by Kat T. Masen
“Do you guys realize it’s only five o’clock?” I remind them.
“Yes.” Charlie smiles. “Go put your PJs on.”
“Uh… why?”
“Because when girls have their hearts broken, this is how we recover. Now go get changed and be back here in ten minutes.”
I laugh loudly, watching the two of them stare at me like a pack of angry wolves. I shake my head repeatedly while making my way upstairs. I decide to wear my gray sweats and a white tank since it’s almost identical to Kate. I don’t own pajamas with fluffy bunnies on them like Charlie, thank fucking God.
As I step closer down the stairs, the aroma of pizza lingers in the air. I didn’t have much of an appetite today, stopping only for coffee and a pack of mints. But I sure feel hungry now.
“We’re eating pizza. Is that it?” I ask both of them.
“No, silly,” Kate scolds playfully. “That’s just the first course.”
Charlie stands in front of the television. “Okay… do we watch The Notebook or Titanic?”
Should I mention that both movies sound awful? Why on earth would they want to watch such depressing shit?
“Go… The Notebook,” Kate suggests. “And remember the rule… no talking.”
Charlie smiles, clicking the remote and locate the movie on the hard drive. She dims the lights in the theater as I plonk myself next to Kate. She’s holding a box of tissues, then grabs a slice of pizza as the movie begins.
“Hey,” I whisper, leaning over to Kate. “You wanted to talk?”
“It’s not important, Noah.” There’s an uncertainty to her voice, but she’s quick to smile. “Not anymore.”
Thirty minutes into the movie, I’ve lost interest.
“So, why is this helping us right now?” I complain.
“Because it’s one of the greatest love stories. It’ll make you smile, laugh, and cry all at the same time,” Charlie responds with a waver in her voice.
I’ve devoured a whole pizza when the movie becomes interesting. Okay, the female lead is fucking gorgeous, and the story becomes somewhat sad. Somewhere during the middle, it all begins to make sense, and the girls beside me have their tissues scrunched up in their hands with tears streaming down their faces. I’m not sure why. Sure, it’s sad, but nothing that depressing.
And then, the old lady screams at her husband, and the realness of the situation leaves an empty pit in my stomach. Charlie and Kate are a mess. I swallow the lump in my throat—it’s actually quite sad.
Charlie pauses the movie and tells us she’ll be back in a few minutes. She returns with three tubs of ice cream. I pick the strawberry, and she presses play again as we all eat out of the cartons.
The end of the movie is almost near, and I seriously can’t take it anymore. It’s so sad and depressing, I finish the carton of ice cream, and I’m not any closer to feeling better about myself.
Kate’s leaning on my shoulder for support.
“If you and I fall in love, will you visit me every day and tell me stories?” Kate asks between sobs.
“Sure,” I humor her. “Do we need to fall in love? What if this Rachel McAdams is single? You know I’m not one to settle.”
Kate pulls back. “Three words for you… Lesbian. Anal. Fisting.”
I shake my head while grinning, pulling Kate into me as I kiss her cheek to annoy her. She wipes her face, complaining I left ice-cream on her skin.
Charlie scowls, not getting the joke. “Honestly, the two of you are terrible… two peas in a pod. Maybe it’s not such a bad idea that you guys fall in love. Then I’d stop hearing about your tragic love lives…” She pauses, then continues with a mouthful of ice cream. “And I don’t want to know why you’re talking about lesbian anal fisting. Is that even a thing? My ass wants to die thinking about that.”
Lex walks into the room wearing a suit. He’s just come home from a work dinner celebrating someone’s retirement.
“Oh no, they got to you, didn’t they?”
Charlie runs up to Lex and gives him a great big hug, crying into his shoulder and telling him that if she ever lost her memory, she’d want him to read to her every day about their lives and the girls. He indulges the hug but rolls his eyes at the same time. Lex sits down, and Charlie curls on top of him, trying to get comfortable with her protruding stomach.
“Thanks, you guys. You know what’s more depressing than this movie? Seeing you guys all lovey-dovey,” Kate says, slumped in the chair.
“Aw, come here.” I grin, pulling her onto my lap, goading her because I can. “I’ll make you a deal, if we’re single when we’re thirty, we’ll officially hook up.”
“I’m already thirty, you nob.” She punches my arm, sliding herself off me. “And I know you too well. You try to charm me that way, and the next minute, you’re gabbing on about anal fisting again.”
Lex watches us, amused. “Should we leave you two alone?”
“No,” Kate jokes. “Please don’t. Noah just likes to push my buttons because he knows he can.”
“It’s very true,” I voice with a sinister smirk.
Lex grins at us, followed by a small chuckle. “I’m all for a good time, but please, for the love of God, please stop talking about anal fisting.”
The four of us laugh until we’re out of breath, just when Lex gets a call from his London office. Kate joins him in his office, leaving Charlie and me alone. She suggests we go outside to get some fresh air while the other two discuss work.
“Noah,” Charlie says my name softly, sitting beside me on the chair on the patio. I don’t want to talk to anyone, wallowing in self-pity seems much more fitting. And I know she wants to talk about Morgan, again.
“Charlie, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay, we can talk about something else,” she suggests. “Do you remember your last summer back home before you moved to the East Coast?”
“Uh… I think so.”
“You were thirteen and had just gone through this massive growth spurt.”
“Oh yeah, a year of awkward growing.” I chuckle lightly.
“So that summer, all the girls in your year were talking about you. How Noah Mason was the hottest thing to happen that summer and they were fighting about dating you. There was this one girl, Georgia, I think.”
“Head of the cheer squad, Georgia?”
“Yes… I think. She was two years older than you. She was at the local store one day, and I overheard her telling her posse that she wanted to date you because you were the hottest thing ever,” she exaggerates. “I knew she was a skank, and I was furious when I heard that. I actually went up to her and told her that if she went near you or hurt you, I’d punch her in the vagina.”
“Charlie.” I laugh. “You didn’t? She was the hottest chick back then.”
“You’re my family, the brother I never had. I didn’t want anyone hurting you. And now is no different.”
“Now we’re adults, I should be able to take care of myself,” I remind her.
“I’m struggling here, Noah. I know you have feelings for her, but she’s married. It’s a big deal… the whole marriage thing. I’m not going to pretend to understand how she feels because every situation is different. I just know this… I hate the fact that she hurt you.”
“She’s separated, supposedly.” Even when I’m trying to defend Morgan, it comes out wrong.
“But don’t you think she owes it to her marriage to make it work before running off with someone else? Marriage is hard work.”
“I don’t know, Charlie. I’m so angry. She told me she has issues with the kid. Apparently, it’s her stepson, and he’s special or something. I just don’t know. I was so angry and not really comprehending or listening to what she was telling me.”
A gust of wind sweeps through the patio, warm and calming my anxious nerves. The view from the back of the house is stunning, stretching into the darkness of the mountains. It’s quite serene, and I understand now why Charlie and Lex love this propert
y even though it’s a fair distance into town.
“Kids can be finicky,” she informs me. “If her stepson has special needs, then I can understand that a marriage breakdown could be difficult for her family. Again, I don’t know her circumstances. Why don’t you try to sit down with her and discuss it more openly?”
“Because I’m too angry, Charlie. I don’t understand why she can’t just walk away. It’s not even her son.”
“Well, Lex and Haden think that your problem would be better solved by some girl-on-girl mud wrestling.”
I laugh again. The boys know me well, though I play coy. “I’m not sure it’s exactly what I want to see right now.”
“That’s what I said, but what do I know?” she voices with frustration.
I rest my head on her shoulder, thankful that at times like this, I have family around. Even though Charlie and I have drifted apart over the years, she was and always will be my older cousin, the girl who can take anyone down.
The back door opens, and Lex is dressed in his jeans and a black polo shirt followed by Kate behind him. “So, boys’ night out?” he asks, hopeful.
“I think you need to take him out,” Charlie agrees with a smile.
“Wait, is my wife actually agreeing with me?”
“Show him some tits and ass. He needs to get his mind off things.”
Lex looks stunned, and Charlie brushes it off like it’s nothing. But she’s a woman, and I know her feminist side is rocking itself in the corner, demanding him not to go.
“I think I have the best wife in the world,” he says, gushing, wrapping his arms around her waist and planting a kiss on her neck.
Charlie smiles happily as if nothing else in the world matters. “Just take care of him like he’s my brother,” she tells Lex before winking back at me and walking inside the house.
Kate is still standing on the porch, watching me with a mixed expression.
“What do you think?” I ask, waiting for her incessant rant on women being objects to men. “You think I’ll survive a boys’ night out?”
“I think you’re going to be just fine, Noah,” she reassures me with her easing smile. “Just fine.”
***
“Fuck, look at her ass,” Haden comments. He has a tub of popcorn and a beer, watching the wrestling like a crazed fan.
The two ladies are wrestling it out, drenched in mud, wearing the smallest of bikinis. The one with the big ass—Haden’s favorite—has fallen to her knees, exposing a very muddy crack.
“Damn!” he yells out, much to Lex’s and my amusement.
“I’ve never really decided whether I’m an ass or tits man. It’s been confirmed, I’m an ass man,” I yell over the noise.
“I’ve always been an ass man,” Lex follows, drinking his beer.
“Nope, you’re not allowed to talk about anything ass-related because somewhere in your brain, it leads to Charlie, and my brain senses those vibes, and everything about that image is very wrong.”
“Is it wrong that I desire your cousin?” he asks, taking a dig at me.
“Desire sounds dirty and old-man like.”
Lex hides his growing smirk. “I don’t dare say what my brain thinks.”
“Enough you two. You’re killing my buzz,” Haden complains, his eyes never leaving the arena.
“Speaking of which, how on earth did you get Presley to agree to you coming here?”
Haden takes a sip of his beer with a dirty grin on his face. “I pretty much had to screw her brains out to the point where there’s no more sperm left in me. Her words… not mine.”
Lex breaks into laughter. “Me, too.”
“What? How is that even possible? It only took me ten minutes to get dressed until you said you had to help Charlie move some boxes in the attic to get to the special waffle iron because she wanted to make waffles.”
He shakes his head along with Haden, who’s laughing with his eyes still watching the wrestling.
“The waffle iron is in the pantry. But hey, thanks, cousin-in-law, for waiting around.”
Mental note—Contact realtor again and make sure they haul ass to find me a place.
That’s no different than the time I accidentally found ‘battery-operated goods’ in Mom’s closet while searching for some cash.
“Ten minutes, Lex? Really?” Haden queries with judgment.
“Twice. I had time restrictions.”
“Well, screw the both of you. I haven’t gotten laid since Kate’s and my second failed attempt. Can we change the subject now, please?” I beg of them.
“All right, Kate’s like a sister to me and also an employee of mine. Please, don’t talk about her in that way, let alone indulge me in any conversations that mention lesbian anal fisting again,” Lex states, disapprovingly.
“Ouch,” Haden adds, squinting his face on par. “Really? Anal fisting. She’s into that?”
“No… yes… I don’t know,” I say, not wanting to elaborate.
The girls move closer to us, and in one swift move, Miss Big Ass has pinned the other girl to the floor and has removed her bikini top. Her nipples are covered in mud. Wet and erect. Damn.
This beats watching The Notebook.
Ginger, one of the waitresses, serves my drink and lingers around. “So, boys’ night out?”
On cue, Lex and Haden lift their hands, revealing their rings. What a bunch of pussy-whipped fuckers. I down the drink in one go and grab Lex’s. Ginger is starting to look really lovely—blurry, but fuckable.
“And what about you?” she asks, lifting my hand to see it empty.
“Free as a bird.” I wink.
She whispers in my ear, leaning forward, “I get off in twenty minutes, and I’d like to get off with you.”
Fuck.
And as if that moment isn’t what I need, the guilt rushes over me so fast it almost knocks me over. She walks away, turning back to wink at me.
“Go for it, you need to fucking let those blue balls loose,” Haden tells me.
“Nice mouth on her,” Lex adds. “At least get blown if the guilt is too much to fuck her.”
I don’t want to continue feeling like this, and so somewhere during the final round of wrestling, I say goodbye to Lex and Haden and make my way over to the bar. Ginger is hanging up her apron and talking to another waitress. I blink my eyes repeatedly, the alcohol making it hard to concentrate, and pull out my cell, typing a message.
Me: I fucking hate you.
“You ready?” Ginger asks with her purse in hand.
I follow her lead outside the venue and cross the street with her hand in mine. There’s a cab stand in front of the restaurant, another couple waiting for one to pull up. It takes me a few moments to realize that my pocket buzzed, and inside sits my cell. I pull it out, my fingers stumbling as I tap the screen. I squint my eyes and can barely make out the message.
Morgan: Probably why it hurts so much.
I stand still as Ginger repeatedly calls my name. It hurts all right, it hurts like fucking hell. In fact, hell would probably be a vacation compared to the place I’m in right now.
There’s a loud ‘hurrah’ coming from the entrance of the restaurant, and with my eyes dashing toward the sound, I watch as the door opens.
It’s her.
And standing right beside her is her husband, his hand resting comfortably on the small of her back. Morgan sees me, and instantly, her face falls. The dark circles covering her eyes become darker when her eyes land on Ginger, kissing the side of my ear.
“C’mon, Noah, time to have fun.”
And in the act of the universe being all fucked up, I follow Ginger into the cab, avoiding Morgan’s pointed stare.
For tonight, Ginger will erase the pain gutting my insides.
For tonight, she will be my rebound.
NOAH
I’m lying in bed staring at the ceiling, thinking about last night—my actions and how everything in my life is completely messed up.
With K
ate gone, leaving on a red-eye to New York City, I wallow in my own self-pity, trying to pinpoint exactly where it all got fucked up. This is why I need Kate in my life—her years of wisdom would’ve deciphered the mess going on in my head.
Our office is closed today for fumigation. Haden got a call early this morning of a rodent problem and notified everyone immediately. I welcome the break, and over the call, Haden senses exactly that. He happens to be great at giving advice, explaining how he and Presley came together after a rather complicated union. Then he tells me Ginger’s quite a gal and to go back for seconds if possible.
I didn’t even go for firsts. Bailing on her after she took me back to her place, which was an utter mess. Sorry, a dump would be more inappropriate. What a fucking waste of time.
A rebound is what I needed, and I failed at that as well.
I don’t know how to gain control of my life. And there’s nothing more frustrating than the loss of power—the inability to think straight and move on.
I know only one thing—it continues to hurt like hell.
And no matter how much I try, I can’t stop picturing Morgan and her husband sleeping in the same bed, imagining his hands wandering over her body while she sleeps. Every time the vision pops into my head, I want to slam my fist through the wall and direct the pain elsewhere.
The door creaks open, and I expect to see one of the girls standing outside, but instead, I look up and see Morgan. Though my vision is tainted with only the color red, her beauty filters through and leaves me breathless. Fuck, I hate that she makes me feel this way, like some superpower that controls my emotions.
She’s wearing a white dress with red heels, and her hair is tied up into a bun. I feel exposed lying here in only my boxers. What the fuck is she doing here?
“Charlie, let me in,” she says, standing at the foot of the bed. “She just left with the girls.”
“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with your husband and son?”
“Noah, please, don’t you think after you ran off with some strange woman that I deserve at least to be able to explain myself? I’m hurting just as much as you are here.”