by Octavia June
But of course I read them anyway.
No matter how stupid, how mean, how pointless, and how infuriating they were.
They were anonymous, so it seemed like everyone was competing to say the worst, meanest thing ever. Even under a fake name, they still wanted all the attention and pretended they were saying something witty and clever.
Ugh.
Now the key was not to let them into my head.
So what if someone didn’t like my body? It was mine, not theirs.
They could all just fuck off. I’d reported the images to the webhost so they would be taken down, but I had no clue when they’d remove them.
A text popped up on the screen of my phone.
It was from Sam. She wanted to know if I was okay, and she also wanted me to go with her to the school dance next weekend.
Ugh. The school dance.
I’d totally forgotten about it, and I had no idea why it was even being held.
No one had invited me, which wasn’t a surprise. But no one had invited Sam either.
Did I even want to go to the dance now?
Maybe it was exactly what I needed. Even though there was supposed to be no alcohol, someone always smuggled it in, along with drugs.
Besides, it was going to be dark in there. No one was going to care about me.
And I wanted to have some fun. I didn’t want to have to hide in a dark hole forever until everyone forgot about me again.
I was sure Aaron, Ethan, Zack, and Rhys were going to have better things to do than focus on me. Girls would be all over them, and they’d be crazy to waste their time on me.
But there was a problem.
Most girls were going to wear a dress. And I didn’t like dresses.
Sure, I could go in a suit too, but I was afraid that was only going to bring more attention to me, and the last thing I wanted now was attention.
Why did I even care how I looked in a dress?
Everyone had seen me in my bra and panties now. I supposed I had nothing to hide.
Except, it still bugged me.
Why was my mind such a mess? Why couldn’t I just be as confident and as proud as I wanted to be?
It was like, deep down, I knew I shouldn’t feel the way I felt, but I couldn’t help it for some reason. And there was a tiny voice in my head whispering that maybe they were right.
I was fat.
I was ugly.
No one would ever want to date me, let alone touch me.
I had to do something to focus my thoughts on something else because I didn’t want to fall into the deep well of sadness and self-pity.
It was hard, but I needed to stop my mind. Feeling bad about myself or driving myself crazy thinking about it wasn’t going to help anyone.
I hurried to my closet and started digging through it.
There was a long red dress that I’d bought for myself a few months ago, but I’d never gotten a chance to wear it. If I could still fit into it, then maybe I could wear it to the dance. I remembered it had looked really nice on me.
Maybe that was still the case.
A knock on the door made me look toward it.
“Honey, what are you doing?” my mom asked as she poked her head inside, her brow furrowing.
“Trying to find my dress. The red one?” It wasn’t like I had many dresses, so she had to know which one I was talking about.
“Oh. It should be right here.” She crossed the room and crouched in front of my closet. A few moments later, she held my neatly folded dress in her hands. “This one? Are you going on a date?”
I made a face. “No. We have another one of those school dances. I’m not sure what the theme is this time.”
There was always some kind of a theme.
Those dances were supposed to bring all the students closer together and give them a chance to have fun in a safe environment—or at least that was what the school administration wanted to believe.
“That’s nice. Are you going with someone?” My mom couldn’t hide hopefulness in her eyes.
“Um, with Sam. Samantha, I mean.” Just in case she assumed I was going out with some guy.
“Oh okay. Maybe you’ll meet someone interesting there.”
I fought the urge to roll my eyes, even though I knew my mom meant well. “We all already know each other. It’s going to be the same people I see every day at school.”
“Well yeah, but maybe you’re too busy to talk to them or to get to know them better. Or they might be too shy to approach you.”
At least my mom was confident that someone would actually be interested in me.
But she was my mom. She had to think that, didn’t she? What loving mom didn’t think her child was precious?
“Suuure, but it doesn’t matter. I just want to have some fun.” I took the dress from her, pushed myself up, and spread it out on the bed. “If I can still fit in this thing.”
“Of course you can,” my mom said as she got to her feet.
I really hoped so.
I fully intended to have fun at the dance.
Maybe Sam and I could find more girls who didn’t have a date, and then we could all dance together.
Yeah, I could already picture how awesome that could be.
Not even Aaron, Ethan, Zack, and Rhys were going to ruin my night. It wasn’t like they’d do something to me where everyone could see them, including the teachers supervising the dance.
No.
I’d be free of them.
At least for one night.
Chapter 8
SAM HAD MANAGED TO gather a whole group of those of us who didn’t have a dance partner, and we were all dancing together and having fun. It was really nice, actually, and my dress was just fine, or at least I hoped it was.
There were a few people who were whispering about me or watching me too closely, but most couldn’t care less because they were more worried about how they were going to smuggle alcohol and weed inside.
Not being the center of attention was quite nice. I could finally be myself again and just dance until I could no longer stand on my feet.
But then I spotted him.
Black hair, blue eyes.
Black leather jacket, white shirt, dark blue jeans.
Rhys.
He looked as if he’d walked out of some TV show or a teen magazine. Almost every girl was checking him out as he sauntered through the crowd.
I pulled away a little, hoping he wouldn’t see me.
But his gaze focused right on me.
I was surrounded by a group of people, so what was he going to do? And where were his friends? I couldn’t see Zack, Ethan, or Aaron anywhere.
Rhys couldn’t do anything to me with so many people here, right? Even if most of them wouldn’t dare to do anything or didn’t care enough, Sam and a few others would stand by my side if needed.
“Hey, Melody,” Rhys said as he stopped not too far away from me.
“What the fuck do you want?” Sam snapped, stepping in front of me.
“I only want to talk to Melody. That’s all. Will you let me pass?”
Sam turned toward me, giving me a questioning look.
Why the hell would Rhys want to talk to me? Was it so he could blackmail me? Was he going to tell me what he and his friends planned to do next?
I took a deep breath and gave her a little nod.
The last thing I wanted was to talk to Rhys or any of the guys, but maybe it was important.
Sam moved out of the way, and Rhys approached me. Having him so close to me was mildly upsetting, but I wasn’t about to let him unnerve me.
Not tonight.
“Look, Melody. I know my friends and I haven’t been nice to you, but it was just a joke. I’m really sorry for what happened. I don’t know how that website got the photos from my phone. It was a mistake. But everything was removed, so you don’t have to worry about it,” he said.
I stared at him.
An apology? Really? Should I believ
e any of that?
Probably not.
Rhys’ face was giving me nothing, and I had no clue if he was lying or telling the truth.
“Okay.” I didn’t know what else to say.
If he was really sorry, then he and his friends would stop tormenting me.
“Will you dance with me?” He offered his hand to me, and I heard someone gasp behind me.
Everyone’s eyes were now on me.
Oh great.
Just what I needed.
“Why? So you can trip me over? Call me fat? Lift my dress up?” I narrowed my eyes at him. “No. I’m not going to dance with you.”
“I promise I won’t do any of that to you.”
“My answer is still no.”
“You’re very pretty tonight,” he said. “One dance won’t kill you.”
There was something about his eyes. Something that made me think that he wasn’t trying to trick me, but maybe that was just my wishful thinking.
And if I danced with him, wouldn’t that actually make things better for me?
If he wanted to dance with me, then I wasn’t as undesirable as so many people claimed. But even if this was real, how could I forget what Rhys and his friends had done to me?
“Come on,” he said. “Don’t be like that. What is everyone going to think?”
Was that a threat?
Was my rejection only going to make things worse? Wait, was that what Rhys was hoping for? Would he use it against me?
I took his hand. “Just one dance.”
To hell with all of it.
What was the worst thing he could do to me in front of everyone?
This was better than him inventing bullshit about me because I’d told him no.
I let him pull me onto the dance floor.
Absolutely everyone was looking at us.
Rhys’ arm wound around my waist, and I awkwardly draped my arm around his neck.
Stupid slow song.
Couldn’t something faster start playing?
We moved very slowly, and Rhys’ eyes were intent on mine, his hand resting firmly on the small of my back.
I waited for him to say something or reveal to me that the whole thing was a trap, but as we kept dancing, my shoulders relaxed a fraction.
Why the hell did this feel so damn nice? I’d never really danced with a guy before, except with my relatives for fun or with my dance instructor.
And where the hell had Rhys learned to dance? His hand that was closed around mine was so damn warm, and every now and then, his finger brushed my skin as if in a caress.
The song was coming to its end, but before I could pull away from him, he pressed me closer to him and brought his lips down on mine.
For a few moments, I was dizzy as his lips moved against mine. I was just frozen, unsure what to do, but then I finally shoved him away from me, my lips still tingling.
A huge grin spread across his face, and then I realized more than a few people were laughing.
“I win!” Rhys shouted.
Of course.
A bet.
It had all been a bet.
And silly me, I let him win.
I stormed away from there, and as Sam came running after me, I couldn’t help but feel furious.
My first kiss.
Rhys had stolen it away from me.
Ugh.
Chapter 9
I SO DIDN’T WANT TO go to my History class.
Rhys, Aaron, Ethan, and Zack were going to be there, and I just had no idea how I was going to bear looking at them there.
The Ember High Journal already listed who had won the bet last night.
Apparently, the bet was to kiss me, and they had, unfortunately correctly, assumed that I’d never kissed anyone before.
Now Rhys was the winner, and in the comments under the article, everyone was congratulating him for bravery. Some were joking that they were surprised I hadn’t eaten him first.
I kept my head down as I found my seat, unwilling to look at any of them.
Yeah, they’d played me yet again, and I hoped this was going to be the last time. I wasn’t going to fall for their bullshit ever again, and I was going to stay as far away as possible from them and never ever go anywhere alone.
Hell, Sam had walked me to the door here, and I wished she and I were in this class together.
“Listen up, everyone,” the teacher said. “Your most important project for this class is coming up, and I’ve decided that it should be a collaborative one instead of an individual one.”
Some students grinned, others groaned.
“There will be five students in one group,” she added. “And I’m the one who’ll choose in which group you’re going to be.”
Gasps of surprise filled the room.
“I already have the list.” The teacher pulled out a piece of paper, and as she started reading the names, my stomach filled with dread.
This project was super-important for our final grade, and I couldn’t afford to mess it up.
“Aaron Oliveira, Rhys Blake, Zack Haynes, Ethan Summers, and Melody Reid.”
I stopped breathing, a tremor running through my body.
No.
This wasn’t happening.
How was this even possible?
I couldn’t work with those four.
Not on this.
I glanced toward them, and they were all grinning at me. The room tilted around me, and I wished I could disappear.
No. No. No.
I was about to raise my hand and try to convince the teacher to switch me to another group, but someone had already done it.
“No, Mr. Stevens,” the teacher said. “You may not switch to another group.”
Whispers, groans, and chatter followed as the teacher lifted her hand.
“Quiet, everyone. Don’t forget how important this project is,” she said. “You need to learn to work together with other students too. You can’t always work with your friends.”
Then why the hell were Aaron, Zack, Rhys, and Ethan in one group?
Ugh.
What if they’d somehow forced the teacher to do this?
But why?
My throat was closing up, and I thought I was going to be sick.
What was I going to do? Could I talk with the teacher?
She’d said she wouldn’t change the groups, but maybe she’d reconsider if I told her what the four boys had done to me.
But then again, if she did it for me, then everyone would want to switch, and it would be chaos.
Besides, I didn’t want to talk about my bullies to the whole damn world. I didn’t want my teacher to look at me with pity or to call my parents.
Actually, maybe this whole thing would be good for me.
Aaron, Rhys, Zack, and Ethan needed a good grade too, and they couldn’t afford to fail this project. And we’d have to spend a lot of time together, maybe even go to one another’s houses so we could complete this.
Maybe they would stop messing with me if they wanted our project to be a success, and if I could be around them, then I might find out something that I could use against them.
My gaze shifted toward them. They and their lives appeared so damn perfect, but was that really the case?
What if they had secrets? What if I could uncover them and expose them to the whole world? What if I could find something to blackmail them into leaving me alone?
Hmm.
Suddenly, working on this project with them didn’t seem all that bad, but that was only in theory. I had no idea how the boys were going to react or what they were going to do.
Judging by the looks on their faces, they were happy with this, and they hadn’t said anything or complained to the teacher.
What if they already had a plan?
I didn’t like any of it.
But then again, maybe they were just happy that they were all together in the same group, especially with me and not with someone who might give them a hard time.
/> Still, it was going to be awkward as hell.
What if they tried to exclude me from the project? What if they didn’t like any of my ideas? How was I even going to agree on the subject of our project?
Were they going to cooperate or just drive me crazy?
I was going to find out, but as I glanced at them one more time, I knew that it was going to be difficult.
They were looking way too smug. But maybe I could beat them at their own game.
I just had to play it smart and not let them unnerve me. How was I going to be alone with them, though?
I couldn’t drag Sam with me all the time, as I was sure she had her own stuff to work on.
Oh hell.
Right now, I couldn’t decide if this was the worst thing that could’ve happened to me or the best.
Chapter 10
SAM HAD TO DO SOMETHING, so I was alone in the hallway.
I still hadn’t had the chance to talk to the boys about our project, and I had no idea what was going to happen with that.
But as I dashed down the hallway, Rhys and Aaron appeared right in front of me, blocking my path. And when I wanted to turn around, Ethan and Zack were there.
“If this is about our project, we can talk about it at the library after school.” At least there’d be plenty of witnesses and we were supposed to be as quiet as possible.
I wouldn’t be in danger there. Once we figured things out, then we’d work out all the other details.
“Kind of,” Zack said as he yanked my bag off my shoulder.
No.
Not again with that crap.
“Give it back!” I yelled, but it was of no use.
Aaron and Rhys got in my way as Zack rummaged through my bag. Zack pulled out my sandwiches and tossed them to Aaron, and then he went through my wallet and pocketed my money.
“Now let’s talk about the project,” Aaron said with a grin on his face. “You’re going to do it.”
“What the fuck are you talking about? We’re all supposed to do it together,” I said.
“Well duh,” Rhys said. “But you’re going to do it for all of us and you’re not going to say anything to anyone about it, got it? Or we’re going to make your life a living hell.”
I snorted.
As if they hadn’t already been doing that.
But then an idea came to my mind, and I had no clue if it was going to work, but I had to try.