by Jaime Reese
Enough to secure the catering job for next year’s meeting.
Ben sat at the small desk and chair Julian had set up for him in his bedroom. If he climbed into bed and leaned back against that soft pillow, he wouldn’t last more than a few minutes before sleep came crashing in. And he refused to sacrifice his nightly video chat session with Gabriel, especially knowing he didn’t need to go in to work tomorrow.
Crossing his legs on the chair, he leaned over and set his phone in the small tripod Gabriel had given him just as the phone flashed with the incoming call. He tapped the screen to answer, waving when Gabriel’s smiling face appeared on the display. Sometimes, Gabriel chatted on his phone as he sat on his living room couch or at the counter in his kitchen. Other times, like tonight, he would be on his laptop while in bed wearing a white, loose-fitting T-shirt with his hair completely disheveled.
“Hi,” Gabriel said with that teasing smile and that manipulative dimple. “If we keep this up, you’re going to get tired of me.”
Not a chance. Ben softly chuckled. All week, he and Natalie had worked together in the back area, handling the event’s orders, while Gabriel had managed the storefront. Days were spent together at the shop and nights on video. Add this past week to the time they had already spent texting and video chatting…three weeks of pure bliss and counting. Regardless of how much time they spent together, it wasn’t enough. With a sweeping gaze of Gabriel’s features, he shook his head. Nope, not a chance I’d get tired of you.
Ben loved the casual hot-mess-in-bed look, but a few days this week, Gabriel had worn a backward baseball cap to the bakery in an effort to tame his mussed mane. With all that thick hair pulled away from his face, his smile appeared bigger and brighter. Overall, there was just more of that sexiness to admire and lock away into another memory piece for late-night reference.
A waving hand on the screen caught his attention. “What were you thinking about?” Gabriel asked while signing.
His cheeks blazed. “Nothing.”
“We agreed to be honest.”
Ben chewed his lip. “Your hair,” he signed.
“It’s a mess. I need to shave it off.”
Ben shook his head. Vehemently. With his right hand out and his index and middle fingers together, he tapped his fingers down to his thumb. Repeatedly. No, no, no, no.
“Okay, okay, Mr. No.” Gabriel held his hands up in surrender while laughing. “You like it long and messy.”
Those words triggered a whole other set of images streaming in his mind. He blew out a shaky breath, then peeked at the screen.
The heat in that brown gaze was mesmerizing. “What were you thinking about just now?” Gabriel asked, his gaze becoming heavy lidded.
Not a chance he was touching that question. He planted his elbows on the desk and held his head in his hands. He could stare at Gabriel all night.
“I like it when you look at me like that.”
Good. Staring was his thing. If it were a sport, he would be the undefeated world champ.
Gabriel reached over for something, momentarily leaving the video screen. He reappeared a few seconds later holding a baseball cap. “Are you good with this?”
Ben smiled and nodded, still holding his head in his hands.
The bright beaming smile and dimple appeared as Gabriel combed his fingers through his hair before setting the cap backwards on his head.
There was now more of Gabriel to see. And stare at.
Perfect.
“Are you going to stare at me all night?” Gabriel asked.
You have no idea. Ben nodded again, still holding his head in his hands and still wearing that silly grin he knew was plastered on his face.
Gabriel shrugged. “I’m good with that.” He leaned back on his pillows, returning Ben’s stare.
Not a word was spoken or signed as he enjoyed the visual buffet. With permission granted, Ben unabashedly stared, memorizing every curve of Gabriel’s face. Each groove and scar was cataloged, and every tiny wrinkle noted. His lashes were long and his eyebrows thick. His mouth was wide and his lips full. The small bend in his nose proof the man was no saint, but the single dimple of his cheek and the faint one on his chin gave the illusion of boyish charm.
This man was no angel, but deep down, there was a goodness in him that shone through his eyes.
“Thanks for helping Nat this week. It meant a lot,” Gabriel said as he signed, halting the visual tour and fantasy movie playing in Ben’s head.
“It’s my job,” he signed, then shrugged. “She’s good to me. I like working with her.”
Gabriel shook his head as he sat up in bed. “It’s more than that. The way you kept her on track all week. She’s always been very independent and hates asking for help. But you knew when to step in and when to let her be.” He leaned forward, closer to the screen. “Must be the power of observation.”
Heat rushed to Ben’s cheeks. “People usually don’t like it when I stare,” he signed. He shyly glanced up at the screen, waiting for Gabriel’s response.
“Because people hide things. Makes it tough to do when someone is watching you closely. I’m guessing you pick up on a lot from the things people don’t say.” Gabriel returned his steady stare with one of his own, his face so close to his laptop camera it almost filled the entire display. “For the record, I like it when you stare at me. Especially when your mind goes into that secret place that makes you blush.”
His cheeks were going to ignite.
“Just like that.” Gabriel sucked in his bottom lip and slowly rolled his tongue over the tender flesh, leaving his bottom lip glistening.
Ben’s lips parted as he tried taking in as much air as possible to cool the rising heat in his body. There was so much he wanted to do and feel. He looked away and screwed his eyes shut, willing the heat in his body to fade. Glancing back at the screen, he tried disguising his worry at the concern staring back at him.
“I’m sorry,” Gabriel signed as he spoke. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“You didn’t,” Ben signed. He chewed his lip, remembering Gabriel had only ever asked him for honesty. “You’ve become a good friend. I don’t want to lose that.”
“Okay.” Gabriel swallowed heavily and nodded. His gaze held so much emotion, the control and restraint obvious in his gaze. “Is that all you want?”
He shook his head.
“Scared or worried?”
“Both,” he signed in response. He was totally riding this honesty train to wherever it led.
“What scares and worries you most?” Gabriel asked as he signed, the smooth motion of his hands was slow and careful as the intensity in his gaze softened.
Ben looked away as his eyes burned. Everything is temporary. His chin quivered as he fought for control. The thought that Gabriel was different kept tugging at him, but his past had left a mark he couldn’t ignore. Glancing back at the screen, he stared at Gabriel’s patient face.
He wanted permanent.
And he was tired of life taking things away from him.
He pinned Gabriel with a hard stare as he signed his response. “I don’t want to risk what we have.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Gabriel signed.
Ben shook his head, his hand motions hard and sharp. “Everyone leaves. My dad, my mom, probably even my sister. I have a few friends now, but you…this…” He waved his hand between them. “This is the most honest friendship I’ve ever had.” He blew out a frustrated breath, then another. “I want more. But I’m scared to lose what we have for something that won’t work.”
“Why do you think it won’t work?”
Maybe he should sign off from video and revert to texting. It was a whole heck of a lot easier to hide behind a few typed words. He couldn’t disguise shit during their video chats, especially with Gabriel’s twisted sixth sense that didn’t miss details. Screw it, he had promised to be honest. He would take the embarrassment of revealing a truth over the disappointment
of getting caught in a lie any day. He finally peeked up through his lashes, his heart pounding a brutal concert in his chest at Gabriel’s patient, but watchful, stare. “No one’s ever wanted to be with me that way,” Ben signed. “I guess it’s too hard.”
“Not for me.”
The response came without a nanosecond of hesitation. Damn Gabriel for saying everything right. Ben’s eyes burned, wishing…hoping this time was different. Like his old stuffed bunny, there had been too many broken memories and pieces patched together over the years. He put up a good front, always trying to find the sun peeking through the cloudy sky. But the seams holding everything together weakened each time life kicked him in the balls and pushed him down.
He blinked away the blur in his eyes, focusing his gaze on the concerned man staring back at him. He didn’t know how to respond. He wanted him…this…everything.
“How about…” Gabriel said, tilting his head to the side as he slowly signed. “We take things slow. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, then it doesn’t.”
Ben blew out a shaky breath. Nothing was guaranteed, life had taught him that hard lesson. Even friendships were temporary. He might have issues with saying no and not wanting to disappoint others, but that hadn’t stopped that tiny tug in the back of his mind warning him when something had been wrong.
This time though, there was no tug, no waving flag, and no warning lights flashing. He waited for them. Willed them to make an appearance so he wouldn’t risk this closeness that meant so much to him.
But nothing came.
Finally feeling as if he could take a full breath, he nodded.
“If you want to stare at me, go ahead and stare.”
Ben’s lips twitched with the beginnings of a smile.
“If you want to think about me in that secret place in your head that makes you blush, go ahead. I’m totally cool with that.”
He couldn’t have fought the rising fire in his cheeks if he tried.
Gabriel remained silent for a moment, watching Ben’s every reaction. A mix of emotions swirled in those rich brown eyes, the gaze revealing far more than any signed words. “Don’t lie about what you feel or what you want. Not to me and not to yourself. If you want to go slow, then a snail will race by us.”
He slapped his hand over his mouth to silence the bubble of laughter that escaped.
The smile slid off Gabriel’s face in an instant. “I heard that,” he slowly signed.
Ben crossed his arms and looked away. Crap. He hadn’t realized he had let his guard down. His voice box was intact, but he controlled every whisper of sound when possible. Dammit. He absently rocked back and forth in the chair, debating if he should disconnect the video call. He returned his attention to the screen. Gabriel hadn’t moved, patiently waiting for Ben to make the next move. Ben uncrossed his arms and signed, “I won’t speak.”
The nod surprised him.
Growing up, everyone had pushed him to speak. Repeatedly. It hadn’t gone well.
The waving hand across the screen pulled Ben from his spiraling thoughts.
“It’s your choice,” Gabriel said as he signed. Ben froze, waiting for the argument that always surfaced when someone asked if he could speak. But all that followed was Gabriel’s understanding gaze. “You want to go to sleep or do you still want to put up with me a while longer?”
Bless this man and his skill for knowing exactly when to change the subject.
He pointed to the screen. He was both physically and emotionally exhausted, but he preferred losing a few hours of sleep rather than his time with Gabriel.
“Tell me about your last job,” Ben signed.
Gabriel raised an eyebrow. He leaned closer to the screen, speaking his next words without signing. “You want to hear about how they tried to kick my ass and how some guy cut me?”
When he put it like that, Ben wasn’t sure he wanted to know all those details. “I want to hear about your…” He scowled and looked away. He dug his teeth into his bottom lip, trying to think of the right sign but nothing came to mind. Blowing out a sigh, he grabbed his phone off the mini tripod and typed out a message in the chat window. I don’t know the sign for “badassery.” I know “bad” and “donkey” but “bad donkey” isn’t the same.
The huge beaming smile staring back at him pulled him from his frustration. “Gramps didn’t use that phrase, so I don’t know that one either.” Gabriel spoke as he signed, the grin still lingering in his expression. “The sign for tough guy would probably work the same.”
Ben sent a text message rather than signing his response. Badassery is cooler.
Gabriel threw his head back and laughed. Ben wished he were close enough to feel the vibrations of his throat again…to feel that beautiful song Gabriel sang for him. After the laugh seemed to fade, Gabriel playfully stared at him. “It was a three-month job. It could take all night.”
Ben shrugged. Perfect.
“Are you just going to watch me while I talk and sign.”
He nodded, biting back a grin. He had mastered the pervy stare. He could totally rock it for a few hours.
Gabriel leaned forward. “It could get boring. Want me to take my shirt off to keep it interesting?”
Ben shook his head. “Not if you expect me to pay attention to anything you’re saying,” he signed.
Gabriel’s lips tightened, but the playfulness in his expression was obvious. He nodded and leaned back in his bed, talking and signing about his last three-month job during the holidays, playing bodyguard for a diplomat’s family.
Ben paid attention to most of what Gabriel signed and spoke, but there were moments when the movements of those large hands across the screen had his mind wandering. As the hours ticked by, he waited for that mental tug to make an appearance or for a warning flag or light to flash in his mind, steering him away from the man on the other side of the video screen.
Nothing ever appeared.
But even if it had, he wasn’t sure he would care.
Bull extended his arms above his head and stretched his body like a cat. Cracking his neck side to side, he stole a glance at the clock on the nightstand. He had slept in most of the morning. Not surprising with the late-night chat going into the early morning hours, but he wouldn’t trade his time with Ben for anything.
He couldn’t get enough of that shy smile or the way that green gaze pierced something deep within his soul. And that damn flush of color that stained those cheeks was going to drive him all the way back to rabid puberty. But it was the honesty that struck Bull most. Even when it seemed to trigger a painful memory.
Resting his head against the pillow, he closed his eyes, remembering the timbre of Ben’s laughter. Damn that sound had been beautiful.
Unguarded and completely free-spirited.
Happy.
Like the bright blazing sun making its appearance after a rainstorm. He wanted more but refused to push. Especially not this soon and certainly not this close to Valentine’s Day. He wouldn’t be that person, shouting about forevers and picket fences when Ben had only just agreed to give this thing between them a chance. That was a surefire way of killing things before they ever had a chance to start. He could be patient. Hopefully he didn’t die of blue balls in the process.
He reached for his phone on the nightstand, needing to check his emails. Scrolling through, one message caught his eye—Anthony, head of security for Davenport Holdings, rarely emailed him over the weekend. He sat up in bed and scrubbed his face as he placed a call.
“Morning, Bull,” Anthony said after the second ring.
“What’s up? I saw your message.”
“Sorry to bother you on a Sunday. Are you available for an airport escort to and from with a few days of security in between for Rachel?”
“Why is she traveling alone?” He blew out a frustrated breath as he stood and began pacing the room.
“She’s coming in from Milan.”
Bull stopped and pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Why does she insist on doing that?” International trips were always a solo mission for her, with the long flights giving her time to think and clear her mind. He wished she would break that damn habit. The head of one of the largest international hotel chains should not travel without protection. Especially when they stuck to a routine. Habits and rituals were a breeding ground for security breaches.
“Because she loves to stress us out,” Anthony said, his tone equally frustrated. “She wasn’t sure if you were back to work after your Chicago gig, so she promised to stay low-key while in Miami. But she’s got to travel up to the West Palm and Orlando offices for a few meetings. Not sure how low-key she can be. I can fly over there and meet her if you’re not available.”
“I’ll handle it. It’s part of our arrangement.”
Bull looked out his bedroom window, his mind easily recalling a conversation from five years ago in this very room.
“Consider it yours. You need a place to call home,” Rachel had told him.
The thought of living somewhere with a panoramic view of the ocean was tempting as hell. “My work requires a lot of travel time. Hard to plant roots if I’m in different parts of the world from one week to the next,” Bull had argued.
“Exactly why you need a steady place. Even ships need a dock.”
He had wistfully stared out at the view, admiring the crashing waves below and the endless sea of blue.
“I’ll make it easy for you. In exchange for this penthouse suite, you work with Anthony to handle my security. Consider it your retainer so you’re on call when we need you.”
It was the same work he had done for her late husband. Aside from bodyguard duties when he traveled, Bull established security protocols for Mr. Davenport’s global team, performed security assessments on all new potential properties, and periodic evaluations for existing ones. He offered suggestions and a plan, but unlike Mr. Davenport, Rachel responded with debates and revisions. As with most negotiations, she usually won and on her terms. Arguing with Rachel was pointless, years of experience had taught him that. And since the building was close to Nat, he’d chosen to conserve his energy for a fight he could win.