by Angel Devlin
As I got inside, I cast my eyes up to the window where Ezra was watching me. He looked down for a minute and then my phone beeped. I took it from my bag.
Ezra: I've realised I'm a very jealous man.
I laughed up at the window. He'd been watching me with Quinn.
I sent a text back.
Lisa: Safe travels. I'd miss you but Quinn's coming by for a drink later.
Ezra: You're killing me here. I don't want to go now.
Lisa: Juliet needs you. Eli needs you. And I'll be here when you get back.
Ezra: Good. Because I need YOU xo
Chapter Twelve
Ezra
While my mind wanted to play repeats of the afternoon with Lisa, my younger half-brother was like an overenthusiastic puppy crossed with someone with mania as he fired questions at me one after the other.
We were in a people carrier on our way to our hotel in London. I was sharing with Eli, and Angela and Juliet had a room each. It was a good opportunity to get to know my new kid brother.
"So I can ask for anything I want on room service? Like I could have a burger, and then order a pizza, and then another burger? And because you're famous I could say bring me an X-box and some games?"
"Yes, you can order room service. There'll be a menu, but I am hoping we can go out for something to eat tonight all together and then tomorrow there'll be a buffet at the after party, but if you get the munchies in between go for it."
"Cool. I hope I do end up in the papers because my mates are dead jealous you're my brother and I want to make them even more jealous."
"Nice, healthy friendships you've got going on there, mate." I rolled my eyes at Angela.
"It's constant one-upmanship, from who has the best trainers, to now it would appear, the best brother."
"I'm so happy right now," Eli said and a smile passed between me, Angela, and Juliet. He'd not had the easiest of lives and if I could bring him happiness just for a little while, it made me feel a bit happy too.
Conversation on the trip down stayed casual. No talk of my mother and neither me or Jules raised the subject of Angela and Dad. It was comfortable and mainly centred around Eli and his barrage of questions.
The car drove past the front of the hotel I'd said we were staying at.
"He's gone past," Eli yelled.
"Wait and see." I pointed out of the window.
We pulled up at a different entrance at the back. "What's this?" he asked.
"It's the rear entrance so that people like me who might be recognised can get to our rooms quickly and easily."
Eli's face dropped.
"Eli. If we go around the front, I could be an hour signing autographs."
He looked excited and I realised that what I took as being a pain in the arse was pure excitement for Eli.
"Give me a minute," I told him. Stepping out of the car, I spoke to the concierge and my driver. I popped my head back in the car. "Okay, Angela and Jules. If you'd like to make your way inside, you'll be shown to your suites. I suggest we meet for dinner in the lobby around eight? I'll book a table for nine, so if you get hungry in the meantime please do avail yourself of room service. Everything is included. You don't need to tip or anything. Just enjoy."
"I think I've died and gone to heaven," Angela told Juliet and Jules nodded in agreement.
"I am definitely ordering something from room service. Like champagne and strawberries," Jules said.
"Just make sure you're in a fit state to come out to dinner," I warned her.
They made their way inside and once they'd gone out of view, I climbed back in the car. "Okay, the front entrance it is." I clapped Eli on the back. "Prepare to watch me schmooze."
For once I hoped the paps were on the doorstep of the hotel and sure enough as I exited the vehicle a couple stepped forward asking who I was with.
"I'm Ezra's brother, Eli," he announced.
It would be a new story for the tabloid press. They knew my mother had run off with another man, but they didn't know about our half-brother. Now Eli would get his wish, of being in the paper with his famous older brother, but not necessarily for the reasons he’d anticipated. The paps sensed a story and took our photo together and then we made our way into the hotel. I’d taken a few steps into the lobby when we were greeted by a famous actress I’d worked with in the past. One who was hot as fuck to look at, but boring as fuck in real life. Eli was entirely starstuck as she came over and air kissed me asking how I’d been.
After exchanging pleasantries, I introduced her. "This is my little brother, Eli. His first time at an event."
She grabbed hold of his hand squeezing. "Eli, you will love it, and look how handsome you are. Maybe you could be the next actor in the family?"
He nodded his head enthusiastically, the power of speech having clearly deserted him. When she left, he turned to me, "I am never washing my hand again," he announced.
Other people greeted us. Some were from the industry and some were fans hanging around the bar in the hopes of seeing a celebrity and getting a photo or autograph. I actually had fun as Eli was in his element chatting to everyone.
Eventually, I made my excuses that we had to check in as we had dinner reservations and we made our way up to our room. "It's already been the best experience of my life, ever," he said.
I felt my heart burst with pride and then the strangest fucking thing happened. It hit me so hard I felt I might need to grasp the wall in order to stay upright.
This kid had reached some part of me that had never shown itself before. My paternal instinct. My pride at Eli's joy had ricocheted around my body as I realised that I wanted that. I wanted a kid of my own. I wanted to bring this joy to my own children. In that moment I could have danced down the corridor and screamed with joy. I wanted to ring Lisa and tell her I wanted our babies. Then I realised that earlier I hadn't used contraception. Was she on the pill? We'd been so lost in the moment, we'd not discussed it.
I didn't care. I wanted Lisa, and babies. But right now, I wanted that look of joy radiating off Eli's face as much as possible.
And we'd start with our hotel suite.
Eli watched as I put a key in the lift and pressed a silver button with no number. Between his brows furrowed.
"We're in the penthouse, bro." I pushed out my fist and once he'd picked his chin up off the floor he fist bumped me back.
The lift opened up directly at the side of our suite. I opened the door to the rooms and Eli gasped, "Fucking hell, is this where we're staying? For real?"
I'd let him off his cussing because it was pretty fucking fantastic if I said so myself. "For real? Come on. Let's go explore."
The room was vast. Dark mahogany furniture contrasted with the bright open space. Floor-to-ceiling windows let in all the light and a balcony wrapped around the living space and I knew ran outside the two bedrooms. A sofa and chairs were set out next to the windows and a large flatscreen TV was built into the mahogany furniture. It was exquisite.
I pushed open the door to one of the bedrooms and Eli ran in and threw himself onto the bed. He star-fished across it before sitting back on his elbows and shouting to me, "Bro, how am I ever going to want to go back to my own bedroom after this? You've ruined me for good. I'm not sure I want to go out for dinner tonight. I'm not sure I ever want to leave this place. I bet Angela is the same. Oh, but she won't have a room like this."
I laughed. "No, hers isn't like ours, although it's still really nice. I don't think she'll be complaining."
Eli picked up the phone at the side of the bed, looked at it and then dialled 9. "Hello, could you send me up a cheeseburger, fries, and a Coke? Don't you need the room number? Oh, that's so cool. Thank you."
"I'll leave you to it for a while. Get used to the room. Take some photos for your Instagram to show your mates, hey? I'm going to get some water and make a few calls. I need to check in with my team about what the arrangements are for tomorrow."
Eli nodded. He was already
off the bed and looking at his en-suite. "There's a jacuzzi bath. It's huge," I heard him bellow from where I now stood at the little kitchen area. I took out a bottle of water from the fridge, unscrewed the cap and took a large swallow. Taking a seat on one of the sofas I took out my phone and sent Lisa a text.
Ezra: Miss you already. I know you'll be at work and you'll not see this until later, but I wanted you to know that I was thinking about you.
Part of me hoped for a reply message, even though I knew she wasn't allowed to access her phone at work.
I double checked our restaurant reservations were in place. I had totally pulled the famous actor card to get a table for four in one of the most popular central London restaurants that would cater for me having a table with some privacy while we ate. The last thing I wanted was my food going cold while people got up from their own tables and wandered over for my signature on their napkin. I know it sounded mean and when I'd first became a 'celebrity' it had felt amazing, but tonight I wanted to enjoy being out with my family and friend, and for us to be able to talk freely. Ezra Waite the actor was available to all most of the time, but sometimes he needed to take a night off, to be Ezra the brother.
We all ordered drinks and a starter. Eli had regaled Angela and Jules with a full update of his every movement since he'd set eyes upon his hotel room, including showing them photos on his phone. Then he'd questioned the other two on what their own rooms looked like, satisfied that although they were great, they weren't as great as his. His boyish enthusiasm had created a joyous atmosphere and I knew it was exactly what we all needed. The time would come to raise the subject of my mother, but it wasn't now. For now, we'd order cocktails (mocktails and milkshakes for Eli) and I went through what they could expect tomorrow at the event.
When we got back to the hotel, Angela said she was beat and ready to retire to 'that amazing comfy bed'.
"Are you coming to our room for a bit?" I asked Jules.
"Yeah, if that's okay. I'd like to spend some time with my brothers before I call it quits. Only one I'm still getting to know, and one I hardly ever see."
"You'll not want to leave our room," Eli warned her.
"Maybe I'll sofa surf?" She giggled.
When Jules entered the main room she let out a long, low whistle.
"I know, right?" Eli said. "Come and see my room."
She came back out ten minutes later. "He says he's going to watch a film on the widescreen and he'll see you in the morning."
"What's your poison? Switching to water, or more champagne?"
"I'll have a water. I don't want to spoil tomorrow." She took a seat on the sofa and leaned back.
"What a difference a day makes," she said pointedly. "Yesterday was a nightmare and today's like a fairy tale."
"My day has been amazing." I said and I felt the smile that broke out over my face sing in every part of my being.
"You sly fox. What happened earlier today? Tell me everything. Well, not everything, but all the gossipy bits."
So we got our drinks fixed and I did.
Chapter Thirteen
Lisa
I could barely concentrate on the roads as I drove home. My mind veered between how hot the sex had been, how we'd declared the 'L' word, and my brain shouting WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO. HE'LL HURT YOU AGAIN.
But my heart wasn't listening.
He loves me.
He loves me.
He loves me.
When I finally unlocked the door to my parents’ house and closed the door behind me, I sagged behind the door with what I expected would be the silliest, soppiest smile on my face. In fact, I was so intrigued by how I must look, freshly fucked, in love and giddy, that I wandered over to the hallway mirror and gazed at myself.
And saw a large love bite on the side of my neck. One I’d clearly shown off to Quinn Hanson. How he'd managed to keep a straight face I did not know. Thank God, I had the most amazing concealer that would take care of that for my evening shift so the whole bar didn't think me some kind of hussy.
I looked down my top to see if there were any on my breasts and found myself disappointed there weren't.
Then I winked at myself in the mirror. Who was this new Lisa? The one with Joie de vivre? I enjoyed a leisurely bath while my mind replayed everything that had happened with Ezra. It struck me though that I had no one to talk about these things with. Yes, I'd made friends with Violet and Jules, but they weren't deep friendships, and anyway, I'd have never been able to discuss Ezra with them. I'd always been quite insular, had never had many friends. Kept my circle small and safe. I didn't know when my hiding myself away had started but I'd kept myself treading the same paths for years. I was heading towards my thirties and while I thought I'd been happy working at the pub, maybe all along inside I'd been waiting for Ezra?
Even if we did end up together finally, I needed to take stock of what I wanted out of life. Did I want to take a chance on a career within the food industry at last? Return to studies? It was time for me to think about who Lisa was.
By the time I eventually went into the Half Moon pub I was ready for Quinn to turn up. I needed a friend to confide in and maybe my best friend didn't have to be female?
He arrived just after eight. The quiz would be starting at half past, so the bar was busy with everyone getting what they needed for the duration of the quiz. When I eventually got around to serving him, I handed him his pint.
"It's on me."
"Thank you. What have I done to deserve this?"
"For a start you were willing to come here to listen to me tell you all about my long ongoing saga with Ezra."
"I'm inherently nosy."
"And also, you're going to tell me all about what is or isn't happening between you and Jules."
"She dismisses me. Full stop. I'm moving on."
"No," I said. "You can't. She needs you more than ever, she just doesn't realise it yet."
"Your boss is glaring at you."
"Shit. I'll be back. Oh, and by the way, I decided you're my new best friend."
"I'm sure Ezra will be delighted," he told me and then he grabbed a newspaper and sat at the end of the bar. It reminded me of Dale and how he used to sit there waiting for me. I wondered what Dale was doing now. I hoped he'd found someone who could love him like he needed, with no doubts.
"What can I get you?" I asked the next customer, and then I worked quickly and efficiently to keep Geoff sweet.
The quiz started, keeping Geoff busy, and so Quinn put down his paper. I’d get the odd person wanting a drink but mainly we'd be able to chat quietly while the quiz took place.
"Okay, you first. I'm a great listener. I want all of the details of you and Ezra. Now it becomes clear why you were renting that house."
"I was keeping an eye on the house rent free." I proceeded to tell Quinn the story of Ezra and me.
"Hmm, and so you're finally going to make a go of things?"
"I'm not sure," I sighed. "That's why I need someone to talk to."
"And why I've been promoted to new best friend. Go on then. What's holding you back?"
"I'm considering doing more with my catering qualifications. I'm not sure I'm satisfied being behind a bar anymore. Ezra says he's going to take a break, but I know he'll not be happy. He's too big to live a small life here. We're going to end up apart again, I just know it."
"So what?" Quinn shrugged surprising me.
"Pardon?"
He took a sip of his pint. "Seems to me that you're both trying to find the compromise in your lives and when it doesn't work you call it quits, but maybe you just have to live your lives as they are. My ex was in the army and we didn't see each other for months at a time. That was our normal. What's your normal? Maybe you do have months where it's video messaging and you're doing your own thing and you just make your peace with that and stop seeking some kind of fairy tale where you both miraculously become happy with the other's way of life."
Quinn's words had shocked me.
I'd always been looking for our fully together happy ever after, but he was right, not everyone lived that way.
"Get a nice house somewhere. Hell, get a few, Ezra can afford it. Be with each other when you can. Live your life when you can't."
"It sounds so simple when you put it like that."
"What's the point in making it complicated? If you love each other and you've let the last ten years pass you by because you couldn't see a way forward with anyone else then you need to either accept how it is and live like that or let it go for good. That's my opinion anyway."
I leaned over the bar and hugged him. "Thank you. I knew you were the right choice for best friend."
"You just make sure Ezra isn't going to punch me in my face for the position you've bestowed upon me, cos I'm too pretty for bruises."
I laughed. "Okay. Your turn. Tell me about Jules."
Quinn let out a heavy sigh. "There's not a lot to tell. I ask her out and she says no, but if we see each other there's always a vibe, or banter. But it's been months now and she's not changed her mind, so I was going to admit defeat. But now you say she might need me, so what's been happening?"
Another ten minutes passed while I got him up to date about Alice Waite. "And so Jules is at the premiere now because I figured she'd want to get away."
"Shit. She'll be even more closed off now. But it makes no difference. She just dismisses me and if her issues with her mother are now even more at the forefront, I'm guessing she'll be even more closed off to the idea of a date or a relationship with anyone. I need to face facts that she's not interested."
"Well why don't we see?" I suggested.
"Huh?"
"Friday night, I'm coming bowling. The idea is that me and Ezra are going to out ourselves to the family. But what if before that, I run a little scenario past Ez where me and you flirt up a storm and we see what Jules' reaction is to that? If she's not interested, then you'll know. If she reacts, especially once she realises me and Ezra are the item and you're just my bestie, well, there you go. You know to keep chipping away. And, as your best friend, I'll help by encouraging Jules to take a chance on going on a date with you."