In my tribe, the bone was a powerful object both respected and feared. It kept all the secrets of the dead, all the mysteries of the land, and the history of my tribe. If it was pointed at you, you obeyed its command. Those who dishonored the tribe were cursed by the bone witch and cast out of the community.
I leaned my head back against the wood of the rocking wagon. None of my tribe challenged the witch out of fear she’d shake her bone again. Once was a warning or command. Twice was a curse or banishment. Neither of which I dared risk. She might have been dead, her and the bone no longer of this earth, but they both possessed a power beyond the physical world. Curses stretched across any time and space, even beyond death, and I wasn’t carrying one into the afterlife.
My attention turned to my ancestors. Fuck, their presence was not a good sign. Lately, they’d only turned up when something dire was about to happen, like before the mothman was murdered by Devon, a prisoner who had set Astra up for the fall. I didn’t want to hear their somber warnings when my two friends, and the girl who intrigued me, were facing execution by scumbag Unseelies.
“He is important,” the bone witch hissed at me. “We brought him to you.”
“This guy?” I stretched my open palm at him. “Why?”
All my teammates turned to stare at me. Knoxe crunched his knuckles, Tor grinned, amused as always, Astra blinked, and Pascal’s eyes brightened with intrigue.
Shit. I’d said that aloud. Forgotten they couldn’t see my ancestors. I rubbed my forehead. I could see them because of my connection to the spirit world. A gift some in my community had. A talent also possessed by my father’s people.
Pascal ran his hand through one of my ancestors and closed his eyes. It made me wonder if he sensed them somehow with his magickal gift.
Astra glanced at the spot where the bone witch stood and then back at me. “Raze, who are you talking to?”
“He’s communing with his ancestors.” Pascal trembled as his hand drifted through the former chief. I’d told him once about my community and why I went outside once a week for private time to connect with the spirits.
Knoxe slid out of his seat, ending the conversation. He held onto the side of the wagon to steady himself, glaring down at the fae. “I want answers, now. Start with your name and how the fuck the guard didn’t recognize you.”
We all turned to the prisoner.
“The name’s Drezlyn.” His face brightened at his newfound freedom. “Raenyn’s been dead three months.”
“Fuck.” Tor stomped a foot.
Knoxe’s neck flushed red, and he grabbed the prisoner by the throat. “Do you realize how much you've fucked us?”
“Knoxe!” Astra grabbed his forearm but couldn't pry him off.
I stood and clasped his arm, wrenching it off with ease. He wasn't going to take this out on the fae. Not after the bone witch’s warning. Which I’d discuss with her after we settled this matter.
“We need him.” I left out the part about the spirits because they already thought I was crazy enough with my practices. Connecting to the earth with my bare feet among one of them.
Knoxe blinked at me.
“No. We need to return him before we’re really fucked.” Pascal again with his rules. Screw the rules. Rules were meant to be broken. I didn’t live by the Guardians’ rules.
“No one’s getting fucked,” Drezlyn said. “Except, perhaps me, once you release me, and I find a pretty fae whore.”
Urges. Boy, did I know about them. Fought them every day. My gaze flicked to Astra. Mine. Mine. Mine. The woman called to my beast, and it scratched again, roaring to claim her, mate her. I wasn’t sure if my beast needed release, just a good time and then maybe it’d settle down.
Sure, I got horny, jerked off a few times a week, but I’d never had these strange and intense feelings of desire to get her on all fours and mount her. Feelings that shot up one hundred-fold since she got back from the fae realm. Knoxe had marked her. Claimed her. Touched what belonged to my beast. I could smell him on her. I wanted to rip off his head for touching her. But I’d take out that anger on the bastard fae that harmed her.
Fuck. I rubbed the back of my neck. Whatever was going on with me made me like a wolf on heat, and I was confused as hell.
Nope. Not going there. She was off limits for more reasons than one. It was bad enough she caught me tearing a vampire’s head off. Woman held my balls in her hand, and at any moment, she could reveal my secret. Best thing to do was forget her and get my shit together. Get out of the Guardians and restore my freedom. Save my tribal spirit and protect my people from the demon plaguing us with storms, floods and famine.
“Keep dreaming, pal,” Tor said to the prisoner.
Dreaming. I’d been dreaming about her. Every f-u-c-k-i-n-g night. Couldn’t get a good night’s sleep. Was driving me crazy. Munyara, I had to get her out of my head.
Drezlyn’s smile promised deadly secrets. “I’ve no need to dream. You will release me once I tell you what I know.”
I scoffed. This fae was pretty sure of himself, and I was at a loss as to what he thought might be useful to us. He could be a good liar. I tested it, inhaling deep, committing his scent to memory. The crispness of his scent indicated he spoke the truth.
“You’re in no position to negotiate with us.” Knoxe loomed over him.
I stood up and placed a hand on Knoxe’s arm. “Listen to what he has to say Knoxe.” This was my subtle way of communicating that the prisoner spoke the truth without revealing my abilities. Most of the time Knoxe heeded my advice. Most.
Everyone stared at me again, Knoxe the hardest.
Tor’s eyes narrowed. “You gone soft or something?”
He had a point. I didn’t usually step in to defend a prisoner unless things got out of hand. But this was my friends’ lives at stake. The life of the woman my beast had claimed… even if I hadn’t acted on it yet when I needed to stay the hell away. Still, my beast would protect its territory at all costs.
“Speak,” I growled at the fae.
Drezlyn glared at me, eyes dark with defiance. “We have too much time on our hands in the cell and shared many stories. But none as interesting as what landed Raenyn in Talnok.” He paused as if gathering himself. “He always said the Rarknul would come for him.”
His words captured Knoxe’s attention. “Why?”
“Because the Rarknul killed his daughter for a poor crop yield when the weather turned for the worse.”
The fae mafia were notorious for their cruelty. Failure was not tolerated. They demanded absolute loyalty and obedience.
Drezlyn’s gaze drifted to the prison in the distance behind us. “I’ll tell you everything you want to know so long as you agree to set me free.”
Astra
God, I can’t believe Knoxe considered bargaining with this imposter after he tricked us into getting him out of Talnok. Any further trade could screw us over and lead us into a trap. The thought ramped up my anxiety, and I tugged my uniform over and over.
“Hey, stop that.” Tor grabbed both my wrists, running his thumbs up the inside. Not even his firm but soft touch helped to calm my mind. He didn’t understand all my quirks and why I had to perform them to release pent up angst.
Pascal gave me a solemn smile. Only he understood what I went through because he was also on the spectrum.
Dammit. Why had the angels chosen me as one of the Guild’s warriors to protect Earth from supernatural threats? I couldn’t control my anxiety, my Aspergers, when new situations arose. Something that happened all the time when on missions.
“I can’t help it.” I rubbed my fingers on my palm, because that was all I could do in his grasp.
“Take her back to the Guardians,” Knoxe interrupted.
His eyes darkened with concern. He thought I couldn’t handle this. Hadn’t wanted me to go on this mission in the first place. Tried to wrap me in cotton wool and protect me like I was some damsel in distress.
Shit, he was
right. My brain went into a spin sometimes, couldn’t handle or process the unexpected circumstances. But I didn’t want that part of me to define me. I didn’t want it to beat me. And I certainly didn’t want to let my fear of the Rarknul or what they did to me control me either. Missions were the only way to earn points to get out of the Guardians early. I wanted to get out so badly.
No. I’d stick this mission out. Finish it. Hopefully alive and able to tell the tale.
“No.” The words tumbled out and fast. “No way.”
Astra Nomical was no quitter. More than that, I didn’t want to be alone, especially if this was my last twenty-four hours. I wanted to spend it with the two men in the same predicament as me. The men who’d claimed my heart. One gave it easily and freely. The other held back on me for some reason.
Then there was Pascal and Raze. Things were even more complicated with my strange and unexplained feelings for Raze, the way he called to something hidden and dark inside me. Or how Pascal and I shared a kinship on a deeper level. How I wanted to protect him. Wanted to be close to him too, but would have to climb a wall so tall, so insurmountable to get to him, and I didn’t think I could do it.
Oh God. I’d never really thought about my life until I stared down death. It brought everything into clearer focus. These men. They possessed the power to devastate me. And I hated that they held it over me. Hated that my heart and mind battled each other. Hated that they made my decision to appeal my sentence even harder. Hated that they’d make it unbearable and impossible for me to leave.
Fuck. I had to take control of this situation before my anxiety owned me. Destroyed me. Turned me into a stark, raving mad woman, who’d end up locked up in the Guardians for life.
I rounded on Drezlyn. “Talk and fast.” My desperation panic grew by the second. “Get to the part that concerns Raenyn and why the fae want him.” I already knew the answer but asked it as a test.
Knoxe wiped his mouth and glanced back at the prison shrinking in the distance behind us. Not enough space between us to ensure our safety if the alarms were set off. The fae could ride out on their giant cave bats and bring their winged hunting hounds to pursue us.
“Seven moon cycles ago,” Drezlyn said. “Raenyn poisoned the Rarknul’s pumpkins out of revenge, and then hid the heirloom seeds to ruin them. A bargaining chip if you will.”
That was brave. From what I’d experienced and read of the Rarknul they were dishonorable, merciless bastards. Exactly why I never wanted to encounter them ever again.
Knoxe brushed me as he came to stand beside me. He gave me a rare and fleeting smile as if he appreciated what I’d done. I couldn’t smile back. Not when so much was on the line.
Drezlyn glanced down at his hands in a way that suggested he might have met a similar fate as Raenyn. “To keep his family safe, he handed himself into the authorities for working with the Rarknul, to hide inside Talnok, where they couldn’t get him.”
Knoxe pressed a fist to his mouth then moved it away. “What information do you have to bargain for your freedom?”
“I can take you to the heirloom seeds.” Finally, what we needed. With those seeds, the Rarknul could replant their dying pumpkins. “But you must swear on two things.”
“What’s that?” Knoxe glanced at me and the rest of the team.
Drezlyn lifted his head higher. “To set me free once I take you to the location. And refuse a contract to hunt me if one is put on my head.”
Knoxe’s face twisted into a pensive mess as he stared at the ground, probably contemplating the deal, running through the scenario, what could go wrong, back up plans. The man was born to be a commander.
He ran his hands over the top of his neon orange hair. I bet he tortured himself over getting us into this mess. But he wasn’t to blame at all. I hadn’t filled out my form properly. The insurance debt was mine to bear. But Knoxe accepted responsibility. It was like the guy wanted to punish himself. I could see it tearing him up inside, and it broke me. I just wanted to take it away.
“Let’s do it,” Raze insisted. But it wasn’t his choice to make.
As team leader, Knoxe chose which contracts we took out to hunt criminal supernaturals. His word went, and as soldiers of the Guild, we had to obey or be stuck locked up in prison for the rest of our sentence. I would rather have been free to go on missions whenever possible than be caged.
Tor shook his head. “How do we know that you won’t lead us astray? That he knows where the seeds are?”
Good questions. I didn’t completely trust this guy.
Drezlyn glared at him. “Believe me or don’t. Raenyn confessed to me before he died. This knowledge is the only thing keeping his family alive.”
I still wasn’t entirely convinced, but we didn’t have much else to go on. We didn’t have time to try all avenues. This was our only option, and I was willing to try if it saved us. I had to cling to the hope we weren’t completely doomed.
“We have to take Drezlyn back,” Pascal countered.
Knoxe rubbed his forehead, his patience wearing thin. “Fuck. Not again.” In stressful moments, he lost tolerance for Pascal and his different set of morals and values.
The others didn’t understand that Pascal and I saw the world like through a different lense. Where they saw greys and colors amid the black and white, we were rigid, viewing just the light and dark. There was no in-between for us. That was just the way our brains worked. In this case, Pascal insisted on the right thing to do, and I disagreed, leaning toward the wrong… and only to save the lives of Tor, Knoxe and I.
Mine and Pascal’s similarities extended to anxiety, social awkwardness, speaking our minds, and our needs for structure, and discipline. I liked my food set a certain way on my plate, my food neatly cut into squares, each food in separate piles. Same with him. Order. Rules. Stability. But he couldn’t read emotions well, didn’t understand jokes and humor, whereas I was a little better in that regard. That was where I could help out.
I crossed to where Pascal sat, his attention on the forest closing in on us as we entered it. “No, it’s too dangerous, Pascal.”
I had to make him understand somehow when he didn’t seem to grasp the severity of the situation. He might not understand emotions or even people, but he understood notes, chords, frequencies, and I’d make him understand that.
Lightly, I took his hand, and he jerked free. But I wasn’t giving up. I had to convince him to see reason. Trying again, I gripped the tips of his fingers. His eyes widened, his body tensed, but he didn’t shake me off.
“We could get caught,” I explained. “Captured by the Talnok guards or punished by the Guardians. You don’t want us to get locked away do you?”
Something threaded through my chest, my heart, my head. Brilliant blue strands, like lose piano strings, seeking to tune themselves to the right chord. Pascal’s magick; reading me, interpreting me. I almost moaned at the intensity, every note, rhythm, and pound of base touched a part of me. It felt like the whisper of the wind in my hair, the caress of a thousands fingers, the roll of waves over my skin. I opened myself more to his song, and it stirred a soft and gentle orchestra in me, like the sounds of fucking angels.
But when it hit my dread, the cords turned cold, sticky and lost their brilliance. His song turned as dark as my trepidation. Thumping drums rose in my chest. Gentle strokes of the violin bow twisted into whining strings, clarinets screeched, piano keys adopted a deep and dull tone, everything losing its tune. This was what it was like for him. Every emotion and thought a musical note, some light, some deeper and some downright dark and heavy.
He pulled away, stripping me of his touch and power, leaving me empty. “I don’t want that. I don’t want you to die.”
Good. Finally, he understood.
“Neither do I.” I smiled at him. “
“We’re not gonna die.” A thick silence descended on us at Knoxe’s growl.
“This is a no brainer for me,” Tor said.
“We ca
n’t harm him,” Raze added.
I glanced at Knoxe. “Our only option is to retrieve the heirloom seeds, take some to the Rarknul.”
“No,” Tor cut in. “We take an insurance policy. We keep some seeds to ensure the Rarknul don’t dispose of us once our task is complete.”
I agreed and nodded. So did Knoxe and the rest of the team.
Drezlyn took this all in with a cocky smile.
Finally, Knoxe’s gaze returned to Drezlyn. “Take us to the heirloom seeds. You have our word that we will set you free.”
Pascal
I shuddered from the dark and ominous notes Astra had shown me. Couldn’t get rid of them. They’d tainted me, my harmonies, and I couldn’t handle it. Couldn’t handle the idea of her dying. I needed her. She was my connection to being more normal. I rocked back and forth, squeezing my eyes shut, fighting the cacophony. My fingers raked down the wood of the seat, and I winced at the grating sound.
“He’s getting worse.” Astra’s voice. Sweet, light, melodic, like the chorus of heaven, pulled me from the darkness. But not all the way. Its grip on me refused to let go. “He won’t stop rocking.”
We had to find the pumpkin seeds. Had to save her. I couldn’t bear the chords of her pain. They tore me up inside, spoiled my melody. I got lost in her black tune. Drowned in it. Everything darkened around me.
“Buddy?” Tor. Calling to me. His voice far away in the cave that trapped me.
“Pascal.” Astra again. Her voice getting closer. A light in the darkness. I reached for her. “Listen to me.”
“Yes.” I blinked and concentrated on her until her face came into focus. Her blue eyes were dark. Shadows crept over her face. She pressed her lips tight together. “What is it?”
She replied to me, but I didn’t hear it. Suddenly I became aware of new sounds surrounding us as the wagon rolled through the forest. Animals growling and hooting in the darkness of the wood. A mist swarmed like a carpet on the ground. Pale blue eyes blinked in the foliage, in the trees, the trunks, the shrubs. All the sensations struck my senses, forcing me into overload. I couldn’t handle them. I rocked harder, faster.
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