"That's either the smartest thing you've said today, or the dumbest. I'll decide on my way home," Stuart said.
Carrington couldn't help but smile to himself. He'd always been close with Stuart, never realizing how much he valued that until this very moment. Stuart understood him as his father did. They had the same sense of humor. They ribbed him the same way. It's no wonder they were best friends, and why his father had chosen Stuart to be his godfather.
Now that his father was gone, the steadying presence of Stuart gave him more comfort than his pain let him realize.
AFTER STUART LEFT, Carrington sat in his father's chair in his office in the law firm he founded fifty-four years ago. He missed his ole man. Their talks about business. Their long walks in Central Park. Playing chess. Conversations about books they read. The polarizing politics of the day. Stuart was right about one thing – the world could be a lonely place.
He'd given some thought to settling down with Catherine, his last lover. She was beautiful, smart, sophisticated, and they were highly compatible sexually. But he knew she wanted children. Even though she'd said that she could give up that dream, he knew that wasn't something a person could – or should – give up. It would always be between them and one day she'd resent him for it. He knew it. So he'd broken things off, even though he enjoyed her company – particularly in the bedroom – immensely. She was a hard one to let go and he knew it would be a while before he found another who satisfied him on so many levels.
Carrington readjusted his manhood. Just thinking about her made him aware of how much he liked having a woman in his bed. But he didn't want just any woman. He could easily pay for that kind of companionship, but that had never been an option he exercised.
He wanted someone he liked out of the bedroom just as he did in the bedroom. Someone he could eat hot dogs with as they walked the streets of New York and accompany him to a charity ball at The Met – and be equally at ease. Those kinds of women were rare. He knew, he'd done his share of looking. He sighed in frustration.
"YOU'RE A SELFISH BASTARD Carrington," Catherine leveled at him. "What you want are the trappings of a relationship without the responsibility of one. You don't want to get married and you don't want more children. But you want me at your disposal when you fly into town, and for me to magically disappear and not expect even so much as a regular phone call when you're away. Why don't you just hire an escort or pay some street whore? At least those are arrangements a woman can understand. But this ... the way you act, no woman with an ounce of self-respect is going to stand for it!" she said, slamming the door on the way out of his luxury hotel suite.
CARRINGTON CRINGED at their last encounter. Catherine had been right, he begrudgingly admitted. He did want a woman who was both marriage and motherhood material, but he didn't want to be the one to put a ring on her finger or a baby in her belly.
Maybe Catherine was right. Maybe he was a selfish bastard. Next time, he'd be sure to be very clear about his wants – and demand that she does the same.
Whomever ‘she’ was.
Chapter 3
THE GRANDFATHER CLOCK in the corner of the living room ticked to 7:51. Bria wished with all her might that she could turn back the hands of time to one hour and forty-eight minutes ago. At exactly 6:03 p.m. That's when this whole nightmare had started.
"Why now? Why tell me now Gunner?" Bria asked hoarsely, as the ticking of the clocked matched the beating of her heart.
"Because the guilt was killing me. Because you had a right to know. Because I knew it wasn't something I could keep from you forever. But most of all because I love you and I don't want to lose you," Gunner said. "I can't lose you, Bria. I love you. You're everything to me."
"You love me? I'm everything to you?" Bria laughed humorlessly, her throat sore from the guttural screams and ocean of tears she'd shed.
Gunner had held her through the whole nightmare over the last hour, never saying a word. As warm tears slipped down her cheeks and he stroked her hair, Bria realized that it was probably the last time she'd ever be in his arms. The tears had flowed faster at that realization, and were threatening to overtake her again.
Bria’s breath caught in her chest as she tried to control herself so she could speak. "Let me get this straight. You‘re telling me that you‘ve been cheating on me; that you have a one-month old baby with some slut you met god knows where, and you want me," she said, putting her index finger to her chest, "to somehow find it in my heart to work things out with you? Have you lost your ever-loving mind?!" she exploded.
"I know it's bad Bria. But ... but ... ah hell, I'm not trying to justify anything. It's just, since the first day we met, all you ever talked about was getting your law degree and being partner at some big firm. You made that your priority; not our marriage. Us; our relationship – it took a back seat somewhere along the way. You know it did," Gunner pleaded, trying to make her understand things from his point of view.
Bria shook her head violently. "So this is my fault? The fact that you couldn't keep your dick in your pants is somehow my fault?!" Bria raged, shaking her head back and forth, rejecting everything he said.
"I'm not saying—"
Bria interjected. "The fact that I wanted a better future, not just for me, but for us ... this is the penalty I have to pay Gunner? Is that what you want me to believe? How could you do this to me? To us? I ... Oh god how could you," she whispered brokenly, out of words and patience for trying to make sense of the situation.
"What did you expect from me? You were never here!" Gunner erupted, desperate to make her understand. "You were on your path and nothing or no one was going to stop you. Not me. Not our marriage. Not our dreams. Nothing! Even when my company almost went under, it barely registered with you Bria," he continued. "You were like the energizer bunny. You just kept going and going and going."
"Because I had to god dammit! Who helped you get it back on track? Who worried with you? And speaking of, you never had to worry. Not really," she said, pointing her finger at him. "You know you didn't because I've always been there. I've always had your fucking back! Who wrote check after check after check. The mortgage. Your business insurance. Your truck payment. Hell, I even covered payroll for you! If that's not being there then I don't know what the hell is! Was I supposed hold your hand and be your shrink, your banker, and your whore, all rolled into one?! I have a career too and that career paid the bills for both of us when one of us – you! – couldn't!"
Gunner threw his hands up in exasperation. "It's always about money with you isn't it? I needed my wife; not her fucking checkbook, and if I needed you to hold my hand, what's so wrong with that? Or does it make me less of a man in your eyes?"
"So instead of telling me that, you went out and found some slut to lay up with, make a baby with, and destroy our lives with? Does that make you feel like more of a man Gunner? You should have come to me but no, you went out time and time and time again, fucking some skank because your feelings were hurt! You're a piece of work, you know that. A real piece of work. I don't care how you try to spin this Gunner Michaels. It was you who broke us. You! Your actions and yours alone! So don't you dare lay this on me. Be a man," Bria spit out sarcastically, "and own your shit!"
"She's not a skank or a slut," Gunner said simply. "She's the mother of my child. I know that's your pain talking, but you don't need to go there Bria. You're better than that."
"You fuck around and make a baby on me and I'm the one who has to take the high road?" Bria said, wiping the stream of tears that came back with a vengeance. "Fuck you! Do you hear me. Fuck you Gunner Michaels! And if I say she's a fucking slut, she's a fucking slut! If I call her a skank, then she's a fucking skank! And the spawn you all created is a bastard! Fuck you. Fuck her. And fuck your kid! How ‘bout that you nasty, lying, two-timing sack of shit!"
"Stop it Bria!" Gunner thundered, balling and unballing his fists. He'd never hit a woman in his life. It had never even occurred to him – until this moment
.
Bria noticed his hands. "What? You want to hit me Gunner? Not only did you cheat on me, but now you want to beat me too? Go ahead, hit me," she said, shoving him. "Hit me!" she said, shoving him hard in the chest with both of her hands. "You might as well complete the trifecta. You lied. You cheated. So why not be the low-down dirty dog you are and hit me! Hit me!" she screamed, pushing him yet again. "You got your bitch and your bastard spawn to run off to! Hit me!" Bria screamed, slapping and punching him. She wanted – needed – for him to be in as much pain as she was in.
Gunner backed away and held his hands up to fend off her blows. He leaned into a corner of their living room wall to let her exhaust her fury.
"You didn't have to do this to me. You didn't," Bria declared, huffing as she backed away from him and pushed flying tendrils of hair out of her eyes.
Her hoarse cries drained Gunner of every emotion except desolation. "You have a right to be angry. I know I messed up. I know I hurt you, but my daughter is an innocent in this. Please don't take your anger out on an innocent child Bria."
"Fuck you and your god-damned spawn of a daughter!" Bria hissed, the word ‘daughter' grating on her nerves like nails on a chalkboard. Her husband had a daughter; a child that should have come from her. "You think I want to hear about your brat?! I don't give a damn if she's the fucking Virgin Mary! I won't be a stepmother to a child that you got by sneaking around with a whore!"
"Bria-"
"How much of a whore does a woman have to be to sneak around with a married man? And she's raising your daughter, so guess what – she's going to grow up to be a whore just like her bitch of a mama!"
"That's enough Bria," Gunner warned.
"Oh it's not enough by a long shot," Bria said, her fury regaining strength like a hurricane over warm water. "And don't you think for one god damn second that I'm going to pay you alimony, child support or anything else. You fucked your way out of this marriage, so you can go to the bitch and her spawn with exactly what you have!" Bria huffed, the very thought of her hard-earned money going to support his new family – a family they should have been starting – made her blood boil.
"Stop it Bria!" Gunner warned. "Keep my daughter out of this," he said, his nostrils flaring.
Bria felt a distinct sense of satisfaction in her stomach. She tasted blood and she wanted more. She wanted him to keel over in pain like she felt she was going to do at any moment.
"Oh so it can get angry," Bria sneered. "Too bad you couldn't muster up enough anger at your sorry ass self to keep your dick in your pants and not plant your seed in a woman who's not your wife! Now you come in here, thinking you're gonna explain shit away all easy and sweet talk me into working things out. You must really think I'm some kind of newfangled fool. Did you really think I was gonna welcome the child with open arms? Be one big, happy family? Forgive you and play step-mommy and move on like nothing happened? Well you got the wrong one mister. There is nothing you can say to fix this. Nothing! The only thing I want from you Gunner Michaels is a divorce! And the sooner, the better."
Gunner flinched as if he'd been hit.
Bria saw the look, realizing she'd hit paydirt with the ‘D' word, which is just what she wanted.
"I know you're hurt right now Bria, but you can’t mean that. I love you and I know you love me. Let's let things calm down before making any final decisions. We owe each other that," Gunner said,.
He had known in his mind divorce was a possibility, but he never thought it would actually come to pass. He'd loved Bria for almost twenty years, over half his life and hers. He couldn't imagine life without her; without her as his wife.
"I don't owe you a god damn thing Gunner Michaels. Nothing. When you laid down with another woman, you forfeited any loyalty I had to you. I'm done. I don't want to talk about this anymore. And the sound of your voice is making me sick. The sight of you is making me sick. I don't even want to breathe the same air as you. Get out!" Bria demanded, all of her emotions spent. She felt like a rung out dishrag, her anger ebbing away, leaving an open, raw wound. It was almost too much to bear.
"Bria please, just list-"
"Get out!" Bria screamed, cutting him off. "Get out! Get out now!"
Gunner stared at her for a few seconds before he turned on his heel. She heard his keys jingle when he grabbed them off the hall table and the door of their condo shut behind him.
Bria sank to the floor. She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Today was supposed to be one of the most momentous days of her life. She'd finally made partner. Seven long years of mind-bending work had come to fruition. Right now, she was supposed to be celebrating with the one person who'd bought into her dream from day one. The one who'd told her she could do it and had been right there through college, through law school, through being recruited by one of the most prestigious firms in New York. Through the long hours and self doubt, wondering if she could make it in the mostly male, mostly white world of corporate law.
Right about now, she should be laughing at how god-awful the food tasted because of how bad Gunner's cooking was. It was him. It was them. They should have been celebrating their love. Their sacrifice. Their achieving a life milestone that they'd talked about since the day they met. They were financially secure. They, nor their future children, would never have to struggle. They had put poverty behind them – the first in their families to do so. And now, it was finally time to start on those future children. That was the next box on the list to check. But now that was all part of her previous life. How can you go from present to previous so fast, she wondered, as the salt of her tears began to make her cheeks itch.
Bria ran down the list of things that came after the ‘starting a family' box that was supposed to be checked.
Buying a house in the suburbs.
Starting college funds.
Buying a vacation home for retirement.
Babysitting grandchildren.
Now the list was meaningless because everything on it depended on the one box she wouldn't be able to check: having a child. It wouldn't happen with Gunner. And it may never happen for her because she could never imagine checking that particular box with anyone else.
All those years of planning. All those boxes now unchecked. Now where was she? Who was she?
Bria thought of the future – a future she had no idea how to navigate because it didn't include the one person she'd always imagined being there. She couldn't imagine life without Gunner. And, she couldn't imagine overcoming this kind of betrayal either.
Bria dropped her head on her knees and sobbed.
What was she going to do?
Chapter 4
"ARE YOU TELLING ME he had a whole second family Bria?"
Bria shook her head. "I still don't know how I didn't know; how I could have missed that he was seeing someone else for that long? How could I have missed that Maya? How?"
Maya, Bria's best friend, shook her head.
"And I know it's sick, but part of me wants to find out who she is; see what she's all about. Is she younger and prettier than me? Is she fat or skinny? What kind of job does she have? Is she smart or stupid?"
"Well I can answer that last one for you," Maya said. "She's stupid. Any woman who fools around with a married man is stupid as hell."
"But maybe she didn't know he was married," Bria countered. "You know how slick men can be when they cheat."
"And every damn time we know when they're trying to be slick. A woman knows when her man is seeing someone else. ... I'm sorry Bria, I didn't mean that like it sounded."
"I know, but I swear I didn't know Maya. Gunner was home every night. I would have known if he was pulling an obvious stunt like that? But there was none of that."
"Which gives even more validity to the point I was making about how a woman knows when she's dating a married man – cuz his priority is his wife. A side piece knows when she's a side piece, and any woman willing to be a side piece is, like I said, stupid as hell."
Bria couldn't help but laugh at that, but her next thought ripped any joy out of it.
"She may have been the side piece, but she's not any longer. ... She gave him something I didn't; a child. He's been wanting to start a family for a few years now, but I wanted to wait until I made partner. I know it sounds silly because more work comes with being a partner, but it was something I've always wanted my whole life Maya. I was afraid that if I had a child before that, I might never get there. And, it gave us financial freedom – for all that's worth now."
"You don't have to justify wanting to achieve your dreams to me or anyone else Bria. And don't let this spoil your achievement. You worked damn hard to make partner."
"But at what cost Maya? My husband is gone."
"Only because you don't want to be with him. Gunner would come back in a second. All you have to do is flick your little finger."
"Do you think I should?"
"Only you can answer that."
"What would you do?" Bria asked.
"Uh oh, no way no how are you tricking me into answering that."
"You're my best friend Maya. I'm not asking you to tell me what to do. I'm just asking you what you would do. Please," Bria begged.
"Damn you and those puffy, puppy dog eyes," Maya said. "But remember, this is me – not you. I have big issues with trust, as you well know. So I don't know if I could ever trust a man who did that to me. I mean, he carried on the affair for almost a year before telling you about it. I get hives just thinking about a man cheating on me once. One who carries on an affair for almost a year – and produces a child. I know I could never get past that. I'd never trust him again. Ever. And without trust ..." she let the sentiment hang in the air.
"Thanks Maya," Bria said sadly.
Maya felt pinpricks in her heart at the look on her friend's face. "With that being said, you and Gunner are not the typical couple. You all have been together forever and there's one thing I know for sure – that man loves you. He fucked up; he fucked up royally. But he loves you, and you love him. Maybe your marriage can be salvaged. Maybe you should take him up on his offer to get some counseling."
Love after Betrayal: An Interracial, Billionaire Romance Page 2