I huffed. “What would you do, Samson?”
He blinked in surprise. “Excuse me, sir?”
“Imagine you’re me for a moment. You have to announce your engagement in two days. You ran away in the hopes of avoiding the whole thing and failed. Now you have to explain to the nation how and why you were taken prisoner by the crown’s enemy and spin it so everyone looks good while people ask you who you’re going to propose to. What would you do?”
“Honestly, sir?”
I nodded. “Of course.”
He took a deep breath and sat back a bit. “I think I’d be throwing glassware across my office, too.”
I huffed a small laugh. “Back to this again?”
He shrugged. “Sir, I am merely trying to empathise. I couldn’t imagine being under the immense pressures you are each day just for being born to the parents you were. I see it second hand and it is…tiring enough. You have my utmost respect, sir. I know it can’t be easy.”
There were many layers to his words and I suspected he guessed at least half of what had transpired before my office had one less tumbler. Which half he guessed though, I neither knew nor wanted to clarify with him.
“That is not really an answer, Samson,” I chuckled.
He shook his head. “No, sir. If you’re after my advice–”
“Always.”
A brief smile lit his face before he continued. “If I’m expected to speak frankly, I would say that I would have thrown caution to the wind and courted Lady Tatiana when I had the chance.”
“Would you now?” I asked wryly.
“However,” he went on with a rueful smile, “we both know I say that with the benefit of hindsight. As for what I would do now?” He smacked his lips as he thought about it. “I don’t think I’d give up, sir. If I thought there was someone out there I wanted to spend my life with, then I’d find a way to serve my duty and my heart.”
I nodded slowly. “Logic. Now, why didn’t I think of that?”
Samson laughed. “You have an aide for a reason, sir.”
My foul mood started shifting – as though it might even lift, as though there was still some hope – and I smiled with him. “Indeed, Samson.”
I could not be sure if Tati had refused me because she could never love me, because I hadn’t given her enough reason to believe I loved her, or if it was purely a timing thing. The first I could do nothing about. But the second two, I could. And I could perhaps do something about the engagement announcement due on Thursday if I played my cards right. I now just needed to work out which were the right cards to play.
There was a knock on the door and Alaina poked her head into the room at my call.
“Sir, we’re almost ready to head down,” she said. The implied ‘if you are’ hung in the air out of politeness only. The royal family ruled the country, but the family’s schedule was ruled for them.
Samson stood. “We’re ready. Thank you.”
I put my cup down and stood as well. Samson held out my suit jacket for me and helped me shrug it on.
As I followed Alaina and Samson down to the press conference, I had never felt less ready to face my people. Although that might have had something to do with the fact that I’d smashed a tumbler and read over trade agreements instead of looking over Samson’s speech notes the night before. Still I was practised in this if nothing else. My entire set of specific skills were built around having a good public face. It was my job. And I was damned good at my job.
Alaina did her usual announcement and I walked into the room with a slight nod to all those gathered. I took my place at the podium and faced my people. A woman, no matter how special or tempting, was not going to make me bad at my job. In fact, her influence made me better.
“Good morning, everyone. Thank you for being here today,” I started, feeling myself fall into the swing of it easily now I was there. “As the nation has been made aware, Prince Dominic and myself were presumed missing for a time during our mission to the front. As you can see though, we are both hale and hearty, minus a small wound my youngest brother sustained as we were scouting Bronkala’s camp. I know there are many rumours circulating, so allow me to put your minds at ease. Prince Dominic did sustain a bullet wound, however it was thankfully only a graze of his arm as he valiantly threw himself forward in my protection.”
I felt it prudent to neglect to tell them why my mind had been so distracted at the time.
“This did lead to our capture by Bronkala and his men. I would like it on record that they treated us fairly and fully within the tenets of combat. Bronkala may be seen by many in this country as a rebel and a traitor, but he is an honourable man who upholds the virtues of our armed forces.”
This wasn’t quite true, but we’d decided that painting him as a misunderstood freedom fighter was going to put us in the best position to avoid any retribution or further unrest.
“During Prince Dominic and my capture, short though it was, I met with Bronkala a number of times. We were able to have many conversations that aired grievances on both sides, and have given us a foundation to work towards a peaceful resolution. In the meantime, Bronkala has agreed to suspend all acts of protest.”
Or violence, for those of us who had lost at least one person to his actions. I took a deep breath before continuing. And as I tried to relax, I couldn’t help but think of Tati, just as I had when I met with Bronkala.
“We have a long way to go before we achieve all our goals. But the first steps have been taken. Bronkala and I are not so different – we each of us fight for our people, for their betterment and for their lives. We each of us have learned time and again that the hardest battles are the ones we fight alone, yet we find it hard to let other people share the burdens we place upon ourselves.
“Bronkala was the second person to ask me how I plan to protect my people. I spent all my life thinking I had to follow someone else’s rule. My father and the kings of Gallyr before him have protected their people as well as they could. I cannot promise I will not make mistakes, I can only say I will protect my people my way. Because I do not know how to be anyone else and I would do my nation and my people a disservice by pretending otherwise.
“I was reminded recently that it is important to fight together or not at all. And I have realised that this does not just mean alongside my fellow soldiers, but all the Gallyrian people. With these negotiations, it is my fondest hope that the whole of Gallyr will fight together rather than among ourselves.”
I stopped and looked out over the gathered reporters. There was a moment before the hands started shooting up and, at the same time the semi-awed silence lifted, I managed to breathe again.
I fielded questions about Nico’s arm and his bravery that left me very close to rolling my eyes. I fielded questions about my impeding engagement with the most boring response of ‘You will find out on Thursday’ and, as Samson has predicated, that didn’t stop them trying to weasel something else out of me. But I maintained both my composure and my stance on the matter.
I maintained it through the end of the conference, through the rest of Tuesday and Wednesday as I buried myself in work and avoided the whiskey. Father was impressed with my dedication, Mother completely saw through my façade but said nothing, and Nico knew my proposal had been rejected but also thankfully said nothing.
Chapter Three
I managed to maintain all composure until Wednesday afternoon when my door opened.
“Samson, can you tell me when…?” I looked up at Samson to find it wasn’t actually Samson at all. My heart thundered in my chest, but I kept my expression neutral and switched to English. “Lady Tatiana.”
She looked flustered, but there was an energy about her. “Hi.” She looked back into the ante-room before closing the door and turning to face me again.
“Can I help you with something?” I asked her, knowing I was putting my worst foot forward.
But I didn’t know why she was there. Despite
my wildest hopes, I didn’t know. So as much as I was beyond happy to see her and wanted nothing more than to hold her, I had to guard myself against her.
“I…” She looked me over and seemed unsure. “Yes. That is… You didn’t let me finish what I was going to say on Monday and I didn’t even know what it was I was going to say. I don’t really know what I was going to say, or what I want to say. But I thought I owed it to both of us to try to say it before it’s too late… If it’s not already too late.”
I wanted to tell her it wasn’t too late. I wanted to tell her she could never be too late. But the reality that there was more than the two of us involved in this suddenly weighed far too heavily and my mind whirred with all the different outcomes and how I could achieve the one I wanted. In the meantime, the mask was back.
“Is there a point to this, Lady Tatiana?”
“Yes, Mitya. There is,” she said pointedly. “You caught me completely unawares on Monday. Since I arrived in Gallyr, it has been my understanding that you would be announcing your engagement tomorrow. Almost as long, it’s been my understanding that your fiancée would most likely be Amanda Schuller, but whoever it was it wouldn’t be me. Then things got complicated because I was…attracted to you. Then we kissed and it got even more complicated.
“But I told myself that we only had until tomorrow because I wasn’t worthy. I wasn’t worthy of you or the country. I knew there was no way I could stand beside you and help you run a whole damned country. I couldn’t even captain my hockey team in PE for God’s sake. I had no idea how to be a lady. There was no way I could be a future queen. And that’s not even taking into account the fact that I’m eighteen and hadn’t even thought about marriage yet.
“So I told myself I would love you while I could and let you go when it was time. But our time was cut short and I was left confused about how I felt about that. Then you’re back again and instead of me watching you announce your engagement to another woman tomorrow, you’re proposing to me. To me! And my brain just shut down. I didn’t know…” She sighed and my heart lurched for about the fourth time since she’d started talking. “I didn’t know what to say, Mitya. My brain couldn’t work out what to process first. I couldn’t just say yes because I’m scared and I couldn’t say no because I didn’t want to…” She paused and some of the excitement she’d started with had left her.
I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what to do.
She loved me. This amazingly unique and strong and wonderful woman loved me. Me. She did. I hadn’t been imagining anything that was happening between us. I hadn’t been totally unjustified in my jealousy at seeing her with Nico and Kostin and that ponce Lord Baker. Obligation or not, that last one had been difficult.
I had scenario after scenario rushing through my head as I looked at her. What I needed to do to avoid announcing my engagement the next day. What I needed to do so she was the woman I married when she was ready. What I needed to set up so we had our best chance. What I needed to say now so I could work out what she wanted to do now; I still didn’t entirely know why she was in my office now and where this was going.
So all I gave her back was a rather pathetically blank, “Are you here to tell me you do know what to say now?”
“I…” Tati opened and closed her mouth a few times as though she didn’t actually know what to say now. “I’m still scared. I feel like I’m too young to feel like this, but there’s something so right about it. You said you’d have given us time if you could and I feel like that’s all we need. So the answer seems obvious.”
I ignored the most recent skipping lurch my heart took in my chest. “If it is so obvious, I have to wonder why you seem to find it so hard to say.”
She took a deep breath and seemed to steel herself. “If I’m not too late and you still want me, my answer is yes. No,” she amended quickly as I fought against running to her. “My answer’s still yes. I don’t know if I’ll ever be worthy. I don’t think I’ll ever be the country’s choice. But I’d always do my best. I love you and I don’t want you to marry Amanda, or anyone else. I want to be with you, Mitya. Whatever that entails. I’ll be royal or common. I’ll marry you on someone else’s schedule or not at all. I don’t care what we do as long as we do it together… Please don’t let me be too late.”
I had never felt more elated in my life. But there was a mountain of things to sort. She deserved the chance for us to date first. I appreciated her words and I believed she meant them and I wanted to believe she wouldn’t regret them. But if I could talk to Father first…
In my agitation, I tapped my pen on the papers in front of me and breathed out heavily. “I saw the report on Channel Eight.”
Why in God’s name was that the first thing that came out. But then I realised why that was as I saw her frown in adorable confusion.
“What?” she asked.
“I saw the reports. Your thoughts about the unrest were…interesting.”
“Okay…”
“I had seen it before, but it struck me again how you feel about this country and its people. You truly seem to care what’s best for them. You say you would have let me go it if benefitted the country?”
She nodded and I saw the regret on her face. “I thought it would be for the best. I thought they deserved someone better.”
“You say you love me?”
“Yes.”
“You would give up the man you love for your country? For his country?”
“I was going to.”
“What changed your mind?”
“He told me he loved me. He asked me to marry him. He made me believe that being together was worth more than anything we might face, together or apart. You didn’t want to ask me to wear that mask for you? I’d gladly wear it every day if it meant I wore it by your side.”
And that right there was it. That was what made her more than worthy to stand by my side. Because it was one thing to know that I was following my heart and that I’d found a woman I loved and wanted to marry. But I was to be king and any woman I married would be queen. By rights the queen didn’t need to be anything but acceptable. Yet how much better a queen who would put the country’s needs before her own desires? How much better a queen whose beliefs and desires aligned with mine? How much better a woman who understood what the country meant to me?
The only question left was to ask her if she wanted to announce the next day, or if she wanted me to talk to Father about a delay. I was fairly sure that, under the circumstances, Father would be more than happy to let me delay until Tati and I were really ready.
But she spoke before I had a chance. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed the kind of person I am, Dmitri. But I think I’ve told you I love you more in the last few minutes than I’ve told any of my family in my whole life. You have to do what’s best for your country and, if that’s not me, I understand. But I think I deserve to be told straight. Am I too late or not?”
As I opened my mouth, my office door flew open.
Tati turned as she cried, “Oh my God!” and I had to agree with the sentiment. Even if it was my father. “Rex…” Tati said. “Hi…”
Father looked between Tati and me with a look of amused questioning. “Did I interrupt something?” he asked.
Only the most wonderful and probably important moment of my life, I thought.
“No.” Tati shook her head.
Father nodded. “Wonderful. Mitya, the council is waiting.”
I knew I was already late, but I just needed about five minutes to finalise a conversation I should have started months ago. “I’ll be along in a moment, father.”
“You’ll be along now, son.”
Father wasn’t going anywhere without me going with him, and both Tati and I knew that.
She forced a smile for my father and said, “I will see you both later.”
As she turned and left, she bumped into one of the wing-back chairs. She looked to my father and gave a
self-conscious chuckle that made my heart warm before she hurried out.
“Come on. It’s not like you to be late,” Father said, switching to Gallyrian now Tati was gone.
I threw my best glare at him.
“What?” he asked, completely clueless, as I straightened my tie and stood up.
“Nothing. You just…” I let out a huff of frustration and led the way out of my office.
“What? Son to father, what did I miss? Did I interrupt something important?”
I nodded to Samson and strode into the hallway, Father following behind as I made for the council chamber.
“We were…” I sighed. “Now is not the time to talk about it. Although, we will need to before tomorrow.”
“I still do not understand, Mitya,” he chastised fondly.
I grunted and leant closer to him so no one would hear me, not that there was anyone about to hear me. “I proposed on Monday. There was a miscommunication. It was about to be fixed.”
Father ran his hand over his chin. “Proposed? Good. Although, to whom?”
I gave him a withering glance. “Tati, father.”
His confusion brightened and I thought he was about to clap his hands in excitement.
“Calm down.” I looked around but there still wasn’t anyone to worry about. “We still have no resolution. And I’m not sure when I’ll be able to talk to her before the announcement tomorrow.”
We walked into the chamber and I nodded to the members of council as they greeted us, including Max. Father put his hand on my arm lightly and I looked at him quickly.
“We will discuss this later. Rest assured, we will find a solution.”
I could see the happiness in his eyes and I spared him a small smile, knowing I owed him a lot of explanation. I also owed a conversation to Max. But with discussion concerning Bronkala set for the rest of the day, and likely to run late into the night, and my schedule the next morning, I had no idea if I’d have time to talk to anyone before the announcement conference.
Chapter Four
Royally Unprepared: Prince of Pout (Part 1) (Royal Misadventures Book 5) Page 2