by Kat T. Masen
It has been a place of comfort, a place of solace when the world crept up on me, and I needed time to process my thoughts. New York may be the city that never sleeps, but thanks to this place, I slept comfortably each night.
Well, not every night.
Though as the tide turns, life evolves, people move, people change.
I check the time, noting the car service will be here any minute now. With my cell in hand and one more scan of the room, I complete a mental checklist making sure I have everything I need.
As my hand rests on the doorknob, I give myself one more moment to take it all in for the very last time.
Saying goodbye is never easy but shutting the door on my life here is long overdue.
The car service drives me to JFK, battling the peak-hour traffic as the driver listens to his music and thankfully doesn’t engage in unnecessary conversation.
My gaze shifts outside the window, watching the city pass us by. There’s a part of me that will miss the hustle and bustle, the lights and skyline, the action, and rushing around the streets. It has been my playground for the last four years, and being single in a city with over twenty-million people should, in theory, never make you feel lonely.
But the loneliness was palpable.
The driver asks which terminal I prefer, taking a turn with a sign indicating the airport a few miles ahead.
The decision to visit LA was an impromptu one yet with reason. Charlie officially went into labor this morning. Lex called me with a slight panic in his voice. Although he’s done this twice already, when it comes to Charlie’s well-being, his worry stems from a loving place.
According to Charlie, the baby is still breeched, and her C-section is scheduled for next week. However, it seems baby Edwards is incredibly impatient, wanting to make a grand entrance as soon as possible much to Charlie’s dismay.
All of this means a last-minute change to my itinerary, not bothering me at all because Charlie is my family. I want to say goodbye one more time because life has a funny way of passing and before you know it, years have gone by.
What does bother me is sitting next to a passenger in business class who has repeatedly tried to pick me up by bringing up his so-called wealthy lifestyle back in Texas. He owns a few cattle ranches and something about chickens. The man is a lot older with a slick ponytail holding his gray hair back. Okay, so when I said a lot older, I mean he could pass for my grandfather.
Why can’t I attract the younger men? For fuck’s sake.
Somewhere during the talk of a rooster mating with a hen, I excuse myself to finish some work on my laptop. That has been my plan for this entire plane ride if Mr. Chatty didn’t corner me from the second the seat belt sign went on.
When we land in LAX, I couldn’t have exited the plane faster, weaving in and out of the crowd toward the driver holding up the sign Kate Hamilton. Relieved to get out of here, I follow him to the black SUV and request he head to the hospital.
On the drive over, I check my cell, which is flooded with texts, missed calls, and several other notifications. My eyes gravitate towards Lex’s text.
Lex: The baby is here. See you soon.
I smile, though annoyed he didn’t mention the sex of the baby given that they chose not to find out, and everyone has been waiting. Eric started what he called a ‘baby pool,’ and bets were on as to what sex the baby would be and when it would arrive. The C-section was a game-changer, but both Adriana and Rocky were adamant the baby would come earlier.
The driver pulls into the curved entrance, just shy of the main doors. We agree on a time for him to return, and with a quick exit, he drives off down the driveway and back onto oncoming traffic.
I reach the gray double-doors, and detecting my presence, they automatically open into the foyer. My eyes dart around the open space until I see the information board. With a polite smile to a group of young doctors walking past me, I step toward the maternity ward, pulling my eyes from the polished linoleum floor and catching a glimpse of the hallway that stretches beyond.
Taking a quick elevator ride up to level three, I check my cell one more time and notice the poor coverage. There’s another set of double doors marked ‘Maternity Ward.’ I push them with ease as they swing open so effortlessly.
A draft of air hits my face, warm with the familiar disinfectant smell hospitals are known for. As I stroll down the hallway, I pass a different set of doors with a hand-sanitizer dispenser, stopping momentarily to sanitize my hands, then continue to the main desk to ask for directions to Charlie’s room.
A few rooms away, toward the end of the hallway, I knock on the door gently, not to startle anyone, especially the baby. The door is wide open, and I see Lex first. Still dressed in his suit, unshaven, he appears tired though coupled with an elated expression.
“Come in.” He grins, motioning me with his hands.
With small steps, almost tiptoeing, I move past the entrance and see Charlie in bed—the baby resting against her bare skin. Her tired eyes still radiate joy, her skin color slightly pale, no doubt from the sheer exhaustion of the last twenty-four hours.
“You came.”
“I wouldn’t have missed meeting…” I trail off, noting the blanket is white and not forthcoming with any hints as to the sex of the baby.
“Her,” Lex announces, pushing Charlie’s hair away from her face with admiration. “It’s another girl.”
“She’s beautiful,” I gush, unable to hide my elation. “Do we have a name yet?”
“Addison Elisabeth Edwards.”
“Perfect.” Smiling at both of them, I remember the gift I brought from the city. “Oh, I have something for little Addison.”
I reach into my large purse and pull out the gift bag, handing it to Lex. He pulls the contents out— tiny onesies with ‘I Heart NY’ printed on the front, and the other is Yankee’s themed as it’s both their favorite baseball team.
“They’re so cute,” Charlie simpers, gazing at Lex as he holds up the tiny apparel. “Where Mommy and Daddy chased fate.”
Lex removes baby Addison from Charlie, holding her to his shoulder. He’s in his element, a doting father and loving husband. It’s strange to think only four years ago, Lex was not the man he is today.
As I bring myself closer, I open my arms as Lex carefully places her in them. From the second she lays in my arms, a feeling of loving warmth washes over me as I stare into her little face. Bringing my lips to her forehead, I place a gentle kiss and inhale the familiar baby scent. Tiny toes peek from her blanket, dangling so I can admire just how cute they are, like little buttons. Her head, covered in brown hair just like her older sister’s, is so fragile, terrifying me that I may break her.
“Are you ready for Paris?” Charlie asks while trying to sit up. Lex gently scolds her as she winces in pain.
I nod quietly. “Yes, all packed and ready to take Paris by storm.”
“Meet a Frenchman and have beautiful French babies.” Charlie smiles, wistfully.
“Hey, don’t think because I’m in a maternity ward, I’m getting all clucky,” I scold her, playfully. “There’s plenty of nieces to keep me occupied. You stick to your role of procreating, and I’ll still do mine of spoiling them with gifts.”
There’s a commotion as Eric enters the room, tangled in a mass of balloons. They’re a neutral color— a palette of greens and white—and more noticeably, one large balloon which says ‘Yay, Baby! Boo, Sore Vagina.’
Letting out a loose chuckle, I shake my head at his in-your-face congratulatory words.
“Well,” he sneers, eyeing me from head to toe. “Look what the cat dragged back to LA.”
“Did you reshape your brows?” I question, ignoring his dramatic entrance.
Eric clasps his hand against his chest. “OMG, can you tell? I told Jorge not to make me look like an aging Asian grandma.”
Charlie and I burst out laughing simultaneously. Eric is vane at the best of times, and no doubt, my questioning will give him
a complex which I’ll never hear the end of.
Handing the balloons to Lex and kissing Charlie on both cheeks, he peeks into my arms to admire baby Addison.
“Oh Charlie,” he cries with his hand pressed against his mouth. “Mazel tov.”
“We’re not Jewish, Eric.”
“Yes, but my new neighbor is, and he’s trying to make something of himself in the business we call show. I thought I’d expand my religious beliefs, you know, just in case.”
“Um… hello?” My judgmental eyes wander back to Eric. “Are you forgetting about someone called Tristan?”
“He’s doing great.” Eric is unable to meet my gaze, fidgeting with his stiff collar.
“And?”
“He’s coming back in a month, so we’ll see what happens.”
Charlie glances at me, rolling her eyes at the same time I cross my arms, exasperated.
“You can’t fight love, Eric.” I sigh heavily, trying to convince him. “It’s like a force to be reckoned with. It’s all about timing. Tristan’s coming back, and now is your time.”
“Do you really have to go?” Eric pleads, resting his head on my shoulder. “Who else will talk me off the ledge when it comes to making bad decisions?”
“Um… are you forgetting about me?” Charlie huffs, giving off an annoyed stare. “Honestly, Eric. You’re not thinking about the bigger picture here. Kate, in Paris, means connections to French men.”
Eric’s eyes widen with curiosity as Lex lectures Charlie on encouraging Eric’s behavior.
And in a moment when I can have easily talked myself out of going, staying in a place where everything is familiar and comfortable, another reason for my impending departure stands at the door.
Noah.
It’s been almost four months since he stepped foot in my office and basically ended our friendship then and there. I saw it coming, and I sensed Morgan questioning our friendship, hence his distance. So, I did the only thing I could do—I made it easy for him and falsified my happiness.
There kind of was no other choice.
My feelings blurred the friendship line between us, and what hope did I have falling for someone who was in love with someone else? Just like a good business decision, I cut ties and wished him on his merry way with no hard feelings.
But now, he’s standing in the same room. Still tall, muscular, and with a lingering stare consuming me in a way I had purposely forgotten. Assuming he came straight from work, he’s still dressed in a navy business shirt and gray tailored pants. The sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, and in his hand, he’s carrying a bouquet of pink lilies.
Why does he have to look so…
Don’t say it.
Don’t think it.
“Hey,” he greets, his eyes searching mine while I try to compose myself.
“Hey,” is all I manage to say.
Eric, Charlie, and Lex watch in silence, their eyes darting back and forth, making it all the more uncomfortable. The only thing missing is a tub of popcorn in their hands.
Adriana strolls into the room, making an even larger commotion. With her own daughter in her arms, Lex takes her from Adriana so she can hold Addison.
There’s a constant chatter in the room, along with laughter and anecdotes while Addison continues to be passed around. A doctor and his intern walk in, prompting Eric to sharpen his attire and ask questions based on his knowledge of Grey’s Anatomy. It’s comical, to say the least.
With a quick check of my cell, I note the time, having to leave for my flight to Paris. The change in itinerary meant I’d still be able to make an important meeting but don’t have the luxury to spend more time here in LA.
Still keeping my distance from Noah, I say goodbye to everyone, swallowing my emotions as Charlie and Eric both break out into tears. Charlie has a valid reason—her hormones are all over the place. Eric, on the other hand, is the queen of emotional outbursts.
Eric embraces me tightly, his arms around me not willing to let go. “What will I do without you?”
“The same thing you’ve done for years, call me several times a day. We’re only an ocean apart.”
“Please, Kate, my geography isn’t the best. Remember when I thought Ecuador was part of Africa?”
“We all remember that.” Lex snickers.
“I’m jealous,” Eric pouts. “You know that, right?”
“Always.” I smile before I kiss his lips, hugging him one last time.
Not wanting to hurt Charlie, I lean in and hug her as best as I can, warning her to take it easy. Wiping a tear that falls down her cheek, I promise to text her the second I land. As for Lex, we hug goodbye, but unlike the rest of them, I will see him in a few short months for a summit in London.
“Can we talk?” Noah asks, rubbing the back of his neck after Adriana lets go of me.
We walk into the corridor, moving aside to allow people to use the walkway.
“So, you’re going to France?”
I nod, keeping my distance to maintain my rational frame of mind. “Yes, tonight.”
“How long?”
“Indefinitely,” I state with finality.
With a downturned mouth, his eyebrows gather in with a pained expression.
“Kate, I… I’m sorry. I know things are weird between us, and I miss you.”
Three simple words that shoot to my core, disrupting the peaceful surroundings I’d created over the last few months. I swallow the lump forming in my throat, keeping my responses factual.
“You have your life, and I have mine.”
His stare widens as he nods while pressing his lips together. Perhaps I’d hurt him by not returning the sentiment, but what would be the point?
“There’s something I have to tell you.” He begins fidgeting with his cuff, lowering his eyes, unable to meet mine as they did moments ago. “Morgan and I are… we’re expecting a baby. It wasn’t planned. I mean, an accident but still…”
The smile on my face remains the exact same. My stomach has its own agenda, a wave of nausea crashing around like a vicious storm. If silence is to fall around us, maybe, just maybe, you might hear the slight crack of something inside me breaking.
But I’d learned, over the years, to be the person everyone else has wanted me to be.
Right now, Noah needs me to be his friend, who understands his life is moving on. He’s about to start a family. That’s as committed as you can get.
Yet inside, I know whatever chance there would have been between us has come to a crashing halt.
A dead end.
The final nail in the so-called coffin of what my over-imaginative brain occasionally conjures up.
I shouldn’t need a man to love me. I try to tell myself that almost every day. I need me to love me.
And Paris is the perfect place to rediscover who I am at this stage of my life. Trust the timing of life. Noah was the perfect storm, taking me with him on this journey and making me see life with different colored glasses.
“Congratulations, Noah. I’m happy for you. For both of you. Accident or not, it’s a blessing.” I smile, quickly checking my cell. There’s a message from the driver, a traffic jam which will extend our travel time back to the airport. “Listen, my car service is waiting to take me to the airport. All the best, Noah.”
Raising my head, I take a deep breath, telling myself to be the bigger person and not allow my emotions to ruin this moment.
“Kate… hold on.”
With reluctance, I allow my eyes to meet his, gazing at his handsome face if not for the last time.
“I love you.”
I take it back—these are the three words to break me.
Noah’s bright-eyed stare begins to imprison me. But I tell myself over and over again that his love for me remains purely of a friendship which blossomed from two strangers who needed each other at that time.
And so, as I think of the time we spent together, I can’t help but smile back at him.
“I know, N
oah. I’ll always love you,” I profess, allowing whatever it is between us to finally run free. “Go live your happily ever after. It’s long overdue.”
“You’ll be okay,” he’s quick to remind me. “You know that, right?”
“You’ve always promised me that, and you’ve yet to prove me wrong.”
And with our final words, I say goodbye and walk away.
Noah Mason will always be a part of my life, someone who came when I needed him the most, a purpose in his timing.
Life is all about timing.
Now my new journey begins, and as the doors close behind me, and I leave my friends behind, I take a deep breath and welcome the endless possibilities.
Paris.
Inside my jacket, my cell vibrates. I chuckle softly, guessing it’s Eric reporting something gross he saw which has freaked him out. And just when I prepare myself to talk him off the ledge, my footsteps stop as my eyes freeze on the screen.
Dominic: We need to talk.
The words are like dynamite, the aggressive nature of the explosion restricting my breathing. Out of all days and all the moments, how is it that his timing could be so inconvenient. Then, when I didn’t think it could get any worse, my cell begins to ring with words Private Caller flashing on the screen.
“Hello,” I swallow, trying to compose myself.
“It’s me,” he murmurs over the receiver, his voice low with a slow beat. “I made a mistake, Kate… it should have been you.”
And just like that, my past collides with my future in a fleeting moment.
Want more from the series?
Chasing Heartbreak
An Friends to Lovers Romance
The Dark Love Series Book 6
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BLURB
My life is my work.
There’s nothing wrong with being a strong, career-driven woman.
And especially nothing wrong with keeping a lover on the side.
Dominic has his life in the States, and I have mine here in Paris.
It was all working just fine.
Until my former best friend suddenly shows up.