Covering her mouth, she dropped the book she’d been holding and ran. She shoved through the bathroom door and locked it behind her. With her back to the door, she slid down it and let her tears come.
How had Jensen replaced her so quickly? She’d thought what they had was real. Every time she walked through the center of the library, she saw where they’d made love—because that’s very much what it had been to her.
Apparently, that’s not what Jensen thought. He’d filled her shoes the moment they were empty. She didn’t even have her phone to call him and ask what was going on. Alice had taken it from her like she was a petulant fifteen-year-old and not an adult.
Fire licked the back of River’s throat. She wanted to burn everything to the ground, from her mother’s carefully curated life to Jensen’s truck. Anger gurgled inside her and added fuel to the flames. She swallowed the fire back and let her head fall against the door.
Someone on the other side knocked, startling River. A small voice asked if she would be done soon. It was a public restroom, after all. River leapt to her feet and wiped her tears away with the back of her hand. The fire in her throat still burned her stomach.
River stepped back out into the world. Thankfully, the kid rushed into the bathroom and paid no attention to River’s tearstained face.
Perhaps…River hated entertaining the thought, but her mother might have been right. Jensen had put in a lot of work to seduce her. She could applaud him for that. It had clearly been a ploy, though. He never felt the same about her. He’d simply wanted to fuck.
She couldn’t believe she’d been so naïve. Her heart cracked. Somewhere, deep inside, her beast snarled at her thoughts. She ignored the tempestuous creature. It hadn’t yet accepted the truth. River wouldn’t be used like that. She wasn’t going to let Jensen hurt her like that ever again.
At the check-out desk, she knelt and reached into her purse for her compact mirror and a tube of lipstick. She found a bundle of paper she didn’t remember putting in there and pulled it out. She hadn’t thought to check her purse that morning, since she hadn’t opened the library, so she’d missed the pink notes.
Jensen must have stuck them into her bag at some point. She stared at them and the heart-felt confessions she’d written just for him. Her chest ached. She pressed the heel of her palm to the pain, but it wouldn’t go away.
Unable to bear the heartache, she tossed the notes in the nearby trash bin. Guilt weighed heavy on her shoulders, but what else was she supposed to do? She couldn’t hold onto proof that their relationship had been one-sided. The thought made her hands tremble.
Shaking as she was, River didn’t bother with the lipstick. She cleaned up her mascara and tossed her mirror back into her purse. A co-worker passed by and gave River an inquisitive look. To avoid talking about her problems, she pulled a tampon out of her purse and waved it. Her co-worker nodded and went back to her job.
River never should have fallen for him. She pinched the bridge of her nose and stood. When she opened her eyes, she noticed him standing outside the glass doors again. Her beast urged her towards him, but River spun on her heel and marched into the stacks. She wasn’t about to entertain any of his petty excuses.
She heard the door open and footsteps rush after her. Familiar with all the ins and outs of the library, River easily lost him. Now wasn’t the time. She didn’t want to have another break-down in the middle of work.
But Jensen caught up to her. Hand on her shoulder, she spun her around and forced her to face him. River averted her gaze. She couldn’t look him in the eye.
“You saw Elise. Didn’t you?”
River pressed her lips into a firm line. She didn’t have anything to say to him.
He threw his hands in the air. “Elise means nothing to me!”
Another crack split her heart in half. She couldn’t believe he had replaced her with someone he apparently cared so little for. It would have been different had he found his mate in this woman. Maybe then River could have understood.
But no. This woman, Elise, was only a placeholder to him. River had misunderstood Jensen entirely.
“I have to get back to work.” River took a step back before spinning on her heel and running away.
Jensen called out to her, but she didn’t stop for even a moment. What was the point? There was nothing he could say to fix this situation. They’d moved their relationship into something more than friends, and it had been the biggest mistake.
River might have been jealous of Elise had nothing happened the other night. If River and Jensen hadn’t fucked in the middle of the library, where River had to be reminded every day she came to work, then maybe this could have been easier.
Today, River couldn’t handle it. Her mind swam with cruel thoughts that she could not escape. She ducked out the back door and kept walking. Later, she would get in trouble for leaving work early, but that didn’t matter to her in the moment. She kept walking until she reached the edge of town.
Further and further she went until she could let her beast out. The creature didn’t feel like playing though. Her tail lashed at the trees around her. Fire sparked across her tongue. If she wasn’t careful, she would burn acres to the ground.
River had always been careful and compliant. She was done with that. Nothing good had ever come from it. She let the fire spill from her maw.
14
Jensen knew he’d fucked up.
He hadn’t done it on purpose, but he’d messed up all the same. Footsteps approached behind him. A chill ran up his spine. He expected to find Alice Montoya behind him, but it was only Elise. She had a hand on one hip. In her other hand was the fancy coffee she’d forced him to buy.
He wanted to dump it over her head. But this wasn’t entirely Elise’s fault. Had Jensen not parked down the street and walked past the library with another woman in tow, then this misunderstanding could have been avoided. It didn’t help that Elise had been very handsy.
“What are you doing in here?” she asked.
“You know you can’t have food or drinks in a library, right?” He nodded toward the coffee in her hand.
Elise sneered. “Like I’m going to throw out a perfectly good drink over a bunch of bitchy nerds.”
Jensen swallowed his ire. There wasn’t a trashcan big enough in all the library to fit Elise. Perhaps he could find a proper one out on the street.
“If you don’t shape up, I’m going to drop you off at the Montoya estate. You can annoy the shit out of them while I tell Mom you stood us up.” Jensen pushed past Elise.
He didn’t wait to see if she would follow. As badly as he wanted to be free of this toxic and entitled woman, he was also excited to watch his mother put her in her place. Marjorie Barnes was not going to take shit from this girl.
Elise caught up to him sooner rather than later. Though he wanted to watch his mother deal with Elise, he dropped the woman off and left. He couldn’t sit still. His beast had grown restless. It begged him to go back and find River again. He owed her an apology.
But River was nowhere to be found by the time he’d returned. He asked all her co-workers, and they all claimed she had vanished. Her scent hung in the air, but it was so faint and on almost everything. He couldn’t even find a trail to follow.
Defeated, he stepped back outside. Where would River have gone? He didn’t know her well enough to know where she liked to hide. Her siblings wouldn’t want to help him, either. Reece would likely rip his head off. Raven…she was even more elusive than River.
Jensen was alone. He didn’t know where to turn or how to salvage this, no matter how badly he wanted to. His only option was to wait for her to come to him. It seemed like that might never happen.
River couldn’t go home. Not yet. She did not want to see her mother and face the truth that the bitter matron had been right all along. Instead, River went to Logan’s.
Feeling awkward and out of place, she knocked on the front door. The door flew open almost immediately
. Baylee bounced on her heels. A big smile lit up her face. She grabbed River by the arm and dragged her inside without hesitation.
“We’re setting up the Christmas tree!” Baylee exclaimed.
River blinked, taking in the sprinkling of pine needles that led to a tree in the corner of the room like a blood trail. The tree wasn’t in a base; it stood against the wall as if someone had thrown it there in frustration before storming off.
“It seems like it’s going well,” River said quietly.
Baylee bit her lower lip and shook her head. “Everyone is being a bit grumpy today. Logan chopped the tree and brought it in, but the moment I asked for more help, he vanished. Gale got mad at him and took off, too. So, when I say we’re putting up the Christmas tree, I mean I am.”
River shrugged. “I don’t mind helping.”
“Could you? That would be great!”
River spent the rest of her evening unpacking boxes of new Christmas decorations with Baylee. They found the tree stand and worked together to get it screwed in tight so that it wouldn’t fall over.
When River pulled an old box closer, she noticed handmade ornaments. They were simple, ornament shaped pieces of wood that had been painted with craft acrylics. Each one had different handwriting. She pulled out one with feminine handwriting.
Start a family.
River paused and turned toward Baylee. The other dragon shifter was in the middle of stringing lights around the still-tilted tree. As Baylee made her way around, she saw River’s face and stopped. Baylee’s gaze dropped to the box on the table.
Her face lit up. She forgot the lights and bounced over to where River stood. Gently placing a finger on the ornament that River held, she said, “That one is mine.”
“What are they?” River flipped it over, curious. There was a photo of Baylee kissing Gale on the other side.
“Christmas wishes.” Baylee dug through the box and came out with a green ornament. She plucked the one from River’s hands and replaced it with the green one.
River stared at it for a long moment. The handwriting was messy and definitely masculine. It said:
I want to get lost in a River.
She flipped it over, not sure what she was expecting. Someone had drawn a book on the other side. Though the image was simple, she immediately knew what it meant. Tears burned her eyes again.
River dumped it back into the box and walked away. She wished she’d never seen it. Clearly, this Christmas wish had already come to pass. He’d gotten what he’d wanted and moved on to his next wish. She never knew that wishes could mean so little to anyone.
“I invited him over last night to work on these with the rest of us, but it’s so hard to get Jensen to visit. I dropped it off at Mom’s house last night instead. I kind of expected it to be unfinished when I got there to pick it up this morning.” Baylee paused, perhaps for dramatic effect. “That’s what I found when I got there.”
River couldn’t fathom how Jensen could have written that the night before. He’d turned around and taken another woman out. How did that make any sense? Had her mother paid his house another visit? That wasn’t it, because River hadn’t been able to shake her mother for more than a few minutes at a time over the past twenty-four hours.
Alice could have stopped by Jensen’s house after River had left work, but no sooner. And definitely not before he’d taken the blonde out.
“Do you…” River hesitated, feeling like maybe she was overthinking this. She swallowed and continued. “Do you have any blonde cousins?”
Baylee didn’t answer right away. “Well, only Teagan. She doesn’t really spend a whole lot of time with any of us, though. Why are you asking?”
The woman could have been this Teagan, but River doubted it. If Baylee said that Teagan rarely hung out with her family, then it seemed unlikely that was Teagan she’d seen earlier.
Baylee must have sensed the tension rippling over River because she said, “I’ve never seen my brother happier.”
River turned around. She raised an unconvinced eyebrow. Baylee, ever mischievous, donned a sly grin. She gestured to River.
“I think he makes you pretty happy, too. You don’t look like you’re trying to hide in your clothing anymore. Your hair doesn’t look like it’s wound so tight that it hurts, either.”
River touched her hair. She’d left it down again because she barely had time to do it with her mother on her heels all morning. At least, that’s what she told herself. She looked down at her outfit. She’d worn a pair of skinny jeans instead of her usual skirt. The front of her oversized sweater was tucked into the waistband of her jeans because she’d seen it online and assumed that was how pretty women dressed these days.
“Jensen has really brought you out of your shell,” Baylee said.
River shrugged. That didn’t matter anymore. If Jensen didn’t actually want her, then everything he’d done for her meant nothing. She couldn’t let the actions of an unlovable man empower her. It didn’t work like that.
“My mom says that your family is trying to rip us all apart again,” River said because she felt something sharp in her chest and wanted to share it.
Baylee didn’t flinch, though. She rolled her eyes. “Your mom says a lot of untrue shit. Everyone says I’m up to no good. She’s the real trouble-maker.”
River found herself laughing. The sharp feeling in her chest faded little by little. They trash talked River’s mother for a little while, and the feeling vanished altogether. The venom that had been tainting River’s blood slowly cleared. She never knew that venting about her mother could feel so good.
She’d tried to be a good daughter. She tried to be the kind of daughter that Alice wanted. Alice’s mold had never been the right fit for any of her kids. Over and over, Alice tried to shove them into these molds, and all she’d ever managed to do was hurt them.
“I’m going to throw a bag of chicken nuggets into the oven,” Baylee said. “You should stick around and split them with me. I have all the dipping sauces you could ever want.”
The tree had come together. It twinkled with multi-colored lights that glinted off a rainbow assortment of small ornaments. The handmade ornaments stood out, each twisting back and forth between wish and photo. River tapped Jensen’s and wished that she could have kept him.
“I should leave,” River said.
“Oh, come on! It’s not like my brother is going to show up. He never visits.”
She sighed. She didn’t see her sister often because they were often trying to distract their mother for one another. Reece saw himself as better than his sisters and was never around. Her own cousins didn’t ask her to hang out. Though River loved to spend time with her cousin, Bryce, she might as well have been a local cryptid with how often anyone saw her after her parents’ ugly divorce.
The allure of a close female friendship kept her rooted to the spot. Baylee took that as a yes and ran into the kitchen. River could hear the soft beeps of the oven interface as Baylee set it to preheat.
“Do you like honey mustard or sweet and sour sauce?”
River followed Baylee into the kitchen. She paused, seeing another ornament on the table. It had been painted red. A marker sat next to it, waiting for whoever wanted to write their wish.
Baylee peeked her head over the fridge door. “I made that one for you! I told Jensen to bring you over, but he told me that he didn’t know when he’d be able to see you again. I assumed that meant your mother had caught the two of you.”
“You have no idea how right you are.”
“For real?” Baylee was far too excited. “What did big bad Alice do?”
River opened her mouth to explain, then remembered seeing Jensen with another woman. Her words died on her tongue. She dropped into the kitchen chair and let her head fall back. Staring forlornly at the ceiling, River couldn’t figure out what to do.
She didn’t have any answers. Her heart and her beast demanded exactly what she couldn’t have. The beast trie
d to tell her that Jensen hadn’t betrayed her. The beast didn’t know what it was talking about. It wanted what she couldn’t have, which wasn’t really all that new.
River was used to not getting her way, but this hurt more than usual.
The front door slammed open. River expected Gale or Logan, but the voice that followed belonged to neither.
“Mom had this bitch flown all the way to Nebraska, but I’m going to send her to the moon if she tries to tell me what to do one more time!”
River shot a look at Baylee. The younger Barnes woman had the grace to look ashamed. She must have asked her brother to come over through a text at some point. River had been looking forward to the chicken nuggets, but before Jensen even made it to the kitchen, she rushed out the back door.
“Is that River that I smell?” she heard him ask. “Hold up! Come back so I can explain.”
River didn’t slow down. She stomped down a driveway toward a house set back behind Logan’s. She assumed it was Cash’s new house. River had no intention of going inside. It was a destination she could set her sights on because if she looked back at Jensen, she knew she would fall apart.
“River,” Jensen called out.
A truck rumbled towards them. It stopped in front of Logan’s house. River could hear Gale, Logan, and Cash. Their voices rose into shouts. River spun around just in time to see Quincy’s big yellow body drop onto the ground between her and Logan’s house.
Jensen ran to her and planted himself in between them.
“What awful timing,” he muttered.
No, that wasn’t awful timing. River knew what had happened. After Alice had caught River and Jensen’s scent in the library, she must have tracked her daughter down. Alice knew that River was hiding at Logan’s. Instead of coming to cause a scene, Alice had called Quincy and provoked him into starting a fight.
River could never escape. She couldn’t get away from her mother. No matter what she did, Alice manipulated every part of River’s life. If River defied her, then Alice made sure that River paid the price.
A Fate Forbidden (Great Plains Dragon Feud Book 3) Page 10