"Anyway, after that, I felt trapped. The only thing I was sure about was that I was going to be there for my child. Everything else was just a big train wreck waiting to happen. Still is."
"Did you ... do you love her Gunner?"
"No," Gunner said. "I never led Marla on. I never told her I loved her. I never told her I was going to leave my wife. She knew about you from day one."
"Speaking of day one, how did you all meet?"
"At the annual Builder's Convention in Vegas. She's a marketing manager for a construction firm here in the city."
"I see. What happens in Vegas shoulda stayed in Vegas," Bria said softly.
"Nothing happened in Vegas Bria. We met. We talked. But most of my talking was about you. Our marriage. She was easy to talk to and since I thought I'd never see her again, I guess I spilled my guts. I remember getting the best sleep that night."
"I bet," Bria said.
"I told you, nothing happened in Vegas. I got a lot of shit off my chest that night. She even gave me advice about how to get our marriage back on track. I felt ... hopeful, for the first time in a long time. Then I came home and you were all into your case. And everything just went back to being the same."
"When did you start sleeping with her?"
Gunner sighed and looked at her. "A couple of weeks after I got back from Vegas. I ran into her at one of the networking events at the Chamber of Commerce."
"And you just couldn't help yourself," Bria added, her anger mounting again.
"Look, for the one millionth time, I know I fucked up. I can't go back in time Bria. You asked for the details, so I'm giving 'em to you. I'm sorry if they hurt, but hell, I was hurting too!"
"Then you should have come to me. I was your wife," Bria emphasized.
"What do you want me to say Bria? What? I already lost you. I will never forgive myself for that. I've already paid the ultimate penalty and I don't want to relive every fucking mistake I made for the rest of my life. So please, can you find it somewhere in you to give me a break?"
"You know that sense of frustration you're feeling? That sense of helplessness, of wondering where things went wrong and how you can fix them? Well that's exactly how I felt Gunner," Bria said, without giving him a chance to answer her questions. "The rational part of me knew your affair wasn't my fault. But the other part – the part that had held onto the dream of our marriage for so long – I tortured myself. So no, you get no breaks from me Gunner Michaels. You get no breaks from me at all," Bria said, biting her trembling bottom lip to keep her feelings on the right side of rage.
"Maybe meeting up was a mistake," Gunner said. "I thought—"
Bria snorted air through her nose, willing her heart to stop racing as she cut him off. "It wasn't a mistake," she said matter-of-factly. "I needed this. I needed to know all the gritty details so I can reclaim my sanity."
Gunner reared his head back and looked up to the ceiling of his truck. One long breath later, he said, "I get it," he said wearily. "What else do you want to know?"
"Nothing. But there's something I need you to know," Bria said, taking a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."
Chapter 35
"HOW DID IT GO WITH Gunner last night?" Maya asked. "I was on pins and needles all evening."
"Which is why you wanted to meet up today?" Bria said. "To get all the juicy details."
"Yes," Maya said, unabashedly. "Seriously Bria, I was worried – am worried – about you. You're in the early stages of pregnancy and dealing with some heavy shit. I hate that I’m leaving for San Fran tomorrow. I wanted to at least check in with you to make sure you're ok."
"It's sweet of you to worry. But I'll be okay. If there's one thing I learned from my parent's relationship, it's how to be okay in the midst of a shit-fest of a relationship."
Maya laughed. "I forget how funny you can be sometimes. Hold onto that. Now, tell me what happened with Gunner."
After Bria gave Maya a blow-by-blow of what happened with her ex, she asked, "So how did y'all leave it."
"Well, he was kinda shocked when I told him I was pregnant?"
"You told him," Maya said incredulously. "Why the hell would you tell your ex-husband about your pregnancy before telling the father?"
"Because my ex-husband has always been there for me, unlike said father-to-be," Bria quipped. "No matter what he's done, Gunner's there if I need him and I need him right now. He couldn't have been more supportive."
"To be honest, I'm not surprised. I hate what he did to you, but one thing I could never deny about Gunner is that if family called, he was always there. As your best friend, I've been on the receiving end of his kindness too many times to count. Remember when my neighbor's pipe burst above me and all that nasty brown water flowed into my apartment at 1 o'clock in the morning? Gunner was the first one I called. It didn't even occur to me to call anyone else. And he came. No muss. No fuss. In the middle of the night. Stayed until morning to fix the problem like it was no big deal. And all he wanted for his trouble was a grilled cheese-and-ham sandwich," Maya said, smiling as she remembered that awful night.
"That's Gunner," Bria smiled. "He's at his best when he's helping people. So does that mean you're not mad at him anymore Maya?"
"Yeah, I guess so, especially since you were the offended party and you've forgiven him. Holding onto grudges makes you old. Ain't nobody got time for that!" Maya laughed.
"Well thank God!" Bria said. "But there's one thing I didn't tell him Maya that I feel kinda guilty about."
"What? That you don't love him, that you're in love with someone else and that there's no chance of a relationship other than friendship?"
"Yeah, how did you know?"
"Because you couldn't hurt Gunner's feelings to save your life. And besides, I'm willing to bet he knows Bria. It's hard for you to hide something like that. I'm sure he saw it in your eyes when you told him you were pregnant."
"You think so Maya?" Bria said, tearing up. "I really didn't want to hurt him. I don't think I could ever say those words out loud to him."
"I know sweetie. And that's why the universe spares us from some things. Gunner knows you better than anyone. Trust me, he knows, and hopefully, he understands. Even though I thought it was a bad idea for y'all to meet, I'm glad you did. You've been holding onto your anger for so long that you hadn't given other feelings any room to bubble to the surface. I see the change in you since you started seeing Carrington. I thought you and Gunner would be together forever, but you definitely look different when you talk about him than you ever did talking about Gunner."
"I never wanted it to be that way. It's like a death. I wish Gunner could have been the one Maya. He was so good to me."
"You can have him back," Maya said gently.
"No I couldn't. I'd never do that to him. He deserves someone who loves him completely. Nothing less."
"Like you love Carrington?" Maya asked.
"Yes. Once your heart has felt that kind of love, it's impossible to settle for anything else. At least it is for me. ... You know, it's funny – Marla is crazy about Gunner, but he doesn't love her. I'm crazy about Carrington, but he's not into me. It's like the world is playing some kind of cruel joke on us. Maybe we should have just stayed together," Bria laughed sadly.
"Hey maybe y'all could form some kind of new modern family. Exes who live together and raise their children together, and be friends with bennies," Maya joked.
"You were onto something until that last part. I could never sleep with Gunner again. The only man I can imagine touching me is – well, you know," Bria said, not even daring to breath Carrington's name. Just the thought of him increased her blood pressure ... for so many reasons.
"So you've settle things emotionally with your ex-husband. Where does that leave you and the father of your baby? What are you going to do about Carrington, Bria?"
"I'll know after our brunch today," Bria said, looking at her watch.
Chapter 36
BRIA HUGGED THE LI
FE percolating in her midsection as she waited for the man who'd put it there to arrive. She'd intentionally arrived half an hour early so she could compose herself. It was one thing to be in your apartment and have the heebie jeebies. It was another altogether to be in public and do so. She wanted to shake them before he arrived.
As she waited at the upscale, but low-key restaurant on Manhattan's Upper West Side, she couldn't help but think how much she wanted this child. And not just because she wanted a family; but because it was a part of the man she'd fallen fiercely in love with. Their love would never have a chance to blossom. But, this life she carried would, outlasting both of them, the creator willing. While the thought brought her some joy as she contemplated the future, she couldn't help but feel sadness too.
Carrington had made it clear that having another child was not part of his plan. She debated for the one-thousandth time if she should tell him. Her analytical mind took over. He was going to find out eventually anyway. Delaying the inevitable would not help the situation. And he had a right to know, even if he might not want to have anything to do with the child. But she wouldn't take the right to know from him. It wouldn't be fair to him or their child.
As she absently stirred a bit of honey in her Earl Grey tea, her thoughts turned to Gunner. He still loved her. He'd always wanted a family — a family with her. If there's one thing she never doubted about him is that he'd be a good father. He'd proven that by not abandoning his child, even though it cost him their marriage.
Now she understood better why her mother stayed with her philandering father all those years. Every parent wants an intact family for their children. She wanted this more than anything for her child, even though she knew it wasn't to be."Oh little one, I promise to always be there for you," she whispered as she rubbed her midsection.
BRIA'S BREATH CAUGHT in her throat at the sight of the tall, dark-haired man coming towards her. His eyes were seeking. His smile was electric. His being all rugged male. Carrington Shelby may live and work in cosmopolitan, skyscraper-filled cities, but there was a raw maleness to him that signaled earthiness; wild, free, untamed. The juxtaposition was intoxicating.
Bria's breathing skipped a few beats, resumed and skipped again. She was infinitely glad she'd arrived early and that she'd opted for the calming effects of her tea as she waited for him. She relaxed back into the cushion of the booth, took a deep breath, plastered a smile on her face, and waited.
"You're a sight for sore eyes," Carrington said as he slid into the booth beside her.
"Hold onto that sentiment," Bria smiled nervously.
"IS SOMETHING WRONG with your dish?" Carrington asked, looking intently at Bria as she pushed chunks of grilled chicken around her plate.
"No, not at all," Bria said.
Carrington wiped his mouth and laid his napkin down. "Ok Bria, what is it? We've made the requisite small talk. We've skirted around issues that we obviously don't want to talk about. And, we've ignored the fact that there's obviously something going on with you. So why don't we make this easy and just cut to the chase?"
It was the first time she'd ever seen him anywhere near angry or frustrated. Bria wiped her mouth and slowly folded and re-folded her napkin in her lap.
"I promise you I won't bite; that is, unless you want me to," Carrington said, attempting to lessen her obvious nervousness.
"You might to a bit more than that after you hear what I have to say," she laughed nervously.
"Well how ‘bout you put me to the test and tell me what it is," he pressed.
"God I wish I knew how to say this," Bria started.
"I've found that being direct works best," Carrington direct.
Bria shook her head and took a big breath. "Um....well...." she stammered, his resolute silence making her even more nervous. "I- well I ... you see, the thing is, I'm pregnant."
He remained silent, his glare teeming with a multitude of questions. Yet, the silence drug on.
"I'm pregnant, and it's yours," she said, repeating her declaration in order to break the uncomfortable silence. She could see the tension growing in his eyes. God, she didn't want to see it. His silence began to suffocate her.
"I assume the child is mine, otherwise we wouldn't be having this conversation," he said, finally speaking. "You're not on birth control?"
Was that an accusation? "No," she said, refusing to look directly at him. "I've never used birth control. And I've never gotten pregnant before so it wasn't a concern, especially as we used protection – except that one time."
"Yes. All it takes is one time," he said.
"Fortunately or unfortunately," Bria smiled dryly, "depending on how you look at it."
"What do you want to do?" he asked.
"I'm going to have the baby," Bria said. "I don't expect anything from you. I just thought you had a right to know."
"Thank you for that," he said dryly. "But whether you expect anything from me or not is not really the question. It's a child, not a returnable gift. I take that very seriously."
"I don't want you to feel obligated Carrington. I know it's not a part of your life plan, especially as your only other child is an adult. I got myself into this situation; and it's one I'm prepared to take full responsibility for."
"You didn't get pregnant by yourself," he pointed out, a glint in those green eyes transporting her back to the nights of passion they shared.
"True," Bria grinned. "But I am making the decision to have this child by myself, so—"
"There's only one thing to do," Carrington declared.
"And that is?" Bria said, confused.
"We'll get married."
Chapter 37
"MARRIAGE?" GUNNER SAID, his face a mix of shock and pain. "Wow. You've known the guy for what, like two months."
"Not even," Bria said. "Maybe I shouldn't have said anything. If you're uncomfortable taking about this—"
"It's fine Bria," Gunner interjected.
"I was going to keep this to myself. Twenty-four hours later, and I'm still reeling that he even proposed such a thing. Pun fully intended. I wasn't sure if I should tell you, but with Maya being away, you're the only other person I felt comfortable talking about this with."
"Well there's the silver lining," Gunner said.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, it shows that our relationship has transitioned – is transitioning," he amended. "We're becoming friends. I can't say it doesn't hurt Bria. I'm still in love with you. I still had hopes—"
"I'm sorry Gunner," Bria said, her eyes welling up. A year ago, all she wanted was him to feel the same kind of pain he caused her. How had she held onto such anger for so long? Now, all she wanted was for him to find love and happiness again.
"No need to be sorry. You were mine for twenty years and now, I get you as a friend for the rest of my life. I just have to get over the hump of loving you."
"Oh Gunner," Bria said. "I'm sorry. I'm truly sor—"
"Please don't say that again Bria. You have nothing to be sorry for. And eventually, I won't either. I have to find a way to forgive myself for losing you. Once I do that, I'll be golden baby."
And just like that, Bria remembered one of the reasons she'd fallen for Gunner. He may get down, but he always managed to find the bright side. "You are a treasure Gunner Michaels, and don't you ever forget it."
"And so are you, which is why I'm thinking your baby daddy wants to put a ring on it and lock you down."
Bria laughed out loud so hard, she snorted some of the tea she was drinking through her nose, which only caused both of them to laugh louder.
"Gunner? Bria?" a familiar voice said.
Bria and Gunner turned around in the booth where they were sitting and looked up.
"Marla," Gunner said.
"Good evening Ms. Michaels, or should I say, Mrs. Michaels," a pair of cold, jade-colored eyes glared at her.
"Carrington," Bria breathed breathlessly.
Chapter 38
"OH N
O YOU DON'T. DON't say a word until I get my popcorn, my diet soda and my favorite pillow to prop up on. This is drama on steroids and I don't want to miss a morsel of info," Maya said. "Why didn't you call me in San Francisco and tell me that a pow-wow had happened?"
"Because on top of the proposal, girl, I needed a minute to stop and process things myself. This last week has been right out of the vault of the Twilight Zone," Bria said, her feet propped on Maya's coffee table. "I hope my ankles don't swell. Nobody looks good with swollen ankles."
"Ok, I'm ready. Pregnancy talk aside. What happened? How do Carrington and Marla even know each other? How did all of y'all wind up in the same restaurant. What were you doing there with Gunner?
"Ok, ok, ok, calm down," Bria couldn't help but giggle at Maya's wide-eyed expression.
"Girl dish now. The anticipation is killing me!" Maya said, shoveling a handful of popcorn in her mouth.
One Week Ago
"Carrington," Bria breathed breathlessly.
"Shall I expand the table setting to four?" a server asked.
"Yes," Carrington said succinctly before anyone else could utter a word.
It was just like him to take charge, Bria thought.
Gunner's gaze narrowed and he stood as Marla took a set on the other side of the booth, followed by Carrington.
"You know her?" Marla asked Carrington as she pointed at Bria.
"You know him?" Bria shot back. "And don't talk about me in the third person. I'm sitting right here."
"I'll talk about you any way I please," Marla snapped.
"The hell you will," Bria snapped back.
"Marla, Bria, please. You're both better than this," Gunner said. "And Bria you're pregnant. You don't need to be stressed."
"She's pregnant?!" Marla echoed. She looked like she was going to faint.
Love after Betrayal: An Interracial, Billionaire Romance Page 17