“I hope he’ll be happy, but who knows with Jayden? Up one minute, down the next.” Ben lifted her chin as he continued gazing into her eyes. “We’ll just have to trust God to work it out.”
She drew in a long breath and nodded. Not only would they need to trust God to work it out in Jayden’s life, she’d need to trust God to work it out in her own. Being pregnant was definitely an unexpected turn of events. She closed her eyes and rested her head against Ben’s shoulder as he held her tightly. God, I need You more than ever right now. Be my strength and fortress, and help me be the best mother I can be, to both this little baby and to Jayden.
Tessa made an appointment with the doctor for Monday afternoon after work. Her pregnancy was confirmed. She was six weeks, and the doctor said she was in excellent health and should have a normal pregnancy, and that it wasn’t that uncommon to fall pregnant whilst taking birth control pills.
Her stomach was full of butterflies as she left the surgery. Although she’d had two days to prepare herself for this news, having the doctor confirm she was indeed carrying a brand new life inside her made it all the more real, and a thousand thoughts scurried through her mind causing her to heart to race.
Seated in her car, she placed her hand on her tummy and settled her breathing. I really am having a baby. The truth of the matter finally sank in and she let out a slow breath as she smiled to herself. “Lord, this really is so unexpected, and I’m sorry for my initial reaction. Now it’s confirmed, I’m excited to be having a baby. Thank You for your infinite blessings, and thank You for this wonderful gift.” Warmth flowed from her heart and spread through her body. “I’m not sure I’m ready to be a mother to a teenager and a baby, Lord, but I trust You to be with me the whole way. Bless this little baby, and help Ben and me to be the best parents ever. Thank You, Lord.” Her voice choked and tears filled her eyes. She dabbed the tears with a tissue and then lowered her gaze to her stomach. “Now to tell your daddy…”
When Ben walked in the door not long after Tessa, he had a spring to his step and an expectant look on his face.
Tessa stood in the hallway with a playful grin on her face. “The doctor confirmed it. We’re having a baby!”
A huge smile split his face as he whipped a bunch of brightly coloured flowers from behind his back and presented them to her. He wrapped his free arm around her and pressed his lips to her forehead.
“That is the best news.” His eyes glistened and the smile on his face stretched from ear to ear.
“I know. It really is.” Her voice caught in her throat. Now she’d gotten used to the idea of being pregnant, giving Ben a child so soon after their wedding filled her with a great sense of joy, especially knowing how much he’d longed for more children in his first marriage—he’d been denied that pleasure by Kathryn’s selfishness. It didn’t matter that it had happened earlier than planned; it was exciting and she would embrace the journey. She leaned her head against his shoulder, and his arm closed around her waist, pulling her close. She’d never felt so loved in all her life.
As she placed the flowers into a vase a short while later, she told him what the doctor had said. “Everything is fine, but she suggested we not tell anyone for a while, just in case.”
Ben’s brows came together. “Does she think something might be wrong?”
“No, she just said it’s early days, and it was only a suggestion.”
He let out a relieved sigh. “Nothing’s going to happen, but if you want to wait a while to tell everyone, that’s okay. It can be our secret for now.” He stepped closer and embraced her once more.
He insisted she rest in the living room while he and Jayden cooked dinner.
“But why? I’m not sick, just preg...” She clamped her hand to her mouth, her eyes springing open. Had Jayden heard? She slowly turned her head to where he sat in the family room, engrossed in a television programme. She turned her head back to Ben. “Phew, that was close.” She rolled her eyes and let out a small chuckle.
“We’re not going to be able to keep it from him for long, you know. Maybe we should tell him now.” Ben slid his arm around her waist and pulled her close. He was paying her so much attention it made her laugh.
Her face straightened. Would it hurt to tell Jayden now? Maybe he’d appreciate being part of the secret. “If you think we should tell him, it’s okay with me.”
“Let’s tell him over dinner.” Ben kissed the top of her head before letting her go. “Come on, show me what to do.”
Tessa shook her head and laughed. “One day you’ll learn to cook, Ben Williams.”
A short while later, as the three of them sat down to a chicken stir fry Ben had helped her make, Tessa leapt up and raced for the bathroom, making it just in time. After heaving up all the contents of her stomach, she stood slowly and looked in the mirror. Her face had paled and her hair hung limply against her cheeks. If they hadn’t decided to tell Jayden already, he’d certainly be asking questions now. She splashed her face with cold water and rinsed her mouth. So much for morning sickness. What about evening sickness? Nobody had told her about that.
“I’m sorry,” she said when she returned to the table. Ben reached out and squeezed her hand. She met his gaze and nodded. He cleared his throat.
Jayden lifted his head, looking first at his father and then at her.
“Jayden, we have some news for you.” Ben paused and squeezed her hand again. His eyes glistened, causing her to push back tears of her own. Oh God, please help Jayden to take this okay. Her heart beat faster as she glanced at his suspicious expression.
His eyes narrowed. “Well, what is it?”
“We’re having a baby. You’re going to have a little brother or sister before the end of the year.” A large grin split Ben’s face, but slowly faded as Jayden’s eyes darkened.
Jayden folded his arms and glared at his father.
Tessa touched his arm gently. “A baby isn’t going to change anything. Your dad and I both love you dearly. You might not believe it, but it’s the truth.”
Ben leaned forward. “Tessa’s right. Having a baby isn’t going to change anything between us.”
“Yeah right.” Jayden rolled his eyes to the ceiling before sliding further down in his chair. “I bet the camping trip’s off.”
“Absolutely not.” Tessa straightened. “In fact, we’re picking the gear up after your football game on Saturday. Isn’t that right, Ben?” She willed him to support her, and to be sensitive to Jayden’s needs at this pivotal time.
“Ah, yes, that’s right. It’s all happening. I’ll talk to Neil’s parents on the weekend to make sure they’re still okay with him coming. So, the camping trip is definitely on. As Tessa told me in no uncertain words a little earlier, she’s not sick, she’s just pregnant.”
She caught his gaze and gave him an approving smile.
“So, you see, a baby isn’t going to alter anything, and your dad and I are sure you’re going to be a fantastic big brother when he or she comes along.” Tessa touched his arm again lightly, and smiled into his eyes, trying to draw him out of his negativity. “Come on—everything is going to be all right.”
Jayden shrugged one shoulder and picked up his fork.
Tessa’s heart went out to him—no doubt he felt threatened by the news. She and Ben would just have to convince him that their assurances were sincere and genuine.
Having a baby wouldn’t change anything between them.
She picked up a tiny piece of chicken and popped it tentatively into her mouth. It was going to be a long nine months.
Chapter 16
Late the following Saturday morning, Ben and Tessa sat under a row of shady gumtrees bordering the football field where Jayden’s team was about to play. Tessa sipped her coffee as she gazed about. Beside her, Ben flipped through the Financial Times. She had no idea how he could read such a boring newspaper.
She’d been thinking about their visit to her parents’ place after the game all morning. Several
weeks had passed since their last visit, and she wondered if her mother, being naturally intuitive, would notice anything different about her without being told. It wouldn’t be a surprise if she did. Tessa let out a slow breath. Maybe we should just tell them. She turned to Ben and voiced her thoughts.
Lifting his head from the newspaper, he gave her a puzzled look. “I thought you wanted to wait?”
“Well, I did, but Mum will probably notice anyway, so I’m thinking we should.”
“Your decision, my sweet. As long as you’re happy about it, it’s fine by me.” He folded the newspaper neatly and placed it in his backpack. “I’m sure they’ll be thrilled.”
She gave a soft laugh. “Yes, they will. First grandchild and all.” Her laugh fell flat. “Sorry. That was thoughtless. I’m not used to thinking of Jayden as their grandson, but I need to.”
“It’s okay.” He squeezed her hand and smiled reassuringly. Leaning in close, he whispered, “Just don’t say it in front of Jayden.” His eyes glinted mischievously.
Tessa hit him playfully. “I won’t. Look, here they come.” She pointed to the team of boys running onto the field. Jayden, with the number ten on the back of his blue and red striped jersey, glanced their way and she stood and waved without thinking.
Ben tugged her shirt, pulling her back to her seat. “Not sure he’d want you to do that.”
She hung her head in mock shame. “Have I messed up again?”
Ben chuckled. “I think he’ll forgive you. At least we’re here, watching. He can’t complain about that.”
Not long into the game, Jayden was passed the ball ten metres from the try line. She and Ben both jumped out their seats and held their breath. Jayden fumbled but then pulled the ball in, tucking it under his arm as he sprinted towards the line. He slid into touch as two much heavier boys from the opposing team made a lunge for him.
“That’s my boy!” Ben thrust his arm into the air and yelled. Tessa stared at him, laughing. She’d never seen or heard him so excited.
Jayden couldn’t wipe the smile off his face as his team mates congratulated him for scoring the first try of the match.
The team went on to win by fifteen points, but Jayden saw no further action. Tessa expected him to be the star of the team, but it seemed his one and only try was just that. A one and only. Every time he was passed the ball, he dropped it, and his team mates stopped passing to him. He fumbled any tackle he attempted, and eventually the coach benched him.
Ben sighed and lost interest in the game, returning to his Financial Times. Tessa kept glancing at Jayden as he sat on the bench with a dejected look on his face, kicking the dirt below with the toe of his boot. Her heart went out to him. She recalled the words he spoke to her not so long ago: “Dad played rugby when he was in school, and he was good at it. He won a lot of awards. He’d be disappointed if I didn’t play.”
Maybe he doesn’t want to play after all but isn’t game to tell his dad. Poor Jayden.
On the way to her parents’ place, she tried to make light of it, but neither Ben nor Jayden responded to her attempts at conversation and she finally gave up and looked out the window. She hoped Ben would be more sensitive with the new baby than he was with Jayden.
When they announced their news over lunch, Eleanor jumped up and hugged Tessa and Telford clapped Ben on the back.
“I must admit I did suspect,” her mother said as she hugged Tessa tightly. “We’ll have to go shopping for maternity clothes, and we can look for baby items at the same time. I know it’s early, but it never hurts to plan.”
“Slow down, Mum, I’m not even showing yet! But a shopping trip would be lovely.” Her mother would most likely want her to wear those old fashioned maternity dresses that made expectant mothers look like elephants, but it didn’t matter. It’d been too long since she and her mother had spent any quality time together, and she would look forward to the outing, even if they disagreed on what clothes to buy.
Tessa stood and began collecting the dirty lunch plates. “Don’t forget we’re also picking up the camping gear. Dad, do you want to take Ben and Jayden into the shed and sort it?”
“Well, that’s a not too subtle way of being told you’re not wanted!” Her father laughed his big laugh, his bushy eyebrows bobbing up and down above his heavily creased eyes, but he rose anyway. Ben and Jayden followed him outside.
Over the dishes, Eleanor asked Tessa how she was coping with everything. “I know you’re pregnant, but I can sense when you have things on your mind.”
Tessa sighed and looked her mother in the eye. “How do you do it, Mum? How do you just know?”
Eleanor stopped washing and dried her hands on her apron. “All I can say is that God has given me the gift of discernment, and I can often see below the surface and know when things aren’t quite right. Not always, but often.” She reached out and took Tessa’s hand. “So, what’s troubling you, my precious one? Is it Ben, or is it Jayden? Or is it someone else?”
That was a good question. If she were honest, she’d have to say it was both Ben and Jayden, although things with the two of them had settled down some, and she was learning to accept Ben’s fussy ways, although she doubted she’d ever accept his strictness with Jayden. But it wasn’t just them. It was work; it was Harrison and Margaret; it was Sabrina; it was Stephanie; it was Michael. Tessa’s shoulders fell. Michael. She still hadn’t given him an answer and he’d be in Brisbane this week.
She wrung her hands. “It’s a whole lot of things, and I don’t know where to start.” Or how much I should say…
“Let’s have a cup of tea, and start wherever you want.”
Tessa sat with her mother and told her about Margaret and Harrison, and how sad it was that Harrison refused to see his mother even though she’d been trying to make amends for such a long time. “You were a stay-at-home mother. Do you think it’s wrong for mothers to work?”
“That was a long time ago, sweetheart. Things have changed, and it’s normal for most mothers to work, but back then, your father and I made the decision that caring for the family would be my main priority, and that we’d go without some of the luxuries we’d otherwise have. Your friend Margaret made the other choice, and it seems she’s still paying the price for it. But I can’t say if it’s right or wrong. It’s something you and Ben have to work through together. I’m guessing that’s what you’re getting at. Am I right?”
Tessa nodded. “Yes, of course you’re right.” She rested her forearms on the table, her hands wrapped around her tea-cup. “I’m not really enjoying being manager.” She drew in a deep breath. “I’d love to go back to my old job, but I don’t think Fran would be happy with that, especially when she finds out I’m pregnant.”
“You can learn a lot by seeing things through, and I’m sure Fran will be flexible if you decide to return to work after a decent break.” Eleanor placed her hand lightly on Tessa’s arm. “Talk to Ben about it, dear, and pray about it. But don’t give in just because it’s too hard. It’s good to be challenged sometimes, and you never know, God might have placed you in that position to help build the bridge between Harrison and his mum.
Exactly what she’d been thinking, but not necessarily what she wanted to hear. Maybe I do run when things get too hard, like Sabrina said. Like with Michael…
Tessa shifted her gaze to her tea-cup and inhaled slowly. What would her mother say to this one? She cocked her head slightly. “Michael’s back in town. He’s been in rehab, and he’s recommitted his life to Jesus.”
Her mother’s immediate response was to smile. “That’s great news, sweetheart.” But her smile was soon replaced with a concerned expression as she studied her daughter. “What’s the matter?” She leaned forward and touched Tessa’s arm lightly.
Tessa levelled her gaze at her mother. “He wants to see me.”
“Oh.” Her mother sat back and drew a breath.
Tessa pinched her bottom lip. “Ben doesn’t want me to see him.”
Eleanor held her daughter’s gaze. “I can understand that. I imagine Ben’s threatened by Michael, especially after what happened with his first wife.”
“Yes, I know, but this is different. It’s not like I’m going to run off with Michael or anything. I’m just annoyed that Ben doesn’t seem to trust me.”
Her mother leaned back. “Why do you want to see him?”
Tessa inhaled slowly. “Just to clear the air between us. I still care about him, and I feel bad about how it all ended.” Her eyes misted over.
“Yes, but if it’s causing problems between you and Ben, don’t go. Ben’s your priority now, not Michael, regardless of how you feel.”
Tessa bit her lip and looked out the window. “I had a feeling you’d say that.”
Before her mother could ask any more questions, the boys stomped up the stairs and entered the kitchen, filling it with their chatter.
“I think we got everything out, but you can check if you want.” Her father chuckled. “It’s all pretty old. Hasn’t been used since your mother and I went on that road trip about eight years ago, but it should be in good order.”
“Everything of yours is in good order.” Tessa laughed lightly, brushing away her concerns over Michael for now.
“We pulled out that old tent of yours, too. Hopefully it’ll be all right for the two boys. Might pay to check it.”
“What you’re saying is that because it’s mine it might not be in good order?” Tessa raised her brows playfully.
“Well…”
“Telford, that’s enough!” Eleanor reached back and tapped her husband’s hands. Although she sounded serious, there was an underlying warmth to her voice.
“We’ll check it, Dad. It’s okay.” Tessa let out a resigned sigh.
“Have you been camping before, Jayden?” Eleanor turned and looked at Jayden who’d been hanging back behind both Telford and Ben. She grabbed his hand and drew him down onto the seat beside her.
THE TRUE LOVE SERIES BOX SET: A Christian Romance Page 21