by Cora Reilly
“I know. Remo told me, and I heard them through the open window.”
My eyes widened. “You knew they were listening and you didn’t stop?”
“I didn’t care but I knew you would so I didn’t tell you.”
“Oh God, please kick Remo’s ass next time he tries something like that.”
Nino thrust into me again. “I’ll let him know your feelings on the matter.”
I moaned, then shook my head. “No...no, don’t. I’d rather he forget it ever happened.”
Nino nodded, his eyes focused on his fingers, and my toes began to curl at his hungry look. My release hit me and my arms gave out. I fell back on the chair, moaning and giggling., completely overwhelmed and also increasingly dizzy.
Nino’s head appeared above me. “I think that’s it for now.”
“What about you?”
“Tomorrow,” he murmured and picked me up gently. I nodded groggily against his chest, then my vision turned black.
CHAPTER 18
KIARA
I had the headache of my life. Every time light met my eyes a sharp pain slashed through my brain. Holding my temple, I stumbled out of the bedroom. Nino was already gone, I guessed for his morning swim because it was already ten.
When I stepped into the kitchen, Serafina was hunched over the table, looking like a zombie. She barely glanced up and gave me a weak smile.
I tried to return the gesture but only managed a grimace. Remo’s mouth pulled into his twisted grin. Nevio and Greta were busy picking at the food cubes on the plates in front of them.
I trudged toward the coffee-maker and poured myself a long black. For once no milk or sugar. Making my way over to the table, I clung to my cup as if it was my lifeline. I’d never felt like this and I definitely would never drink as much again. It had felt good to let loose yesterday, but the morning after ...
Nevio let out a happy screech when I sat down and I whimpered at the twinge the sound caused in my brain.
“Shhh,” Serafina murmured, half pleading.
Remo chuckled. “You two look like death warmed over.”
Neither of us reacted.
“I hope you don’t expect me to make breakfast. I can’t cook and I have no intention of learning it.”
I glanced up. “Maybe you should.”
“No, that’s the perk of being Capo,” he said then smiled dangerously. “Serafina mentioned she finally told you about us listening in.”
“Remo,” Serafina hissed, then groaned and touched her head. “I told you not to mention it. I shouldn’t have.”
My cheeks heated and I grimaced. “Don’t talk about it.”
Remo leaned forward. “Next time I’ll give you a signal so you know what’s going on.”
I raised a warning finger. “Don’t you dare. Keep your nose out of my bedroom.”
Remo would have said something else to embarrass me further. Luckily Savio, Nino, and Adamo were drawn into the kitchen by the scent of coffee and they all settled around the table.
Nino regarded me closely “How do you feel?”
“Horrible.”
Nino watched me a moment longer. “Cause and effect.”
“I really love you but that’s making me want to hit you with a spoon.”
Surprise flashed in Nino’s eyes.
“Keep your kinky dominatrix shit in your bedroom, all right?” Savio said a bit too loudly.
“Can you tone it down?” Serafina muttered.
Savio grinned. “What? Don’t tell me you’ve got a headache?” This time he spoke even louder.
“Don’t we get any breakfast?” Adamo asked after a moment.
“Our resident cook is nursing a hangover,” Remo said.
“I’ll make omelet,” Nino said and got up. I sent him a grateful smile. Remo was trying to feed Greta pureed carrots while Nevio fed himself. He hated it when someone tried to feed him with a spoon, so eventually we’d just given up and put a selection of cubed veggies, meat and fruit down in front of him so he could choose what to eat.
Sipping at my coffee, I watched Remo with Nevio and Greta, how patient he was even when Nevio acted like a little monster. Remo noticed my gaze and raised his eyebrows, and I just smiled. He didn’t like it when people saw his softer side.
A few minutes later Nino came over with a huge pan filled with scrambled eggs.
“I thought we’d get omelet,” said Savio.
“If you’re not satisfied with the provided food, you’re free to cook for yourself,” Nino drawled.
Savio held out his plate. “I see we’re all in a bad mood this morning.”
I stifled a laugh, then winced. Despite my protest, Nino put some eggs on my plate as well. “You need to eat.”
I sighed, then picked up the spoon and pushed a bite into my mouth. Everything tasted stale this morning.
After returning the empty pan to the stove, Nino set down Tylenol and a big glass of apple juice in front of me. “This might help.”
He sank down beside me.
Nino squeezed my thigh gently and I forced the pain killers and a large gulp of juice down my throat.
“When did you come home last night?” Nino asked Adamo.
Dark shadows spread under his eyes and he smelled faintly of smoke and beer. “Around four.”
“Tomorrow’s school. I don’t want you out all night again.”
“It’s almost the end of the school year. Holidays will start soon. It’s not like anything exciting is happening,” Adamo mumbled, clinging to his coffee cup. “Savio’s partying all the time.”
“Savio’s not in school, and never gets shit-faced,” Remo said sharply. Greta peered up at him, her mouth smeared with puree, ignoring the spoon Seraina now held out to her.
“Savio’s also of age,” Savio said, rolling his eyes. “Man, you look like shit, even worse than our two beauties over there.”
“I just had some fun,” Adamo said defensively.
Nino frowned. “You can have fun, but you need to know your limits and not constantly cross them.”
Serafina and I exchanged a look. We hadn’t set the best example last night but it was only the second time we’d gotten drunk.
“All right,” Adamo grumbled, raising my suspicions. Usually he was more confrontational with these matters.
Remo narrowed his eyes. Greta leaned forward and made grabby hands for one of Nevio’s avocado pieces. Nevio picked it up and held it up so Greta could grab it. The piece was smashed between their hands but Greta brought the green mash to her face and stuffed her fingers into her mouth.
“I can’t stand the cuteness,” I whispered.
Savio’s lips curled. “I guess table manners don’t matter anymore.”
Serafina rolled her eyes then kissed Greta’s head. “You’d rather eat what Nevio has?”
Greta didn’t reply and when Remo held out a piece of steamed carrot to her, she took it and shoved it into her mouth, then grinned. By the end of breakfast, both Nevio and Greta had food all over their faces and hair, but looked sated and happy.
After that Nino and Remo left for a meeting with Stefano who was in town while Serafina and I tried to clean the mess the kids had caused while they played on their blanket on the floor.
I leaned against the counter and watched the two, how they interacted, peacefully sharing their toys, how Nevio quieted when it was only him and Greta.
The constant longing became more prominent and I squashed it. Some things took time.
It was mid-June when I was on my way to take a swim. I’d come to love getting in a workout in the pool early in the morning like Nino and it helped me relax. Spotting Adamo leaning against the wall all by himself, I went over to him.
Adamo’s eyes were almost feverish as I settled beside him. I guessed he’d only just returned from wherever he’d spent the night. He’d been even more withdrawn since the wedding. Maybe seeing Samuel had done something to him after all. He took another drag from his cigarette before he gl
anced at me. It took his gaze several seconds to fully focus on me; he had taken something. The look in his eyes could only be from drugs and I didn’t think it was only weed. “Adamo?”
“Yeah?” he croaked.
“What’s wrong? You can tell me, you know you can trust me.”
He nodded toward the burn scars on his forearm. It was the first I’d seen him with short sleeves in a while and my stomach tightened when I saw the many small cigarette burns that hadn’t been there before.
“I can’t forget it. I dream about it every single night. About the helplessness, the agony, and worst the unrestrained hatred in their eyes. They wanted to destroy me in the most brutal way possible only because I was a Falcone.”
My throat became dry. This was probably the first time he admitted it aloud. “Because they knew it would break Remo.”
Adamo nodded. “Sometimes I catch myself staring into Fina’s eyes just to summon the memories of that day. They are like Samuel’s and close enough to Dante’s.”
Oh God. What was I supposed to say to that? Adamo avoided Serafina but for this reason I hadn’t expected. “Why do you try to remember?”
“Because I can’t forget! It gives me a sense of control when I choose the moment the memories arise.”
“I understand,” I whispered.
He tossed away the cigarette. “I thought I was different. I tried to tell myself that I was, but I’m not.”
“What do you mean?”
“I want revenge. I want to make them bleed, even if I know it’s not going to change a thing, only lead to more violence, to more misery.” He ran a shaking hand through his hair.
“What did you take?”
“What?”
“You are high,” I said quietly.
I could see his defenses coming up. Adamo had learned to keep secrets, and I worried how many he hid behind his mask.
Adamo stood. “Nobody in the Camorra would sell me drugs, Kiara. How could I be high?”
“I saw you buy something from those guys at the club.”
He shook his head. “That was a one-time thing. When they found out who I was, they refused to sell me anything.”
That was likely the truth, but he was lying now anyway. He had taken something.
“Adamo, your brothers love you.” I rose and touched his arm. “Don’t let what happened break you. Don’t let it change you. You are the kindest man I know.”
“I’m not kind!” He grasped my upper arms in a tight grip, his eyes flashing with despair even as they went out of focus. If he didn’t get drugs from the Camorra, the only other options were the Bratva, the Cartel or a local MC, and that was utter insanity. Las Vegas was firmly in Camorra hands.
It meant he had to get his supplies when he was allowed to race in other states.
“I’m not kind,” he repeated, his fingers tightening further.
“You’re hurting me.”
Adamo’s gaze darted to his hands and he jerked away from me, shaking his head over and over again. “I’m sorry. I’m messing everything up.” He backed away slowly, a look of plain guilt on his face and then he turned, ran away and disappeared around the corner of the house.
I’d sworn to Adamo that our conversations would stay confidential. It was why he’d opened up to me at all. Could I keep this from his brothers and everyone else? Should I?
I closed my eyes. I’d wait a few days before I made a decision.
The next day I was on my way to my swim but froze in the threshold to the communal space, surprised to find Nino in the gaming room with the twins. I thought he was already swimming his laps. Maybe Serafina had asked him to watch the twins while she got ready. I paused in the doorway. He sat on the sofa with Nevio beside him. Greta stumbled closer, her dark eyes fixing on the book in Nino’s lap. She held on to his knee, still not as steady on her legs as her twin. Nevio had already lost interest in the pages and was palming Nino’s tattoos again, babbling in obvious delight.
Nino watched Greta closely. She tried to catch a glimpse at the book but was too small until Nino lifted the book in her direction which in turn made Nevio unhappy, resulting in a warning cry that could very well lead to a full-blown screaming session.
“If I pick you up, you and Nevio can both see the book,” Nino explained calmly. Greta peered at him with those huge eyes, melting my heart with her adorableness.
Nino lowered his arms, moving slowly to give her time before he slid one hand under her nappy-clad bum while the other steadied her back. He lifted her off the floor, eyes focused on her face as if he worried she’d start bawling any moment. For a long time Remo had been the only one she accepted. Now that Savio had been allowed to hold her, it seemed that she’d grown to trust the men in this family. She remained quiet and her expression made it clear that she wasn’t too enthused about the situation yet. Nino cradled her in his arm and pointed at the book. Of course, Nevio immediately climbed on top of him as well, and as I watched eventually both Greta and Nevio settled on Nino’s lap while he quietly explained the images to them. My heart felt so full, I wasn’t sure how it didn’t burst, and soon traitorous tears gathered in my eyes.
Serafina appeared beside me and hugged me. “You’ll have this soon too. You and Nino deserve to be parents.”
I nodded and didn’t dare to say anything from fear of bawling. Maybe it was time to stop pretending everything would be fine and make a doctor’s appointment. For some reason I was scared of finding out what was wrong, if something was wrong. The idea that it had something to do with my past terrified me.
I came out of the bathroom, ready for bed where Nino was already waiting for me.
“Kiara.”
Nino’s voice was off and made me turn around to him. He sat up slowly in bed, his eyes flickering with something fierce and harsh, something terrifying. I followed his keen eyes to my upper arms and felt the color drain from my face.
Adamo must have gripped me even harder than I thought, considering the bluish fingerprints blooming on my skin.
Nino got out of bed, his body tense and predatory as he stalked toward me. He traced my bruises with his fingertips, making me wonder how his touch could be this gentle when there was murder in his eyes. “Who did this?”
“Nino,” I began, unsure what to tell him, how to tell him anything without breaking Adamo’s trust, and wondering if maybe there was no other way to save the youngest Falcone brother.
“Who hurt you?” Nino rasped, and the fury in his eyes, albeit not directed at me, sent a stab of fear through me.
“It’s nothing.” I smiled, even as my face felt stiff with the forced emotion. I reached for my bathrobe, desperate to cover up the bruises and banish the brutality from Nino’s expression but he wouldn’t have it. He curled his fingers around my hand, stopping me.
“Who hurt you?”
His eyes beckoned me to reveal the truth, but to what outcome?
“He didn’t mean to hurt me. It was an accident ...”
I swallowed because Nino’s mouth pulled into a scary smile. “An accident?” He cupped my face, kissing my mouth sweetly, lovingly. “Who did it? Don’t you trust me?”
I trusted Nino with my life, knowing I was safe with him, but with the same certainty I knew no one else was. “He didn’t mean it. He’s hurting.”
“Adamo,” Nino breathed, closing his eyes, and the gentleness slipped off his face. He released my cheeks and stormed out of the room.
“Nino!” I stumbled after him but he was running too fast. “Nino, don’t!”
Adamo wasn’t in his room, which was even messier than in the past. Without stopping, Nino whirled around and stormed downstairs. I managed to catch up to him when he halted for a moment in the doorway to the gaming room. Savio was on the couch, and so was Adamo for once, a fight running on the big screen.
Remo looked over from where he was pummeling the boxing sack. “What the fuck—"
He didn’t get further. Nino advanced toward Adamo who was stretched
out on the sofa, gripped him by the throat and thrust him to the floor.
“Nino, don’t! Please!” I rushed toward him, trying to stop him. Nino was kneeling over Adamo, fingers digging into his throat, a look of stark brutality on his face. The muscles in his naked back flexed, making the phoenix and the flames come alive.
“You hurt Kiara?” Nino grated at Adamo.
Remo saw my bruises. He asked harshly, “Nino?”
Adamo’s head turned red under Nino’s choking hold. He made no move to defend himself, only stared up at his brother with eyes full of misery, looking almost desperate for Nino to end what he’d begun. Maybe Remo saw it, too, because for an instant his expression flickered with a look he only ever showed when their mother was mentioned.
Then he grabbed Nino’s shoulder and pulled. “Nino, stop the shit.”
Nino didn’t unfasten his hold until Savio grabbed his second arm and both he and Remo tore at him. Nino released Adamo and let Remo drag him to his feet while Savio checked his younger brother.
“You okay?”
Adamo didn’t react. He stayed on the floor, massaging his throat. His eyes came to rest on me, taking in my upper arms, and once more his expression twisted with guilt.
“I’m sorry, Kiara.”
“I know,” I said softly. I made my way over to Nino whose shoulder Remo was still gripping hard, and touched his chest. After several moments, Nino tore his gaze away from Adamo and faced me, and as always the anger disappeared in favor of something gentle. “I’m okay, all right? Adamo didn’t mean to hurt me.”
“What happened?” Remo asked his brother and me.
Adamo sat up slowly and keeping a close eye on Nino, he dared to stand. “It was an accident.”
Nino took a step in his direction. “That’s an excuse someone who hasn’t fought most of his life could use, someone who wasn’t familiar with violence and pain. But you, like me, don’t cause pain by accident, Adamo.”
“Not everyone is as good at giving pain as you, at controlling how you dish it out,” Adamo muttered.
“I want to know what happened,” Remo snapped, forcing me to meet his harsh gaze.