CHAPTER 9
ONWARD TOWARD THE SABER-TOOTHED LIGHT BULBS
The Sniffers and Stinkfoots agreed to help in the Lunechien Forestshould their services be needed to help stop the devastation broughtabout by the spider-monster. President Schnozzle handed Ozma a smallperfume bottle that, when opened, would release a perfume that could besmelled only by a Sniffer, and would reach the distance from the forestin only a matter of minutes. Ozma pocketed the little bottle and thankedthe Sniffer and Stinkfoot Presidents. Then Ozma and the party of fivewas on its way to the land of the Saber-Toothed Light Bulbs.
"How far is it from here?" asked Elephant, who was still carrying theothers on his broad back.
"Well," said Hootsey, "it isn't exactly close. We will have to travelthrough some fairly rough territory to get to the Light Bulbs. But I'msure our pachyderm is up to it, if anyone is. And we do have our newQueen along as well. I really don't think we'll have too many problems."
However, unbeknownst to the little owl, problems were exactly what layahead of them. The elephant walked on for a few miles without incident,but then came upon a marshy area. "I don't remember this place," saidHootsey with disdain.
The marshy area was barren of all trees. Stretched out before them laywhat seemed to be miles of reeds surrounding patches of dirty lookingwater with steam rising to form a veritable fog. The whole area lookedvery formidable and quite scary.
"I don't like this a bit," Elephant remarked, with a concernedexpression on his face. "Who knows what's laying in wait under thatwater? And it doesn't look as if we could get very far without walkingthrough it."
"And who knows how deep the water is?" Tweaty said. "It could be twofeet or twenty; maybe even some of the solid ground is reallyquicksand!"
Just then a loud twittering sound was heard; soft at first but thenincreasing in volume to totally surround the little group. Then headsappeared above the reeds to signify the source of the twittering. Theheads were square; powdery white; and with round eyes like you might seeon a stuffed toy--except the expression on the square faces was anythingbut cute. One rather large creature stood up to reveal a body of thesame substance. His whole body looked as if it was composed of giantmarshmallows, including his arms and legs.
"_I suppose_," he shouted in a booming voice that sounded as if it werecoming out of the bottom of a barrel. "I suppose you people think youare going to traverse our lands."
"Not really," answered Elephant.
"Oh, how silly of me. Of course you are just here for a picnic,"responded the creature with a sneer. "I should have realized. Quick!Grab 'em, boys!"
The little band was immediately surrounded by hundreds of the creatureswho threw fishing nets over them, then rolled out wooden cages onwheels.
After everyone was confined in the cages, the leader stepped forward toaddress them again.
"Big mistake. Big mistake you made coming here. Not one trespasser hasever set foot on our land and lived to tell the tale. You see, we arethe Keepers of the Crocodiles who live in these marshes and swamps. Andin return for keeping them well fed, they have agreed not to eat us andto allow us to coexist with them in these waters. The substance of ourbodies is a sweet marshmallow material and we would be prey to all kindsof creatures if we had to depart these lands. We were made of the samematerial you are at one time, but we made the mistake of crossing swordswith a Wicked Witch and in a fit of anger, before you could say 'JackyRobinson,' she changed us into marshmallows. So here we are, and hereyou are, just in time to feed a bunch of hungry crocodiles. Which is toobad, really, but that's life--death sooner or later. And in your case,it's sooner."
Elephant and Nibbles and Tweaty and Hootsey and Ozma and Lisa all lookedat each other with despair and foreboding.
"Look," said Elephant to the leader of the marshmallow people. "I am ahuge animal. My body will keep those crocodiles fed for weeks. WhileTweaty here, and Hootsey and Lisa, are tiny creatures. The crocodileswould not even taste them. Why don't you let them go?"
"Hmmmm," murmured the marshmallow leader. "You have a point there. Infact, the crocodiles could get quite annoyed with us for feeding themsuch tiny morsels. Okay. We'll let them go. But what about her?" hesaid, pointing to Ozma. "She would be quite a delicacy."
"Delicacy?" echoed Ozma. "I am not a delicacy. I am Ozma, Queen of Oz!"
The marshmallow man looked at the child and giggled. "You are the Queenof something? Yeah, right! And I suppose that next you're going to tellme that mortal men will one day be able to travel to the moon and back.Ha! That's a laugh!"
"But it's true!" argued Elephant. "Ozma is the ruler of Oz."
"Indeed," added Lisa. "I'll admit, I was also a little shaken when Ifirst learned that the Queen of Oz was a little girl. But you mustunderstand that Ozma is of Fairy descent. She is not like a mortal childat all. She has special abilities and powers that..."
Elephant and others in Cages]
"Silence!" shouted the marshmallow man. "I am not interested in hearingyour lies! This child is simply a tender and mouthwatering humandelicacy for the crocodiles to eat! That is all!" He looked at Ozma andlaughed. "Fairy descent? This is not a Fairy! I know about these things!Fairies are tiny little critters with wings like those on one of ourdragonflies. This is just a human child. A perfectly ordinary humanchild!"
Ozma looked at him indignantly, but she said nothing more. She knew thatit would be hard to convince anyone of her origin without some sort ofproof. And, indeed, what would serve as sufficient proof to convincethis Doubting Thomas? She knew all too well that, throughout history,skeptics have always been known to cling to what they thought to betruth, even when it was a foolish belief that they were clinging to.Indeed, mortals in America had placed a great deal of faith in asubstance called radium. A highly radioactive and dangerous substance,radium was being treated as a miracle medicine that had been hailed as acure-all for anything! This marshmallow man was every bit assmall-minded as the mortal men. If she were going to prove her positionand power, she would have to break through the imaginary wall that hehad built up in his mind concerning the proper look of Queens andFairies.
"My good man," she said in her most dignified voice, "I can understandwhy you might assume what you do. It is true that I look more like alittle girl than the ruler of a vast country like Oz. And it is truethat some Fairy groups can be described as you have just suggested.However, it is also true that there are different kinds of Fairies, justas there are different kinds of marshmallows. The Fairy Queen Lurlinedoes not have wings, and she looks quite human, too. But if it is soimportant to you, I can probably meet with your needs in a satisfactorymanner." She put her fingers to her temples and concentrated.
"What are you doing?" asked the marshmallow man in puzzlement. Then:"Chicanery in Chittenango!" he exclaimed. "You have wings! But youdidn't have them a second or two ago!"
"Nor have I got them now," explained Ozma. "But I have made myselfappear to you as you would have me appear. Because I am a Fairy, I canmake myself look any way I please. But underneath, I am still the samelittle girl I have always been." The wings vanished again.
"But how can this be?" shuddered the marshmallow man.
"It is really very simple," explained Ozma. "When I first took thethrone of Oz, I had the same blonde hair that you see me with now. But Imight decide one day to be a brunette." Her hair suddenly changed coloras she spoke. "Or even a redhead." Again, the child's hair changedcolor. "Why, if I had a mind to, I could even make it green!" Again, herhair color changed. "You know, I think I might want to try being abrunette once in a while. Just for a change, you know. And if ever Imust meet with dignitaries from another country--especially one of thosenarrow-minded mortal lands, I think I might want to appear to them as anadult. But, of course, I like being youthful, so I will not really age.I will just make myself appear that way on occasion when the situationcalls for it."
The marshmallow man fell to his marshmallow knees. "Forgive me, yourHighness!" he said. "You really are a Fair
y! I most humbly apologize formy mistake. But you must admit, you really did look like a mere humanchild. How was I to know?"
"I don't think it should have mattered," said Elephant. "Do you reallyimagine that it is ever proper to feed any sentient being to acrocodile? Even a regular mortal child?"
"You are a wild animal," spoke the marshmallow man. "You should knowbetter than anyone that such is the way of survival. We do not want thecrocodiles to eat us, but we know that they must eat. I doubt that theywould be satisfied with tofu or falafel burgers, either. Thesecrocodiles are carnivorous, and they require fresh meat in order tosurvive. Would you have them become extinct?"
"He has a point," said Hootsey. "We really can't blame the crocodilesfor their metabolisms. But we can't allow them to eat our Queen,either!"
"Oh, no," said the marshmallow man. "Now that I know who she is, I haveno intention of feeding her to the crocodiles any more."
"Nor any of my companions," said Ozma in a tone of voice that would nottolerate any argument. "But you do have a legitimate problem. You arecitizens of Oz, and therefore my subjects. I will not allow any of mysubjects to be threatened by any carnivorous crocodiles."
"Then the crocodiles will not be able to survive," said Lisa sadly.
"But nothing can actually die anywhere in Oz," said Nibbles.
"Then they will grow horribly uncomfortable if they can't eat whatNature dictates they should," said Lisa. "I, for one, would rather diethan have a constant emptiness in my tummy or lack of energy due tomalnutrition."
"Indeed," agreed Elephant. "To go hungry is a terrible fate. Isn't theresome alternative?"
"Nothing short of allowing the crocodiles to eat you," replied themarshmallow man.
"Then all is lost," sighed Hootsey. "Our benevolent ruler will have todecide who will be the recipient of her benevolence. It will have to bea choice between the carnivorous crocodiles or their natural source offood. One of the two must suffer."
"How sad," said Lisa. "I had always heard that rulers and queens had atough job, but I had always doubted it. On the surface, it looks likequeens get to live in beautiful palaces with servants who meet all oftheir needs. And they are allowed to go to bed any time they like, oreat chocolate ice cream for breakfast if they wish. But now I begin tounderstand why their lives are so difficult. I sure wouldn't want tohave to make a decision like that. Basically, you'll be condemning anentire race to extinction--just like the dodo bird or thewinkledejimpker!"
"Couldn't we use criminals and thieves to feed to the crocodiles?"suggested Nibbles.
"I will not allow even them to be tortured this way," said Ozma. "Even athief deserves a chance to make up for his past misbehaving."
"Then what can we do?" asked the marshmallow man.
"Hey!" said Elephant, suddenly having an idea. "There is a grove oftrees that grows near the Lunechien Forest. Some of the trees havefruits growing on them. Others have seed pods or alarm clocks or othersuch normal things that one always expects to find growing on trees. ButI think there are also a couple of ham and sausage trees there. I'll betthey would suffice for the crocodiles. Then they wouldn't have to eatany living creatures in order to satisfy their natural cravings."
"A grand idea!" said the marshmallow man. "I have never heard of suchodd trees as those, but I'm sure the crocodiles will be thrilled tolearn that they no longer have to be hated and feared by their fellowbeings."
"Of course," said Lisa. "No one wants to be feared. And if they are nowable to get their meat without any stalking or struggling, they mightneed some other form of exercise to keep from growing fat or sluggish. Ithink we should organize some group activities that will allow thecrocodiles and owls to interact together as friends."
"And maybe Pinky and I could arrange a similar thing for us elephants toget together with them."
"I think the mice would be a little too scared," shuddered Nibbles.
"Not after I have one of those ham trees transplanted in their marsh,"said Ozma. She turned to the marshmallow man. "Would you be willing totake charge of that?"
"Of course," he replied. "It will also make my own people live ingreater comfort to know that the crocodiles will never be hungry forthem again. But ... er, just out of curiosity, are there any marshmallowtrees around? Just to be on the safe side, you know."
They all laughed.
The Forest Monster of Oz Page 9