She jumped when Gracepointe's long-time pastor appeared beside her. She hadn’t heard him come in, so lost she’d been in her thoughts. “Waiting for Stephanie?” he asked.
Tessa nodded and gave him a smile.
“You look deep in thought. Is everything okay?” His kindly voice warmed her heart, but she felt a pang of guilt as her mind had been on Ben and Jayden, and not on God. Just as well he couldn’t read her mind. “Yes, it is. Thank you. I enjoyed your message today. I really needed to be reminded that God’s in control even when I don’t understand His plans.”
“Well, I’m pleased to hear that. I always pray that my preaching will draw my congregation closer to God and encourage them in their walk.” The ingrained lines around the pastor’s eyes creased further as he patted her hand and returned her smile.
When tears pricked her eyes, she tried to push them away. Why did she always get emotional around him? Maybe it was his kindly manner, but he managed to get below her surface so easily, and it was embarrassing. She chastised herself and lowered her head so he couldn’t see her moist eyes.
“Is there anything in particular I can help you with or pray about before I leave?”
She shook her head but then stopped. She was so used to doing that—saying she was fine when she wasn't, saying no when she meant yes, and yes when she meant no. Maybe she should talk with him. After all, he knew her as well as anyone. In fact, he probably knew her better than most, possibly even more than her parents did.
She wiped her eyes with her other hand and took a deep breath. “There is something you might be able to help me with.” She lifted her eyes and looked into his kindly face. “I know this might sound silly, but after my breakup with Michael, I've been wondering how I’ll know when God brings the right person into my life. I’d always thought Michael was the one, but then…” Her voice faltered, and she swallowed the lump that had climbed into her throat.
“Ah, Tessa. It’s dangerous for people to think that God has one perfect person out there for them to marry. Of course, God already knows who you’ll marry, if indeed you marry at all. But if you search endlessly for the right one, you'll probably never find him because there is no perfect spouse.” Pausing, he indicated they should sit.
“Too often people expect God to miraculously bring the right person into their lives, but that’s usually not what He does. God leaves it entirely up to us to make a wise choice. He’s set only one condition—and that is that believers should marry fellow believers.
“I'll give you the same advice I gave to your mother when she wanted to know if your father was the right one for her.”
Tessa looked up, wondering if she’d heard right. Mum had doubts about marrying a man as loving, strong, and hard-working as Dad? No. He must have gotten her confused with someone else.
“Ask God to give you wisdom and discernment in your relationships,” he continued. “Regardless of what interests you may share, keep Christ at the centre of all you do, and ground yourself in His Word. Make sure that the one you run after is running after God. And pray, Tessa. Pray for God to prepare you for your husband. Pray for God to prepare you to handle all the joys, tears, heartache and commitment that go into making a godly marriage.”
She nodded, accepting the fact that although Michael had gone to church, he’d never been committed, and she couldn’t say with all honesty that he was running after God. But was she? She thought so, but she was running after so many things. Was God her focus? Was she seeking Him with all her heart? If she were honest, she’d have to say no, she hadn’t been running after God, even though at times she thought she had. But from now on, she’d make sure she was.
“Tessa, also know that if you remain unmarried, God’s love for you doesn’t depend on your marital status.” She didn’t want to hear that. Even though she was racing towards her thirties, remaining single hadn’t entered her thinking. She’d always assumed she’d get married and have children. But what if that doesn’t happen? Could she cope with the loneliness of remaining single—possibly forever? A few months on her own and she was struggling. Her chest tightened at the thought. God would really have to help with that.
“Don’t worry, Tessa.” He patted her hand. “You’ve got plenty of time, and I’m sure there’s many a young man who’d jump at the chance of spending time with you. Just be discerning and don’t rush into anything. Okay?”
She nodded and smiled through the tears blurring her eyes.
“If you don't mind, can I pray for you before we part?”
She sniffed. “That would be lovely. Thank you.” She released a slow breath and closed her eyes.
He placed his hand lightly on her shoulder. Streams of sunlight, stained a rainbow of colours by the glass windows of the church, cast a heavenly illumination about them as his gentle voice implored God to shower her with His love and peace, and to give her wisdom and discernment in her relationships.
“Thank you,” she said gratefully when he finished.
“Always my pleasure, dear.” He squeezed her hand and then stood. “Let me know if you’d like to chat again.”
“I will. Thank you.”
She had only a few minutes longer to wait before Stephanie came out from choir rehearsal. As they drove home, Tessa felt more at peace than she had since breaking up with Michael, and she pushed any romantic notion about Ben out of her mind.
Chapter 7
Stephanie sat behind her desk and glanced at the clock on the wall. Ten more minutes until Ben was due. Drumming her fingers on the desk, she leaned back in her chair and sighed deeply. Even though they’d had two meetings a week for the past month, they’d made little progress. She’d been hopeful during last Friday’s meeting that things were starting to turn around, but in the end she’d been disappointed when he left abruptly.
“Come in,” she said in answer to the knock on her office door.
Rod Casey, her supervisor, entered and sat on a chair on the opposite side of the desk.
Her stomach tightened while she waited for him to speak.
“I received your case studies on Annabel and her brother, as well as Gwen's.”
Stephanie held her breath. So much time had been invested in getting those reports right.
“Annabel's was excellent—I was very impressed.” He looked up and held her gaze. “But Gwen’s?” She didn’t like the look on his face. Her heart fell. She’d really struggled to put hers together, especially after the woman cancelled.
“I’m not so happy with that one. You could have shown more empathy and understanding with her situation. I know she cancelled, but I’m going to move her to another case worker for follow up. You can continue working with Annabel.”
She couldn’t believe it. She felt like a school-girl who’d just been reprimanded and had her privileges withdrawn. She didn’t deserve this. Not after all the time she’d put in. And this was supposed to be a Christian counselling service. Where was the support for their workers? No wonder they struggled to keep their staff.
Swallowing her disappointment, she put on her professional voice. “I’m sorry it wasn’t what you wanted. I’ll do better with the next one.” She drew a deep breath and lifted her chin. “Ben Williams’ report is due in two weeks? Correct?”
“Yes. I'll email you some pointers, but I'm sure you'll do better with him. I look forward to receiving it.”
Despite her show of bravado, as soon as Rod left, Stephanie’s shoulders drooped. If he knew how little progress she’d made with Ben, he wouldn’t be so confident. The only progress worth noting was that Ben now had a dog. And that she’d finally managed to get more than two words out of him.
A moment later, another knock sounded on her door. Her shoulders drooped further. He would be early, today of all days. Maybe she could say she was unwell and postpone the meeting. But that would be running away. No, she could do this. Standing, she drew a deep breath and smoothed her skirt, adopting her professional manner before responding.
&nbs
p; “Come in.”
When Ben entered, she welcomed him with a smile she hoped looked warmer than it felt and waved him to his usual chair before taking the opposite seat. She cleared her throat. “How was your weekend?”
He shrugged off-handedly. “It was okay.”
How many more times could they go through the same old routine? If only he’d open up. She must be doing something wrong to have made such little progress. Two weeks left to get somewhere… her resolve hardened. She’d make progress today if it killed her. Forcing herself to relax, she softened her voice. “How is Jayden doing?”
He shrugged again and looked down at his hands. “He’s fine, I guess. But all he seems to care about now is Bindy.” He looked up and met her gaze. “Yesterday, he didn’t want to come to church with me. First time that’s happened.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. How’s he doing at school?”
“His grades have improved a little. I’m sure it’s because of Bindy. I told him if he didn't pick up his game, he wouldn’t be going to puppy classes. Seems to have worked.” He ran his hands down his smart trouser pants and then glanced out the window. “But I’m concerned about the friends he's hanging out with at school. They aren't the best of kids.”
A crack. Might only be a small one, but it was a crack. And he’d said way more than two words… She smiled to herself. There was hope.
“Jayden’s causing you a great deal of stress and worry, isn’t he?”
Ben let out a long sigh. “Yes.”
A one-word answer. Drat! She’d have to make sure she didn’t ask questions he could answer with a simple yes or no. She really was no good at this.
“Let's talk about your work. Are you happy at your current workplace?”
“Yes.”
She berated herself. She’d done it again. Use a different tack, Stephanie. “Being a sole parent and holding down a full-time job can’t be easy. How are you managing?”
He looked at her guardedly. “Okay, I think. I try to get home as early as I can, but sometimes I get held up.” He looked out the window and stared into the distance.
Come on, Ben, give me more. You talked to Tessa, why can’t you talk to me?
He finally turned his head but gazed down at his hands. “I got offered a partnership last week.”
Her brow shot up. “Congratulations! Are you going to accept?”
He raised his head. “I’m not sure. I’d like the challenge, but I don’t know if I should. I need to give an answer by the end of the week, after the Accounting Awards.”
“Is that like the Grammy’s for accountants?”
“Kind of. It’s this Friday evening. I was going to take Jayden, but I doubt he’ll want to come. It’s not really an event for kids.”
Stephanie’s mind worked overtime. Maybe he could ask Tess… she’d be so excited. And maybe she could do some sleuthing for me at the same time.
She cleared her throat. Her heart rate increased. “Perhaps you could ask that woman you met at puppy training to go with you?” She hoped it sounded natural. It sounded contrived to her.
He shook his head. “I don’t think so. I’ve only met her the once. And she’d read too much into it if I did. I’ll just go on my own.”
Stephanie’s shoulders sagged. “Why not ask her? It might do you good.”
“No, I couldn’t do that. But thanks for the suggestion.”
She studied him as he rose. Such a sad sack. A pity, because he’s a nice-looking man.
* * *
For the next two days, Stephanie’s suggestion played over in Ben’s mind. Something about Tessa Scott had touched him even though they’d only met the once. But could he ask her to the Awards Ceremony? What if she turned him down?
When he saw her at puppy training school the next evening, he struggled to put two words together. She smiled at him and said hello, but the connection he thought they’d shared the previous week didn’t seem to be there. Probably just as well. But he’d almost decided to ask her to the awards dinner, and now disappointment sagged through him.
He caught her eye several times during the session, and each time his heart lifted. He might be imagining it, but maybe the connection was still there.
After the lesson, he hurried to catch her as she walked briskly to her car. She seemed in a hurry to leave. Maybe he should just let her go. His heart thudded. But it was now or never. He swallowed hard and called out.
She stopped and turned, her eyes lighting up for an instant, but then a look he couldn’t decipher flashed across her face.
His hands grew clammy. He held her gaze and willed words to come out of his mouth. “Tessa, how… how are you?”
Her head tilted. “I’m fine. How are you?”
“I’m fine too.” He gulped.
Jayden had caught up and stood beside him with Bindy on her leash.
Ben ran his hand through his hair. “Can you take the dogs for a run for a few moments? That’s if Tessa doesn’t mind.”
“Sure.” Jayden shot him a puzzled look but took the leash from Tessa and walked off with the two dogs.
“I’m sorry, Tessa. I didn’t mean to be presumptuous.” Ben shoved his hands into his pockets to hide his nervousness.
Her face broke into that alluring smile and gave him hope. In the dim light of the car park, her eyes sparkled with amusement. She laughed lightly, and he relaxed. “No, it’s fine. So, how have you been, really?”
He let out a huge breath. He couldn’t remember being this nervous asking Kathryn out. “Not bad. Still working through things. Getting there.”
“That’s good to hear.” She glanced at Jayden trying to untangle the two pups from each other. “Jayden still seems taken with Bindy.”
“Yes, he is.”
Her eyes lifted to his, and his heart skipped another beat. They chatted about the puppy training sessions and how both pups had improved, but all the while he was waiting for the right opportunity to invite her to the awards dinner. When she asked what he did, he breathed a sigh of relief.
“I’m an accountant.” The bemused look on her face surprised him. Was being an accountant a bad thing? “I know that sounds boring compared to being a vet, but it’s actually really interesting.”
She shook her head. “No, no. It’s just that my father’s an accountant. He says it’s a good, stable occupation.” She said those last words in a low deep voice, but her eyes shone.
He relaxed a little more. This was it… but could he do it? He cleared his throat. “This might sound strange, but the Annual Accounting Awards are coming up, and I wondered if you’d like to accompany me.” He’d got it out, but only just. His heart pounded. He’d put himself out there, made himself vulnerable. What would she say?
Her eyes widened and she seemed lost for words.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.” A heavy weight descended on his chest.
“No, it was just a surprise. When is it?”
He lifted his gaze and hope filled his heart. “This Friday evening. Tomorrow, actually. I’m sorry it’s such short notice. I'll understand if you can't…”
“Ben, stop it. I’d love to go.”
A wave of relief washed through his body. “You don’t know how nervous I was. I expected you to say no.”
“Well, I didn’t, and I’ll look forward to it.” Her mouth curved into a smile that reached all the way to her blue eyes and into his heart.
After getting her address and giving her the details, he drove home with Jayden, totally amazed that she’d agreed to go with him.
* * *
Tessa entered the house and nearly bumped into Stephanie, who was carrying a load of freshly washed and dried laundry.
“Whoa, what's the rush, and what are you grinning ear to ear about?” Stephanie asked.
“You won't believe it!” Tessa sashayed past her friend and released Sparky onto the floor before continuing.
“Let me guess.” Stephanie tilted her head and held a finger to her
lips. “Ben asked you out on a date?”
Tessa stopped mid sashay. “How did you know?”
“Maybe because I was the one who suggested it.”
“You did—what?” She glared at Stephanie, nostrils flaring. All the way home she’d talked to God about Ben, thinking it funny that after deciding he wasn’t right for her, it turned out he might be after all. Especially after Stephanie had let slip he was a churchgoer. But knowing she was behind the invitation put a different slant on it altogether.
“Come on, Tess. It doesn’t matter how it came about. You’re going on a date! Be happy.”
Tessa slumped on the couch and crossed her arms. It hurt to discover Ben hadn’t asked her out without being prompted. But did it really matter? Maybe not. But how would she explain to him that her housemate was his counsellor without him feeling he’d been set up? She humphed. God, this is way too complicated and I’m not sure what to think. Please help me.
Stephanie sat on the couch and hugged her. “It’ll be all right, you’ll see.”
Chapter 8
“Are you sure this looks okay?” The following night, Tessa stood in front of the full-length mirror in her room and fiddled with the navy-coloured sequin mesh gown she hadn’t worn since her graduation. At short notice, it was the only thing she could find, and whilst it still fitted her, she was more at home in veterinary scrubs or gym pants.
“Yes, for the hundredth time, you look like a million dollars!” Stephanie shook her head and laughed.
Tessa had finally decided to let go of her annoyance about how or why Ben had asked her out, and just be happy he had. Her heart skipped several beats when the doorbell rang.
“Go on, you’ll be fine.” Stephanie hugged her. “I’ll stay out of sight. Have a great time. But don’t forget to find out what you can.”
THE TRUE LOVE SERIES BOX SET: A Christian Romance Page 4