him to spend Christmas with us.”
“Great.” Liam threw a quick glance over his shoulder to make sure the women in the office weren’t listening. “How about I invite Amy, the new receptionist, too? She’s single and on her own for the holidays.”
“Do you really think that’s a good idea?” Jo asked. “I mean, it’s only been a few months.”
Liam shrugged. “I’m not trying to set them up or anything, but you never know what could develop. She’s a squared away girl—not as outgoing as Sarah, but nobody’s going to replace her.”
Jo grimaced inwardly. Apparently, Mia had found a replacement for Noah easily enough, but she could hardly tell Liam that without triggering some awkward questions. “I’d hate for Robbie to be blindsided and feel uncomfortable about it. Why don’t you run it by him first, and then invite Amy if he’s up for it?”
“Yeah, sure, I’ll give him a call.”
“I’ll plan for four unless you tell me otherwise,” Jo said, getting to her feet. “I should get going, Claire’s hungry. Don’t forget we have dinner plans tonight.”
The weeks leading up to Christmas went by in a haze of activity. On Christmas Eve, Jo set the table for four. When she finished with the decorations, she turned to Liam. “How does it look?”
“What?” He looked up from his phone, unsure where to direct his eye.
“The table, for dinner tomorrow.” Jo pointed at it. “Does it look okay?”
“Oh yeah, looks great, honey.” He frowned. “Who else is coming?”
“Robbie and Amy, remember?”
Liam groaned. “Nooo, I totally forgot to invite her.”
Jo glared at him. “You are kidding me, right?”
“I’m sorry, it completely slipped my mind.”
“It’s not too late, why don’t you give her a call now?”
“She went to San Francisco to spend the holidays with friends.”
“I don’t believe this!” Jo turned back to the table and made a show of clearing away one of the place settings.
“Maybe it’s for the best,” Liam offered. “Robbie might not be ready yet.”
“That’s why you were supposed to ask him about it first,” Jo retorted before marching off to the kitchen to put away the extra dishes and cutlery.
She was still miffed with Liam on Christmas morning and annoyed with herself for spoiling their first Christmas with Claire by allowing ill feelings to brew between them while they opened their gifts. By the time the smell of prime rib filled the house, and she had drunk a glass of red wine, she was feeling a little more relaxed about the whole situation. Maybe they could drop a few hints about Amy to Robbie and see how he responded. If he expressed any interest, she’d set up another dinner date.
Shortly before four, Robbie arrived with an oversized, soft toy in tow for Claire. “How’s my favorite girl?” he crooned, touching her button nose gently.
“What’s this supposed to be?” Jo asked, laughing as Robbie handed her the ridiculous-looking stuffed animal.
“The girl in the store told me it was a monkey.”
Jo arched an amused brow. “And you believed her?”
Robbie grinned and hugged Jo, before slapping Liam on the back. “Got the game on?”
“Absolutely,” Liam replied.
“Why don’t you boys get a drink while I put Claire down for her nap?” Jo said.
She carried her daughter upstairs and tucked her into her crib for her afternoon nap. Robbie appeared to be in good form, despite this be
ing his first Christmas without Sarah. Inevitably, she would come up in conversation at some point in the evening, but at least he was putting a good face on it.
Once she was sure Claire was asleep, Jo turned on the baby monitor and got to work in the kitchen mashing potatoes, steaming vegetables, and whipping up fresh cream for the coffee. Her stomach rumbled at the succulent aroma that wafted into the room when she opened the oven door. The prime rib was roasted to perfection, the pepper-and-herb crust a rich brown sheen, the meat tender and juicy in the center. She reached for the potholders and lifted it out, tenting it with tinfoil and letting it rest while she prepared the gravy. Moments later, Liam and Robbie appeared in the doorway. “That smell is too tantalizing to ignore. How can we help?”
“You can take the side dishes out of the warming drawer and put them on the dining room table.” Jo brushed a few strands of hair out of her face with the back of her hand. “Oh, and light the candles, please.”
After Liam had done the honors and carved the roast, they heaped their plates with all the fixings and Robbie filled their wine glasses with a Pinot noir he’d brought. He raised his glass in a toast. “To Claire, the best thing to happen to us all this year.”
“To Claire,” Jo and Liam said in unison.
Jo took a gulp of wine, blinking back tears. It had been a wonderful year, and a terrible year. But, tonight, they were celebrating the good times.
“Jo, you outdid yourself.” Robbie speared another forkful of food. “This is the best prime rib I’ve tasted in my twenty-nine years. And I mean that most sincerely.”
“Well, thank you,” Jo said, self-consciously waving away the compliment. “I’m happy you’re here to share it with us.”
Robbie took a sip of his wine. “Actually, I’m glad you invited me. I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to talk to you both about something.”
Jo leaned back in her chair and looked at him expectantly, a flutter of unease in her stomach. She hoped he wasn’t about to tell them he was transferring to another school—that he wanted to move out of the area and start afresh.
“The thing is,” Robbie said, “I’ve been seeing someone.”
Jo darted a look of surprise in Liam’s direction. Did he know about this?
“You probably think it’s too soon—-” Robbie began, but Jo cut him off.
“No, we would never judge you.” She looked at him earnestly. ”I know you’ve been lonely without Sarah. I’m glad to hear you’re dating again.”
“I’m happy for you too, man,” Liam added. “How’d you meet her?”
Robbie twisted the stem of his wine glass between his fingers. “I suppose you could say we bonded over circumstances. She lost someone close to her too.”
“Well, I think that’s very sweet,” Jo said, smiling. “You’re both coming from a place of pain, so you can be more understanding of each other. When do we get to meet her?”
“You already have,” Robbie replied, “It’s Mia Allen.”
16
Jo choked on a mouthful of wine and groped for her napkin.
When she caught her breath again, she stared at Robbie unblinking, wondering if she’d misheard—if perhaps the wine had gone to her head, or the lack of sleep over the past couple of weeks was finally catching up with her. The half-regretful smile Robbie returned her told her she wasn’t imagining it at all. Her thoughts tumbled over one another as the turkey and the alcohol swirled around in the pit of her stomach in a nauseous spin cycle. The silence at the table was almost deafening until Claire’s cry broke through.
Jo sprang into action, scooting her chair out from the table. “I’ll be right back.”
She tripped her way upstairs and lifted her daughter out of her crib, hugging her close to her trembling body. This was wrong, terribly wrong. Yes, Robbie and Mia were the injured parties in their partners’ scandalous affair, but there was something abnormal about the two of them getting together. How could she possibly go back downstairs and smile and nod and give Robbie her blessing? Granted, Mia had turned eighteen, but only just. What was Robbie thinking? Jo paced the floor cradling Claire’s head as she tried to sort through her churning emotions. He wasn’t thinking—that was it. He was still mourning Sarah, still vulnerable, and about to make a huge mistake like so many lonely men before him. If only she’d had a quiet word with him about the inappropriateness of corresponding with Mia like she’d intended. She needed to help him see that this was a bad, no, a terrible move. She had to stop him before it went any further.
Her mind made up, she went back downstairs, a stiff smile on her face. She slipped Claire into her swing and turned the setting to low, before resuming her place at the table. Liam stared morosely at the wine glass in his hand, avoiding meeting her eyes.
“I know this comes as a shock to you both,” Robbie started up again. “Believe me, neither Mia nor I intended for this to happen.”
“How did it happen?” Jo demanded icily.
Liam shot her a warning look, but she purposefully ignored him.
Robbie rubbed a finger over his brow. “I wrote to Mia and apologized for what Sarah had done.” He shook his head sadly. “I loved Sarah, but I blame her for what happened. Noah was her student.”
“I think they both bear some blame for what happened,” Jo responded, feeling a sudden need to defend Sarah. “Maybe it was Noah’s idea.”
“Yes, but only one of them was an adult,” Robbie said. “Anyway, Mia wrote back and thanked me, pouring out her heart in return. We soon realized we understood each other in a way that no one else could—we’d been lied to, made to look like fools. We’d both suffered the death of a partner, but we also suffered the shame of what they did—we felt like criminals in a way. When Mia moved back here after her job in San Francisco didn’t work out, we met for coffee once or twice.” Robbie’s voice trailed off. “That’s … how it began.”
Jo averted her gaze from Robbie’s woebegone expression. His fledgling relationship was already based on a foundation of lies, and he was clueless. Mia hadn’t gone to San Francisco to work, she’d gone there to have her dead boyfriend’s baby in secret, the baby who was now sucking peacefully on her pacifier, her cheeks puffing in and out like a miniature blowfish.
“It’s a bit awkward and all, but I’m happy for you,” Liam said.
“What are you talking about?” Jo exclaimed. “It’s completely inappropriate on so many levels.”
Liam shrugged. “I don’t see why. It’s not like Robbie’s old enough to be her father.”
Jo pressed her lips in a tight line of disapproval. “It’s not about their ages. It’s about the circumstances. How do you think the Tomaselli family is going to feel?”
Robbie nodded in agreement. “Mia and I talked about that at length. That’s why we kept our relationship under the radar to begin with. If it wasn’t going to go anywhere, we didn’t want to cause any unnecessary pain. But, as the weeks went by, we came to realize that we care for each other deeply.”
Jo took a calming breath and tried another tactic. “Don’t you think you might be confusing your feelings for her with empathy?”
Robbie shook his head. “I don’t think so. What I feel for Mia is much stronger than that.”
“I still think it would be better for you to date other people,” Jo responded. “This all seems too convenient, maybe you’re just falling into each other’s laps because you share some common history.”
Liam furrowed his brow and gave Jo a subtle shake of his head, but she rolled her eyes at him. “I’m not going to hold back and pretend I’m okay with this, Liam.”
“I understand it’s gonna take some time to get used to the idea,” Robbie said. “I’m just asking you both as my close friends to open up your minds to the possibility that sometimes … sometimes beautiful things come out of life’s tragedies.”
Jo bit back a retort. She couldn’t argue with that. Claire was living proof of it. She squirmed in her seat, her mind racing. Maybe the real
reason she was uncomfortable with the idea of Mia and Robbie getting together was because she was terrified Mia would tell Robbie that Claire was her daughter. But, even if she did, it wasn’t as if she could ask for Claire back. Mia had willingly relinquished her parental rights.
But something about Mia had always disturbed her. She didn’t entirely trust her crooked grin. She reminded her of a cobra that lulled its prey into a sense of complacency, then spat a cocktail of toxins at it in a deadly strike. Jo reached for her glass and took a hasty gulp of wine. She was being hysterical. Maybe she should sleep on the situation and think it through before she said something she might regret.
“Jo?” Robbie prompted.
“Well, it’s a lot to take in,” she said with a resigned sigh, “and I won’t deny that I have my doubts. But at the end of the day, I’ll support you if that’s your decision.”
“I appreciate that,” he replied. “I realize not everyone will be so understanding.”
Jo got to her feet. “How about some cheesecake and coffee?”
“Good idea,” Liam said, a palpable note of relief in his voice. “I’ll clear the table while you serve up dessert. Robbie, you’re on Claire Bear duty.”
Jo and Liam retreated to the kitchen and exchanged an appraising look with one another.
“He’s not thinking straight, you know he isn’t,” Jo whispered. “We have to talk him out of this before it gets out of hand. He could lose his job over this.”
“He’s obviously thought it through and discussed it at length with Mia already,” Liam said, scraping the plates into the garbage disposal. “I don’t think he would have broached the subject with us if he wasn’t committed to the relationship.”