CHAPTER 7
THE FOREST MONSTER OF OZ
Meanwhile, word of the monster's plans for Tiger had reached Elephantand Tweaty and Nibbles via Hootsey and Lisa. The trio had been showingOzma the cast of the giant footprint when the owls flew in with thenews. Ozma was astounded that such a beast could live in her domainwithout her being aware of it. And indeed, the beast had kept a fairlylow profile until recently. But it was quite obvious that a powerstruggle was now going on. The beast was gradually finding out that hecould grow larger and stronger at the expense of others and would nodoubt not be satisfied until he was so large and powerful that everyliving creature would be under his domain. Why, even Ozma herself was indanger. The owls quickly informed her that the beast's first goal was tocapture Elephant in order to gain the super strength that would enablehim to attack the Cowardly Lion. However, she knew he had to absorbTiger's power and courage first before he would dream of attackingElephant. It was quite obvious he was going to have to think fast beforeTiger became a mere shell of his old self.
Hootsey and Lisa were naturally quite concerned for their own welfare.They did not want their wisdom sucked out of them by a giant spider withvampire-like tendencies. One has to live a long time and learn by trialand error before one can truly be considered wise. Of course, somepeople never learn. They make the same mistakes over and over. However,that is neither here nor there. The point is that Hootsey and Lisa werein as much danger as anyone and were very anxious to help in any waythey could.
"If I might make a suggestion?" said Hootsey. "I recently came upon someunusual creatures that could very well be a match for the monster."
Of course, everyone was all ears, and fell silent as Hootsey began totalk.
"These creatures are very unusual in that they are technically made ofglass and so would appear to be very fragile. But when they open theirmouths they are a most ferocious sight to behold. They are of a bulbousshape with very long legs that can move at the speed of light--"
At this point Nibbles intercepted Hootsey's graphic description.
"These animals sound most interesting, but they don't sound particularlyferocious--"
"Oh, wait!" responded Hootsey. "I haven't told you the best part. Theirmouths are filled with razor-sharp teeth and they can rip any animal toshreds in two seconds. When a pack of them attack, the unfortunatevictim never even knows what hit him. It's over that fast."
Owl describing Saber-tooth Light-Bulbs]
"And what might the name of these creatures be?" responded Elephant.
"Well," answered Hootsey. "Two important factors contribute to theirname. One is their ability to light their bodies up at night brighterthan a hundred glow worms. The second is when they open their mouths andexpose those teeth you would think you were looking at a Saber-Toothedtiger. Anyone want to guess their name?"
"_Saber-Toothed Light Bulbs!_" everyone responded in unison.
They all began to feel a little better to know that perhaps the dreadfulspider-creature may not be so formidable after all. It was difficult toimagine how he could possibly stand up to a ferocious pack ofSaber-Toothed Light Bulbs. Of course, the next thing that must be donewould be to negotiate with the Saber-Toothed Light Bulbs and see if theywould be willing to take on the monster. The little group was soengrossed in mulling this over that they did not notice a new visitor intheir midst. It was Tweaty who first noticed him and nudged Nibbles inthe ribs. Nibbles looked up to observe the strangest-looking little chapthat he had ever set eyes on. He was a sort of miniature FredFlintstone--short and pudgy. But he had a nose to beat all noses! Itwasn't that it was long or funny shaped or anything. It was just big(and I really mean BIG!). Anyway, when Tweaty poked Nibbles in the ribs,it was a pretty hard poke. And Nibbles let out quite a yell. Everyoneturned to look, and saw the stranger.
"Excuse me," said the stranger. "I didn't mean to intrude. But I saweveryone here having a meeting and I didn't want to interrupt. However,since I now have your undivided attention, I feel duty-bound to conveythe reason for my being here in the hopes that you will not consider itan intrusion on your privacy."
"Well, he is certainly polite," commented Hootsey. "It is my consideredopinion that we should hear what he has to say."
"By all means," everyone said, nodding in unison.
"Well, my mission is really with Queen Ozma. You see, my people haveencountered some border skirmishes with our neighbors to the north andwe were hoping that Queen Ozma could use her good offices and apply herdiplomatic powers of persuasion to encourage them to retreat back intotheir own territory. You see, they are very aggressive in nature;whereas we are a very passive people."
"Might I ask if they have made any formal declaration of hostilities?"asked the Queen in her best adult voice.
"Well, no. Not exactly," responded the little chap. "Perhaps the bestway of clarifying the situation would be for me to read this copy of arecent speech our President gave to our parliamentary congress." Withthat, he pulled out a rolled-up manuscript from his coat pocket with aflourish and began to read;
"'Ladies and Gentlemen: I have called this emergency session of the FiveHundredth and Eighteenth Parliamentary Congress to inform you of somevery disturbing developments along our northern border. As president ofthe Sniffer Nation, I need not remind you of the delicate nature of ourhighly sensitive olfactory organs--our noses. And would you believe thatour so-called friendly northern neighbors--the Stinkfoots--have recentlyseen fit to ignore all previous treaties and sense of common decency!They have caused great distress among our border residents by not onlybuilding new residential dwellings right smack up against the border,but have blatantly crossed the border in ever increasing numbers andbrazenly thumbed their ridiculously small noses at Sniffer citizens whowere unfortunate enough to cross their paths. They have also beenobserved taking soil samples from our rich bottom land. The reasons forthis are now known to us. You will be shocked to the core when I revealthis to you in a moment. In the meantime many of our border residentshave become so overwhelmed and nauseated by the smell of the Stinkfootsthat they have moved lock stock and barrel to the city. I immediatelydashed off a letter of protest to the Stinkfoot President, demanding animmediate withdrawal to the previously negotiated line of demarcationtwo miles north of the border.'
"I do not wish to alarm our citizens to the point of panic, but I shallnow read to you their President's reply:
"'To President Humongous Schnozzle; distinguished Members of the FiveHundredth and Eighteenth Parliamentary Congress of the Sniffer Nation;and to all of the humble citizens of your fair land.
"'First, let me apologize for not entering into new negotiations regardingour present expansion. But due to a severe blight on our stinkweed crop,which as you know is our staple diet, our people are becoming severelymalnourished. I'm sure that you are all well aware that we are greatlydependent on the stinkweed plant for many purposes, the least of whichis the manufacture of stinkweed pills which we all partake ofreligiously in order to maintain that rich aroma that permeates ourbodies, but which mainly radiates from the area of our feet. As youknow, our olfactory senses are virtually nonexistent, but we are awareof a slight essence of this aroma which we find most pleasing.Unfortunately for others who might stray across our borders, the smelloverpowers them in seconds, rendering any potential invader helpless.Now, as a result of the factors I have just presented to you, we findyour bottom land by our northern borders to be extremely rich innutrients that the stinkweed plant needs to flourish, and preliminaryexperimental results indicate that stinkweed plants grown in thisenvironment are completely immune to the blight that is wiping out ourcrop. Therefore, we have no option but to take as much of your land aswill insure the very survival of the proud nation that we are. That iswhy we did not inform you formally or informally. The matter is simplynot negotiable.
"'Sincerely
"'Stinky McFoot President (Past, Present and Future) of Stinkfootland
"'P.S.--It is not our fault that the Snif
fer people have such big nosesthat their sense of smell is ultra sensitive to our presence.'"
The little group had fallen silent. "You know," said Elephant to Ozma."We are greatly sympathetic to their predicament. However, the situationwith the Stinkfoots and the Sniffers is diverting us from our realproblem--which is that huge, furry, ugly, filthy putrid monstrosity whocalls himself a spider."
"That's very true," said Ozma. "But remember, we have to negotiate withthe Saber-Toothed Light Bulbs before we can do anything. In themeantime, the President of the Sniffer Nation has asked our help and wesimply cannot refuse. He and his people are in a real bind."
"I'll be in a real bind if that monster attacks me," snapped Elephant."I'll be bound up in his giant web and devoured to death."
"Now don't you worry," Ozma replied, reaching up to pat Elephant'strunk. "We won't let anything happen to you."
Her answer must have satisfied Elephant, because he wrapped his trunkaround her waist and hoisted her up to his back. Then he walked down tothe stream and took a long drink. As they returned to join the group,Hootsey was clearing his throat and proceeded to speak with pure wisdomdripping from every word. "I have been thinking..."
Before he could continue, Lisa interrupted him. "I can see that you'vebeen thinking because smoke is coming out of your ears." Of course shehad a twinkle in her eyes when she said this, but Hootsey did not seethe humor of it.
"Well that's very funny, Ha! Ha!" he said dryly. "I'm dying of laughter,Ho! Ho! Ho!" After he finished glaring at Lisa, he continued ... "So,anyway, as I was saying," again glaring at Lisa, "_before I was sorudely interrupted!_ There is great diversity in Oz. I mean, there areso many different kinds of people, yet for the most part we all getalong fairly well. Oh, we have our differences of opinion. No questionabout it. But we seem to resolve them without too much upheaval. Well,most of the time. Anyway, the point is--"
At that, Tweaty interrupted. "I can see immediately that you have neverbeen to Chilepepperland."
"And where, pray tell, is Chilepepperland?" enquired Hootsey with a hintof cynicism. "And why have I never heard of it?"
"Perhaps you've never heard of it because you're too busy trying tothink of wise things to say," interrupted Nibbles. "After all, you havea reputation to uphold."
Hootsey could not be sure if Nibbles was being a "smart alec" or wasjust paying him a complement.
"Chilepepperland is beyond the great desert," answered Tweaty, "in avery remote region which is surrounded by impenetrable terrain composedof jagged rocks. There is only one narrow passageway which twists andturns every which way through the rocks. The sides of the passageway arequite sheer. If you were looking down from above, it would just seemlike a chasm because you cannot see the path at the bottom. Besides, theroad disappears in places where it goes under the rocks. The entrance iscompletely hidden by prickly pear bushes which are plentiful in theregion. That is why no one has ever heard of Chilepepperland. Because itis basically cut off from civilization."
"How did you discover it?" Elephant asked with genuine curiosity.
"Well," continued Tweaty, "I happened to be flying over the area one dayand spotted a group of green chilepeppers having a picnic. They invitedme to lunch and told me all about their turbulent history. It seems thatChilepepperland was first occupied by several tribes of red chilepepperswho were, for the most part, peace-loving. Oh, they had occasional smallskirmishes among themselves. But they lived in relative harmony for manymany years; living off the land which they treated with great reverencebecause it provided all their food. They also had great respect for theanimal kingdom. They were never wasteful; giving constant thanks to thegreat spirit who, they believed, watched over them and provided for themabundantly. They believed in sharing their bounty with one another, andthis they did frequently with great ceremony. Then one fateful day, thefirst group of yellow chilepeppers arrived from a foreign shore. Atfirst there was a mutual understanding between the newcomers and theindigenous people. The red chilepeppers were very helpful in assistingthe newcomers to adapt to their new surroundings. In return, they weregiven trinkets that sparkled, such as colored glass beads, hand mirrorsand such, the like of which they'd never set eyes on before. The redchilepeppers were an innocent people, really quite primitive compared tothe sophisticated so-called civilized newcomers who, incidentally, werevery quick to take advantage of the childlike trust the red chilepeppersdisplayed in their early contacts. They moved quickly to take fulladvantage of these simple trustful souls. And as more and more yellowchilepeppers arrived, they moved across the country taking whatever landthey needed without any regard for the previous occupants. This lead tomuch fighting and eventual total conquest of the red chilepeppers whowere forced to give up their beautiful lands and moved to less desirableareas. This broke their spirit, for they were once a very proudpeople--roaming at will the vast prairies and forests. And to this daythey remain second-class citizens, really. Never able to assimilate intothe world of the yellow chilepeppers, nor ever able to return to thetotal freedom they once knew."
"That has to be the saddest story I've ever heard," said Elephant."Those yellow chilepeppers are just rotten dogs! How could they treattheir fellow chilepeppers that way just because they were red instead ofyellow?"
"I assume that they were uncomfortable with people who they considered'different,'" answered Ozma. "Also, they wanted the best land forthemselves."
"Anyway, that's not all," continued Tweaty. "After they took those lushlands away from the rightful owners, they desecrated much of it over theyears, seeing it only as something to take from and to pour harshchemicals into for various reasons of their own. The red chilepeppershad always blessed the land, given it thanks for its bounty andreplenished it when they took from it. Yet the yellow chilepeppersconsidered them primitive and savage. And that's still not all! Thegreen chilepeppers went on to tell me about the treatment that _they_received at the hands of the yellow chilepeppers. It seems that theyalso lived in a land of their own far away across the Nonestic Ocean.One day a group of yellow chilepeppers, who were visiting the area intheir ship, came ashore and captured some of them and took them back toChilepepperland and sold them to plantation owners in the southern partof Chilepepperland ..."
"Oh, come on!" said Nibbles, who had been very silent all this time."You can't sell people."
"In those days you could," Tweaty responded. "At least, according to thegreen chilepeppers I talked to. They not only sold the people theycaptured as slaves, but they went back again and again to capture moregreen chilepeppers and sold them, too. And by the way, a lot of thegreen chilepeppers died in the terrible voyage en route."
"But how could the leaders of the yellow chilepeppers allow this tohappen?" asked Ozma. "I would never allow even an unkind remark to passbetween them if I were their leader. And I would have made the yellowchilepeppers take the green chilepeppers back to their own peopleimmediately."
"Well, as a matter of fact," continued Tweaty, "the yellow chilepeppers'leader lived in the north, and he thought very poorly of thisarrangement. A lot of other people agreed with him, and he abolishedslavery forever from the land. But it caused the yellow chilepeppers tofight among themselves and, to this day, some yellow chilepeppers stilldo not consider the green chilepeppers to be equal in status tothemselves--and can be quite discriminating in their treatment of them.That is, when they can get away with it. They even confine themeconomically and socially to areas that are less desirable to live.Quite naturally, this causes great resentment among many of the greenchilepeppers and sometimes their anger is unleashed in unfortunate ways.This in turn causes an even greater chasm between the two groups."
"How terrible!" Elephant said. "Chilepepperland sounds like a horribleplace to live! I hope I never even have to visit there."
"It sounds to me," said Ozma, "that if every single chilepepper wholives in Chilepepperland really wanted to, they could live in Peace andLove and Harmony alongside each other forever and ever. And then itwould be a
perfectly wonderful place to live."
"The problem as I see it," said Hootsey, looking as wise as he could,"is that for every chilepepper of whatever color whose heart is filledwith love and kindness for his fellows, there are probably several whocannot generate those feelings within themselves. So I predict that theunfortunate state of affairs in that dark land will continue for quitesome time to come. It's a very negative prognosis, I know. But theaccumulated wisdom I have acquired over many years tells me that this isso."
"I know one thing," said Lisa. "The people who live in the land whereDorothy comes from are much too intelligent to allow such foolishness toexist there."
The other members of the little group turned to each other knowingly,and slowly shook their heads. For they knew that the unfortunate fact ofthe matter was that the land where Dorothy came from had had a similarhistory. In fact, even as I write these words, there are people in themortal lands who have lost their homes and all of their worldlypossessions, and many, their lives, simply because they had themisfortune to be born different in some way than their neighbors.
Everyone became very quiet as he assimilated all that had been said.Ozma spoke first. "I would like to read, if I may, a poem from a littlebook given to me by a dear friend. I was reminded of this poem whenTweaty spoke of the difficulties the green chilepepper peopleencountered. The poem was written by a mortal human named William Blake.It is called _The Little Black Boy_."
_My mother bore me in the southern wild And I am black, but O my soul is white White as an angel is the English child But I am black, as if bereaved of light.
My mother taught me underneath a tree, And, sitting down before the heat of the day, She took me on her lap and kissed me, And, pointing to the East, began to say:
"Look on the rising sun: there God does live, And gives His light, and gives His heat away, And flowers and trees and beasts and men receive Comfort in the morning, joy in the noonday.
"And we are put on Earth a little space That we may learn to bear the beams of love; And these black bodies and this sunburnt face Are but a cloud, and like a shady grove.
"For, when our souls have learned the heat to bear, The cloud will vanish, we shall hear His voice, Saying, 'Come out from the grove, my love and care, And round my golden tent like lambs rejoice.'"
Thus did my mother say, and kissed me, And thus I say to the little English boy. When I from black, and he from white cloud free. And round the tent of God like lambs we joy,
I'll shade him from the heat 'til he can bear To lean in joy upon our Father's knee; And then I'll stand and stroke his silver hair, And be like him, and he will then love me._
By the time Ozma had read the last line, tears were streaming downeveryone's face.
"That is the most beautiful poem I have ever heard..." Elephant sobbed,as Tweaty dabbed his eyes with a tailfeather, "...and so very sad thatit will take so long for True Love to exist between all peoples. Onlywhen they realize that in the ultimate sense there is no differencebetween them."
The story of the chilepeppers and the poem by William Blake lefteveryone in a very somber mood. But Time was not standing still, and youcan be sure that that mean-spirited old spider-monster was not lettingany grass grow under his feet. Even now he was no doubt growing strongerby the minute by sucking strength and courage out of any victim who hadbeen unfortunate enough to be caught in his deadly web.
"We must be on our way," Ozma said, shivering slightly. "Elephant, whydon't we all ride on you, and we'll talk as we go along and plan ourstrategy."
"Good idea," Elephant answered, picking Ozma up again.
Meanwhile, Tweaty and the owls flew up and perched on Elephant's head.Elephant then lowered his trunk to allow Nibbles to jump aboard and belifted up behind Ozma.
"Okay, every one!" shouted Elephant as he raised his trunk high in theair and let out a great trump which just about blew everyone off hisback. He then proceeded to waddle down the road making trumping soundsthat sounded suspiciously like a trombone playing the bass part to _Whenthe Saints go marching in_. In fact, pretty soon everyone was singingalong--
_Oh when the saints Go mar chin' in. When the saints go marchin' in. Lord, I want to be in that number, When the saints go marchin' in..._
Sniffer and Stinkfoot arguing.]
The Forest Monster of Oz Page 7