“The promise I made to you that night Granny, has caused me more turmoil and bewilderment than I could ever imagine. I tried to care for them the best way I know how. Mama San left me with three children under the age of two and moved out of state when Aunt Yavon was murdered in front of my mother. Only for her to pass away from an illness she could have prevented from taking her life. And then there is my mother, the person that causes my emotions to take an immediate turn for the worse with just the thought or sight of her. The last thing I want to do is to disappoint you, but I have come to a point where I feel like I have to release myself from that bondage. I did the best I could with Mama San, I know she loved me but she could never get over the relationship you and I had. My last deed to her was her funeral, Chris and I took out a loan to bury her. She was my grandmother, and despite what happened throughout the years, I loved her and felt it was my responsibility to lay her to rest. My biggest fear is that as soon as I step completely away from Mommy, something is going to happen that I can’t control. She is my mother, no matter what; drug addict, prostitute, thief, or a homeless person in the street. One thing I know without a question is that she is still a child of God just like everyone else walking this earth. And no matter what happens, it is something He has allowed to happen and there is nothing I can do to prevent or change it.”
“With tears rolling, she said, “Please forgive me for releasing her completely to the Creator. I promise to pray for her even when I don’t want to, I promise to love her even when I feel the spirit of hatred setting in. And even though she left me standing at your bedside holding your hand as you took your last breath, I still promise to be there to hold her hand when she decides she has had enough.”
Tiffany felt a cool breeze come across her face as if it was a kiss of confirmation from May. Tiffany wiped her tears away for what seemed like the thousandth time that day, laid her hand on May’s headstone, and prepared herself to leave. As she buckled her seatbelt inside the van, she realized she had about thirty mins to get to the school and a little time in between to feed her children and make her meeting.
CHAPTER 6
T iffany pulled in to the school’s parking lot and checked to make sure there was no sign of distress on her face. As soon as she gave her lips a touch of lip gloss, she was good to go. Once all her babies were in the car, she asked what they wanted to eat and, of course, Cori was the odd man out, so as usual, Tiffany made a stop at McDonald’s and one at Penn Station. Inside the house, she informed them she had a meeting with a potential client and instructed them to go about their normal routines. After getting them settled in, she was off for her meeting.
Tiffany made it a priority to make it to the meeting point about thirty minutes before her clients to get her contracts and presentations prepared and ready to go. Once she was all set up and ready to go, she had about ten minutes to spare and decided to reflect on her day. She thanked God in advance for bringing her through the situation she is currently in. Just as she finished her quiet time with God, she noticed a young lady that looked to be in her mid-thirties walk in. She was dressed as if she had just come from the gym and had on a ball cap with black sunglasses. The woman appeared to be looking for someone so Tiffany assumed it was Ms. Howard and stood up and waved at her. With a smile, she waved back and headed over to greet Tiffany.
“Tiffany?”, she said.
“Yes ma’am. Ms. Howard?”
“Girl, please just call me Ang.”
“Alright then, Ang, it is. Nice to meet you.”
“Same here.”
The two sat down and began to get acquainted. “So, Ang, I hope you don’t mind, I took the liberty of ordering us a couple of Caramel Macchiatos- it’s my favorite.”
“That was nice of you. I’m a coffee lover so anything is great to me.”
The two shared a moment of laughter behind Ang’s comment. “So, let me start off by just giving you a little background information about myself. I am married to my high school sweetheart, together we have four amazing children. They are the reason we do what we do on a daily basis. I started my business five years ago doing simple party gifts for family members which later led to event planning. I have put together some pictures of some events so that you will have some idea of what I have done in the past. I’m going to start it for you now and afterwards you can give me your thoughts and we can talk about what you are envisioning for your wedding and how I can assist you with making it come together.”
In the seven minutes, it took Angela to view the slideshow, Tiffany noticed a few things about her potential client. She had not removed her dark sunglasses and the sun was definitely not shining in Starbucks. Every time the door opened she jumped in a concerning manner. However, there was something in Tiffany’s spirit that was telling her something wasn’t right with Ms. Howard. “So, what do you think?”
“I loved it,” Ang said with excitement in her voice.
“Great, now tell me a little bit about yourself and what you have in mind.”
“Well, I’m twenty-two-year-old single mother of a five-year old daughter. I’ve known my fiancé for about six months. We crossed paths at the club where I work part- time. He came in one night, we went for breakfast after I got off, and have been inseparable since.”
“That is amazing! So how was the proposal?”
“Oh, it was simple, only he and I.”
“Ok, simple is the best way to go a lot of times.”
“Yeah, I agree. So, tell me what you have in mind, your date, how many in your wedding party, and how many guests you and your fiancé will be expecting. And what’s his name by the way?”
“I’m sorry his name is Mike, Mike Wilson.”
“Alright, will he be helping you make this day come together?”
“I wish, but no, I don’t think he will be doing any decision making when it comes to this wedding.”
“Ok, well that makes things easier for you. Now let’s get to the good stuff,” Tiffany said with a little chuckle.
Ang, smiled and said, “Yes, lets! It will be a small, intimate ceremony with a total attendance of about fifty people including the wedding party. We would like it to be December 31st, New Year’s Eve.”
“What a way to bring in the new year,” Tiffany said.
“I thought so, too.”
“Have you found a location?”
“No, not yet. I was hoping you would be able to help with that. Of course, I can give you a few places you can look into that shouldn’t be too expensive.”
“Do you have colors picked out?”
“Black and platinum.”
“Ok, what about décor?”
“I’m not good at that kind of stuff, that’s why I called you.”
Tiffany smiled and said, “And that’s my specialty. Do you have any questions for me, Ang?”
“Only how much this is going to cost me.”
“Well, I have to put together my proposal for you, but with the info you have already given me, before your décor, between $1500 and $2000. That would include set up and tear down for both the wedding and reception, wedding programs, and save the date announcements. As soon as we can come to an agreement on the décor, we can lock your price in.”
“That sounds like a plan. How much will I need to secure the date with you?”
“Two hundred today.”
The young lady went into her purse and pulled out a wad full of what appeared to be one hundred dollar bills and gave Tiffany a thousand dollars. “I know what you said to give you, but I want to give that to you so you can get started on the task at hand.”
“Ok, it’s not necessary, but I can appreciate an eager bride. Let me give you a contract to sign and your receipt. Please read the contract as it does state all monies received are non-refundable and final payments are due sixty days prior to your wedding date.” Ang nodded and signed the contract without hesitation. “I’ll get started on ideas for décor as soon as you decide on your location. I have sent
you a link via text for the places that I think are great venues for intimate weddings. Call them ASAP because of your date, I’m sure some may be booked already. I will send you some centerpiece ideas to the email address you put on your contract within the next couple of days. Oh, and will either Mr. Wilson’s or your parents be assisting in your big day?”
With a look of disappointment, Ang responded, “No.”
“Ok. Well, I believe I have everything I need for now, Ang. Did you need anything else from me?”
“No, ma’am, but thank you for your assistance in helping me with my special day.”
“You are very welcome, Tiffany replied warmly. The two women stood up and Ang extended her hand to shake, but Tiffany opened her arms for a hug and Ang seemed to be more than grateful for the simple and much needed gesture. Once they released their embrace, Tiffany felt a jolt in her spirit yet again, but this time she couldn’t shake it, and being the person she was she asked her, “Is everything ok?”
“What do you mean,” Ang responded.
“I don’t know, it just seems to be something bothering you.”
“Oh no, I’m fine, thanks for asking.”
“No problem, well I will be in touch. Have a blessed night, Ang.”
“You do the same,” and the two went their separate ways. Tiffany gathered her things while Ang, made her way out of the door and into an old school Delta 88 with all the trimmings. Once Tiffany made it out of the Starbucks, she noticed the car was still there and her new client seemed to be in a somewhat heated conversation. And as much as she wanted to venture over and check on her, she decided to just wave good bye as she drove by.
CHAPTER 7
“ Mommy, is that you?”
“Yes, Cori, it’s me what do you need?”
“What are you about to do? I need my jeans for tomorrow washed.”
“There shouldn’t be any dirty clothes, Cori.”
“Well, they’re not in my closet.”
“Look again, because if I come up there and find them in your closet, I’m whoopin’ your ass.” Cori was already halfway down the steps, but that’s all that needed to be said for her to turn around and take a closer look in her closet. Tiffany had about an hour and a half before her husband made his way through the door, so she decided to try and get some things together to send over to her new client Angela. She went upstairs to change clothes and look in on the boys. On her way back down, she made a quick phone call to ask Chris what he wanted to eat since the kids had already eaten. He said he’d stop and get something for them both. That made her happy, she was officially in for the night. Tiffany went to her end spot on the couch and made herself comfortable with her tea in one hand and laptop in the other and started to work, or so she thought. Before she could even complete the second slide, Tiffany was off to dreamland.
***
It had been about six months since Tammy moved back home with her grandparents and daughter. Tiffany was becoming use to seeing her mother on a daily basis and was the happiest May had seen her. She had even left the comforts of May’s bed and slept with Tammy a few times. Tammy had found a job not too far from the house and was saving to move out. All in all, May was happy with the change her grandchild had made and was just praying that the change would spread out to her daughter Sandra. “Tiffany, come on and get your hair combed, I have a doctor’s appointment and we can’t be late.” Tiffany took her time getting to May, she hated getting her hair combed. Not only did she have long, thick hair, but with May’s arthritis it seemed like it took forever to get done. After getting dressed and ready to go, the phone rang just before they started down the stairs to leave.
“Stay right here, let me go answer the phone,” May told Tiffaany.
“Ok, Granny.” May trotted to the phone in what she thought was an all-out sprint.
“Hello.”
“You have a call from an inmate in the Marion County Jail. To accept the call, press 1. To decline the call, press 2.” May was overcome with peace and pressed 1.
“Hello mother,” said Sandra.
“Hi, Sandra.”
“I was just calling to let you know where I was.”
“Well, thank you. I will get some well needed rest tonight. What for this time?”
“They said I was receiving stolen property and had paraphernalia in my belongings.”
“Um, ok. I have to go to the doctor now, but I’ll call in the morning to see when you go to court. I’ll put some money on your books this weekend. I love you San.”
“Thank you. Love you too.”
And the call was over.
Once May got back to the steps, Tiffany asked the obvious question. “Who was on the phone, Granny?”
“It was your Mama San.”
“Oh, she coming over today?”
“No, not today baby, she is on vacation for a little bit. Now come on we have got to go.”
***
“Well, hello there, Little Miss Tiffany.”
“Hi, Ms. Linda.” The staff at Wishard Memorial was all too familiar with Tiffany since she had been coming to May’s appointments with her since she was a baby still in May’s arms. All the staff in the office loved and adored her and would take her behind the desk and allow her to stay with them when it was time for May to visit with Doctor Harris. The nursing staff would fight over who was going to attend to the freckled face, chunky, little princess. They kept toys and snacks in the office for her and she knew exactly where there were. May had at least three to four appointments a month and the diagnosis she was getting on this visit would be increasing that to at least one to two visits per week for a while.
After about forty-five minutes, Tiffany asked one of the nurses what was taking her granny so long. So, one of them went to check to see if May was almost done. Once she reached the room, May was exiting the room with her papers in hand. “There you are, Tiffany was starting to ask questions.”
May chuckled, “I’m sure, she is a mess. Who has her today?”
“She has been on my side today. Do you have lab work to do today Mama May?” Mama May is the name all the staff called May, even Dr. Harris.
“Not today, thank God. All I need to do is make my appointment and grab my baby.”
“Ok, well I’ll meet you at the check-out desk with your package.”
May rounded the corner to the check-out desk and was greeted by another voice, “Hey Mama May, when does Dr. Harris need to see you back?”
“Next week unfortunately.”
“So soon, are you ok?”
“I will be, nothing prayer won’t fix.”
“I hear you.”
“Granny, it’s time to go?”
“Yes, Tiff, it’s time to go. Are you ready?”
“Yep, I’m ready.”
“Ok, tell everybody you will see them next time.”
“Bye, everybody, see ya next time.”
“Bye, Tiffany,” they all said in unison.
Tiffany grabbed May’s hand and they were gone. Even though May had just received the diagnosis of Lupus, she was still in good spirits. She knew very little about the disease that was slowly taking over her body. She knew that it was attacking her organs, there was no cure for it at the time, and doctors know very little about it. But May had faith that things would work out for the good. The fifteen-minute ride home proved to be all Tiffany needed to put her to sleep. May had to stop the Alright Man to carry Tiffany up the stairs for her. Once May made it up herself, she realized that Tammy had made it in from work and was in the bathroom taking a shower.
“Tammy.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I didn’t know you were home. I’m going to run back out to the store, Tiffany was sleep so I came on home. Do you need anything?”
“No, ma’am. Do you know how long you’ll be gone? I was going over on Sutherland to hang out before we go skating this evening.”
“I won’t be long.”
Tammy looked in on her child and saw
that she was sleeping soundly across May’s bed. She couldn’t help but to start thinking of her child’s life. How could I leave her, she is so beautiful. What kind of mother just leaves the child she carried for nine months? What kind of mother puts drugs into their child’s system while they are forming in her womb? What kind of mother doesn’t show their child love or affection on a consistent basis? What kind of mother doesn’t know every detail about their child, shoe size, dress size, where they pajama draw is. Why doesn’t she hate me like I hate myself for not being there for her? With tears filling her eyes, Tammy rubbed Tiffany’s head, kissed her on the cheek walked to the bedroom in which she had called her own for the past few months. She grabbed a purple Crown Royal bag from the back of the drawer, went to the bathroom, and locked the door behind her.
Trying to talk herself out of what she was about to do, Tammy spoke to herself out loud, “You are 172 days clean. You have a job. You and your daughter are finally bonding.” But she still continued to prep the rock in the tube to meet her lips, anticipating the moment she would feel the poison that was going to take the hurt she felt at that moment away. Right before she inhaled, Tammy said, “Lord help me.”
Tiffany was awakened by a loud thump. She got up and ran through the house yelling for her granny, but she was nowhere to be found. Tiffany ran to the window and saw that May’s car was not there. She ran through the house yet again, going into every room but still no May. Finally, she went to turn the bathroom doorknob, but it was locked and she couldn’t get in. Tiffany started banging on the door in a state of panic, “Granny, open the door!!” Crying and screaming at the top of her lungs, she had no idea what to do so she started to bang her body up against the door and finally the door came ajar. And there lay Tammy unconscious. Tiffany had no clue what she was looking at, but she knew it wasn’t right. Tammy was not moving and the smell in the bathroom was one that she had never smelled before. Tiffany screamed, “Mommy, Mommy wake up!” Still Tammy laid motionless and lifeless. Tiffany moved everything out of the way as it appeared her mother had fallen over the table that sat in front of the toilet. Tiffany tried several times to wake her mother up but nothing worked so Tiffany decided to head next door for help. But as soon as she reached the bottom step May was turning the key to open the door and could hear Tiffany’s call for help.
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