They read all the comics and didn’t worry about dripping milk shake on them or bending the covers. On the way out, they threw away the plastic that had kept the pages safe for years. The comics had ended up in the wrong hands.
Or, they had ended up in the perfect hands.
Felix
Going to a bridal shop was not at the top of Felix’s to-do list, but Georgie had called and asked him to drop in.
“I’m not going dress shopping.” Benji refused to step into the store. “If you need someone to sample cakes, I’m your man.”
“You’re carrying an Hermès purse,” Felix reminded him.
“True.” Benji nodded. “But I didn’t have to go to a store to buy it.” He stayed outside and sat on a bench.
A saleslady escorted Felix into the back of the shop. He found Georgie standing on a platform in front of a three-panel mirror.
“Wow,” Felix said. “You look pretty, Georgie.”
She stopped fiddling with the headpiece and turned to him. “Isn’t it the perfect dress?”
He nodded.
“And it hardly needs any alterations, which is good. We don’t have much time.” She smoothed the fabric across her stomach.
“Good.” He didn’t know anything about alterations or how long they might take. His mom had hemmed his pants before. They were always at least an inch too long. She was able to do it in one night while watching Dateline.
“It costs a little over six thousand dollars,” Georgie continued. “But I think it’s worth it. I never imagined I could wear a Limor Rosen.”
He jerked back slightly. He’d spent more than that on Frodo’s pants, but six thousand dollars was a fortune to Georgie and Michelle—and had been to him, last month.
“That’s too much money, Georgie,” his mother said. Felix turned to see her sitting in a high-back maroon chair and sipping a cup of tea.
“I know.” Georgie made a pouty face. “What do you think, Felix?”
“Do not ask your brother to buy your gown. He’s done enough. And I’d like to buy your dress, but I don’t have six thousand dollars to spend. We’ll need to find something reasonable.” His mom set down her fancy teacup.
“Mom, I really want this dress.” Georgie clasped her hands. “Felix has money. It’s not that much, considering.”
“No.” His mom stood up and looked Felix in the eyes. “Wait outside.”
“Moooooom,” Georgie whined, and she sounded six, not twenty.
Felix felt relieved that he didn’t have to tell Georgie no. If she knew he’d just spent thousands on comics but couldn’t buy her a gown, she’d never understand.
“What’s wrong?” Benji asked when Felix stepped outside.
“Nothing.”
“Something,” Benji said. “I can tell because you chew your thumbnail when you’re stressed.”
Felix pulled his hand from his mouth. “Do not. And nothing is wrong.”
“Liar.” Benji leaned back on the bench. “What are we doing next? We should rent a helicopter to fly us over the city.”
“I hate this game!” Felix snapped.
Both Reggie and Benji looked up at him.
“What game?” Reggie asked.
“I Spy,” Benji answered quickly. “I beg him to play, but he won’t.”
Benji got up from the bench and draped an arm over Felix’s shoulder. “What do you want to play, buddy?” He walked them a few steps from Reggie.
“I knew something was wrong,” Benji continued. “Why are you freaking out?”
“I hate that we can’t buy stuff for other people. It’s not fair. It’s not right. What’s the point of all the money if we can’t share it? It’s not like I just want to give it to strangers.” And just then, Felix looked up and saw, down the street, a homeless woman with a dog begging for change with a paper coffee cup, and he felt even worse.
“Once we win, you can do whatever you want with the money,” Benji reminded him.
“But that’s after the wedding, and Georgie won’t need a wedding dress in December. She wants one now.”
“Oh,” Benji said.
“I just want to buy a wedding dress,” Felix whined. He realized he sounded like Georgie.
Suddenly, Benji slapped him in the chest. “You totally can!”
“No.” Felix pushed Benji away. He didn’t seem to be listening at all. “We can’t buy stuff for other people. A wedding dress is definitely stuff.”
“No.” Benji crossed his arms. “You said, ‘I just want to buy a wedding dress.’ And you can. For yourself.”
Felix shook his head instinctively, but as he thought about it, he realized Benji was right. “I can buy the dress for me! I just have to wear it once. That’s what the rules say. I have to use what I buy. Then Georgie can borrow it.”
“I’ll buy a wedding dress too,” Benji said. “Because they’re more expensive than most guys’ clothes, right?”
Felix turned to go back into the store just as Georgie and his mom came out. Georgie’s eyes were red.
“We’ll find something as beautiful as you are,” his mom said as she rubbed Georgie’s back.
“Georgie! Georgie!” Felix jumped in front of his sister. “I’m going to buy your dress.” Then he looked at Benji, who’d been the genius behind the idea. “We’re going to buy your dress.”
His mom tilted her head. “Felix, I told you—”
“Come on. Let’s do this.” Benji pulled open the door to the shop, no longer put off by dress shopping. “Time to get fancy.”
Georgie didn’t hesitate. She hurried back into the store. Felix tried to follow, but his mom grabbed his arm.
“Why are you doing this?” she asked, and now it was her eyes that looked red. “I told you I wanted to buy her dress. It means something to me.”
“But you can’t afford it.” The words escaped his mouth before he could consider their impact.
“I can’t afford that dress, but we could have found a different one.”
“But Georgie really wants this dress.”
She gave him a challenging look. “And I really wanted to be the one who bought it for her.”
He wished he could just slide six thousand dollars into his mom’s wallet. Then she could buy the dress and everyone would be happy.
“Wait, you can buy the dress,” Felix said, remembering the money he’d won at the Celtics game. “Use the ten thousand I gave you.”
“No. Absolutely not.” She sighed. “You’re not listening to me, Felix. It’s not just about the price tag. Something doesn’t have to be expensive to be special. You should know that.” She shook her head, and maybe for the first time in his life, he could feel she was disappointed in him.
She joined Reggie on the bench.
“I’m sorry,” Felix said.
She just waved away his apology like it was an annoying fly. He hadn’t meant to make his mom feel bad or to keep her from buying Georgie a wedding gown. Did it matter who actually paid for it if Georgie was happy? His mom was selfish for demanding that Georgie buy something in her price range. Felix was the good guy in this situation.
He looked back at his mom. Her head was in her hands. Good guys didn’t make other people cry on public benches. If he knew what to say or how to fix his mistake, he’d go over to her. But he was clueless, so he went inside to buy a gown.
Benji
The next morning, Reggie drove Benji and Felix to school in the Porsche. Felix sat in the back and stroked Freebie’s head. Benji had already asked him three times if he was okay, and Felix had insisted—three times—that he was fine. Since they’d bought the wedding gowns, Felix had been acting weird, and Benji knew it wasn’t because they now owned frilly dresses.
When they got to school, Felix shuffled inside and didn’t respond to anyone
’s hellos. Benji talked to everyone. He would have signed autographs and posed for pictures if anyone had asked. Then he walked by the doughnut stand to check on everything and ran into Aidan and Luke.
“Hey, any jelly left?” Benji asked. He’d already had breakfast at the hotel, but he could make room for a doughnut.
“Benji, are we having pizza for lunch today?” Aidan ignored Benji’s question and asked his own.
“Of course.” Benji held up his hand, expecting a high five for his generosity.
Instead, Aidan groaned. “Could we get something else?”
“All we do is eat pizza,” Luke added, and grabbed his stomach like it caused him pain.
“What do you want?” Benji asked.
“Tacos,” they answered in unison, and it didn’t sound spontaneous.
“Tacos?” Benji repeated.
“Yeah, tacos,” Aidan said. “Everyone is complaining about the pizza.”
Why would they complain about pizza? Pizza is the best.
“I like tacos,” Benji said. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“Thanks.” Aidan clapped him on the back and walked off with Luke. Benji heard him say to Luke, “I told you he’d do it.”
Benji didn’t understand what had just happened. He didn’t mind buying tacos or sandwiches or chicken nuggets. He could afford all of it. But what did his “friends” expect from him?
“Are you okay?” Suddenly Alma was standing in front of him.
“Yeah.”
“You’ve been standing in the same spot for two minutes,” she said.
He shook his head and realized she was right.
“Can I ask you a question? Do you like tacos?”
“I like tacos.” She smiled, and his heart sped up.
“Good. I’m buying tacos for lunch. You can have some.” Maybe Aidan and Luke’s idea wasn’t bad.
“No, thank you.”
“Why not?” He fought to keep his voice level. All girls were a bit of a mystery, but Alma took it to the next level. “I want to do something nice for you. That’s all. Why can’t I buy you lunch?”
“You’re buying the whole school lunch.” She gestured to the crowded hallway. “That’s not for me.”
“I can order something special for you. Something no one else gets. Anything you want.” He flashed his biggest smile and hoped he didn’t have any breakfast left in his braces.
“That’s not necessary,” she said. “I brought my lunch. And you don’t need to buy me anything.”
“Why won’t you let me do something nice for you?”
“You want to do something nice?” she asked. “You can help me hang these posters.” She held out a small stack of homemade signs.
DRAMA CLUB FUNDRAISER
FOOD, VENDORS, AUCTION, ENTERTAINMENT
DECEMBER 1ST
6PM—8PM
“Hey,” he said, cheering up. “It’s on December first.”
“Just like you requested. You still offering to supply pizza or other food?” She straightened her purple cat ears. “It’s not for me. It’s for the drama club.”
“Absolutely. And I’ll help you hang them up.” He took the stack. “Posters today, maybe I can buy you lunch tomorrow…or, um, on Monday.”
“Benji, if you keep buying people food and offering trips to Disney, they’ll want to hang out with you. But then how will you know who your real friends are?” She walked off, not giving him a chance to reply. Not that he’d know what to say.
* * *
• • •
After open gym, it was officially the weekend and time for spending serious money. But first, they had to wear the wedding dresses or the troll would shut down the challenge.
“Come on,” Benji begged. He stood in the living room of Felix’s suite, waiting for his partner.
The bedroom door opened slowly like in a horror movie. But instead of a monster, there was Felix in Georgie’s dream wedding gown. It fit him horribly. The shoulder straps fell down to his elbows, and the skirt bunched at his feet.
Benji laughed. “You look like a cream puff.”
“And you look like a frozen fish,” Felix said.
“You’re right. A mermaid cut is not flattering on a guy my size.” He exaggerated a frown.
“A what cut?”
“Mermaid. That’s what the saleslady called it.” Benji held his head up high, proud to know something Felix didn’t.
“I hate this dress, and not just because I have to wear it,” Felix mumbled. “Now what?”
“Selfies. To send to the troll.” Benji held up his phone and took a few pictures. “Then we’ll go order something at the restaurant, so we can say we wore the dresses out.”
“Let’s do it.” Felix attached Freebie’s leash, and they headed to the elevator.
The restaurant was empty except for a few employees. Benji and Felix sat at the bar and ordered sodas.
“Special occasion?” the bartender asked. “Want your root beer in a champagne flute?”
“Ha ha,” Benji replied.
The bartender gave them their drinks in regular glasses. Two boys had never drunk sodas so fast. They were about to leave when Benji noticed a picture of Laura Friendly on the television.
“Can you turn that up?” he asked.
When the sound came on, it wasn’t Laura Friendly on the screen anymore. It was a country singer named Danny Devon yelling at the camera.
“That BLEEEP Laura Friendly and the BLEEEEP maggots that work at Friendly Connect are BLEEEEP your privacy and selling your BLEEEEP soul to the highest BLEEEEP bidder. They’d BLEEEEEP do anything to make a dollar. Our entire society is a BLEEEEP mess because of BLEEEP people like Laura Friendly and BLEEEEEP her BLEEEEP BLEEEP BLEEEEP.”
Felix, Benji, and the bartender all stared at the television.
“I don’t even know what he’s saying at the end because there’s so much being bleeped out.” Benji curled his lip.
“He’s trashing Laura Friendly,” Felix said.
“Yeah, he is.”
“And she’s our friend!”
“She is?”
“Yes! We need to do something.” Felix turned to Benji and looked completely serious.
“What do you suggest?”
“I don’t know.” Felix pushed away his empty soda glass, and the bartender refilled it. “Ms. Friendly is nice.”
“Is she?”
“She gave us five million dollars,” Felix said.
Benji whispered, “No, she gave us a challenge to spend over five million dollars. If she’d given us five million dollars, I’d call her nice.”
“Whatever. I don’t like this guy attacking Ms. Friendly. We need to do something. Think, Benji. You’re the creative one.”
I am? Artists, musicians, and writers were creative. Benji was none of those things.
“I guess we can prank him,” Benji suggested.
“Yes! And we have millions of dollars at our disposal. How do we get revenge?” Felix asked. He pounded his left fist in his right palm.
Benji liked this idea. Getting revenge with a nearly unlimited budget opened up the possibilities. Filling Danny Devon’s pool with Jell-O (assuming the singer had a pool), feeding pigeons near his sports car (assuming he had a sports car), or making a mock video of his hit song starring cats.
“Well?” Felix asked.
“Hang on.” A good idea sprouted in Benji’s brain, along with the ridiculous ideas. He Googled Danny Devon’s appearances on his phone.
“He has a concert. Tomorrow night. In Chicago!” Benji said. “We buy tickets. All the available tickets for his show.”
“How is that a prank?” Felix tilted his head and stared.
“When Danny Devon comes out onstage, he’ll be
singing to empty seats. To nobody!” Benji rubbed his fingernails on his shirt and then blew on them.
“But we have to use what we buy,” Felix said.
“We can go to the concert. And if the troll insists, we’ll even sit in every seat. For at least a few seconds.”
Felix leaned closer to Benji to look at the phone screen. “How many tickets are there?”
“The Chicago Theatre isn’t huge, not like a stadium.” Benji pointed to the screen. “Says it only seats four thousand. And…” Benji clicked the available tickets button. “There are over a thousand tickets available right now.”
Felix squished his eyebrows together. “Sounds like he’s already playing to a quarter-empty theater.”
“No, people buy the tickets last minute at half price, or for even less, and the show would technically sell out.” His parents had bought tickets this way before in New York.
“Okay.” Felix nodded. “Buy them all.”
Using their money for revenge, this was new. This was awesome. This was creative.
Felix
That morning, the T. rex and triceratops skulls arrived at the Grand Regency. The boys suspected their parents would not be enthusiastic about their paleontology purchases. So they asked Reggie if they could “hide” the fossils in his suite.
“Why don’t you just get a storage space?” Reggie replied.
But Benji came up with a better idea. “We’ll rent more rooms.”
So the T. rex, which they named Banana Teeth, and Trip, the triceratops, each got their own room on the seventh floor. The boys also stored their shoe collection, their one handbag, and their various “toys” in 704 and 705. Then they wasted the rest of their Saturday afternoon filling up virtual shopping carts with more stuff (giant pool floats, VR headsets, new gaming systems, extra laptops and iPads) before it was finally time to head to the Danny Devon concert.
Felix’s mom gave him permission to go to the show. Maybe she said yes because she already had plans with Georgie and Michelle. Or maybe because he didn’t mention that the concert was in Chicago. He’d just said, “Reggie’s driving,” which was partly true. He drove them to the airport. Felix was becoming an expert at rule-bending.
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