Keiran slowly made his way back to Cherisse. Maybe she hadn’t seen it yet. They followed each others’ personal accounts, and he followed her Sweethand account, but he didn’t know if she followed DK’s. And the chances of her following her father’s company on there was hopefully nil.
But the moment he saw her, the sinking feeling in his stomach escalated. She was with Remi, head bent over her phone.
Please, God.
“Cherisse.”
Her head popped up, and Keiran wanted to smooth away the frown, but touching her right now wouldn’t help anything.
“I was tagged in a post. I guess because people remember I was involved in the original video. So, mind explaining what the fuck is this shit?” She thrust her phone at him, but he didn’t look at the screen. “You don’t even have to look at it, do you? Because you already know what it is.”
“Yes, but it’s not what you think.”
“Yeah? So, you two didn’t set up this whole fight as some publicity stunt for your track? While clueless me acts a fool worried about your ass? Because that’s what I think. God, did you play me so I’d have sex with you that night?”
“Cherisse, no. I swear to you, I would never. Sean and his publicist literally ambushed me the day after the fight and told me this is how it was gonna be. How we’d spin it. I was against it totally, but I had to consider the artiste, Sheila. She didn’t deserve to get caught up in Sean and I’s mess, so I went with it. I’ve been trying to tell you, but...” What excuse could her really give?
Cherisse folded her arms, a hand squeezing at her bicep. “How long have you and Sean been working together?”
“Don’t say it like that. There wasn’t some nefarious plan like you’re making it sound. I didn’t...”
“How long?”
“I got called into the meeting and given the edict the same day we were to meet up for our first planning session. It’s why I ran late,” he admitted.
Cherisse’s jaw clenched, and the hand squeezed tighter. If she wanted to slap him, punch him, he’d accept it all. “That was weeks ago.”
“I know. It’s just we didn’t exactly care for each other then, so I figured—”
“That Cherisse was smart,” she cut him off. “I wonder where she went.” Her laugh was bitter as hell, and Remi, who’d remained silent next to her the entire time, placed her hand on Cherisse’s shoulder but continued to say nothing because she trusted Cherisse to handle her shit. While he hadn’t, he realized. He’d used all those damn excuses, telling himself he was protecting her when he’d been trying to stop this very moment. Trying to not have Cherisse look at him like this. Like she didn’t know who the hell he truly was.
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to be upset.”
“Well, I’m fucking upset!” She unfolded her arms and drew closer, lowered her voice. “How fucking dare you try to manage my emotions for me? That’s not how this is supposed to work. You tell me and allow me to feel whatever, not try to protect me from it because of some misguided notion. I get to decide how I react to shit. Not you.”
“You’re right. I screwed up. Again.”
“Actions, Keiran. Speak so much louder. How many times are you going to say sorry before the word means nothing? You should go. I need to think.”
He nodded. “Okay.”
The masochistic part of him clung to her last words. If she needed to think, that meant there was hope she’d forgive him, right?
“And Keiran? Consider this a ‘don’t call us, we’ll call you’ situation.”
Well, then. That message was received loud and clear.
CHERISSE
“Fuck!”
Aunt Lucia, who stood nearby, looked scandalized as Cherisse grabbed a bunch of napkins to clean up the mess of her spilled drink. It was either cry or curse. The cursing seemed like the better option because she refused to cry. It was her birthday, and she could cry if she wanted to, but dammit, she would not.
“Okay, let’s go inside,” Remi suggested. There’d been no “I told you so” after Keiran’s exit, and Cherisse was grateful for that. She couldn’t handle that being thrown in her face right now.
“What’s going on?” Ava appeared, concern etched on her face. She’d been the most pleased to learn about her and Keiran.
Cherisse shook her head, feeling the burn rising in her throat as she tried to swallow back the tears. She didn’t want to say. Didn’t want to admit how foolish she’d been allowing herself to take a chance on Keiran.
God dammit, they couldn’t even last a few hours. Why did she ever think this was a good idea?
Ava grabbed her arm, steering her away from the noisy chatter, music, and her mother’s hawk-like gaze, into her bedroom. “Sit,” she commanded.
“But...”
Ava pointed to the bed. Remi, who’d followed behind, also sat. “What the hell happened? I don’t know what’s going on with you, but listen, if the stress is becoming too much, tell me. I’ll find someone else to do the desserts. Might be cutting it close, but I’m sure I can figure something out.”
“What?” Cherisse gaped up at her sister. “You don’t want me to do the cake and desserts anymore?” Her stomach churned. She couldn’t take Ava firing her from that major task, on top of everything else.
“No, no,” Ava said, firmly. “It’s not that I don’t want you to do it, but if you’re doing this only because you think that’s what I want and not what you want to do, then you don’t have to. I don’t want you to feel forced into this just because we’re sisters.”
“No, I want to. I swear.”
Ava eased down next to her. “So, what’s going on? Talk to me.”
Cherisse plucked at the sheets. Her sister’s old room hadn’t changed much from when they were growing up. Photos of her life unfolding scattered across the corkboard she had tacked to the wall. There were ones of them as children. Ones with their parents. Ava with her friends. With her fellow teachers and students. Ava and Eric. She figured out of everything Ava would take when she moved in with Eric, it would be that.
“It’s Keiran.”
“Oh?”
She spilled everything. The video, how it all just made her feel so shitty.
“Wait, wait, wait!” Ava interjected. “Keiran and Sean purposefully planned that fight?”
“No, he says it wasn’t planned, but he could’ve told me all about it the minute he found out they were gonna spin it like it was planned. I thought he was different, is all. I thought I could do this with him, but maybe he’s not really the guy I thought.”
“Do you truly believe he kept all that from you for his benefit? Or maybe he did because he didn’t want to hurt you.”
“That’s the problem! He did it for himself, not me. Not really. He didn’t want me to get angry and end it.” She grasped Ava’s hand. “What’s your secret? You and Eric make this whole thing look easy. What should I do?”
Ava busted out laughing. “Easy? Oh, no, honey. I’m glad we’ve given off this illusion of perfection or whatever, but not even close. Let me tell you a secret. Eric and I broke up two years into our relationship. For like a week, but the worst week of my life, I swear.”
“What?” She hadn’t gotten a whiff of anything like that in the four years of them being together.
“Oh, yeah. He, out of the blue, proposed, and I said no. Which, of course, became this whole big thing of him thinking I didn’t want to be with him when I did. Just...we’d never even discussed marriage at that point. We’d both just been going with the flow. I wasn’t ready, and I freaked out. I started thinking he’d just say to hell with this, with us, with me because I’d said no. Thank God he hadn’t done some big splashy proposal.” She smiled faintly. “Turns out, he felt pressured by his parents to propose. They’d given him this whole ‘if you can’t see yourself marrying her now, then why are you even together’ speech, and that sparked off a whole other thing where I was all, ‘I want you
to want to marry me. Not because other people think that’s where we should be right now.’ It was a giant mess.”
“Holy shit. Wait. Was this that week you demanded we have that pizza and wine weekend?” She distinctly recalled Ava being insistent about the pizza and drinks. “You told me that was work stress-related.”
Ava shrugged. “I lied, obviously. That week was hard. But he realized how the proposal was just a big no when we hadn’t even talked about marriage or children, and he’d just assumed, let his parents get into his head. I mean, I wanted those things, just not right then. And here we are.” She squeezed Cherisse’s hand. “My point is, I can’t tell you what to do. What to want. You might think you don’t know, but I’m saying you do. Don’t let other people dictate your relationship. Any relationship, for that matter. And realize people are going to mess up because they’re scared. I’m not saying you have to forgive Keiran. That’s your call. But think hard on whether you’re letting your past with Sean color things with anyone you could potentially have something with.”
“I’m pissed off at him, yeah,” Cherisse admitted. “I just need to decide how I feel.”
Ava patted her hand. “Well, then. Sort it out. Just don’t make a scene at my wedding.”
“I promise I won’t. You know I’m not about the drama,” Cherisse assured Ava. She had some things to ponder on. “And I’m sorry I’ve been the worst maid of honor ever. I’ll do better.”
“Just make sure I don’t pull a runaway bride, and we’re good.” Ava kissed her cheek and pulled Cherisse to her feet. “For what it’s worth, Eric’s been taking bets on you and Keiran forever. So, if it doesn’t work out in the end, I get to keep my money. I thought for sure he’d won when Keiran showed up, but it’s all still in the air now, isn’t it? It’s not like Eric needs any more dollars.”
Remi snorted.
“Wait.” Cherisse looked at Ava aghast. “You bet against us?”
Ava smirked. “I figured you two disliked each other too much. Should’ve known that would be grounds for some good old hate sex, at least.”
Cherisse rolled her eyes. She had to get this whirl of emotions under control. Focus on the wedding. Maybe she could sort out the Keiran mess along the way.
Chapter 33
Keiran
CHERISSE’S VOICE ECHOED around the studio, and Keiran realized he’d hit an all-new low, sitting here, listening to Cherisse’s vocals on that track when he could be doing anything else. The new track with Sheila and Sean had been well received, and even though his personal life was currently in shambles, his professional one was moving along smoothly. He hadn’t reached out to her since her birthday party, as per her wishes, but he’d almost sent tons of messages that bordered on begging. That for sure wouldn’t have solved anything and would just further aggravate Cherisse.
He had to give her space, and if she decided she wanted nothing to do with him, it was her call. What he needed to do was build some sort of fortification around himself before the rehearsal dinner because otherwise, he was likely to throw himself at her feet, a sobbing mess. He’d held back tears enough for one day. But it was all his damn fault, so he deserved the burning eyes and pounding headache. Trying to stem tears took a lot out of a person.
He stared hard at his phone as the vocals died away. What if he just sent a quick message making sure she was okay? Because that would go over so well when he was the reason she wasn’t okay in the first place.
He rubbed at his throbbing head. Just let it be.
He had a best man speech to finalize. He should focus on that. His gift for the bride and groom had been sorted, and Keiran allowed himself a small grin. He’d more than nailed it. The urge to text Cherisse, tease her with that knowledge, made his fingers twitch towards the phone, but he forced his hand into a fist.
No. Just stop. You are pathetic.
Not so easy. Not with the wedding looming in the coming week. But he had to try.
“So, this is where the magic happens?”
Keiran nearly tipped backwards, so lost in thought he hadn’t heard anyone come into the studio, and he certainly didn’t expect to see Remi here. He righted himself and turned the chair to face her, heart racing. Had Cherisse sent Remi to end it? Was she that disgusted with him? No. Cherisse wasn’t a coward like him. She would have come herself.
Remi peered down at him. “Relax, I’m not here to assassinate you or anything.” She tilted her head as she leaned in to look at his face, her mass of curls nearly brushing his thigh. “Have you been crying?” she asked.
“What? You think it makes me less of a man?”
Remi sucked her teeth and walked over to the couch to sit. She crossed her legs, eyes fixed on him. “Don’t even try that shit with me. I don’t care if you were crying. In fact, you should be bawling your eyes out.”
“So, you’re here to witness my misery? Great. Take a pic, it’ll last longer.”
“I’m here because you two need to get your shit together. Don’t get me wrong, I love reaping the benefits of Cherisse’s emotional bakefest, but—” She held up her index finger. “There’s only so much cake even I can eat. You need to fix this.”
“What? I’m respecting her need for space.”
Remi sighed like she was completely exasperated with him. He was confused, had expected a cuss out for hurting Cherisse, but Remi’s reaction wasn’t aligning with what he knew about her. Fiercely protective of her friends, Keiran had been hearing Cherisse and Remi refer to each other as platonic soulmates forever.
So why was Remi going easy on him? Did he look so pathetic that even Remi was taking pity on him?
“She cares about you, and you’re obviously in love with her. Even though you keep fucking up. God damn, get it together. I swear you are the one person that sabotages his own happiness so damn much.”
“I don’t understand what’s happening right now. You’re rooting for us?”
Remi rubbed the bridge of her nose and muttered, “Save me from clueless men, Lord Jesus,” before getting to her feet. “Cherisse hasn’t allowed herself to see anything with anyone in a long time. She’s been cautious, and obviously, you wouldn’t have been her first choice for that.”
“Geez, thanks.”
The look Remi shot him nearly murdered him on the spot.
“But,” she continued. “Stuff doesn’t always go as planned, and it’s so obvious to me you didn’t plan some malicious plot with that asshole, and look, Cherisse in her heart knows that. You don’t even like him. They tried to spin those behind-the-scenes vids in a certain way, but I could tell you were getting frustrated with Sean. But you tried to manage her, which was a big no-no. Might not have been your intention, but you need to show her you’re serious about her. Serious about admitting you fucked up and want to do better. Actions. Not just some pathetic apology saying I’m sorry. I’m sure you’ve said it so many times since you two were forced to work together, so show her you’re genuinely willing to fix this. Apologies aren’t always comfortable, so figure it out.”
He opened his mouth to ask how the hell he was supposed to do that, and Remi held up a hand. “Don’t even ask me. I’ve helped you enough. Bye.”
Keiran leaned back in his chair, pondering. Remi had given him a lot to think about. It was easy to say sorry, but doing something to prove that? Not so much. But Cherisse deserved more than that.
When he finally allowed himself to pick up the phone and dial, his heart was thudding again. Was he really going to do this?
“‘Sup, man?”
He took a breath and said, “I need a huge favor.”
Chapter 34
JUNE
Cherisse
CHERISSE HAD NEVER felt more conspicuous in her life. It could be her imagination—after all, there was a lot going on. But she felt eyes on her and refused to look directly at anyone for fear of seeing their pity. Word would have filtered down to the rest of the wedding party, at least about her and Keiran supposedly being an item. Not
everyone would be privy to what transpired after that, but who knew?
The wedding rehearsal and dinner that followed was lovely but awkward for her. First, she didn’t know how to react, seeing Keiran again after a week of radio silence. Then she felt like she had to act like nothing was weighing on her, that she was fine because her sister didn’t deserve a Maid of Honor who was too busy dealing with her own problems to give her all.
Everyone else was buzzing with excitement about the walkthrough at the Green Meadows venue. She was just trying her best not to look at Keiran while maintaining a casual air of being unfazed by his presence.
That didn’t last because she could avoid him for only so long. The main con of their roles in this wedding.
Suck it up.
And so, she did, even as she felt his eyes on her the entire rehearsal as they did their walk up the runner that was laid out on the grass, leading right to the arch where the ceremony would take place. Most of the major setup was already complete. Tomorrow, her main duties were going over the dessert stations and the cakes setup with Reba and attending to Ava. Both she and Scott would be working double duty, him with the makeup and her with the desserts. Her plan for tonight was to get Ava and all the bridesmaids to have an early night after dinner. No one was showing up hungover on wedding day. She would see to that.
The last week had been her channeling her energies into ensuring everything within her purview was set for the wedding. Keeping Ava calm was key. Her sister appeared to be doing just fine. It was Cherisse who had a whirlwind inside her.
It was becoming more unstable as they were forced to do the walk several times because Cherisse kept trying to hustle through it so she wouldn’t have to keep locking arms with Keiran to walk up the aisle, which was counterproductive because it made them have to do it over and over while her stomach was a jumble of nerves. She expended way too much energy, trying to act like everything was normal. Like she didn’t care about him right now.
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