by V L Friends
I was defenseless when he was this way. It took a lot for him to get drunk but the combination of his temper and alcohol all too easily disconnected him from his human side. He used to be one of the most ruthless walkers there was. This was when I got to see another side to him, the side that hated me for who I truly represented. The light in me.
“I was with Caleb. He’s alive,” I whispered back, not looking at him, but I watched him carefully in my peripherals.
Julian breathed a sigh of relief and suddenly seemed sober when he said, “That is a relief to hear that he is alive and well.” Julian nodded then stilled again. “Love, don’t ever do that to me again. Look at me! I want to see your eyes when you promise.” His voice was hoarse and I stopped on the steps and turned to look at him. Our eyes met. I wondered if he saw the disdain in my eyes.
“Okay, fine. I promise!” I said, caving to his will so I could get away. Something was up with him. It was like he was going insane. What the hell was up with this constant Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personality switch? It was like every time he showed the loving father image he had to resort back to the monster soon after.
When I got to my room I was still shaking. Is this how it would always be with Julian?
It didn’t take Julian long to follow me upstairs. When I came out of my bathroom, after my shower, my bedroom door was propped open and Julian was lounging just outside leaning against the door jam, arms folded, his signature stance. I guess he thought he was giving me privacy, never mind that I left the door shut and locked. Oh well, at least he didn’t just appear in my bathroom while I was in the shower. I imagine to him he was honoring my privacy request.
Julian was tossing an apple in the air and casually catching it. How strange that he seemed to be completely sober now. He must have been drinking all night. It takes great effort for a walker to even get drunk, much less stay that way for very long.
“I figured you would like some breakfast,” Julian said, nodding to the apple.
“How thoughtful of you.” My tone was snarky. I was still upset, of course. I didn’t look at Julian but instead began pulling some clothes out from my dresser.
“Are we really going to play this game, love?” Julian asked.
I slammed my dresser and spun to face him.
“You know you have some nerve, Mr. High and Mighty. You are a bully when you’re drunk and I think you enjoy it!” I accused with a glare.
“Is that so?” Julian cocked his head.
“What the hell has gotten into you, Julian?” I yelled.
“Well, excuse me, dear, but I get a little pissy when I am disobeyed.” He folded his arms across his chest and tensed his jaw.
“That was more than pissy; that was terrifying!” I said.
“That was nothing compared to what it could have been and you know it.”
I froze.
“You mean to tell me you would willfully inflict me harm over one little incident?” I shot him a look of shock.
“All I am saying is that you know that I am capable of violence and I ask you not to push me. When I was a general, I punished men much worse for doing much less,” he said.
“Ah, well, I see,” I said, suddenly just wanting away from this brute of a man.
“See what?” he demanded.
“That you are mean and like it. I thought you were changing and the fact is every time we get close, you just try to counter it with some of your same old nasty nature. I think you secretly want to remain alone and hated.”
“Is that right?”
“Uh huh,” I sighed, resigning myself to ending this conversation. “Look, Julian, I didn’t set out trying to piss you off; I just needed to see Caleb. Can you just get over it and leave me alone? I don’t want to do this… whatever this is with you.”
“Sure, I will drop it. Just know that the next time you disobey a serious order from me, I will take you over my knee. I won’t waste time talking to you.” With that he turned to leave but stopped at the door.
“What did Caleb have to say?” he asked, looking back at me.
“You might as well know. Caleb became a Christian and is no longer a walker,” I said.
“What?!” Julian snarled.
“It is what he wanted,” I said.
“This is your doing! What right do you have to do such a thing?!” He was yelling and pointing his sword at me.
“He wanted this! You know he never felt right with being a walker.” I was pleading with Julian to see the truth about the situation.
“You had no right to take him from me like that!” His eyes were starting to water… he was in pain.
“I know it hurt and you feel like you lost your brother but think about it, Jules, we can still be family. It doesn’t change the way we feel about you!” I said.
“Eventually you both will die and I will be alone!” Julian said.
“You don’t have to be alone. Sure, we will die eventually and live in heaven for eternity but it doesn’t have to be like that. You may decide to join us.” I knew I had said the wrong thing as soon as I heard it from my mouth.
“Join you! That is not where I belong. This is my domain! Let me ask you something,” he said, still pacing. “Was this the plan from the beginning? Was this the entire reason you came here to find me and Caleb? Did you have this all planned out to make us fall in love with you and then slowly lure us into your realm? Do you even really love at all or is it all to get what you want?”
“Please stop this before you talk yourself into hating me again. I love you and, yes, I admit I would love you to leave all the darkness behind, but that is not a requirement for me to love you. I am asking you to please stop this! Caleb made the choice without me. I know that you hate what I represent and there is a constant battle within you, but I have to believe that love will win.”
“Ya, know… Louis warned me about you doing this!” Julian said, not seeming to be affected about my words at all.
“Are you not listening to me? Wait, what do you mean Louis told you?... Since when are you talking to Louis? Julian… Are you still working with Louis?”
He had that look like he had just revealed something he didn’t mean to reveal. “Never mind.”
“Here is what is going to happen now… you are going away. You are going with Sebastian to Brazil and that is final. You don’t know how to listen and you are forever going to be getting under my skin. I don’t care where Caleb goes. As far as I am concerned he can go with you.”
He was now walking towards the stairs.
“Isn’t that making the assumption that you are in charge of me?” I knew deep down that this was not a good idea to provoke him, but I felt an inward possible betrayal and I wanted to find out for sure what was going on. “You are not. If you want me to leave, so be it, but you will not dictate where I am to go. Also, might I remind you that Caleb is still the owner of this estate, so it should actually be him that tells me to leave? If you want us to separate from you, it is you that should leave!” I stated with confidence and I was sure it would earn me more trouble. I was already losing him, so what the heck, I figured.
He whirled around and reacted too fast. He was a blur and was back in front of me, his finger pointing just an inch from my face.
“Don’t tell me you are stupid enough to challenge my authority,” he growled. “I am the one that can snap both your necks now, so I have the upper hand!” He was coming at me but I was determined to keep my distance so I made sure there was always something between us.
“Do you not love me anymore? Are you saying that you are making a choice between your own family and now siding with darkness? Tell me! Are you with Louis? Tell me now so I can get more of the heartbreak over and move on with life!!” I was yelling at him and forcing him to come clean. This was perhaps a mistake on my part but emotions were high and I was determined to find out what he was up to.
“Shut up!” Julian growled again but must have noticed my tears and trembling because he
suddenly stepped back and ran his hand through his hair. He noticed that I was startled and decided not to come any further. We sat there in silence and I decided I dare not speak. He just paced and I waited. I could see he was slowly gaining control of himself. He let out a deep sigh before facing me again.
“Of course I love you!” His eyes showed the pain as he now spoke calmly and quietly. Why do you think this is killing me so much? Can’t you see what this is doing to me?” I did meet with Louis last night to talk about you. He told me that there is a battle on the horizon and I will need to choose a side. It really got me thinking about where I belong. Anaya, I can’t deny it. Louis and I are of the same kind.”
“No… no. Don’t say that.” My heart could not handle one more loss. Tears were forming.
His demeanor suddenly was changing again. There was a long pause and he just looked off into space and slowly sank to his knees. I wanted to go to him but I was frozen. He was under so much conflict deep inside. I was seeing my father’s life and who he was truly for the first time. He had indulged himself in the world of a walker so well and so thoroughly for so long that it was his identity. He was one of the most feared and respected walkers among his people for over a hundred years and now, because of me, he was at war with himself. Could it be possible that he both loved me and hated me more than anyone else in the universe? There was nothing I could do for him to take away the pain except continue to love him with the same love God had taught me.
Tears were flowing down my cheeks. “Please, Julian, please don’t give up.”
“I don’t know what to do with you.” He got to his feet but still looked defeated. “You just better go.” He turned away.
He was gone in a flash. One minute he was looking defeated on the floor and the next he was a blur and then gone.
Shane was on time picking me up.
“You seem awfully quiet today.” He nudged me as we walked to his car.
“A lot has happened.” I was suddenly distracted by a taxi cab pulling up.
I had been so preoccupied that I forgot he was leaving today. I had not even seen him all day.
“I am sorry, Shane, I need to go say goodbye to Sebastian.”
“Sure, take your time,” he said, leaning back on his car.
When I went back inside, I saw some familiar suitcases sitting near the front door. They were mine, in fact.
“I think he has finally gone mad!” said Sebastian, coming down the stairs. He was looking from me to the upstairs and chuckling. “Do you know what’s going on?”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Julian has been frantically packing your things for the last hour. He keeps mumbling to himself… I can’t understand what he is saying. What is going on between you two? He says you are coming with me?”
I had been in the stables for the last hour giving Chester a rubdown and cleaning the stalls, so I had no idea what Julian was up to.
“It’s nothing; he is just mad because I went off to see Caleb last night by myself.” I gave Sebastian a reassuring smile.
“Are you sure that’s all?” asked Sebastian.
“Well, not exactly. It is a little more complicated than that but don’t worry. I may be coming to visit sooner than we expected but… I am not coming with you now.”
“That’s a shame,” he said, smiling. “Are you sure you and Jules are going to be okay?”
I nodded.
“You will call me at least twice a week, right?” he asked.
Again I nodded.
“Well, I guess this is goodbye then. Do consider my proposal, Anaya.”
He stood there, towering over me and looking down at me, holding both my hands in his.
“I will.” I could not stand to look him in the eye. My heart was pounding. I hated seeing him leave.
He gently pulled my chin up so I was now looking him in the eyes. His lips were soft against mine. Just then I heard a voice behind me.
“Well, this is a surprise,” Shane said.
I jumped. “Shane, I thought you were waiting by the car.”
“I just wanted to say goodbye to Sebastian here,” Shane said, extending a hand to Sebastian.
“Take care.” Shane turned abruptly and walked away, with a bewildered glance back at us.
“I take it you haven’t told him about us?” Sebastian was laughing softly. “I need to go now if I am going to make my flight,” he said, pulling me close.
We were now standing with our foreheads touching. I was memorizing what it was like to be close to him and his scent.
Shane was questioning immediately. “How long has this been going on? Did you think that this is something I might need to know?”
“He asked me to marry him when I was in Brazil. I thought he was just asking to get Louis off my trail, so I didn’t bother mentioning it. I just found out last night that he has deep feelings for me. I was planning to tell you today.”
“And what do you feel for him? Did you agree to marry him?” Shane looked stern.
“Honestly, I don’t know if it is the right time to marry him. I can’t explain it but I feel all kinds of feelings. My heart starts pounding faster when he is anywhere near and I can’t stand it when he is gone. I just can’t escape the fact that he is still a walker though.”
“I see. What does Julian say about this?” asked Shane.
“I think at this point Julian is ready to sell me off to the highest bidder… He doesn’t much care who I go to or where, as long as it’s far from him.” Darn it, I was starting to tear up again.
“That’s harsh.” He pulled over the side of the road to look at me. “What happened?”
“I don’t really want to talk about it. Just know that things are bad again and I may be homeless soon.”
“I am sorry.” He held out his arm for a hug. “Come here... you should come live with me. There is no need for you to go back there. I will have someone pick up your things.”
I couldn’t help but feel that Shane was all too happy for me to leave the Alexander mansion.
“Julian has two suitcases already packed and by the door ready for pickup,” I volunteered as I scooted close to him.
“Can Caleb come stay as well? Did you know that he is alive and with the Amish… and he is a Christian now?”
“I did know. I think Caleb should go reclaim his land and estate as soon as possible,” Shane suggested.
“Yeah, that would probably be a good idea. I should go with him.”
“You never mind that… I will go with him,” Shane said.
“Actually, I should say goodbye to Jules too,” I said.
Shane turned to me and looked very serious. “I don’t think you are safe with him anymore, Anaya. I let it go on this long because, well, he was more devoted to you and there was a sign that he may see things differently but… well...”
“Well what?!” I insisted.
“There have been some new developments. Things are heating up in the spirit realm and, well, he may need to make a decision on who he is going to serve much sooner.” I have to tell you the truth, Anaya, and I know you are strong enough to handle it. He is in the valley of decision. Julian has a choice to make and if he is forced to choose now… well… he may not choose you. He may not choose light over darkness.”
“How will I ever bear that if that happens?” I said, not able to give my angel eye contact. “I love him, Shane.”
“You will have to let him go.”
“I don’t know how.”
Shane continued. “Julian is a weapon that Louis and his dark army are trying to use against us in more ways than one. Louis is planning and scheming and I am afraid Julian is his ticket inside. Louis wants you. He has wicked plans for you to show his force and he wants everyone to fear him. The part we cannot ignore and we must be aware of, is this dark army is now realizing they are losing, so they are desperate. Thousands of walkers are coming to the light. They have demons, witches, and walkers uniting but, eve
n then, they are outnumbered. There are more for us than against us, so their only defense now is the element of surprise and deception. The power and authority and gifts you carry have made you a leader in this revival, so you are a target. You saw just how sneaky and devious they are with Leland. Leland studied you and knows your weaknesses. Julian is one of your weaknesses. Do understand that you must be prepared to lose him?”
“If there is anything I learned from the whole thing with Leland, it is just how cunning the darkness can be… so, yes, I understand you. You must understand something about me, however: I would give my life for Julian’s.”