I rubbed against him, pressing down slightly, feeling a little uncertain, but needing the fullness like I needed my next breath. I pushed my hips down, taking him deep on a loud whimper. Johnnie's hand moved away to settle at my hip as his breath hissed out. "Fucking perfect," he growled, his hand leaving my back and sitting at my other hip. It seemed normal at first until I realized they weren't just resting there, they were holding me still.
"Johnnie," I groaned, trying to wiggle away, trying to cause any kind of movement that would ease the ache inside that was bordering on painful. "I need to move," I cried, grabbing his wrists and trying to move them away.
His head tilted a little. "I'm gonna let you move, sugar. I can't wait to watch you ride me."
"Then why..."
"Tell me," he demanded, lips twitching up.
He had me.
He knew he had me.
"I want to hear it when I'm buried deep inside you, baby."
God.
God.
I had to give it to him.
"I love you," I admitted, my voice a strange croak because the words felt clumsy on my unpracticed tongue.
"There it is," he smiled, his eyes looking bright. His fingers dug into my hipbones for a second before one raised to grab the back of my neck and pull me forward until our lips found each other. He kissed me deep, slow, passionate, full of the wonder of the first realization of mutual love, full of something more profound than just bodies connected, full of the knowledge that our souls were too. He pulled away a long time later and my heavy lids fluttered open. "Move, baby," he coaxed, his hips thrusting up into mine once, making a half-gasp, half-groan burst from my lips.
And, well, I didn't need any more encouragement than that. One of my hands went to his shoulder, curling into it in a way that must have been painful but he didn't complain as I slowly found a rhythm. My other hand hung limply by my side until his reached out and took it, intertwining our fingers and squeezing tight. His other hand was at the side of my neck, pressing in a little too hard, but I was too wrapped up to care.
"That's it, honey," he encouraged as my movements got faster, more frantic, and hard. "Are you gonna come for me?" he asked and I felt myself tighten around him.
"Y... yes," I gasped, feeling it get closer.
"Fucking beautiful," he said, shaking his head at me slightly and I felt the orgasm threaten then break through me, making my entire body feel like it went out of control at once. My thighs shook violently as I fell forward into his chest, burying my face into his neck where I cried out his name over and over. His body surged up into mine, drawing out my orgasm until there was nothing left, then burying deep and finding his own.
His arms went around me, holding me tight to his body. His lips were at my ear, making me shiver when, still buried deep inside me, I got to hear it too. "I love you, angel."
EPILOGUE
Amelia - Two weeks
"Darlin' they don't care if all the cups are on the right sides of the plates," Johnnie said, giving me a amused smile as he leaned against the kitchen counter, Millie rubbing against his legs as he watched me run around like a chicken with its head chopped off.
"I care!" I said, rearranging the two glasses that were out of place. "I want everything to be perfect. They..."
"Have been here a thousand times before," he started, suddenly standing behind me, his arm going around my belly and pulling me back against his front. "And not once did they bitch about the glasses. And none of those times did they have homemade biscuits, cornbread, sweet tea, chicken fried steak, green beans, and apple pie to distract them from the position of the glasses."
"I want everything to be right. This is our first official dinner party as a couple," I insisted, though he was right. Aside from maybe Summer, I doubted any of them were even aware that such a thing as a 'right side' existed for glasses.
"Baby, Summer gave a dinner party once a couple years back... fucking disaster. I mean I heard the best part of that night ended up being Hailstorm and the compound being blown to shit. So... you're not up against much."
"That is hardly a vote of confidence, Johnnie," I said, shaking my head.
"I'm sayin'," he said into my neck. "They all love you. The apartment looks great. Your food could make a man cry and drop to a knee and propose marriage. So stop freaking out." He gave me a squeeze and a kiss to the spot just under my ear and moved away when the buzzer sounded. "That'll be Janie and Wolf," he declared without asking who was downstairs.
"How do you know?"
"Janie is a freak about being on time. Summer is too but wrangling that screaming baby into a car seat takes time. Lo and Cash are probably too busy fucking in the car to come up and... Breaker and Alex have to haul it in here from that cabin of theirs and they'll probably waste ten minutes arguing over who gets to drive, so..."
Just as he finished speaking the door burst open and there was Janie, in her usual dark skinny jeans and a dark tank, her long hair flowing. Wolf was behind her, a hulking presence overtaking the entire doorway. "Cash and Lo need to seriously think about taking the van when they want to have car sex," she declared, walking into the kitchen and pouring herself some tea like it was the most natural thing in the world.
My eyes drifted to Johnnie whose lips were quirking and, unable to help it, I threw my head back and laughed.
The door opened a few minutes later and Paine walked in, stopping dead two feet in as he smelled the air. "Is that apple pie?" he asked, looking at Johnnie, who nodded. "Sorry, Shoot but... fuck..." he said, moving over toward me and taking my hand. "Babygirl, forget this chump and marry me."
Again, my eyes found Johnnie's, his face smiling. And it was right then, in that exact moment, that I knew I had never been happier in my life.
That was until five minutes later when the door burst open to reveal Cash with a satisfied grin on his face and Lo trying to flatten out her sex-hair.
And then another five minutes after that when Reign and Summer came through, a crying baby nestled in a pumpkin seat, Summer apologizing profusely about being late.
And then two minutes after that when Alex and Breaker burst through the door, arguing over why it was always Breaker who had to drive everywhere, Alex genuinely heated, Breaker getting in jabs mainly because he liked poking at her anger.
I moved over toward Johnnie as everyone said their hellos, wrapping my arms around his center and burying my face in his neck, my eyes suddenly filling with tears. "Angel," he murmured against my hair, his arms going tight around me.
"Thank you," I said against his skin.
"For what, darlin'?"
"For this," I said, pulling back and looking around. "For you and them and everything. I've never had anything like this before. And I've never, ever had it and not been terrified that it'd be taken away from me."
"Hey, see!" Summer's voice rose above the others and I turned slightly in Johnnie's arms to see her talking to her husband, a glass in her hand. "I told you there was a right side for the glasses to be on!"
I turned my face back into Johnnie's neck and our bodies both shook as we laughed.
--
Shooter - Three months
"You gonna marry her?" Dade asked, looking off at the sprawling endlessness of his ranch, a beer tipped up toward his mouth.
"Yep," I nodded, watching the horses move around in their pastures.
We had breezed into town for a surprise visit that afternoon, Amelia nervously worrying her hands together as if she was somehow convinced everyone would look at her differently, like they somehow knew she got wrapped up in a heroin ring and watched the kingpin get gunned down. She almost seemed a little put-off when she realized everyone treated her with the same dismissive pleasantries they always had. She had me drop her off at the church on my way to Dade's so she could sit in on one of the meetings she used to lead up, connecting with her old clients.
"You're such a lucky fuck, man," he said, smiling over at me. "Prime piece like that? Aft
er what one can only assume was an unfair amount of decent tail before her..."
He was right. I was a lucky fuck. I couldn't think of one thing in my life I had done to deserve something like what I had with Amelia. But I also didn't waste much time thinking about that either. I had her; I had what we had; I wasn't going to over think it.
"It's good to see you back," Dade said when I was silent.
"You know planes fly both ways, man. I know Amy would be beside herself for a house guest. You'd probably get a turn-down service."
"You trying to torture me, man?" he asked, giving me a smile. "Showing me what I coulda had if your ass didn't steal her heart."
"You had no chance and you know it," I laughed and he did too.
"Never did with you around. So hurry up and get a ring on your finger. I want to know you're out of the game for good," he joked.
But two weeks later, I put a ring on her finger. One with a diamond you could see from space.
Ten months after that, I put another ring with that one, the kind that wasn't a promise, but was a vow.
But it wasn't then that I was out of the game for good. That happened the first minute I laid eyes on her.
--
Amelia - Thirteen months
"Breathe," Summer said, smiling.
"Take a shot," Janie suggested.
"Don't think offering the drug counselor booze is the right move, Janie," Alex chided, fiddling with the bodice of her black dress.
"Hey it worked on my wedding day," Lo said, smiling wistfully. "Three shots before I walked out there. Cash might have been a little blurry, but I made it to him."
She was right, she did make it to him. And Cash barely waited for the preacher to tell him he could, before he laid a big, wet one one his new wife, picking her up while doing so and carrying her out of there amidst the whoops and catcalls. They didn't make it to their suite either. They had sex in the storage closet ten feet from the event room where all the guests were still seated.
I was there.
It was brilliant.
That being said, being the one who was supposed to be doing the walking down the aisle and being kissed in front of most of the bad-asses in the area, it didn't sound all that brilliant.
"Look," Summer said, taking my hands in hers, her own engagement and wedding rings catching my eye. "I know it's weird that everyone is looking at you and knowing you're going to be having all kinds of sex after you seal the deal... but when you get out there and you see Johnnie watching you, trust me, everything else will fall away."
"Right. So we're done with all this clucking, right?" Janie said, popping up and pulling the hem of her skirt down. Janie was a lot of things, a dressy girl was not one of them.
"Just wait till it's your turn, Jstorm," Lo said, tugging at her hair playfully.
"Fuck that. We can get one of you ordained and you'll marry us at Hailstorm with no muss or fuss. And definitely no tight dresses," she whined, pulling at the clingy material of her very simple bridesmaid dress.
I stood up, running a hand down my hair to smooth it, feeling marginally better. Leave it to the girls-club to distract me from my anxiety.
"Alright. That's our music," Summer said and all of them made a grab for their plain white bouquets and fell into line.
I took a deep breath as I walked down the hall.
"You ready?" Paine asked as he came up beside me, offering me his arm. He was giving me away. Since my father was MIA for twenty some-odd years and Ben was gone, there was no one to walk me down the aisle. Standing up with Johnnie would be Breaker, Dade, Cash, and Wolf. Paine should have been up there too, but he insisted that there was no way he was letting me walk down the aisle alone like I didn't have any family. He was my family now, he had insisted. And, well, that was that. I had bawled like a baby into his chest until he pushed me off onto Johnnie when he told me that.
"No," I said honestly and he smiled down at me.
"Babygirl..." he said, ducking his head a little. "You ain't gonna start crying again, are you? 'Cause that last time was a tee, this is a nice shirt. Don't need tears all over it."
I felt myself laugh and shook my head at him. "No crying."
"Good. Then let's go get you to your husband."
With that, the music changed and we moved into the doorway.
The room looked great. The chairs were wrapped in white. There were white flowers everywhere. Summer had gone all out with her plans, her being the only one in the girls-club who was the least bit interested in wedding plans. And Johnnie had spared no expense. It was perfect. Flawless really. Paine's hand squeezed my arm in reassurance when all the eyes suddenly fell on us.
But Summer had been right- the second my eyes locked on Johnnie, everything else fell away, it became background noise. All there was in the world was him and the way his brilliant green eyes were watching me, like I was something magnificent, like he couldn't believe he got to have me. My hungry eyes roamed over him and I felt a smile tugging at my lips. He was, even on his wedding day, all Johnnie: from the black and white checkered creepers on his feet to his slacks that were cut a bit too tight to be traditional, to the black short-sleeve dress shirt that showed off his colorful ink and the white tie that matched the theme. His smile spread slowly, like an inside joke, and I felt mine spread as well.
Perfect.
Nothing had ever felt more perfect than that moment.
That was until Paine kissed my cheek and placed my hand in Johnnie's, whose pinkie twisted around mine as we turned to face the minister. Because that moment was more perfect.
And then when he slid another ring on my finger, wrapped his hands around my face and kissed me like it was the first and last time as we were declared husband and wife. Yeah, that moment was even perfect-er.
And when he leaned close as everyone started clapping and whistling and his warm breath tickled my ear and he declared quietly, "Best fuckin' thing that ever happened to me, having to go back to face my demons and finding my angel."
That was the perfect-est.
Cash moved up beside us, clapping slightly, then leaned close and informed us, "The janitor's closet three doors down is unlocked. Do with that information what you will."
He moved away and Johnnie's focus went to me, both of us fighting it for the barest of seconds before we threw our heads back and laughed. I moved toward him, resting my head on his chest over what was the biggest, most giving heart I had ever come across, and I felt the click again, but stronger, firmer, more permanent.
And I still had no idea how he felt about avocados.
SAVIOR
ONE
Elsie
Thank God for charity 5ks and the heavy layer of guilt people slathered on to get you to agree to do such a thing in the first place.
Those were thoughts I never thought I would think. See, I hated running. I hated running the way most people hated clowns. Meaning with a fiery passion. People who thought sweating through their makeup and clothes and chafing in unmentionable areas would be a jolly good time were seriously whacked.
That being said, thank God for all those pre-dawn mornings I was dragged out of bed to train before my mind was awake enough to object to the absurdity of it all. After all, anyone with a fully functioning brain would know sleep was much more preferable to going out in the freezing cold and running along the empty streets.
Because, well, that training was paying off.
In the way that I was running for my life. Sort-of. I was pretty sure anyway. See, I was being chased by two men. Now perhaps all they wanted was to tell me I had a pretty smile. But I seriously doubted it seeing as A) I didn't smile at them and B) they just caught me snooping around some kind of warehouse they were obviously in charge of protecting and C) men didn't chase you down street after street to compliment you. So yeah, I was sticking with the 'running for my life' idea.
My lungs were burning no matter how much I tried to control my breathing and my leg muscles were screaming in obje
ction. And, well, running in jeans wasn't fun. Then there were my feet. Ballet flats were cute and all, but they weren't meant for running and the ones I was wearing had been rubbing at the backs of my heels well before the running started. I half-expected, when I took them off later, assuming I lived, that there would be some nice cuts that would ensure there would be nothing I could put on my feet for a week that wouldn't hurt except for flip flops. It was January.
But, if I got out of this, I figured cold feet were a relatively small price to pay.
Behind me, the guys were keeping pace, but not gaining on me. I said a silent 'thank you' to my dead mother for the long legs I inherited from her.
I was out of the slums. Crap. 'Slum' was probably not the P.C. way to phrase it. But every other word that came to mind seemed even worse: projects, ghetto. Okay. I was sticking with slum. It was a slum, meaning it was a really really crummy part of town that there was no way that I should have been in at twelve o'clock at night, alone, ever. But I had my reasons. I had to be there. I had to see if I could figure out what happened...
"Give it up, Barbie, you ain't getting away!" one of them called behind me, annoyingly in control of his breath. I'd caught one good glance of him before I started running and didn't look back. He was the kind of built that came from endless hours in a gym and a very likely heavy use of steroids. He put my thrice-weekly normal workouts and my once weekly hot yoga classes to shame.
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