Jensen leaned against the wall, arms over his chest. Warmth filled the room as he watched River and his mother laugh over a bowl of cookie dough. He’d expected this, but seeing them get along still filled him with a surprising amount of pride. As the day stretched, so did River’s smile.
Laughing, she looked back at him. His heart flipped. A beastly growl rumbled within him. It was followed by a surge of hunger. The desire to throw her over his shoulder and carry her upstairs had him pushing off the wall. Jensen caught himself.
While his mother put a pan of cookies into the oven, River approached him with the bowl. She scraped a fingerful of dough from the bowl with her finger and held it up for him. He took her wrist and brought her finger to his mouth. With his tongue, he licked the sugary dough from her fingertip.
River’s lips parted. He heard a sharp intake of breath. The room seemed to shrink down to just them. Nothing else existed as he stared into her eyes.
A sharp rap at the door shattered the moment. River jerked away from Jensen, leaving him emptyhanded. He scowled at the door and promised vengeance upon whoever had decided to interrupt them.
River caught him by the hem of his shirt before he could approach the door, though. He paused and looked back, stunned when he found her nearly shaking. Jensen was about to ask what was wrong, but River beat him to it.
“My mother,” she whispered, so softly he could barely hear it.
He mouthed a curse. Alice shouldn’t have been able to find them here. There was no good reason for her to have been able to track them all the way out to a Barnes household. Travelling by vehicle made tracking scents impossible.
Marjorie held up a hand. She motioned for them to leave the room then went to start a pot of coffee. Jensen wondered what the coffee was for, but he didn’t have time to stick around and find out. He bent and tossed River over his shoulder.
Instead of heading out the back door, his feet led him upstairs. The smell of coffee and cookies rose through the floorboards and filled the air. In that moment, he understood what his mother was up to. The aromas masked River’s scent. Any shifter who entered would be overwhelmed by the smells now drifting through the house.
He carefully set River onto her own feet. She appeared lost for a moment. Her eyes were unfocused. He wondered if she was running over all the ways this could go wrong. To keep her grounded, he took her hand and tugged her to the floor to sit with him. From there, they were out of sight but could still hear Marjorie’s footsteps as she approached the front door.
“To what do I owe this visit?” Marjorie asked.
“Save it,” Alice snapped. Her footsteps pushed past Marjorie and paused. “I know your son has been following my daughter around.”
“All right, invite yourself in. I guess I can’t stop you. Though you look like a vampire, that proves you’re not undead.”
Beside him, River clapped a hand over her mouth. Her brows were high, though he couldn’t tell if she was scared or amused. He had to admit, his mother had a lot of confidence to be able to insult Alice Montoya.
Alice made an unimpressed sound. “It reeks in here. I don’t get why you bother to cook as a shifter. How can you live like this?”
Marjorie laughed. “I’m sorry your life is so sad and empty. Does your family not want to share meals with you? I can’t imagine how lonely that must be.”
River’s eyes widened even further. Jensen had to stifle his own laughter. River squeezed his hand, and his laughter vanished. His core clenched tight. He didn’t understand how this woman he barely knew could switch him on and off like that.
His heart thumped nervously. There was no way he could have known that Alice would show up, but he’d inadvertently dragged River into danger. While her mother would never hurt her, he knew that the fallout would be more than River wanted to deal with if they were caught.
He needed to keep his distance from her from now on. No matter how much he enjoyed her presence, he couldn’t keep dragging her into situations like this. Their friendship would be too risky.
Tucking a lock of loose hair behind her ear, he wished things could have been different. He would have liked to have spent more time with her. Sneaking around would only get her into trouble. He didn’t know what the consequences would be if she were caught, but her fear of them was enough.
I’m sorry, he mouthed.
His beast thrashed beneath his skin. He could feel its claws and teeth, digging into his muscles as if it could tear him apart and break free.
River’s brows came together in confusion. She cocked her head.
“Keep your son away from my daughter,” Alice growled below.
“You should understand that you cannot control your children. No matter how hard you try to lead them in the right direction, they will always know what is best for them.” Marjorie paused for, what Jensen assumed to be, dramatic effect. “I learned that the hard way with my youngest, but now she’s the happiest she’s ever been. Don’t you want your children to be happy?”
Alice muttered something Jensen couldn’t understand.
6
River cursed her awful luck. How had her mother found her here, of all places? River had been enjoying herself. She’d forgotten about their small argument in the truck. His mother was a force of nature, like a blissfully sunny summer day. River couldn’t help but bask in the woman’s warmth.
Here, River had forgotten her worries until they came knocking.
“I’m not a shameful excuse of a mother like you,” Alice said.
River nearly leapt to her feet and ran down the stairs. The shame of that statement stained River’s soul. She could never come back here after that. Every time Marjorie looked at River, the woman would hear Alice’s statement all over again.
“I do not let my children run around and ruin their lives. My daughters know better than to throw away their lives for fleeting emotions.”
Marjorie sighed, but River didn’t hear anger in it. Instead, she heard exhaustion. “I can’t help you. I don’t dictate my children’s lives…anymore.”
Jensen grinned and shook his head at the word his mother added at the end.
How had today come to this? River had always enjoyed little acts of rebellion, but she’d never come as close to getting caught as she had today. Had it not been for the smell of coffee and cookies in the air, her mother would have immediately known that River was present. She would have dragged River out of the house by her ear.
But River wasn’t a child. She didn’t want to be treated as such anymore. This visit made River feel small and ignored all over again. She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.
“I’ll give you a cookie if you would kindly get the fuck out of my house,” Marjorie offered in the sweetest tone.
“Don’t worry. I’ll see myself out.”
River waited for the sound of the door closing and the rev of an engine before she moved. Even then, she didn’t want to get up off the floor. She wanted to shrink and disappear. If she acknowledged Jensen and Marjorie, then she would have to endure the way they would look at her now.
River wasn’t her own person. She’d never been free to become someone. If anything, Alice hoped to copy and paste herself instead of raising two individuals.
Jensen nudged her. “Let’s go eat our weight in cookies now that Alice is gone.”
“No. I should get going. I’ve abused your hospitality too long.” She unwound her arms from around herself and stood.
“I can drive you home. That will give you time to eat your burger and some cookies.”
She pressed her lips into a firm line and shook her head. “I had a really good day, Jensen. I’ll think about it all the time.”
Before he could stop her, she ran for the door. River kept running down the long driveway. Her lungs burned from the cold air. The pump of her heart made her feel alive, though.
River would never have anything for herself. Her mother would always be there to pull the
rug out from under River’s feet. She hoped that Raven and Reece were enjoying themselves while Alice’s attention was on her.
All she wanted to do was turn around and run back to Jensen. The warm home beckoned her. She ached to know what it would feel like to spend a night under a roof with people who genuinely cared about her. She wanted to feel Jensen’s hand in hers again.
That was never going to happen. Her fun was over. If she kept seeing him, then they would get caught, and she didn’t want to get Jensen in trouble.
River shifted and flew home. She would have to land on the roof and crawl through her window, because Jensen’s scent still clung to her clothes. There was no way to hide that if she shifted, dressed, and walked through the front door.
Raven was waiting for her on the roof when she landed. The ability to predict each other’s arrival always surprised River. Though none of them were particularly close, a thread of fate still bound them together. They called it the triplet magic.
“I told Mom that you were clocking overtime at the library,” Raven said.
River swallowed. “And she believed it?”
Raven shrugged. Sitting down next to her sister, River bumped shoulders with her. The night remained silent, as did they. River wanted to tell her sister about everything that had happened, but she didn’t dare speak it where ears could overhear. She didn’t trust Reece not to be a tattletale.
Despite the danger of it all, River wanted to see Jensen again. She feared a life without him now. Who else would make her laugh? Who would show her all the things she’d never noticed before? A life without those things seemed drab.
What if she found the courage to go after what she wanted?
River laughed at herself. Like that would ever happen.
7
River daydreamed while shelving books. Her thoughts turned toward Jensen time and time again. Soon, a dreamy smile reached her lips. She stepped out of the stacks and came to a halt.
Alice Montoya stood in the center aisle.
River had avoided her all morning. She’d thought she’d gotten away with it until now. The way her mother crossed her arms over her chest told her that all she’d done was delay the inevitable.
“You weren’t working last night,” Alice said. “I asked your boss.”
River didn’t dare breathe for fear that she would crumble and out herself. Alice’s glare weighed on her. Her mother waited for an explanation. Each moment of silence stroked Alice’s fury.
Shaking her head, Alice strode forward, grabbed River’s sleeve, and dragged her into the aisle where they were alone. Alice didn’t let go of River when she said:
“You cannot shift and fly by yourself. It is too dangerous.”
“It’s always too dangerous,” River argued.
Alice cut her off. “There’s a war going on right now. What if you got caught between Quincy and Logan? Huh? What if Callum Barnes decides to raze Logan’s house and he crosses your path along the way? What then?”
River inhaled and braced herself. “I’m not going to shatter if someone so much as looks at me.”
She knew she messed up. Alice recoiled, as if River had physically slapped her. Alice cupped her daughter’s face. An unexpected softness overcame the woman that took River aback.
“I don’t know what I would do without you in my life,” Alice whispered.
Guilt churned in River’s gut. She deflated, and an apology reached her lips. She knew that her mother only wanted the best for her, no matter how she went about it. River couldn’t shame her for that.
Could she?
“I won’t do it again,” River mumbled.
She was grateful that her mother hadn’t figured out the truth. River had gone to great lengths to cover her tracks. She’d even done a load of laundry early in the morning in order to wash Jensen’s scent out of her clothing. The aroma of cookies and coffee that had clung to them would have given her away had she not taken the precaution.
But now that Alice knew her daughter had been out and about without supervision, she would make sure that River never went anywhere alone. This had happened before. She always got Reece as a chaperone. He would make for horrible company after being pulled away from his work to babysit his sister.
Then River would never be able to see Jensen again.
Her disappointment weighed more than her guilt. Her beast whimpered and whined, as if someone had told the creature it might never fly again. That’s what losing Jensen felt like to her.
She couldn’t put her finger on the moment it had happened, but Jensen had found his way into her life. Without him, the world would turn gray. She dreaded an even darker world. No book could help her escape from this.
Alice listed every caution River would have to take from now on. It seemed unending, but River nodded along because she had no other choice. Her mind wandered at some point. She imagined Jensen, playing hide and seek among the stacks. She imagined his flirty smile and his easy laughter.
“Are you listening?”
River sucked in a breath, realizing her mistake. She quickly nodded.
Alice didn’t look convinced.
A flicker of movement behind Alice drew River’s attention. Her heart flipped. Alarm flooded her limbs as she watched Jensen wave.
“What is it?” Alice asked as she started to look back.
River wrapped her arms around her mother and pulled her into a tight hug to keep her from seeing him. While River pressed the side of her face into her mother’s, she gestured for Jensen to hide. His eyes went wide when he realized who River had embraced. She watched him mouth a curse, search for an exit, then leap behind a shelf.
Alice pulled back. “What was that all about?”
“I wanted to thank you,” River said, too quickly. “For…for caring about me and wanting to keep me safe. I’m sorry I’ve been careless lately.”
But that seemed to be exactly what Alice wanted to hear because she smiled and touched River’s cheek once again. All of her mother’s misplaced intentions wore away at River, though she couldn’t tell anyone. She had to play the part of the perfect daughter.
River waited for her mother to see herself out, which only happened by the grace of Raven’s well-timed text. River suspected her sister was secretly running interference. She owed her sister a bath bomb and a pint of ice-cream.
With that thought filed away, River searched the aisles for Jensen. She found him peering through the shelves. He jumped like a startled cat. He’d probably planned to surprise her, but she’d gotten the drop on him.
“What are you doing here again?” River snapped.
Jensen’s gaze swept the room behind her, as if he expected Alice to leap out from behind a desk. When he turned his attention back to River, he wore a magnetic smile. He leaned forward.
“I wanted to check in on you. See if you’re okay, and all that.”
She fought the urge to roll her eyes. This man had no sense of self-preservation. Still, he made her smile in ways that no other could. He brazenly adventured where no other would. One look at her mother, and most ran. Jensen, however, kept coming back time and time again.
She rocked back on her heels. “Why me?”
Jensen stared at her. She watched the gears in his head refuse to budge. Her question was lost on him. There had to be another way of phrasing it, but she struggled to put words together while he watched her. Flustered, she pointed at herself, then at him, then gestured to nothing in particular when she realized pantomiming wasn’t going to get her anywhere.
He tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. She stilled, a trail of warmth from his fingertip burning across her temple. Her mouth went dry. A beastly hunger made her core cinch tight.
“I need a friend,” he said. “You need a friend. It seemed like a good combination. I can walk away…if that’s what you want.”
“No!” she shouted. Shrinking back, she said more quietly, “That’s not what I meant.”
She thought he might thi
nk she wanted nothing to do with this. She thought he might walk away. But he didn’t. Jensen gave her that easy smile that softened the tension sitting in her chest. When he was around, the weight of her existence wasn’t such a heavy burden.
He didn’t make her feel as though the world would end if she got a papercut.
River realized that her life was kind of fucked up, but she had no idea how to deal with it. Though she’d tried to show her mother that she could be strong, doubt had taken up space in the back of her mind. No one would hover so much if she were truly strong. Something had to be wrong with her.
River was just waiting for the day that everything would collapse on her. She didn’t know how it would happen. She didn’t know what would fail her first, her beast or her humanity. The feeling of inevitable doom followed her everywhere.
Everywhere except for where Jensen led her.
“What did you come here to talk about?” she asked.
“Hell, if I know. I just wanted to be near you again. You make for good company.”
She shot him a doubtful look.
His jaw dropped in mock offense. “You’re incredibly well read and seem to know just about everything. I can’t help it if I want to come here and ask you about everything.”
She eyed him, even though a smile began to unfurl on her face. “Like what? What did you want to ask me that you couldn’t look up on the internet?”
River turned back to her book cart and went about her business, Jensen hot on her heels. She could feel his presence as sharply as she felt her own. It was as if she were standing in two places at once. The phenomenon startled her and left her with more questions.
“Well, I could ask you why the sky is blue,” Jensen said.
“That has to do with the dispersion of light and how blue light travels easier.” She put a young adult book back onto the shelf. “I mean, there’s more to it, but I don’t know how much of it you would understand.”
A Fate Forbidden (Great Plains Dragon Feud Book 3) Page 5