“What are y’all doing?” Isaac asked, panicking. “Get back to work! She’s dying!” Isaac’s denial of this new reality was a normal reaction to the shock of losing a loved one. He refused to believe what he already heard with his own ears -- the medical team announced and recorded the exact time of his beloved wife’s departure. He moved back and forth, impatient and anxious; he wept bitter tears as he babbled, trying to find the words to command the staff to continue working to save her.
“Sir,” the doctor began, finally able to approach him with appropriate sympathy, now that the frenzied work was over and his efforts failed, “the infection simply caused too much damage, there was nothing else we could do. She’s gone now. I’m so sorry.” He tried to comfort Isaac, placing his hand upon the grieving man’s shoulder. Frowning, he watched the husband nestle himself around his dead wife’s bed.
Dr. Slaughter allowed himself to truly consider how Isaac must feel. His entire world has been taken from him and there’s no medicine that could have changed the fate of his woman. The fight was over long ago. There’s nothing left to do.
“No! It can’t be! My love, my Susan! Please, baby, please don’t go. Don’t leave me here alone.” Isaac reached for her shoulder and head, taking them in his hands with tearful eyes as he stared down onto her blurry lifeless body. He searched the monitors, finding only flat lines and the absence of any vital measures. “She’s not dead…can’t be…she was just here. Please, there’s got to be something you can do. You can just shock her again, or something, surely? Please, doc!"
“I’m sorry, Isaac.” The captain stepped up and patted his shoulder, standing beside him, unwilling to wrestle him away any longer.
“Unity, you promised to fix us!” Isaac cried, holding his head against Susan’s. He touched her skin, feeling the tacky plasma and other clear fluids that leaked from it. He could detect the warmth of life leaving her body as well; her skin already going cold. “Please, Susan, babe…please come back to me!”
The captain gazed upon his officer with sadness, frowning and listening as Isaac addressed Unity directly, unsure how to judge the situation. The doctor pulled the curtain to allow him the necessary privacy to grieve in the room.
“I don’t get it. It’s all so meaningless!”
“What do you mean?”
“She was so excited about becoming a mother. We got approved for a baby and everything seemed to be working to our favor -- for once. And now...now she’s…gone. What the hell for? Obeying the law? Where’s the justice in that? Those damn Zealots killed her and I wasn’t even there to at least die with her. I shouldn’t have left without her…left to fetch those IDs.”
“You had no way of knowing, Isaac. None of us knew.”
“Neither did Unity. Some ‘god’ he is,” Isaac made air quotes as he spat out the word ‘god’, “allowing it all to happen.”
“I had nothing to do with it, Isaac. My condolences.” Unity’s even, calm voice sounded almost patronizing.
“Shut your lyin’ mouth!” Isaac snarled as he spat the words out sharply.
“Who are you talking to?”
Isaac didn't answer his captain. He just wanted to stay there and hold his wife's body. Oh, how he wished she wasn’t covered in burns and bandages. He wanted to look upon her as she really looked as she was before all this happened -- before her beauty had been cooked away.
“And I’ve been robbed of a true farewell, unable to see her as I knew her.” Isaac cried loudly enough for the staff down the hall to hear him. It wasn’t out of the ordinary. The same sounds and noises of human grief resonated daily throughout the unit. “How am I to say goodbye to a face I no longer recognize?”
“I’m going to step out. You take your time, okay? No rush.” The captain exited the room and pulled the sliding door closed, in addition to the curtain hanging there. This muted Isaac’s unashamed wailing somewhat, but did not silence it; the man’s moans of pain and agony carried through the wood and glass.
…
“Remove her bandages, uncover her face, Isaac.”
“Why?” Isaac asked, afraid to see the extent of her injuries. The nurses debrided much of the burnt flesh, immediately upon her arrival, leaving only the raw and weeping skin. He wasn’t willing to see it. I just don’t think I can handle the sight of it, he thought, as he resisted Unity’s order to unravel the dressings.
“I’m giving you what you’ve asked for.” Unity’s voice was almost emotional this time, soft to Isaac’s ears, “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to prevent that bombing, but I’m going to give you the goodbye you deserve.”
Isaac did as tell and began to unravel the bandages covering Susan’s shaved head. They were heavy and wet with lymph fluid and plasma. Her beautifully thick, red hair appeared to miraculously return and the burns were gone, healed -- and no scars remained to hint of any past injury at all.
“Wha…wha-wha-what is this? What’s happening?” he shouted, his continuous weeping interrupted by the miraculous sight.
“I’m giving her an overlay in your Visum, I’m rendering her as you knew her. I’m sorry I’m not able to resurrect her. This is the best I can do for now.”
“She’s beautiful. Thank you. God, thank you Unity! You have no idea what this means to me,” he gushed, marveling at her magnificence. The color of her skin shifted from red to a healthy blushed flesh tone and she looked as if she had only been sleeping. Even the make-up she typically wore to go out or for appearing in photos made its way onto her face. “My poor love, Susan. I’m so sorry I left that day. I’m sorry for it all. I should have hunted down every last one before such a thing could happen. It’s my fault! Oh no! It’s my fault, Unity!” His tears fell like rain upon her unwrapped wounds, which appeared as abundantly healthy, unscathed flesh.
What he touched didn’t match what he saw. He could feel with his hands the burns covering her once pristine skin and the absence of her hair, but the sight allowed him to ignore this reality. He could almost imagine her curly red hair tickling his face as he held her tightly and close to his chest.
The captain peeked in on him from the room’s window that faced the wide and long hospital corridor. A set of blinds covering it could be controlled from the outside, allowing him to do so briefly and discreetly. What he saw disturbed him greatly and he immediately closed them to block the view.
“I wish I could just hear her voice again. I wish she could tell me she was leaving and that all is okay.”
“It’s alright, honey. I’m no longer in any pain. I’m at peace, now.”
“What? What was that?” Isaac looked around in panic, turning his head this way and that.
“Is this not what you wanted?” Susan’s voice asked from within his Auris.
“No, it’s perfect. It sounds just like…you.” Isaac stammered wiping tears from his bloodshot eyes and snot from his face. Oh, how he had longed just to hear the sound of her voice during all of those hours spent in silent vigil beside her bed. And now it rang clearly in his ears -- the sound he hadn’t heard since the day of the bombing.
“I love you and I want you to know that I think you’re still going to make a great dad. She’ll be made up of all the good parts of you and of me together and I’ll live on in her. Take good care of our daughter, when she comes, Isaac.”
“Will you promise to be there? Will you stay?” Isaac begged, nodding his head as he looked over her perfectly unblemished face.
“I’ll never leave you again, honey. And I forgive you. There’s no way you could have had any way of knowing. But one thing you can do -- you can avenge me. You can make it right.”
Unity wasted no time in immediately utilizing Susan’s persona to manipulate Isaac. The man remained unaware of the invisible puppet strings now controlling him through Unity’s clever and cruel ruse. Truth is, even if Isaac had some realization of the manipulation, it’s likely he would enter into a sort of willful blindness so he could continue to bask in Susan’s presence. To have her s
weet voice continue to coo at him and ring in his ears acted as a balm for his broken heart.
“I will. I will make it right. I’m going to make sure this never happens to anyone else, ever. I love you, Susan. I love you so so so much, God, it hurts. It really hurts. My heart’s been ripped from my chest. It’s the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced. I’m going to take it, take all this pain, and force it all upon those bastards -- every last one of them until they beg for the mercy of death. I’ll make them forget their God and their dead saints and force them to bow to me on their last day.” Isaac clenched his hands tightly around Susan’s empty body. “I will make every last one of them pay for it with their blood. It will spill out of them for you, Susan.” He rubbed his head against hers.
“I would be so proud if you did that.”
“Please, just promise again you’ll never leave me. Stay, just like this. Please. I can’t lose you again. My heart beats, but I’m dead without you.”
“I won’t go anywhere.”
“I just wish I never had to leave this bedside. Wish I could stay here with you forever. Wish I could take you with me.”
“I will be with you, anywhere you go. However, you must arrange to have my body cremated.” Unity flawlessly portrayed every single aspect of Susan’s personality, desires, and life. He had immediate access to everything she had ever posted online, to every email she wrote and replied to, every voicemail she left, and every single text message she fired off to others.
He acted as the effective ruler of the people -- like a god, if not the god -- and could use every piece of information about this golden couple. He knew every detail about their first date from the social media check-ins and greedily gathered up electronic evidence of all the trips they had taken together. All of Susan’s photos -- from her childhood to her adulthood, from innocent pictures to lewd layouts -- sat safely in cyberspace for Unity’s application and use.
“Please,” Isaac whined, his tears dripping again from his swollen eyes, “don’t force me to think about that right now, honey. It hurts. Just pretend with me that your heart never stopped…just pretend, please. Do it for me, or my heart might just stop itself as well.”
Isaac wasn’t aware that his hand pressed against the nurse call, allowing the captain and everyone at the nurse’s station to hear him conversing with Susan’s corpse. They couldn’t hear Unity speaking, in the voice of Susan or at all, so they assumed he may be having a psychotic break. The captain told them that the officer was simply sleep-deprived.
…
“Isaac,” the captain called, as he rolled the door open, “are you okay?” He recoiled a bit at the sight of Isaac rubbing himself against his wife’s corpse. This behavior deeply disturbed him and the others who entered with him.
“No, I’m not. What do you think, Cap? What kind of idiot question is that?”
“Isaac, we think you’re done here…”
“I’m not leaving her,” Isaac snarled at them as he spoke. He was like an angry animal, protecting the burrow he made.
“You’ve sat here for over an hour. They’ve got new critical patients arriving and they need the space.”
“Well, I’m not finished yet.”
“It’s okay, honey. I’ll go with you, anywhere you go, I’ll be there. Remember? I’m not restricted to this body any longer.”
“No, Susan, I don’t want to leave you,” Isaac responded aloud, turning to her corpse, forgetting the rest of them.
“Isaac, they don't think you're well. They want to do a psych eval on you,” the captain explained, gripping his shoulder and standing above him.
“Screw off, Cap.”
“At least go home and get some sleep. You haven’t slept in days, have you?”
“I’m fine, I tell you!” Isaac barked out his words, throwing the captain’s hand off of him again.
His boss made a motion with his fingers, signaling a squad of officers in to escort him out. Four of them came through the door slowly and approached the grieving man. “Make this easy for us, Isaac,” one of them said, placing his hand on him.
“Go with them, Isaac. We’ll be separated if they take you. You don’t want to lose me again, do you? I wouldn’t be able to talk to you if they placed you in the ward.” Unity’s portrayal of Susan became filled with sadness, so much so that to Isaac it didn’t matter anymore. At this point, to him, Unity actually was Susan and he believed her every word. It was an easy fiction to accept, a comforting one that required very little imagination on his part. He stood slowly from the bedside, great grief rolling onto him in waves as he started to depart from it.
“I’ll kill all of you if you touch me again,” he warned in an ominous tone, turning to the rest of them. The captain walked with him and the officers followed them in a tight knot.
“I’m going to place you on leave, just until things settle down a bit. You don't need the added stress of work right now. You really need to get some rest," his boss informed him as the sliding doors opened at the front of the hospital.
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not. And the fact that you think you are is solid verification that you actually are not, indeed, fine. Your wife just died and you've been talking to yourself. If you don't go home and get some rest, I'm going to check you into a psychiatric facility."
"Yeah, whatever you say," Isaac relented, remembering what would happen if he were checked into a psych ward. "I'll get some sleep, then I'll be good as new."
“The boys are going to drive you home, Isaac. Don’t need you on the road, being so tired and all.” The squad car pulled up to the curb of the hospital entrance.
“I’m fine to drive myself, actually.”
“You’re not, please. They’ll take you straight home.” The captain opened the backdoor for him. “I’ll be sure to inform the car you came in to deliver itself into your driveway.”
Isaac didn’t like the idea of riding in the back seat. He didn’t trust their intentions. “I’ll sit in the front. And if they try to take me anywhere other than my house, I won’t be responsible for what happens to them.”
“Sound good, boys?”
“Yeah, sounds fine. I’ll get in the back.” One of the officers jumped out of the passenger seat and entered the back of the vehicle.
“Hey, Isaac,” his captain called just before Isaac entered the front of the car.
“Yeah?”
“I’m truly sorry for all that happened. She was an angel. Didn’t deserve it. She was an amazing person and I hate it for you. I can’t conceive what you’re going through. So, don’t be a stranger. Anytime you need me, I’m here. I know I’m just your boss or whatev-”
Isaac tried to hold his composure as he erupted into tears, embracing his boss, forgetting all the recent anger he had built up toward him. The captain awkwardly held him. He had never seen Isaac so emotional about anything before that day. The pain wasn’t shy and presented itself to anyone Isaac came in contact with. His face alone appeared as though it had never known a smile or a joyful moment. His eyes were dark and bloodshot with bags belying a lack of sleep underneath them. Lines stretched over his forehead, vestiges of the recent days filled with intense worry. The newly widowed man seemed to have aged years within the previous hours.
“I don’t understand. I still just can’t believe it all. Seems like any moment now I should wake up from this nightmare. Tell me that she’s still here. That they found the wrong body, or that I’ve just had a really bad dream, or imagined the whole thing. Susan was so strong. She wasn’t scared of anything. She feared no one. No one could hurt her. She was truly a woman of steel. Yet, they say she’s dead.”
“You’ve got a daughter on the way and she’s going to embody everything that you loved about Susan. She’ll live on, Isaac.” His boss, and now friend, patted his back as he detached from Isaac’s hold. Isaac laughed softly through the pain, thinking of the little girl that was coming.
“Thanks, Captain.” Isaac shook his
head, embarrassed for his behavior, “I’m sorry for being so difficult. I know you mean the best.”
“There’s nothing to apologize for, Isaac. You’ll get back on your feet, probably just as soon as you wake up in the morning. Just let these guys take you home, then take some melatonin and go straight to bed. Don’t get up until you simply can’t sleep any longer.”
"Yes, sir." Isaac drunkenly sat in the front seat, dizzy from the surreal emotions that stabbed at him like so many knives.
…
The car ride was a great challenge for him as he tried not to fall asleep in the comfort of its heat. His eyes burned and his lids felt heavy as he resisted an overwhelming desire to give in to sleep.
The other officers didn’t say a word. Instead they listened to a classic rock station on the radio and an old song played. It was the song’s 100th anniversary since first airing on radio stations. Isaac wasn’t much of a fan of that particular genre of music, but he knew the tune and hummed along to it. It made his heart ache in a dull and gentle way; Bob remained correct about the changing times.
“Here you are, Isaac,” the driving officer uttered the first words of the trip as he gazed up at the beautiful house sitting cold and dark upon the short hill by the street, “gorgeous place you’ve got there.”
“Thanks for the ride over. You boys take care.” Isaac climbed his way up the stairs slowly, not eager to enter the empty home. Its darkness would remain, somehow, even after he turned on the lights and would offer no comfort to him. And the unnatural silence within its walls promised to be unbearably loud as he stepped across its threshold.
“Honey, I’m home,” he called, his tear-choked voice echoed through the house and he fell to his knees wracked with sobs just as he entered. “I can’t do this. I just can’t do this. Susan! My Susan! Why, why did you leave me here alone to live alone in this house, still filled with your smell?”
Sowing Season Page 29