Right then, I felt like I was.
I could hardly breathe when Scott moved over to me. He made no attempt to climb on top or to hurry me along. “Let’s take a minute to breathe.”
That was probably a good idea. Yes, breathing was important. It was, wasn’t it? I tried to catch mine while he stroked my face. I wasn’t sure where the other two were. I couldn’t hear them talking, and in those few moments, I only had eyes for Scott. He was the most gentle of the bunch, and yet they told me he was the only one of them to really see war.
How had he ended up being so sweet?
His mouth met mine, the kiss easy, just the way everything was with Scott. We kissed like that for long seconds. Quick pecks eventually gave way to longer caresses. I caught my breath. How was it possible to be this turned on again so quickly?
I knew the answer. It was because I needed to be with all three of them. I always had. From the moment they’d used their masks to get to me, I’d needed to have this. All three of them.
“Scott,” I begged him. “I need you.”
He smoothed my hair away from my face. “I know you do, sweetheart. I need you too. I always have. Give me a second to worship you.”
Scott traveled down my body and kissed me everywhere he stopped. The nipple of my left breast, my belly right above my pelvis, the top of my thigh. He was happy to use his tongue, too, something he proved even more when he pushed my thighs further about and tongued my clit. I moaned, the unexpected pleasure making me shudder. I hadn’t expected this, and I wasn’t sure if I was going to like it.
But it turned out I did. I really, really did.
I arched beneath his mouth, drawing him closer. “Scott.”
Much as I loved this, what I needed was completion. What I had to have was the bond of him inside of me. I needed that like I did breathing or my heart beating. It was essential. He nodded as though he understood. Whatever this attraction, this connection, between the three of us was, it was intense, and it had to be fulfilled.
He pushed inside of me, which was such a relief. I’d never felt so complete in my life. Full. And it was more than just the pleasure his cock gave me. There was just a rightness about it. As if my world had finally tilted onto its axis.
Scott moved in and out, stroking over my clit until I writhed beneath him. He moaned my name. It was a hot, somehow brutal sound, and it set me over the edge. I came, hard, exploding in a way I didn’t know was possible until that second. How had I so much inside of me waiting to give? I’d had no idea it existed.
He followed me. And there was just such happiness, I wasn’t sure how I’d ever lived without it before.
Seven
I bit into an apple—some things were the same, and there was peace in that—and watched the sun set on the horizon. The horizon was different. I couldn’t explain it exactly, but the sun setting looked different, as if the slope of the Earth that I was so familiar with had changed. Or maybe that was just me. I’d changed so profoundly that how I viewed the world had altered completely.
We sat staring at the changing colors.
Scott was on one side of me, Matthew on the other and Robert next to him. Matthew stroked his hand leisurely up and down my back. It was quiet, but I couldn’t leave it like that. I had a million questions, and since we’d just been practically compelled to what very well might have been public sex, I was going to start to ask them right this second.
I found my voice. “So clones, huh?”
Without stopping his slow stroke, Matthew answered me. “Yes. About one hundred years ago, some very wealthy scientists decided they were tired of training new soldiers and workers. They just made the same hundred versions over and over.”
That was so interesting and not at all farfetched to me. “I see. Okay. So the wealthy don’t get cloned? They still procreate?”
“Yes, they get to have babies. We’re sterile. Can’t do that. Clones aren’t made to procreate.” Scott lay back and stared up at the sky. “Your father comes from one of those families. But he fell in love with your mother and decided to work with the rebellion to save the babies being born by bringing them back in time. The babies of the poor people. He left everything for her.”
Robert nodded. “Yes. And something lured him back.”
“There’s something else.” Matthew sighed. “As you have experienced, we are all very attached to you. That is something that can happen with clones. We tend to focus on one person. It can happen that groups of clones focus on the same person. In our case, it seems it was all three of us instantly when we met you. Even though you were too young. So we behaved.”
That was so sweet, but the weirdness of this pushed that aside for a second. “You felt attached to me.” I had to repeat it to understand it.
“Yes.” Scott nodded fast. “And we don’t want anyone else to. It’s not unusual for groups here to do this, but you’re ours. You’re not on the open market for any idiot to attach.”
I snorted and then covered my mouth. I just had this vision of myself standing outside while a bunch of men sniffed at me to see if they wanted to attach. It was like something out of a book I’d read once. Back when I’d daydreamed in the hospital, I’d thought that sounded sort of romantic. It wasn’t seeming like that right now.
“What does it mean to belong to you?” That word was a little bit too close to the love, honor, and obey nonsense that I heard at weddings sometimes. It was the o word I didn’t like. As my stepfather could attest, I’d never been particularly good at obeying anything, let alone anyone.
Robert grinned at me. “It’s more like we belong to you. For the rest of our lives, we will want only you and your happiness. Chaney, I have some guilt that we didn’t discuss this ahead of time with you. I wanted to. But then you and Scott…and it all spiraled. I’m not sure how I could have borne it if you’d said no to us, but I would have found a way because I’m not into emotional manipulation. Maybe we would have loved you from afar.” He looked away. “I suppose we could still do that.”
I reached across Matthew to grip Robert’s arm. “I’m not asking for that, okay? I was the girl who got locked away because I refused to denounce you. I wanted that as much as you did, and if it’s some strange…I don’t know…pheromone thing that binds us together or something, I just want to know what I’m dealing with. Not to get out of having it at all.”
He took my hand in his, linking our fingers together. “Your father is going to be a problem. He wants you. It’s like…he never made a move for you because maybe he couldn’t, but now that we did, he’s going to make every attempt to steal you from us.”
“I don’t understand why. He faked his death, found his way back here. He must have the technology.”
Scott grinned. “They did. But then I destroyed it. The last thing I did before I managed to get the fuck out of there and hide in this colony. It just seemed to me that if someone had taken the chance to make sure that the babies of this life survived, then they should do so, or at least not get brought back to that life. I didn’t know about your dad. He was just another one of them to me. One of the ones who enslaved us.”
I hated that thought. “My father and people like him hurt you.” I didn’t make that a question, it wasn’t one. The answer was written all over his face.
It was Matthew who answered. “You can’t hurt a clone. We’re not thought to be real enough to matter.”
Their pain in that instant became my own. This was a lonely world for them. They were second-class citizens who were trying to do good things in this colony they’d formed that kept them away from the people who would use them for their own needs. I forced myself to swallow. “So, um, will I see other versions of you guys running around? Is that how it works?”
“You could.” Matthew smiled. “It’s possible, but there aren’t any other versions of us who live here. Most clones don’t try to go this far out. They try to stay closer to the main world. That way, they can get more supplies without having to be de
pendent on trade and farming. Or they work as mercenaries. To be as far out as we are, you have to have pretty much written off ever living in the main world again. That and, as a habit, they tend not to replicate the clones at the same time. They don’t want us bonding with each other.” He got to his feet. “Come on. Let’s show you where you’re going to live.”
Oh, that sounded like a good idea. We all got up and got dressed when he said that. It was clear Robert was usually in charge, but Matthew had his moments where they deferred to him. And if the transport was any indication, Scott sometimes got his way as well. It was like they were a pretty good group all the time.
And I was now theirs. Or they were mine. Maybe that was how all relationships worked. I’d just never been in one before to notice.
We walked for a while until we reached a bunch of row houses. They’d told me that they were small enough that the establishment ignored them. Would it stay that way, or was I going to bring trouble down on their heads?
Would they still have done this if they’d realized how much trouble I was going to be? “What happens if my father comes here for me?”
Scott shook his head. “Let us worry about that. Now that we know what’s happening, he won’t find us so easy to get the jump on. They made clones because we were the best at what we did. We chose to escape that because we wanted a chance to be people, to live a good life. That doesn’t mean that we don’t remember what we used to do.”
Robert and Matthew made long eye contact over that remark. Scott had destroyed their enemies’ ability to time travel. What else could he do?
My mind was so filled with those kinds of questions that I didn’t pay attention to where we went. I wasn’t sure I could find my way again if I’d needed to or even what anything looked like. I was going to have to be shown around once more. I forced my attention from matters of death to the present. At least I could take in what the area where they lived was like.
Small houses that I would have called bungalows lined the area, one after another. However, there were touches of individuality to them. Some of them were painted yellow, others beige, one blue. Some had plants, others didn’t. The air was humid, and a mosquito buzzed my ear. I was glad to see some things hadn’t changed. The bugs remained the same.
A random thought struck me. “Are there still alligators?”
Matthew nodded. “Yep.”
We’d had one in our pool once. My stepfather had to call animal control to come and get it. But before they’d arrived, it had swum around in the pool like it lived there. We’d all been absolutely terrified of it. In the battle between man and alligator, a weaponless man lost to the scary creatures.
“But not here.” Robert opened the door to their house. It was pretty standard looking. Nothing about it made it unique, like no one had taken the time to decorate it at all. I stopped. I’d assumed this was their house. Did they all live together, or was I just staying here? Like this was my house, and the reason it was not unique was because no one lived in it? Or did I have roommates I didn’t know? These were all questions I should have asked.
“Who lives here?” I looked between them.
Scott put his arm around me. “We do. We’re roommates. A unit. And we chose to stay together because we support each other. There is plenty of space here. So we could have our own home. You can have one, too, and maybe you’ll want that, but we thought while you were adjusting you could stay here.”
That was a great idea. I didn’t relish the idea of being in a new place—hell, time period—all by myself right now. I’d never lived alone. I might be really bad at it. Like what if…what if I got locked in a room and couldn’t get out? Could that happen? Oh boy. I was on my way to a panic, and I wasn’t a panicky person.
A big empty room was in front of me with doors that led to four other rooms. Were they also empty? Did the guys have a kitchen? A sitting area? How did people afford such things here in the future? I felt like I’d put on a Halloween costume and transported to a land of pretend where I had no idea of the rules, and yet was expected to participate and somehow know what I was doing.
Scott stepped in. “Don’t worry. It’s not really empty.”
Looked pretty vacant to me. “How do you mean?”
“Human beings had to become really space-conscious for a while. The food and lumber shortages that happen about fifty years after you left made it hard to have housing. We had to do with less space. And while that was true, we also had great technical abilities.” He tapped over his heart. “We could clone for goodness sake.” He winked, and Matthew groaned but then laughed. “So,” he pulled a device out of his pocket, “we use furniture in this room whenever we need to and disappear it when we don’t. So need a kitchen?”
Suddenly a whole bunch of things appeared in front of my eyes, and a kitchen took up the empty space we’d walked into. A stove, I recognized. A table, chairs, counter tops. Something that might be a dishwasher but was narrow where I was used to them being sort of wide. The walls became a peach color and light music sounded in the room. Was that New Orleans jazz?
I gasped and stepped forward, running my hands over the counter. It was solid—not a hologram that was just light and a recording. That was granite. Or a close facsimile. I could actually lean against it and not fall through.
They all grinned at me while Scott hit another button. “Living room.”
The furniture abruptly changed. Now, we had a living room set. Couches, they were blue, and a coffee table in the middle.
“Game room…”
I held up my hand. “Don’t change it yet. I’m digesting. It’s a lot.”
Matthew nodded. “Understandable. We had to go through adjustments, too. We lived in a clone world where we barely had anything. To have this, our own stuff we were allowed to own? It was huge. Come sit down.”
I just had a quick question before we went on. “Bathroom? Do you use that out here, too?”
“No,” Robert pointed to one of the doors. “That stays solidly where it is. The kitchen equipment hooks to the plumbing when it appears, but the bathroom is always connected. Privacy and all that. I suppose we could have changing bathrooms but that seems a waste. No, that’s in there. Would you like a minute to use it?”
I nodded. “Yes, I would.”
It wasn’t that I actually needed the bathroom. I didn’t have to pee or anything, but I could close that door and just breathe. I walked past them, hoping they didn’t notice my panic or that they wouldn’t remark on it if they did. As gently and calmly as I could muster it, I closed the door and sank to the floor.
Okay. I had made this choice. It hadn’t gone exactly the way I wanted it to, but I wasn’t having my own version of buyer’s remorse. No, I wanted to be here. I simply hadn’t thought out how strange—bizarre, really—this would be.
I stared at the bathroom. It was clean. Thank goodness for that. I wasn’t sure what I would have done if they’d been messy men. Everything looked spotless, so they’d either cleaned up in preparation for me possibly arriving or one, if not all of them, was a person who straightened up. I was, and it would make it easier to not be alone in that. I didn’t want to be anyone’s maid or mama.
I jarred at that thought. They didn’t have moms. They’d been cloned, and I’d just left my own back in my time, never to see her again.
Tears rushed down my cheeks. She’d not been fabulous, but it turned out she was a lot more complicated than I’d realized. Were people always more three-dimensional than we gave them credit for? No one was really just one thing or another.
I put my head in my hands.
There was a toilet. It looked like my own. I would know how to use it. A shower and a bathtub. I could have cried at that alone. I loved baths. What if they only had showers in this time period? That would have been a loss. I hadn’t had one in years. The hospital was a shower place. I’d dreamed of luxuriating in a bathtub again. A sink and towels. Check and check. I could make this work. I would.
/> I got to my feet and cracked open the door. “Is it okay if I take a bath?”
They were all seated on the couch when I came out, but Matthew jumped to his feet. “Sure. Absolutely. Take your time. Sounds like a great idea.”
Phew. I’d have been really embarrassed if they said no. “No water restrictions or anything?”
“No, we have plenty in the colony.” Robert smiled. “Good question though. Oh, and the bedrooms are out here too. We cleared out the one in the middle for you. That’s yours.”
That left only two others. “Does that mean I evicted one of you from your room?”
“That’s our pleasure.” Color tinted Robert’s cheeks, which told me that he’d been the one to give his up. “Don’t worry.”
“Well,” I smiled, “maybe you’ll just have to rotate sharing with me.”
Scott stretched out his legs. “You really are incredible, Chaney. Thanks for being ours.”
They’d never had anything permanent. Even their furniture came and went as it was useful or not. But I belonged to them, and them to me.
That was sounding better and better. As it turned out, I’d never had anything real either. My own parents were not who I thought they were.
Not even close.
It was like we all wore a costume all of the time.
The water was warm, and as I sank my body into it, exhaustion struck me hard. When was the last time I’d slept? Well, I’d been knocked out. But really slept?
Maybe it had been years.
In fact, it might have been my sixteenth birthday, back before the world decided I was crazy and needed to be put away. Sure. That wasn’t a good word. But that was how they’d treated me. As though I’d lost all credibility, and no one could even consider the possibility that I wasn’t lying.
I closed my eyes. My tears leaked out the sides, but they stopped a lot sooner than I’d have imagined they would. Then again, I’d never been a weeper. It solved nothing.
Would my father come after me here, or was he done with me officially now?
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