by Willow Rose
Of course, I had heard rumors. My brothers had whispered about it at night, and I had overheard peasants talking to my dad about it without them knowing I was listening. I had seen it on my parents’ faces at night when they spoke, and my mother cried while my dad put his arms around her. Something really bad was happening, and for the first time in my life, my parents were scared to death.
I knew it was a horrible idea, yet I did it anyway.
I rode across the countryside, leaving the castle and the forest behind me. I knew I had to be back before sunset to not upset my mother. I stopped my mare just outside the city walls. Then I walked the rest of the way. Slowly, making sure no one would see me, I walked on the path leading to the city, when I heard a noise behind me, and I had to throw myself to the side of the road to hide. A big truck passed me on the road. As I carefully lifted my head to look, I realized it was loaded with people. My heart was pounding as I watched these tormented faces of women and children, holding each other tight and crying.
It was true, I thought. The rumors about people being transported from their villages to camps were actually true. I wondered if it was true that they were also killed there. I couldn’t believe it. Who would kill innocent women and children?
That was the first time I met true gruesomeness and evil in humans. Back then, I didn’t comprehend the extent of it, the depth of the evil in this world as I understand it now, many years later. But, soon enough, I would stand face to face with it. I followed the truck by running far behind it in the high grass, hiding behind shrubberies and trees until it stopped inside of the town.
I felt my heart race in my chest as I heard the soldiers order the women and children out of the truck and had them line them up against a brick wall.
They did so a little reluctantly, some were sobbing, others were crying loudly. Then the soldiers lifted their weapons and shot them. One by one. First the mothers, then their crying children. Their lifeless bodies tumbled to the ground almost soundlessly. Was it because the shock had deprived me of my senses, of my ability to hear? I remember vividly hearing nothing but my own deep breath while the shots were fired. I fell to the ground in agony, holding my hands to my mouth, forcing myself to not scream, biting my hand to blood in pain.
Oh, this cruelty, this inhumane evil that was revealed to me, this innocence that was ripped out of me. It hurt; it deprived me of my childhood, of my youth, of my childlike belief in the good in humankind.
That belief could never be returned to me. I remember wanting to intervene, wanting to stop them. I remember feeling angry beyond anything I had ever felt before. It was overwhelming, but even more so was the feeling of helplessness. There was nothing I could do to help these people, these innocent women and children. I suddenly understood my parents’ desire to keep hidden from the world, to keep us away from what was going on outside of our property.
Suddenly, I wished I hadn’t disobeyed them.
I held my breath for a long time while the soldiers picked up the dead bodies and threw them back on the truck. I cried soundlessly while they kicked the corpses and made fun of them, and even went through their small packages of belongings and picked out the gold in their teeth. Even after the truck had taken off, and I was left alone in the small street with closed up houses, I was unable to move.
I waited an hour, maybe even two, before I slowly looked around the corner again and realized that they were, in fact, gone. I was breathing heavily as I stared at the blood on the brick wall where the women and children had stood. I felt suffocated, paralyzed.
Slowly, I backed up and started to run.
Chapter Two
I BROKE OUT IN a cold sweat and shivered all over my tall, skinny body as I ran towards my mare. My hands were shaking when I grabbed the reins. She looked at me with her big, brown compassionate eyes and I had a feeling she somehow knew, that she sensed that something had happened to me.
I jumped on her back and galloped towards the forest—not looking back at the city.
When the trees of the forest finally covered us and I knew we were safe, I pulled the reins to slow her down. Finally, I had a minute to catch my breath. Pictures of what I had seen flickered before my eyes, and I knew I was never going to be able to escape them. The eyes of those women and children were painted inside of my brain.
Up until now, I had led a protected life; I had been spared from this world and its cruelty by a loving family, who wanted nothing less than the best for me. I wanted desperately to go back to that place, to that sense of security. But it was too late. The child in me was gone.
I spotted some branches that would be good for a fire and jumped off the horse. I started picking them up and tying them to my saddle, when my mare reacted to something. I might not have known much about what was going on in the world, but I did know about horses. Their hearing was considerably better than humans, and they sensed danger long before we did. So when she stopped grassing, froze, and lifted her head with her ears straight in the air, I knew that something was coming our way. Something or someone was close, and if she was alert, then I should be too.
“What’s the matter, girl?” I whispered, and tried to calm her down by putting my hand on her muzzle. “Did you hear something?”
Her eyes looked spooked and her ears seemed to be scanning the air for sounds. That was how they detected a mountain lion in nature, my dad had told me. Their ears were designed to hear a paw on the ground. That was their nature as prey. They react with fear, and that’s when you risk getting run over. Because when danger emerges, horses run. And when they panic, they don’t see anything in front of them, and they certainly never care about you.
I felt my heart pounding as I tried to calm my mare down by stroking her neck and making calming sounds with my mouth. It was almost sunset, and I couldn’t risk her leaving me here. These forests were filled with bears and wolves that would be more than thrilled to feast on me after weeks of starvation due to the cold winter.
“There you go. It’s nothing,” I whispered with a calm voice, yet picked up my father’s old gun that I used for hunting from the saddlebag.
I heard a rustling and turned my head with a gasp. The mare backed up. She sensed something was there, or someone. Now I felt it too. It was like someone was staring at us, observing us from the surrounding bushes. Then it all went quiet again. My heart calmed down.
“Probably just a deer or maybe a rabbit,” I whispered. I walked closer to the bushes; the sound of my steps creaked in the snow. I felt my heart racing in my chest as I wiped away some branches in the bush, causing the loose snow to fall to the ground. I pointed the gun in front of me, ready to shoot if anything should show up, hoping it would be something big enough to feed my family. But nothing was there. I scoffed. Whatever had been there was already gone. I walked back to my mare with a smile. I shook my head.
“It was nothing,” I said to her with a low voice. She was still staring at the bushes and trees in front of us with eyes wide open and her head held high. I tried to calm her down by stroking her gently, but I felt the unrest growing inside of me as well. I couldn’t escape the feeling that something was staring at us from somewhere.
I picked up some more wood and branches from the ground and tied them to the saddle. Then I decided it was time to go home. It was almost dark by now, and there was no chance for me to hunt any animals after the sun had set. It was also too dangerous.
I grabbed the reins, intending to jump on my horse’s back, when I heard a rustling again. I turned my head and lifted my gun.
“Who’s there?” I said. This time I was certain it wasn’t an animal. No animals made a sound like that. My voice was trembling slightly. “Show your face whoever you are.”
Another rustling followed and caused my mare to back up in fear. “Easy now, girl,” I said.
A small face grew out of the forest and came closer. A small, beautiful face belonging to one of the most enchanting creatures I believed the world had ever seen. Her shi
ning green eyes stared at me with fear, her pale skin shivered in the cold. As she stood there in front of me, her lips purple with cold, I took her for a creature of the forest at first. I pictured her being the fairy princess that my mother used to tell me about as a child before bedtime. She could tell me the most wonderful stories about the creatures living in the forests surrounding our castle. They could be about elves, spirits, or will-o’-the-wisps. She had even told me that it was believed that there were were-wolves roaming restlessly in the night. I had always listened to her stories, but never believed in them. Now that I saw this mesmerizing being standing in front of me, lighting up in the darkness, I almost believed that she had been right.
I stared at this gorgeous girl for a long time, mesmerized, speechless, my heart pounding in my chest. I walked closer to her, then realized she was shivering.
The girl stared at me, frightened. I reached out my hand. She hesitated and looked at me with suspicion.
“It’s okay,” I whispered. “I won’t harm you.”
Her purple lips parted and she spoke for the first time. “Can…can you help me?”
I nodded. “Are you running?”
She nodded with a gasp. “They…they came to our house and took my family. I hid in the stables with the horses. I thought they would find me when they searched them. They took everything. Even the horses. They knew I was there somewhere. They kept looking for me. For two days, I hid in a small storage room in the stables. They stayed there, waiting for me to show myself, because they knew I had to come out eventually.”
“So, what did you do?”
“I sneaked out at night. When the soldiers were partying and drinking in the house. There was one soldier in the stables. He was sitting on a chair, halfway asleep, with a bottle in his hand. He grabbed me as I tried to sneak past him. He…he tried to rape me…But I…I killed him. He was too drunk. I don’t know where I got the strength from. Anger maybe.”
She lifted her hands and stared at them. They were trembling. “I cut him with a knife, his own knife that I grabbed from the table next to him,” she whispered.
I grabbed her hands and held them between mine. “You’re safe here,” I said. “This is my father’s land. They won’t come here.”
She lifted her head and stared into my eyes. Our eyes locked. It was the most wondrous feeling in the world. I wanted to take her in my arms right there and kiss her. I felt a deep urge to comfort her; I wanted desperately to protect her. The pain and anger she was feeling, I was feeling as well in my pounding heart. I felt it very strongly, as if I had been there with her.
“They’ll come here too,” she said with a low voice. “They will be looking for me everywhere now. I killed one of them. They won’t stop till I’m dead. They will search everywhere—even here.”
“Then I’ll get you out of here before they do,” I said. I looked at her and smiled. “My name is Sami Margulies, by the way.”
“I’m Catalina,” she said.
Chapter Three
IT WAS MY PLAN to smuggle Catalina over the border to Bulgaria. It was my only option to save her. I didn’t want to bring my family any danger by bringing her to the castle, even though that had been my first idea, but that was like waiting for the executioner to come. The soldiers would surely find her some day, and then they would kill all of us. I couldn’t risk that. So, I asked her to jump on the back of my horse and hold on to me as we galloped across the countryside, hoping to reach the border through the mountains and maybe find a passage that wasn’t closed off. I knew the forests like the back of my hand, so I was certain I could find a way.
But it was getting darker, and soon it started to snow. I heard howling in the distance, and we didn’t get very far before I decided we had to stop for the night. The snow was bothering my mare and made her legs heavy. If she gave up, we would be left to the mercy of the starving wolves.
We came to a valley I knew very well and found an empty barn to shelter us for a couple of hours. It would be best to travel in darkness, if possible, so I was planning on getting up and leaving before dawn.
I pulled the heavy gate open and we all entered the dry barn. I found a stack of hay for my mare, and she ate with contented grunts and snorts. Catalina was shaking with fear and cold. I put my jacket around her and helped her lay down in the hay. I told her I would watch out for her.
“Just get some rest,” I said. “You need it. You’re exhausted.”
I stroked her hair gently and she closed her eyes. A calmness fell upon her face as she dozed off. She looked so strikingly beautiful. So fair, so fragile.
I got up and looked outside through the cracks. The snow had stopped and the clouds were moving westward in the sky. The full moon was shining down on me and lit up the barn through the cracks. I stared at the forest in the distance as I heard more howling. Then I had that strange feeling again. Like someone was watching me. I felt a cold shiver run down my back. I looked out through the cracks frantically, trying to spot whatever was out there. I sensed it was close, whatever it was.
Could it be the soldiers? I wondered. Were they following her? I held my gun tight in my hand. If anyone tried to come in here, I would shoot them, I thought. I might have been the youngest in my family, but I was a man now. I was able to make that kill if necessary.
I turned and looked at Catalina. She was sleeping a little uneasily, like she was dreaming heavily now. Her face seemed torn. I thought about what I had seen and wondered what she had seen. How was she ever going to survive in a new country? Would she be able to escape the cruelty in Bulgaria? I didn’t know much about what was going on in the rest of the world, or even in my own country. I had no idea if she could be safe there. But anywhere had to be better than here, I expected. Catalina cried in her sleep. I went to her and stroked her cheek. I whispered calming words in her ears, like my mother had done for me when I had bad dreams. Then I held her hand in mine, while wondering if I would ever see her again once I had helped her cross the border.
I desperately hoped so. Somehow, being in her presence made me feel whole; it filled me with an inner joy, even given the circumstances.
I kept my eyes on the gate and my other hand on the gun in case someone tried to enter the barn. My eyes were wide open, even though they did feel heavy and tired. My mind was alert. My mare was resting in the corner, apparently safe, knowing I was watching out for her. The night was quiet outside. Every now and then I heard more howling, but it seemed to be far away. Then there was a scratch. It sounded like it was coming from right outside of the building. I got up on my feet. My heart was pounding. Something was moving around outside of the barn. My mare heard it too. She was on her feet now and walked around uneasily with her head held high and ears in the air. I gazed out through the cracks again, but saw nothing. The full moon was alone in the sky now. It was so quiet out there in the snow.
The snow, I thought and stared at the area in front of the barn where we had entered a couple of hours ago. In the fresh snow, I saw big paw-prints.
Startled I tumbled backwards. It looked just like the paw-prints of a wolf. I had known and seen many like those before when I had gone hunting in the mountains. But none like these. These were enormous. This was a giant wolf.
Again, I wondered, did it know that we were in here? Was it waiting for us to show ourselves? Maybe it was clever enough to know that we would eventually have to leave the barn, and then it could attack? Had it followed us or had it just smelled us here?
I swallowed hard and sat next to Catalina. I had three bullets in my gun. I could kill it if it tried to enter. I couldn’t escape the images of the big paw-prints outside. This was definitely no ordinary wolf. I thought for a second about my mother and how worried I knew she had to be by now. I had no idea when I would see her again. I hoped the border was no more than a day’s travel away, but I didn’t know for certain. It might take two, considering the circumstances, I thought.
The night went quiet. Not even a howling in th
e distance, nor a sound from outside the barn. Every now and then, I got up and glanced outside, but I saw nothing. No wolf, no more paw-prints. Maybe it had just been passing by, I thought to myself with relief. On its nightly hunt, it might have picked up our scent, but then given up since we hid inside the barn? But wolves from the forest never came this close to humans or their houses. Usually, they were too afraid of us to come close to where we lived. I had heard of wolves attacking humans in packs, but only if the humans themselves had gone into the forest or went hunting in the mountains. This was highly unusual behavior.
I sat down next to Catalina and closed my eyes for only a second. My eyelids felt so heavy, I couldn’t resist any longer. A few seconds of rest couldn’t hurt, I thought. There was no way the wolf could come in here.
So I dozed off.
I was awaked by a large noise. A loud car engine outside. I woke with a gasp. It was bright daylight. I had slept too long. Voices were everywhere outside. Boots in the snow. I spotted uniforms through the cracks.
Catalina made a sound and I jumped her and held my hand over her mouth. “Someone’s outside,” I whispered. She nodded and I let go of her. Her eyes were tormented with fear. My heart was racing. I held her close to me.
The gate cracked and squeaked, then slowly pulled open. There was shouting and two soldiers revealed their faces. I lifted up my gun, ready to shoot at them, my finger steady on the trigger. I was ready. I wanted to shoot those bastards; I wanted to kill them for what they had done to Catalina and her family, for what they had done to those women and children in the city. But then I was grabbed from behind by a pair of strong hands. The gun was taken from me. Somehow, they had found a back entrance to the barn and attacked us from behind. Catalina screamed as two men grabbed her and started dragging her out of the barn.