by Jaime Reese
Across from the bed was a flat-screen television mounted on the wall and a long dresser beneath it, with a scattering of items on the dresser’s surface including a few framed photos. Ben traced his fingertips along the dresser’s edge until he reached the end where the framed pictures sat. He easily recognized the younger versions of Gabriel and Aidan together in the photograph, both in uniform. It had obviously been taken during their time in service many years ago. Still strong and fearless back then with just as much determination in their expressions. His gaze wandered to the second framed photograph. He pointed and turned, smiling as he waited for Gabriel to respond.
“Yeah. That was my grandfather.” Gabriel neared and pointed to the other faces in the photo. “And that’s Mom and Dad with me and Nat.”
The tension in Gabriel’s body was evident as he stared at the picture. His grandfather and mother had both passed but had left him with a lifetime of happy memories he often shared during their video chats. It was obvious their generous nature and kindness had shaped him into the man he was. But the wedge between him and his father had deepened over the years without his peacemaker mother to bridge the chasm.
He bit his lip at the last picture frame with two narrow strips of photo booth pics they had taken while at the fair.
Ben stepped away from the photographs. He didn’t want to get misty eyed and he definitely didn’t want Gabriel dwelling on his family pics. He poked his head in the en suite bathroom, his eyes rounding.
The bathroom was white but accented with light gray tones on the walls and flooring. Everything looked bright and the mix of tones made it elegant and classy. To his left, there was a long countertop with dual sinks beneath a huge horizontal mirror. Directly across from it, on his right, was a large tub raised on a marble platform in front of the floor-to-ceiling window overlooking the ocean. Toward the back wall, shielded by solid walls except for the large glass doors facing him, stood the largest shower enclosure Ben had ever imagined.
He spun on the ball of his foot. “It’s huge!” he signed, his gestures as big and exaggerated as the shower.
Gabriel chuckled. “It’s one of the reasons I love this place and why I miss it when I travel. I hate elbowing the door when I’m in the shower.”
Ben swallowed heavily when Gabriel took a step closer.
“I’m guessing two people could shower in there and still be comfortable.”
He couldn’t respond. He couldn’t move. Not only from Gabriel’s closeness, but his words were telling. “You haven’t had anyone here before?”
Gabriel shook his head. “Hopefully soon.”
He hid a smile as he looked out the large window by the tub. That’s one heck of a peep show for anyone looking into the bathroom. Fingers brushing his arm drew his attention.
“The entire building has privacy film on their windows. From the outside, people just see a reflection. No one can see inside.”
He loved how Gabriel seemed to read his thoughts. He willingly followed when Gabriel took his hand and led them back into the bedroom. He gestured toward the big bed. “Have a seat. Let’s talk about your lease terms.”
He must have misread his lips. He pulled out his phone from his back pocket and typed out a quick note. Lease?
Gabriel nodded as he sat beside him. “I know you’re expecting one, so we need to figure out what’ll work for you. I know you want to support yourself, but I can’t split expenses I’m not paying.”
Ben nodded, everything finally making sense as he connected the dots. Gabriel had mentioned his mortgage was covered as part of his employment agreement. He knew of Gabriel’s work with Davenport and how Rachel’s deceased husband had been a long-time friend and boss.
“It’s a hotel. So I don’t even have utilities to pay. There’s groceries, gas, stuff like that. We can split those if it makes you more comfortable. Or just figure out who’ll cover what. Anything you want.”
Ben placed his hand on Gabriel’s knee, his fingers twitching. He swallowed heavily, hoping he had read the sign correctly. “What do you want?”
“I want you to be happy and not worried about where you’re going to live.” A shy smile pulled the corners of Gabriel’s mouth. “But I won’t lie. I want you here. With me.”
Living together was a big step. Ben wanted things to happen naturally, not forced by some timetable or circumstance. But after stepping into Gabriel’s home and feeling the soothing peace in his heart, there wasn’t a doubt in his mind this was where he was meant to be.
He glanced over his shoulder toward the door, frowning when a sudden thought crossed his mind. Turning back toward Gabriel, he cocked his head as he signed. “Julian dropped me off at the entrance. Should I text him to come up?”
“He left. I promised I would have you back by curfew.”
Ben absently nodded, the realization they were completely alone took a moment to sink in. He wasn’t an expert, but he was pretty damn sure they could do a whole heck of a lot in three hours. He glanced around the big bedroom as he rubbed his jean-covered thighs. His breathing sped as a series of images flashed through his mind.
So many fantasies.
So many things he wanted to do.
A large hand on his knee stilled his thoughts. “Should I guess where your mind went?”
“I’m sitting on your bed, in a building that looks like a shiny penis. I think you know where my mind went.”
Gabriel leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips. “Don’t be nervous.”
“Not nervous.” He stared at Gabriel’s large hand on him, wondering how they would feel traveling along his body. Gripping him. Pinning him to the mattress.
Holding him against the wall.
In a chair.
On his desk.
In that damn big shower.
Anywhere.
His imagination ran out of control with a million new questions filling his mind.
He wondered if all of Gabriel was big and bold.
If he was an ass man.
Did he like slow and soft, or fast and hard.
He wanted to know the answer to every question. Firsthand.
His chest heaved with each harsh breath as he rubbed his thighs. His gaze traveled up those strong forearms, to those thick biceps, and across that broad chest stretching the black T-shirt.
The smile splitting Gabriel’s face made his heart thump harder. “Not tonight,” Gabriel signed, stealing his attention.
Ben couldn’t hold back the scowl.
“I’ve got to drop you off in less than three hours.” He pressed a slow kiss to Ben’s lips, lingering close enough to share the same breath but far enough where Ben could still read his lips. “We’re pulling an all-nighter when you’re ready.”
Gabriel looked away and bit his lip. There was a moment of hesitation before he returned his gaze to Ben. “I know you’ve mastered the power of the word no, but I’m really hoping for a yes to moving in.”
Ben nodded as he fingerspelled y-e-s. “On one condition.” He waited, punctuating the importance of what he wanted. Gabriel’s stoic steadiness had become a constant Ben relied on as he slowly figured out his place in the world. Unlike others, Gabriel hadn’t tried to change him or coddle him. He had given him enough unconditional support to allow him to be himself without worry. It was freeing and empowering. As if Ben had suddenly sprouted a pair of wings and was pushed from the nest to explore the world, discover his own strengths, and demand life give him what he wanted in return.
And right now, he knew exactly what he wanted.
“I’m not sleeping in the second bedroom. I’m moving in. With you.”
He almost fell back onto the bed when Gabriel captured his mouth with bruising force. He gripped Gabriel’s face for purchase as a strong arm wrapped around his waist and pulled him over onto Gabriel’s lap. He parted his lips on a gasp with the quick movement, a little surprised by the sudden shift, but far more excited. With his knees bracketing Gabriel’s legs and his arms firmly w
rapped around Gabriel’s neck, he pushed their bodies together as he deepened the kiss. Wanting. Demanding. Gripping the back of Gabriel’s hair, he turned and angled his head exactly where he wanted Gabriel to be as he sucked his tongue with more fervor.
A firm squeeze to his ass caught his attention. Pulling back from the kiss, he stared into those rich brown eyes as he ghosted a finger along the side of Gabriel’s face and down his neck.
“I want you,” Gabriel said, speaking slowly, refusing to release his handful of Ben’s ass to sign his words. “So much.” He pressed their foreheads together, his shaky breath breezing across Ben’s heated skin.
Ben cupped Gabriel’s face, awed by the control battling with the desire and need. Behind that control, he swore he saw something deeper. He couldn’t stop the hope from blooming in his heart. He lowered his head, trusting he had read Gabriel correctly.
“I’m yours,” he signed, keeping his head down.
A finger under his chin pulled his face up, forcing him to make eye contact. There was so much said in Gabriel’s gaze. Ben recognized the trust. And the hope was just as bright and commanding. But so was the fear, proving Ben wasn’t the only one who had been betrayed by those around him.
Or the only one taking a chance with his heart.
“And I’m yours,” Gabriel said before sealing the declaration with a kiss. Ben placed his hand at the side of Gabriel’s neck, sighing into the kiss when the moan vibrated against his palm. His lips parted in surrender, giving in to every emotion swirling in his heart and the hope blooming in his chest.
A firm arm around his waist held him in place as they shifted on the bed, the soft mattress pillowing against his back.
He fought for each breath as Gabriel peppered kisses along his cheeks and features. It was a drugging feeling. Floating yet grounded. Fantasizing while firmly planted smack in the middle of reality.
Gabriel hovered over him, speaking as he rested his weight on his forearms, granting a little distance between them so Ben could sign his reply. “What do you want to do?”
A chuckle bubbled up Ben’s throat. “Everything.” The smile on Gabriel’s face likely mirrored his own. Ben bit his lip, his cheeks heating with a thought. A truth. “You never say it, but I know you like it when I make the first move.”
The spark of playfulness glinting back at him in that steady gaze was the confirmation he needed.
“Show me so I know what to do the next time.”
He laughed when Gabriel instantly grabbed the hem of Ben’s T-shirt and yanked it up and over his head. Pitching it to the side, Gabriel quickly did the same with his own. Ben reached out and flattened his hands on Gabriel’s body, touching every exposed inch of his skin. The muscles were firm, his skin warm and soft. Just as he had fantasized they would be. He locked his legs around Gabriel’s waist and arched his body up into him, teasing him, wanting to shatter that control screaming from Gabriel’s firm gaze.
Gabriel hovered over him with his hands fisted in the sheets, his nostrils flaring with each breath. Ben pushed his body up and into Gabriel again, challenging him, silently demanding more. He mentally fist-pumped the moment Gabriel buried his face at the crook of Ben’s neck, kissing, licking, and sucking on his skin.
Ben threw his head back onto the pillow and stretched his neck. Every swipe of Gabriel’s tongue against his skin shot another bolt of need to his heart and kindled the fire between them. He dug his fingers into Gabriel’s hair and thrust his hips up into Gabriel’s body, seeking friction, pulling him closer as he sucked in a breath through his gritted teeth. He groaned with the nip at his shoulder, then with the suction at the base of his neck.
He would have a mark tomorrow. Maybe two.
Dammit, he wanted three or more.
He gripped Gabriel’s face and pulled him into a kiss. Biting, licking, and sucking as he slid their bodies together, desperately searching for something to tame the wildfire racing through his veins. He couldn’t think. He couldn’t sign. A whimper tore through his throat as he dug his fingers into Gabriel’s firm backside, pulling him closer, needing something to cool the aching heat burning his body.
Gabriel pulled back and held Ben’s face, centering him in that very moment. Ben stared into those rich brown eyes, begging for relief. For understanding.
“Do you trust me?”
He rapidly nodded.
“If you want to stop, we stop. Just tap my head.”
His mind was in a fog as his lips pressed against Gabriel’s in a desperate kiss. He swore another whimper escaped him when Gabriel backed away.
“Up,” Gabriel said.
Ben raised his butt off the bed when Gabriel tugged at his jeans, pulling them and his underwear down his legs and off his body. He lay bare on the bed, staring at a still-partially dressed Gabriel. As if in a trance, Gabriel licked his lips and leaned forward, pressing a trail of slow, teasing kisses down Ben’s chest. Two large hands braced him as another kiss pressed against his lower stomach.
He held his breath…
Waiting.
Hoping.
Warm wetness engulfed him, sucking on him as the firm grip held him in place. He screwed his eyes shut and pushed his head back into the pillow, gasping a breath with each pull of Gabriel’s mouth on him. Fantasy puzzles be damned. Nothing could have prepared him for the blissful battle waging war in his body.
He took a few breaths, mentally backing away from the cliff’s edge, refusing to let this end so soon. Glancing down his body, his heart swelled at the vision of Gabriel’s mouth on him. His fingers itched to touch him…to hold him. He gasped when that heavy-lidded gaze peered up at him, the desire unmistakable. The warm pressure around him tightened. He fell back onto the bed with a groan, surrendering. His heart thundered with Gabriel’s quickening motion. His toes curled as Gabriel stroked him with greater force.
Faster, harder.
The touch on his skin, the wetness and heat surrounding him, and the moans vibrating against his flesh. Everything worked in concert to shove him back to that cliff’s edge. Gasping each breath, he twisted the sheets as his body writhed.
It was too much.
He held Gabriel’s head and thrust his body into his face, yelling his release while everything around him exploded into a white flash of light.
A blanket of calmness enveloped him, evaporating every ounce of tension from his body. His breathing slowed, almost settling to its usual rhythm. He was surrounded by utter peace and perfection, weightless and floating on his back, adrift in pure bliss. Soft strokes through his hair and kisses peppered to his cheeks and temple pulled him ashore. With barely enough strength in his body, he opened his eyes, smiling as Gabriel stared at him.
“If you come like that from a blow job, I can’t wait to see what happens when I’m inside you.”
He turned into Gabriel’s arm, smiling as he pressed a kiss to his warm skin. Gabriel tucked his finger under Ben’s chin and turned his face back up toward him as he spoke. “Get some rest, and then we’ll eat something before I drop you off. Okay?”
He nodded, not even having the strength or desire to sign a reply. He snuggled closer as Gabriel pressed a kiss to his temple and pulled the sheet over his bare body. He couldn’t fight the grin when strong arms wrapped around him and a large hand possessively rested on his ass.
That was one question answered.
Gabriel was definitely an ass man.
After the last check of every corner of the room, Ben returned to the open duffel bag on his bed and zipped it shut. Smiling, he grabbed his small plush bull from the nightstand and tucked it under his arm as he slung the bag over his other shoulder.
He stopped at the threshold and turned, scanning the bedroom one last time. This place, this house, and these men had been good to him. They had welcomed him and given him a second chance, even a third. He owed it to them to not return.
At least, not because he had to.
He whipped around, startled by the tap to his should
er.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to make you jump,” Calvin said. “Let me take that.” Taking the bag from Ben’s shoulder, Calvin effortlessly held it in his grip as they both headed downstairs.
Ben patted Calvin’s back, not sure of what else to do or what degree of contact was acceptable for a goodbye.
“Did you get everything?” Julian asked as Calvin set the duffel bag on the couch. “Bull should be here any minute.”
Ben set the small plush toy on his bag and nodded, feeling a sudden swell of emotions rise in his chest. Leaving Halfway House a second time was much harder than he had anticipated.
“Everything’s going to be fine,” Matt signed. A second later, Ben was wrapped in Matt’s caring embrace.
He screwed his eyes shut and tucked his face into Matt’s hold. He wrapped his arms around Matt and held on, trying to lessen the burn in his eyes. But Julian’s strong, steady hand behind his neck nearly broke his resolve. He balled Matt’s shirt in his fist as he pulled him close, burying his face in Matt’s shoulder, refusing to break free of the awkward embrace sandwiching Matt between him and Julian.
Comforting strokes on his back soothed him. He didn’t like being treated so carefully. But in that moment, he relished it, knowing it was driven by affection and not pity.
The strong hand slid away and Matt slowly retreated. “If you ever need anything,” Matt said as he signed. “We’re here for you. You know that.”
Ben nodded as a second wave of emotions threatened to weaken him. He wasn’t going to cave. He couldn’t. He glanced up at Julian. The stoic man stared at him, not saying or signing a single word. The corner of his mouth twitched, and a hint of a barely there nod ended the unspoken conversation and confirmed Matt’s words. Something to their right drew Matt and Julian’s attention.
“He’s here,” Matt said.
A tap to his shoulder had him turning.
He stared at Calvin, watching a play of emotions pass through that hard expression. The tears welled in Ben’s eyes as a smile lingered on his lips. There were few people in his life who had proven to be genuine friends. Calvin had become one of them.