He shook his head. “I thought of that, but I know how I was. It wouldn’t have worked. She has to want to come home.”
“I will be praying. Me and these innocent babes. You go find her tomorrow and let her know you want her.”
“I might do that.” He set the babies down in the house and went back outside to carry in Granny’s things. He did need to go into town for the wood anyway. If he saw Lila again, he’d ask her to come home.
And tonight, he’d pray for her. She was his wife.
Chapter 11
Lila barely slept, but when she did open her eyes, the sun was fully up and shining through the curtained window of Marge’s room. By the smells, breakfast was underway with bacon and eggs.
Hurriedly, she dressed and made her way into the café and found Marge. “Can I work to help pay for my night?”
Marge frowned at her. “I guess I could use some help.” She pulled an apron from a hook behind the kitchen wall and handed it to her. “Go and wipe down some of the tables. Most of my early risers are rather sloppy eaters.” She grinned. “I’ll get you a plate of breakfast. On the house.”
Lila started to protest but saw it would be to no avail. So, she rushed to clean as many tables as she could before Marge returned with a plate piled high with eggs, potatoes, and bacon. Lila’s stomach rumbled as she took the plate from her.
“Thank you, Marge. I am hungry.”
“Eat up. If I see that mangy Drake coming, I’ll let you know, and you run back in my room. Big Sam will protect you back there. No one goes to my kitchen through Big Sam.”
Lila nodded and dug into her breakfast. Never had she eaten so well. If only she could stay. In all her years, she’d never been in a town that had treated her so well. She finished her breakfast and took the plate back to the kitchen.
She was about to walk back to the front when she saw Drake enter the café. Lila darted to the back and felt sick. Drake was everything she hated about herself. He carried all that was evil and wicked about her profession.
Funny, she almost felt sorry for him because he didn’t have any idea that he was just as worthless as she was. He didn’t see it in his eyes. The wasted darkness as if he were void of life. A taker. Only looking to survive by taking life from others.
Oh, she didn’t kill anyone, but she took life from them just the same by dragging them down into a pit of filth and condemnation. She stared at Drake and watched him talk to Marge. He pointed at Marge and shoved her.
Lila was about to go out to protect Marge when she saw Big Sam rush out of the kitchen to the café and raise a cleaver at Drake.
Seeing the big man, Drake backed up. He yelled at Marge and then stormed out the door, letting it slam behind him.
Lila shuddered. He meant to get her back. She’d seen his kind before. She went to Marge. “I saw him. I need to leave town today. I’m going to run to the stage depot.”
“Better stay here. Where do you think Drake will go? He knows you want to get out of town.”
“The sheriff?”
Marge shook her head. “Sheriff Hudson is a good man, but he’ll tell you there’s nothing he can do until Drake does something to you. Honey that could be beat you or even kill you. He’s an angry man.”
“I suppose you’re right.” Lila sat down. “I need to find out when the next stage leaves.”
Marge shook her head. “I can send Sam. Drake won’t mess with him.”
“Would you? Please.”
“All right. Sam, I need you to run to the stage depot for me.” She looked at the big man. “I need to know when the next stage leaves and where it is going.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He looked at Lila with sadness in his eyes. “That man, Drake, he’ll hurt you, Lila. You’re better off here with us or even better with your husband.”
Lila darted a startled look at him, but Sam’s face held no condemnation only fact. He was right. She had married Zandy. Like it or not, the preacher had married her to him. She tried to tell herself that it didn’t mean anything. Yet, deep inside, where her heart was buried by years of offense, self-loathing, and sin, she knew what Sam was telling her was true.
She’d married Zandy. An oath before God. The same Creator who made the giraffe and the sparrow. Would He care? If He saw the sparrows, did He see her? Lila had always felt invisible because no one cared if she lived her died.
But now, she felt naked and ashamed before God. She’d given her word and married Zandy. Yet, she was bad for him and the children. It was better for them if she left town.
Her mind made up, she stopped the voices arguing in her mind and went to the place of peace where she thought of nothing. The nothing she was and the nothing she’d be.
***
Zandy left right after breakfast. Granny had made a wonderful plate of eggs and bacon. She’d already cleaned the children and fed them. He picked them up and gave them each a hug and a kiss.
“I’m going to bring Lila back.” He glanced at Granny. “I hope you prayed enough.”
“I did. You go get that girl. And if she doesn’t want me here, that will be all right too. I want more than anything for you and Lila to be together as a family with the little ones.”
Zandy went to her and gave her a hug and kissed the top of her head. “Granny Early, you are a part of this mixed-up family. Lila will love you. She’ll need someone to help her, too.” He grabbed his money belt and went out of the door.
Breathing in the fresh air, Zandy let it out in prayer to the Living God. He wanted more than anything for Lila to come back with him. He’d do what it took. Even if it meant fighting Drake for her.
He’d swore he’d never hold a pistol again, but if that was what it took, he’d fight Drake. When he pulled into town, it was if he could feel the tension. Nothing looked out of place or wrong, but the air was tense as if lightning was about to lash out of the sky.
Maybe it was God’s anger. Perhaps judgment that Lila ran out on the marriage and vows or that he was about to go back on his and fight Drake. But there was an unease in his spirit.
Zandy went to the store and ordered the wood and nails. Then he went to the saloon. The sooner he got this over with, the better.
Shoving the swinging doors, Zandy entered and looked around. He didn’t see Lila, but it was early.
Drake was at his table, shuffling the cards.
“Where is she, Drake?”
“Gone. I thought you had her. I’m glad you’re here because it saves me a trip.” Drake stood and undid his coat button to reveal his revolver.
“I’m not carrying a gun. I just want Lila. My wife.”
“Your wife ran out on you. I hired her.” Drake took a few steps toward him.
“Then it looks like she ran out on you too.” Zandy turned his back on Drake and left the saloon. He’d taken a chance because Drake was ready to shoot him. But the man was smart enough to know that he’d hang if he shot an unarmed man.
Zandy went to the hotel, but Charlie said no one had checked in last night. So, Zandy went to the café. Marge had a big heart and would be the one to take Lila in.
Pulling open the door, Zandy stepped in and called for Lila.
Marge came running out of the back. “Shh. She’s not here.”
He gripped Marge by her shoulders. “Where is she?”
Looking around, Marge pointed. “At the depot. Hurry. The stage leaves in an hour.”
“Thanks, Marge.”
Zandy ran out of the café and toward the depot. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Drake come out of the saloon.
Zandy reached the depot and bolted up the steps. He looked on the platform and saw her sitting on the bench with her carpetbag beside her and the giraffe carving in her hands. She looked up, tears in her eyes.
“Lila, come home with me. I want you. There’s nothing you could have done to make me send you away. We’re married now, remember?”
“No, I can’t. I’ll ruin your life and the lives of those innocent childre
n. Can’t you see that? Already, Drake will—”
Drake came around the corner. “That’s where you are. Lila, I missed you last night. You belong to me. We’re the same, you and I.” He edged up the steps so that he was on the edge of the platform.
Zandy ignored him. “Lila, I love you. I meant that. You don’t have to go.” He knelt before her and took her hand in his. “I know what it’s like to have done things that you’re ashamed of. Things that you think are unforgivable.”
“You don’t. You can’t.” Tears fell down her cheeks onto the carving.
“Lila, I was a gunfighter. I killed men just to prove I was faster with a gun. I put that away Christmas of last year. I made a vow never to touch another pistol. But if I have to, I’ll fight Drake for your freedom. You married me before you signed any contract with him.”
Her chin quivered. “I can’t.”
“You can. Come with me, Lila. Home to our babies. And I got Mrs. Jenkins to come and help us. If you don’t mind. She has no place to go and needed a home. It’s for all of us. I ordered the wood to build two new rooms. Later, I’ll build Granny Jenkins her own small cabin back of our house. But most importantly, I want you. I need you, Lila.”
She shook her head. “But I am dirty. I’ve lived a filthy life. How can you want me? That isn’t the kind of woman you want for those children.”
“I see a warm, kind woman in front of me. One who wants to change. You tried to go back to the old life, but you didn’t like it did you?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Come home with me.” He stood and pulled her to her feet.
Drake stepped forward. “Aren’t you forgetting something? You signed a contract with me, Lila.”
“How did she sign it, Drake?” Zandy stared at the man.
“Lila Swanson.”
“Then it’s no good. Her name is Lila Smith. Mrs. Zanzibar Smith.” He stared into her eyes. “Isn’t that right?”
Lila looked at him and nodded. “Yes, that’s right. Zandy is my husband. You can ask Marge and Pastor Coates.”
Drake pulled his pistol. “Maybe this gun says otherwise.”
Zandy put Lila behind him. “I don’t carry a gun, and I won’t fight you with a gun.”
Sheriff Hudson walked up behind Drake. “You’ll hang if you shoot him, Drake.”
Putting his gun away, Drake nodded. “All right. I know when I have a losing hand.” He stepped off the platform and walked past the sheriff, brushing his shoulder roughly against the lawman.
The sheriff watched him go. “I guess there won’t be any trouble.”
“No.” Lila heard the stage coming and looked at Zandy. “I should go.”
“Where? To another, Drake? Come with me, Lila. I’ll love you until you can see how beautiful you are. Until you know how worthy of being loved you are. I don’t care if it takes me the rest of my life.”
She stepped toward him. “You’re sure?”
“I’m sure.” He pulled her to him and hugged her. Then he kissed her. “There, that’s just a little of what you’ll get at home.”
“Home?”
“Yes, a real home. The children are waiting for you. Mrs. Jenkins too. Mostly me. I love you, Lila.”
Tears flooded down her cheeks. How long had she yearned to hear those words? She flung herself into his arms and nestled her head against his chest. Warmth and peace covered her as she soaked in his embrace.
Then Zandy tilted her head so that she could look into his eyes. “Let’s go home.”
Epilogue
It was Christmas Eve. Lila helped Zandy decorate the tree. They’d wrapped a few presents for the children and Mrs. Jenkins. She had gone to her cabin just after dinner to make some surprises of her own, she’d told them.
Lila had never had a Christmas with people that cared. Her life had changed so drastically since she went home with Zandy. Oh, a few of the people in town still looked down on her. Drake still looked longingly at her. But most were happy for her and Zandy.
She sat down. “It’s all so wonderful. Thank you for telling me about Pastor Coates and how he took you to the cross. You know, it was the carving of your giraffe that led me to the Lord. I knew after looking at that amazing creature that he had to be designed by a loving God. Those funny knobs on the animal’s head.
Zandy kissed her. “I love you, Lila.”
She stared at him. “I can’t believe this is my life. The children, Granny Jenkins, who treats me like her daughter. But mostly you. Zanzibar Smith. You’ve shown me I’m not worthless.”
He kissed her again. “I heard Griffin call me Papa. Gracie grabbed the dog and called her Fa fa.”
Lila hugged him and put a hand on her stomach. “Oh, I do have a present for you. But you won’t get to see if for a few months.”
Zandy looked at her. “Where is it?”
She patted her belly. “Growing in here. This spring, Gracie and Griffin will get a baby sister or brother.”
“You’re sure?”
She nodded. “Early Jenkins and I went to town the other day to pick up supplies and stopped in at the doctor’s office.”
Zandy pulled her to him. “You’ve made me the happiest man. You’ve made this cabin a home.”
“Oh, Zandy. You’ve given me so much more. I love you forever.”
~~~
Author’s Note – Patricia PacJac Carroll. I hope you enjoyed Lila and Zandy’s story. I had fun writing it.
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