“Wait!” Seth called out in a loud whisper from where he worked on his quilt, before racing up and dropping a large, fluffy pillow down at Reed’s feet. “You need something soft under your ass, remember?”
Reed grinned. “Thanks.” He sat gingerly onto the pillow, although he couldn’t quite keep the grimace off his face. “Yeah, hard to believe I forgot about that. Thanks, Seth.”
The omega grinned before returning to the sewing corner. Loki wrinkled his nose at the sight of Reed’s lingering recovery from whelping. His obvious discomfort from pushing out a pup wasn’t exactly a selling point on the whole venture. Not that Loki had any choice in the matter. Next winter, he would be in the exact same position. Although seeing the new father reminded him…
“I’m sorry I sent you into labor early,” he said, not able to look the guy in the eye.
“Oh, don’t worry about that. It wasn’t too soon and well, it’s hard to imagine what it would have been like if Hayley had been any bigger,” he added with a laugh. “Really, it’s fine. I understand you were in a tough position. We all do, and speaking for myself, I’m glad things turned out as they did.”
“We all are,” Will agreed.
Loki hid his face in the crook of his arm. “Thanks. I don’t deserve your kindness. I’ve been pretty awful since I got here.”
“No,” Will and Seth said together.
“Being an omega is tough,” Reed added. “I know how it feels to have no control over your life. Believe me, I understand why you were so miserable about being here.”
Rolling onto his back, Loki sighed and stared up at the ceiling. “It’s not so much that I hate being here, it’s more that I really want to go home. Back to the arctic, I mean. I, um, haven’t ever given up hope of returning.”
He placed his palm over his abdomen. While he felt nothing yet, he knew a tiny pup was growing in there already. It didn’t seem real and probably wouldn’t until his belly grew and he started feeling the pup moving around.
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he sat up. “I guess I need to stop thinking about that. It’s never going to happen.” He gave the other two a weak smile. “This is my home now.”
Reed shared a look with Will before saying, “Yeah, like it is mine, at least part time. It takes some getting used to. Even being in Portland is sometimes strange to me. It gets better, though.” The omega held his sleeping daughter out. “Here, would you like to hold her?”
Loki instinctively pulled back with wide eyes. “Hold her?” His voice rose on a squeak. “She’s like a minute old.”
Reed grinned. “I’m sure you won’t break her. Go ahead. Your pup will be whelped before you know it. May as well get in some practice.”
After a few more seconds of hesitation, Loki screwed up his courage and took the pup with slightly shaking hands. He pulled her into his chest to cradle her as safely as possible. It was silly for him to be so uncertain. He’d held plenty of pups before. There was something about his new entry into adult hood that made this effort more momentous than it should have been.
He stared down at the tiny thing with her surprisingly lush lashes lying against her pink cheeks. As he watched, she made a little moue of her mouth and for a moment he thought she was getting ready to demand a feeding. But, no, she only smacked her lips before turning her head toward him and continuing her slumber.
Loki’s heart squeezed and he found himself wishing for just this thing—a sweet, tiny pup to cradle in his arms and love with all his heart. This was what he’d always wanted until he’d been forced to run. For so long, his anger and resentment had pushed away this dream of his. Maybe now he could reclaim it. All he had to do was let go of what might have been and embrace what was.
“See,” Reed said in a low voice, “you’re a natural. I can’t wait for next winter when we can all spend time together in the new family longhouse.”
Loki looked up sharply. “What?”
Reed cocked his head. “Don’t you know? The guys are already marking the ground adjacent to Carr’s and Ben’s hut for the new rooms.”
Trying not to show his growing upset, Loki kept his voice equally low and made sure his grip didn’t tighten on Hayley. “What guys?”
“Daniel, Carr, Destin and Bard. When I left the hut, they were working with the construction sigmas to lay out where the connected huts will be built. There will be plenty of room for everyone and our growing families.” He shrugged. “At least, that’s what Daniel told me. Didn’t anyone tell you?”
Loki peered down at the pup. “No. No one ever tells me anything.”
His life was already being planned out even further by his brother and the gammas who’d always done Destin’s bidding. Including Bard, naturally. The man hadn’t mated with him, but he was still in the thick of things, ordering Loki’s needs. It was maddening, not because the idea of having his own hut bothered him. Of course, it was what he wanted. No, it was the fact that no one seemed to think he should be involved in the decision-making and the planning.
Well, if he was now fully grown, he had every right to be in on those plans.
He held Hayley out to Reed. “Sorry, I have to hand her back. I’ve got something to do.”
Taking his daughter, Reed grinned broadly. “Are you going to kick some gamma butt?”
Loki stood and nodded. “Yup, and I’ll take a swipe at the betas while I’m at it.”
Seth, Reed, and Will stifled giggles. “Good luck with that,” Reed offered.
“We’re rooting for you, Loki,” Will added.
“Thanks, I’m going to need the moral support. And,” he added with a grimace, “I may need a pillow to sit down on when I return.” Yeah, because he was about to push Destin’s and Bard’s buttons harder than he’d ever done before and he wasn’t so certain his ass would come out of the confrontation unscathed.
Chapter Six
On the very short walk from the weaving hut to his confrontation with his non-mate, Loki’s languid feeling dissipated. His wolf woke up from his nap and yawned before yipping in irritation. He wasn’t loving Loki’s sudden spike of energy. Be quiet. I know what I’m doing and it’s for our own good. His wolf chuffed, clearly dubious, but Loki would not be dissuaded from his goal. He was done having his life ordered for him by bossy dominants. If being in whelp meant anything, it should be that he would be treated with more respect. He had the right to have a say in where and how he was going to raise his pup.
The sight that greeted him upon reaching his destination was exactly as Reed had described it. All kinds of men swarmed the area, driving stakes into the softening ground, laying down twine and marking paper on a clipboard. In addition to the sigmas who would be doing most of the construction, the arctics were milling about, pointing, laughing, talking—in short, taking charge of the project. Everyone who counted was there, except him. Well, that was changing.
He marched right up to the group. Bard was the first to see him, or maybe he scented him. The gamma’s head swiveled around and for an unguarded moment, his face showed genuine delight. Then he must have read Loki’s expression because Bard’s face fell into a wariness that caused him to track Loki’s approach as if he were scenting a prey or a predator. The guy seemed to take a fortifying breath a second before Loki stopped right in front of his face.
Putting his hands on his hips, Loki glared up at him. “What are you doing?” Although the “what” was obvious, he wanted to hear how Bard would justify himself.
Bard put his game face on. “We’re planning out a family homestead that will include a hut for you and the pup.” His tone implied that this was all perfectly natural and innocent.
Loki narrowed his gaze. “Oh, really? So, you all are planning out my home without me? I guess you figure the sigmas will know exactly how I want to order the space I’ll keep and raise my pup in. I mean why should you bother to ask me? It’s not as if I could possibly have an opinion on that.”
Bard had the decency to look shamefac
ed. His lips morphed into a grim line and he dropped his gaze. “Um…well.”
“Loki, mind your manners. We are only trying to do what’s best for the whole family.” Destin had come up.
Loki whirled in his direction. “I’m talking to Bard, brother. Kindly stay out of it.”
Destin’s eyes went wide before his expression turned angry. “Your breeding state does not give you license to be rude or disrespectful.”
“Doesn’t it, though? I’m not mated, so Bard doesn’t get to boss me around. And, this pup growing inside me proves I’m not under your control, either. I don’t need a guardian anymore. Like any pack member, I answer to the alpha, and I have a mind to go lodge a complaint with him that you are all overstepping your bounds.”
Destin opened his mouth with the obvious intent of giving him a dressing down. Bard stepped between them—literally. He put his big body in front of Destin, blocking Loki’s view of his brother. “Destin, please let me handle this.”
There was a huff, then, “Fine. I have better things to do than argue with a bratty omega.”
That parting shot gave Loki fits. He tried to dash around Bard to mix it up more with his brother. The gamma blocked him with a sweep of his arm that caught Loki lightly around the chest.
“Loki, stop. Please. Let’s talk this through in private.”
Only fear of hurting his pup caused Loki to not struggle, although he tried to extricate himself from Bard’s hold as the guy led him off to one side. It was impossible, of course. The gamma’s arm was like a band of steel that couldn’t be bent or pushed aside.
Bard took them to the edge of the forest where they couldn’t be heard by the others. Surprisingly, he also let Loki go, although he planted his wide gamma body in a position that made it impossible for Loki to return to the place they’d just left.
Bard ran his hand over his sweaty head. His braid was fraying, testament to how hard he’d been working. “I’m sorry,” he said with his gaze fixed steadily on Loki’s eyes.
That took the fire out of Loki. The apology was so unexpected, he stood blinking back at Bard for a good few seconds. “You are?” His response was hardly made of stern stuff, but it was all he could manage.
“Yes. You’re absolutely right about your changed status. As a breeding omega, you deserve respect and without a mate, you are essentially emancipated. Plus, we are talking about the home you’ll occupy for the rest of your life. Of course you should have a say in that. You have every right to lodge a complaint with Lorcan, although he has agreed in principle to the family longhouse.”
Now Loki felt completely deflated. His previous fatigue came back in a wave that made him close his eyes briefly. Hearing it baldly stated that this was the last pack he’d ever belong to, was hard. Only for a moment, though. With his new responsibilities as a breeding adult, he understood he had to put aside his juvenile dream of returning to the arctic. Such a journey would be dangerous for him and his pup, plus the Rogue Pack was a better place for a servient. He might not know yet what kind of shifter he was bringing into the world, but a sigma or an omega was perfectly possible. He wanted his pup to have the best he could provide.
Leaning down, Bard stared at him intently. “Are you all right? Do you feel well?”
Loki forced himself to straighten. “I’m fine, thanks. A little tired, that’s all.”
“Well, naturally. I imagine you’re getting hungry, too.”
The very question made his stomach pang. “Yeah, I am.”
“I’m sure if you go to the kitchen, Joey will give you something to tide you over before the mid-day meal.” He paused. “I’d be happy to carry you there if you want.”
The offer reminded Loki of how all during his heat, the gamma had carried him to and from the showers. He’d never seemed to tire of making that effort despite getting no more rest than Loki. The very memory of the way Bard’s strong arms had encircled Loki made him flush with a sudden warmth. His hole clenched, as well, and a bit of slick coated it.
His reaction both surprised and annoyed him. That sort of thing wasn’t supposed to happen. Arousal was something that occurred during heat, not while standing around talking about housing and food. He did know that sex could be enjoyable all the time. The other omegas had been pretty casually vocal about that when they’d thought he wasn’t around. An unmated omega, properly raised and chaperoned, shouldn’t hear such things. He’d gotten very good at sneaking around, and he had been curious. Still, he didn’t want to give Bard any ideas.
And yet, his traitorous body betrayed him. The gamma’s nostrils flared and his gaze centered on Loki’s mid-section. Although Bard gave no other indication that he’d scented Loki’s slick, it was clear that he had. It wasn’t only his face that gave it away, either. Loki dared to sneak a peek at the gamma’s crotch. That massive dick of his strained against the fly of his jeans. Only a few days ago, Loki wouldn’t have truly understood the magnitude of a dominant’s erection. Now, the sight of it made him flush even more.
He decided to pretend that nothing was happening at all. With a false casualness, he tossed his head. “No, thanks. I can walk on my own, but I want to see what you guys have been laying out all morning. If I don’t like how my home is going to shake out, now’s the time for me to say so.”
Bard nodded, clearly willing to go with the unspoken plan of ignoring dueling arousals. “Certainly. As I said, I’m sorry that we didn’t include you in on this from the beginning. I think you’ll like the plans, though. Come.”
The gamma turned on his heel and marched back the way they’d come. Loki had no choice but to follow in his wake. Perversely, he didn’t like how Bard was treating him like a competent pack member, which was idiotic. And, given how he’d reacted moments ago, completely crazy, too. Loki didn’t want to be attracted to Bard, not now. Perhaps not ever. He needed time to think about what he wanted his future to look like for him and his pup. There was no point in leading the gamma on. That wouldn’t be fair, and Loki decided right then that he did want to treat Bard with more consideration. He was a good shifter and despite the way Loki had resented his breeding, there was no denying that Bard had done it with as much care and solicitation of Loki’s feelings as had been possible under the circumstances.
So, he followed Bard with an open mind to view the patch of ground that would be the basis of his new home. At their approach, Destin pulled away from the sigmas, who made themselves scarce as smart sigmas did when they sensed conflict brewing. Loki kept his eye on his brother, trying to convey his remaining irritation without being bratty about it. That accusation had stung, if only because Loki knew it wasn’t entirely undeserved. It was a pattern of behavior he’d picked up during their time as ferals. It had been the only way he’d had to get the others’ attention and to make his unhappiness known.
Things were different. He had to learn a new pattern of interaction if he was going to take his place in the pack as an adult.
Destin folded his arms. “Have you recovered from your hissy fit, brother?”
Loki was working up a proper reply when Bard surprised him. “You do him an injustice, Destin. Loki has articulated a fair complaint about not being consulted. If he voices his position to Lorcan, we can’t argue he isn’t right. We should have included him in plans that affected him and his pup.”
Yeah, what he said. Loki almost blurted it out, but bit his tongue to hold it back. That was not how a mature shifter would act. Instead, he mimicked his brother’s stance and stared at him.
Destin’s gaze swung from one to the other. “The alpha approved the idea of creating a family longhouse. As the head of the family, my word is paramount, second only to the alpha himself. I do what’s best for all of us.”
Again, Bard answered for Loki. “In our old pack, your sire would have certainly supported that position. The Rogues are different. Lorcan is different. And although he has given both of us great latitude where Loki is concerned, there can be no question that things have changed
. We need to stop treating him like a pup.”
Destin raised an eyebrow, but he didn’t direct his next remark to the gamma. He looked at Loki, and for the first time, there was something a little different in his gaze. “I suppose I can’t argue with what Bard is saying. You are all grown now, Loki. However, I am loathe to assume you have changed so very much in the last few days.”
This time, Loki jumped in to answer for himself. Bard seemed to understand that he needed to step back, too. He visibly did so. “You don’t have to assume anything, brother. I am obviously different. I’m breeding.” He emphasized his point by palming his abdomen.
Destin’s eyes tracked the movement. He shook his head. “It’s hard to believe you are. You have been my baby brother for so long. It will take me time to adjust to the new reality. And, besides, I only have your best interests at heart.”
Loki almost blurted out how he doubted that assertion. You made me leave my home! Once again, he held his tongue. “I’m sure it is hard for you, but not as much as it is for me trying to be taken seriously. I’m not going to be living with you, Destin, even though our homes will be connected. I want my pup to be raised in a home of my choosing. The best I can give it.”
Destin broke whatever point of agreement they’d been reaching by snorting. “If you want the best for your pup, you’ll take Bard as a mate instead of stubbornly remaining as you are.”
Loki grimaced as he worked up a retort. He never got the chance. Bard intervened once more. “Destin, please. That’s not helping.” Taking Loki by the elbow, he added, “Come, I’ll try to explain what we envisioned.”
Loki allowed the distraction. Shooting his brother a glare, he went with Bard and paid attention to how they’d planned out the various individual homes that would comprise the family longhouse. He hated to admit it even to himself, but he did love the idea. It was common among the arctic shifters. Although as an alpha’s pup, he’d been used to sharing his sire’s longhouse with the rest of the pack members. This one that he’d share with Destin and Carr would be far cozier. And, the way they connected the parts via the common areas, it left bedrooms private. He would have a place to be with his pup that no one would be able to enter without his permission.
Omega Lost (The Rogue Pack Book 7) Page 10