“Of course,” Bard was quick to agree, although his expression hinted otherwise. He turned his head slowly toward Carr, who had come to stand next to Loki. “A hand, if you please, ‘brother?’”
Loki moved away to give the other gamma more room, still irritated at how careless Bard was being with his own well-being. Soon, the man was standing, although he swayed the moment he was upright. Loki smirked at the confirmation that he’d been right to be concerned.
Bard eyed him while leaning on Carr. “You’re enjoying this too much.”
“I’m enjoying nothing.” Loki folded his arms, and relaxed his features to wipe away all trace of his reaction. The truth was that he did like how he was the one being sensible and protective for a change.
Bard was clearly not buying that assertion. Still, he said nothing more and simply took a few deep breaths and blinked rapidly as he stared off in the distance.
Lorcan came to support Bard on his other side. “Come, we’ll get you to Andrea’s room for a little lie down until your head stops swimming.” Glancing around, he added, “Let’s all get back to work, shall we? The drama is over with little harm done.”
That was that. Everyone disbursed, except Loki. Although he wasn’t needed to help Bard and technically had no more right than any other pack member to linger, he couldn’t quite make his feet move. He hovered near the three men as if somehow he could add to Bard’s support. The idea was ridiculous, but still he remained.
Before Carr and Lorcan could guide Bard to the longhouse, Finn approached with Will and Annie in his embrace. “I’m very sorry for the bother, Alpha.”
“These things happen. Pups are a handful by their nature and Annie more than most.” He flashed a smile. “Where would we be as a pack without them?”
“It’s good of you to say so, sir. We’ll do a better job of keeping her out of trouble.”
“This isn’t on you, Finn,” the alpha was quick to reply. “Or Will, for that matter. He has Aimee to care for. We are all responsible for Annie and the rest of the pups. I’m just glad she wasn’t hurt. With construction so prevalent this summer and the gathering happening, we’re going to have to figure out stricter boundaries for all of the pups. Just one more thing we’ve been doing on the fly too long.”
“It’s my fault.” Kyle stepped up with Hope in his arms. She was fretting in sympathy with Annie, who now lay in her father’s arms in human form, sniffling. “It was my idea for the omegas and the pups to spend time outside. I wasn’t thinking.”
This set off another round of reassurances by the alpha and an insistence by a still teary Will that it was his negligence, not the alpha-mate’s.
Loki tamped down his growing frustration. This discussion of what went wrong and why and how to prevent it in the future was all well and fine. In other circumstances, he would have appreciated how the Rogues were able to talk things out instead of the alpha simply going ballistic. His sire would have been meting out punishment by this time, make no mistake. Lorcan’s sense of fairness was to his credit, except that Bard needed to lie down and rest!
Just when he was about to do the unthinkable and interrupt Lorcan, the man said, “We can discuss this later. Bard is being very patient in standing here, but we should get him inside.”
“I’m okay, sir. Really. I don’t like leaving your mate and Will upset when they did nothing wrong.”
Seriously? How about me? Do you care if I’m upset? Loki tapped his foot and fumed.
And yet more talk occurred where the dominants continued to sooth the omegas and the pups. Honestly, it was both admirable and infuriating.
Loki finally snapped. He ducked around Carr to stand in front of Bard. “Can we please stop all of this and agree that it was my fault.”
That got everyone’s attention. They all fell silent and stared at him. It was Bard who asked the obvious question. “Why would we do that? How are you to blame?”
Loki threw up his hands. “I’m not, but you need to go lie down and it seems as if that’s not going to happen so long as everyone insists on discussing who is at fault here. I mean, I’m usually in trouble so what difference does one more transgression make? I’ll just lose my dessert privileges for a month or something.”
Bard’s expression softened. “Oh, Loki.” He turned to Lorcan. “I do believe Loki’s right that I should go inside now.”
“Certainly.” Lorcan nodded. “There will be no more talk of punishment. No one did anything wrong.” His gaze encompassed Loki briefly before he nudged Bard to start walking.
“Please let us know if there is anything we can do for you, Bard,” Finn called out. He stopped Loki with a touch of his shoulder. “And thank you for comforting Will and Annie.”
Caught by surprise at the gratitude, Loki could only blink back at him for a few seconds. “Um, it was nothing,” he finally said before hurrying off in Bard’s wake.
With his emotions roiling from the strange last few minutes, Loki could only focus on one thing. Bard needed him. It didn’t necessarily make sense given how he’d pushed the gamma away time and again, yet there was no question he would follow and care for him. Anything else was simply unthinkable at the moment.
****
“Are you sure you’re comfortable? I can get you another pillow.”
Bard hid his smile. This solicitousness of Loki was a surprise. A pleasant one, to be sure. Nevertheless, he didn’t want to spook the omega by making too much of it.
“I’m well enough in this position, thank you.” Elevating his head in softness did seem to help the pounding.
Loki frowned from where he knelt by Bard’s pallet. “You’re not dizzy are you?”
“No, my head is quite clear.”
The vertigo he’d experienced when first getting up from the ground had worn off within seconds. He’d only kept his hold on Carr and Lorcan as a precaution to allay Loki’s obvious concern. To see the omega worried about him to such a degree had given him hope for their relationship. But it had also worried him. Stress was not good for a breeding omega.
“Does it still hurt?”
“Yes. Not as much, though.”
That was a lie. His headache remained relentless even with Andrea’s potion inside him. He ignored the pain. He’d had worse hurts, but he didn’t like to tell Loki that. He was too used to shielding him from unpleasantness. Besides, as much he delighted in having the boy tend to him, he didn’t want him lingering.
Staying in the healer’s room had seemed like overkill and an unnecessary intrusion into her space. So, he’d insisted on being escorted to the communal men’s room. Night was falling. Soon the other males would be coming in for sleep. He didn’t want Loki to be around them in a space that saw nightly sexual relief and general male rowdiness. The males in this pack were very well behaved, but when it came to his omega, his wolf didn’t trust anyone.
Loki peered at him intently, his normally clear blue eyes clouded with doubt. “I think you’re lying.”
“Loki!” Bard’s was shocked at the omega’s bluntness, although if he were honest with himself, it was gratifying to see the boy maturing. Being a brat was one thing. Being assertive was something entirely different. Loki was acting far more grown-up in a short period of time than Bard would have expected. He found that he liked it even as some part of him mourned the loss of the omega’s innocent youth.
Except that poor Loki hadn’t had that for a long time. Not really. Running feral had stripped him of it no matter how much Bard and the others had tried to prevent it. He’d remained a pup, naturally, but one with a hard edge that had come out in bratty behavior, always looking for attention, good or bad. Would he have been that way if he’d known the reason why they’d left? There was no way to tell now. Maybe being in whelp was going to be a natural salve to his emotional wound. The notion alleviated some of Bard’s guilt over how he’d forced the boy. Nothing could erase it entirely, however.
Loki crossed his arms. “I don’t need protecting. You can te
ll me the truth. I can handle it, you know.”
Bard thought that might actually be true on all fronts at this point, but long practice of deferring to Destin had him keeping his mouth shut about the one thing Loki should know. He was getting ahead of himself, anyway. Loki wasn’t talking about history. He was concerned with the here and now. A certain amount of honesty suddenly became obviously the right thing to do.
“The truth is, my head hurts terribly and I really want to get some sleep.”
Loki’s expression turned to soft concern. “Oh. I’m sorry, I should have realized that. I’ll sit quietly. If you need anything, though, you only have to ask.” He smiled shyly at him, an atypical and alluring look. It made Bard’s head pound in a different way.
Then the import of the boy’s words hit. “No! You can’t stay.” Even as he spoke, a couple of sigmas entered, talking quietly to each other.
Loki frowned, back to his usual contrary self. “Why not? You may need help in the middle of the night, and Andrea said you should be checked every two hours to make sure you don’t have a concussion.”
“That’s not necessary, I assure you. And if it is, Destin can do it. You should go back to your own room.”
The omega’s frown deepened. “I don’t have a room. I share with Mabel’s twins, remember?”
“Yes, of course, but at least it’s more private than here.” Yet more sigmas arrived, their increased proximity to Loki making Bard’s wolf twitchy. He’d been mostly quiet after the fall, but not anymore.
“You obviously don’t remember what it’s like to hang out with pups. They’re up at all hours, fussing because of teething or restless from a growth spurt. I’ll probably get more sleep here.”
A myriad of emotions plagued Bard’s aching head—guilt over not finishing Loki’s home more quickly, embarrassment about being stupid enough to fall without shifting, growing agitation at the idea of Loki’s ripened body being in a small space with aroused sigmas.
Reaching out, he clasped Loki’s knee. “Please. This isn’t a proper place for you to be.” He licked his lips before continuing, the medicine and his anxiousness making his mouth dry. In contrast, the feel of only a small part of Loki’s warmth soothed his nerves.
A familiar sly look crossed the omega’s face. Instead of saying anything directly in response to Bard’s plea, the boy picked up on his thirst. “Here,” he said, grabbing the bottle of water he’d thought to bring, “you need some of this.”
With a firm, insistent grip on the back of Bard’s head, Loki lifted him sufficiently to make it possible to drink without dribbling all over himself like a pup. And it was what he needed, the still-cool liquid easing a parched throat.
“Thanks,” he said when he’d finished. It was almost pathetically wonderful to have someone caring for him with the sweet gentleness of a mate. For the first time in years, he allowed some ancient wistfulness of what his life should be like to swamp him.
If only he’d mate with me.
No, that was the conk on his head talking. He needed to shut that train of thought down. It was not about what Bard wanted. Loki’s needs were paramount, especially now that he was breeding with Bard’s pup. His gaze wandered of its own accord to the omega’s belly. It was as flat as ever. That would soon change. He wasn’t sure how he and his wolf would handle seeing the clear evidence of his pup growing inside Loki. If they weren’t mated by that time, he was going to have a lot of trouble keeping himself under control. Already his sense of ownership threatened to overtake his more modern and fair ideas that Loki didn’t belong to anyone other than himself.
Bard’s wolf definitely didn’t hold to that view. He began to pace under Bard’s skin, on high alert as more and more sigmas came into their own space to relax after what had undoubtedly been a long day.
Bard clenched his hands into fists. “As much as I appreciate your care of me, you must go now.”
Loki glanced around the room before returning his gaze to Bard. He furrowed his brows. “You don’t like my being around all these other males as they bed down, do you?”
Damn, nobody had ever asserted that Loki was dumb. Self-absorbed perhaps, but smart enough to figure out what was preying on Bard’s nerves at the moment. Bard tried to come up with a plausible reason why that was true other than possessiveness, something he knew the omega wouldn’t like hearing.
Loki fiddled with the water bottle before putting it against the wall. “It shouldn’t bother you. This is the perfect place for me, actually. I’m an adult and unmated. Where else would I be?”
Anywhere else!
Bard forced calm into his voice. “Ideally in your own hut, but as that is currently not possible, you should return to Mabel.”
Loki cocked his head. “Except Craig’s there. Doesn’t that bother you?”
“He’s mated and a sire. That’s different.” Now Bard’s jaw started to ache along with his head as he tried to tamp down his growing agitation.
“You’re not actually worried about my being here, are you?” Loki jerked his chin to the room at large. “None of these sigmas wish me harm, and even if they did, you wouldn’t let them get near me.”
Bard huffed. “I’m not a hundred percent at the moment.”
“Which is why I must stay. Someone needs to look after you tonight.”
“Destin…”
“Is on guard duty.”
Bard had no comeback to that, except… “My wolf doesn’t share your sense of logic, I’m afraid. He also doesn’t care that we aren’t mated.”
“Oh, well, if it’s your wolf…” Flashing an impish grin, Loki upped Bard’s tension by sliding down and curling up against his side. Loki’s small hand lay flat on top of Bard’s stomach. The touch made his abdominal muscles ripple in a prick of arousal.
Loki patted him lightly. “This should ease his worry. I promise to stay right here the whole night. No one can get between us.”
Other than my own honor. His throat becoming dry once more, Bard pushed the right words past his lips. “This isn’t proper. You are not my mate and no longer in heat. Destin will pitch a fit and rightly so when he sees you here like this.”
Loki merely snorted at that line of reasoning. “Destin will be delighted. He wants nothing so much as to see us together.”
“As mates,” Bard reminded him. “Is that what you’re offering me now?”
A tension-filled silence greeted that question. In the few seconds Loki delayed his answer, a spark of hope was born and died inside Bard. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t a fair question.”
Loki snuggled closer, a conflicting reaction to his lack of verbal response. Then, “I, um, need more time. Everything is changing so quickly. I haven’t quite adjusted to the fact that I’m in whelp yet. I’m not sure what I want right now other than to help you recover.”
Bard lifted his arm and wrapped it around Loki’s shoulders. A brief shudder met his embrace, which would have concerned him, except that the omega immediately snuggled closer to him. That show of trust, and dare he hope affection, went a long way toward appeasing his wolf. And, it made him, as a man, happy.
“It’s all right. I don’t need or expect you to make any decisions right away. It’s enough that you’re here with me. That you care.”
Loki pressed closer. “Well of course I care.” He paused. “I guess I haven’t shown that before now, though, huh?”
“Not to worry. You’ve been through a trying couple of years and adjusting to a new pack isn’t easy for any shifter, an omega most of all. I’ve never really expected you to want me.” He took in a deep breath and let it out in a stuttering stream. “I’ve been hoping you’d get…used to me, I suppose. Then, after what I put you through during your heat made me worry that you hated me.”
Loki’s fingers curled against Bard’s chest before unfurling again and patting him. “I don’t hate you. I never have. Resented, yes…”
That admission didn’t make Bard feel much better. “I know. My only goal has b
een to do what’s best for you, even though I knew you didn’t agree with me. How you felt about me wasn’t important.”
Loki was quiet for a while, which would have worried Bard if not for the fact that the boy didn’t pull away from their close embrace. Whatever thoughts swirled around the omega’s head, they didn’t make him angry.
“I never doubted your motives,” Loki finally said. “It was always clear that you did what you thought was right. What I resented was the lack of control over my own life, which is kind of stupid of me given that omegas typically don’t get that.”
Bard ran his hand down Loki’s arm. “I’m sorry.” He wasn’t sure what he was apologizing for—his own heavy-handedness, the crappy situation that had led them to this upending change in their lives, or simply their species’ natures. He only knew that Loki needed comfort and Bard’s conscience weighed heavily on him.
“It doesn’t matter.” The omega squirmed for a few seconds.
Bard almost lifted his arm, thinking Loki wanted to get free of the hold, except something hard pressed against Bard’s thigh. It took his scrambled brain a few seconds to recognize what he was feeling.
He’s aroused.
Yes, that was the omega’s stiff cock prodding him. He had to suppress both a smile and his own dick at the evidence that being physically close had produced such a stunning surprise.
He shouldn’t be so amazed at the event given how he’d scented Loki’s slick some days ago when they’d had their spat over the family longhouse. He’d convinced himself that it was nothing to read into, the aftermath of the omega’s heat and not some true attraction to him. There was no rationalizing this reaction away, however. There was only one reason why Loki would be aroused while their bodies were mashed together.
Loki wants me.
Bard reveled in the knowledge for a second before tamping down his elation. Now was not the time to highlight that to Loki. It was possible the omega wasn’t truly aware or understanding of his own sexuality. The circumstances of his breeding hadn’t given Bard a chance to really teach the boy about how his body worked and the kind of pleasure a devoted mate could bring him.
Omega Lost (The Rogue Pack Book 7) Page 13