by C C Monroe
This whole time I thought Jeff would scare her away from me, but I did that shit all on my own. Fuck, I’m an asshole!
I feel blood coming from my lip and I know I have at least one black eye. I wipe the blood from my lip and step closer to Lana, my hand reaching to touch her, but she scorns it away. “Don’t fucking touch me. I can’t believe you just had a fistfight with my father!”
“Yeah!” her dad butts in from behind Becky. Both women are standing between us, guarding us, even though they want to strangle us.
“He hit me first! He fucking compared me to your ex!”
“You’re just like him and my daughter deserves better and you know it!”
“Jeff enough! That’s enough!” Lana’s mom pushes him toward the house, Jeff takes those few steps and spews insults my way but I don’t pay attention, my eyes are transfixed on my firecracker. She looks fucking angry, so angry I’m convinced she’ll kill me herself.
“He hit you first? That’s your argument, Kingston? What are we, six years old again?” she asks me. Reaching out to pull her in, she takes a step back and with every step she takes back I take a step forward.
“Seven years old, actually,” I say back with a smirk, hoping my sense of humor will lighten the mood. Her rage boils. Great, that made it worse. I’ll be in the fucking doghouse for God knows how long now.
“That’s my father. Comparing you to Joel or not does not give you the right to hit him,” Lana says, her voice eerily calm. I hate that I can’t reach out and touch her. Physical touch has always been our cornerstone, it’s all we have when our personal issues get in the way. I want to pull her into me and hold her until she forgives me, but she is giving me nothing, which I fucking deserve.
“Babe, you’re right and I’m sorry. But your father has been looking for any way to fucking pull me into that fight.”
“He’s scared. I told you that and you promised you would play nice. But no, he says one thing and you lose it like King Kong. He almost lost me that day Kingston!”
“Yeah and so did I! I saved you, remember? But you don’t see him giving me credit for that!” I yell, throwing my hands up in the air.
“So what—saving my life was just so you could get some kind of praise?”
“That’s not what I meant, Lana. Quite finding ways to fight with me, damn it. I saved you because I love you.” I’m in her face and she doesn’t flinch or back down, she just stays firm in place. I may be upset however, I take pride over the fact that she’s becoming strong and not backing down in the face of fear.
“You crossed the line, that’s my father. He’s the most important man in my life.” Talk about a fucking shot to the chest.
“Yeah, I see that. I guess the man who saved your life and fought like hell to love you, you know the father to our child, doesn’t have room in that heart of yours. Comparing me to the man who nearly took you away from me warrants me to walk away. Hope you’re happy, Lana.” Turning, I give in and walk away from her, needing space to clear my head.
Two steps forward is now ten steps back. I walk in the house and luckily her parents aren’t anywhere to be seen, I’m assuming they are hiding out in their room. Taking the stairs two at a time I pack my duffle bag leaving behind a couple of items. I just need to get out.
Jogging down the stairs I hear the back door and her parents’ bedroom door open at the same time. Hastening my steps I leave slamming the front door. I feel Lana’s eyes on me, that connection still there. Throwing my bag in the back of the car, I close the trunk and look up at the window. There she stands sobbing, her beautiful face covered in mascara, making my chest ache. I’m walking away from my girl, what other choice do I have?
Becky stands to the side of her holding her shaking form and behind her is Jeff, staring me down as I drive away. That smug fucker is giving me a run for my money. Shit, I don’t blame him. I want to be angry at him for defending L and being extra cautious with her, but I can’t because I’m the same way.
I check into the hotel at a quarter to six. Going through the motions, replaying the fight in my head, seeing Lana crying as I walk away, it’s all too mind numbing. I need a fucking drink. Opening the minibar I smile when I see bottles of scotch like I requested, got to love swanky hotels.
Kingston left me and worst of all—I let him. Tonight spiraled out of control way too quickly, I couldn’t grip it and hold on if I tried. He left two hours ago and I’ve been sitting in my room wallowing. I stared at my phone like it was a lifeline and all I had to do was click call and he would be my reviver.
My parents gave me the space I demanded, I didn’t want to be near my father. I’m so angry at him for betraying me. I must be an idiot to think he would play nice like he said he would. Same with Kingston. God the two men I love are fighting when they are exactly the same damn way. Stubborn and smug.
I can hear my parents’ voices carrying from the other room. Standing I move to the door and place my ear against it trying to hear better.
“Jeff, why are you so convinced he’s no good for her?”, my mother asks.
“Lana is sweet, so fucking naive when it comes to love and Kingston is...Becky do you see the way he looks at her? It’s scary.” She chuckles. “It’s not funny.”
“Yeah, it actually is. My parents said the same thing about you. I still see you looking at me like that.” I see Kingston in my head now, looking at me and I know that look. He looks at me like I’m his purpose and I do the same. I’m unhealthily obsessed with Kingston and I don’t care if they know it.
“I look at you like that because I love you and you’re my world,” my dad cuts back in.
“What, because he has a past like we all do and Lana is only twenty-two, that means they can’t love like that? Jeff, we got pregnant with Lana when I was sixteen.”
“We’re different,” he says and I hear him slam his glass down.
“Hardly. You hate that she found a man that can protect and love her the way you thought only you could. No one can take your place, Jeff. He can love her like that and more. He’s her person and if you don’t want to lose her for good, then you need to accept what is and apologize.” I grab the necklace around my neck and drop my forehead to the door. I love my mother for defending Kingston, for being the greatest mother a girl could ask for.
I hear a few more soft murmurs then the sound of the stairs creaking. Stepping back to my bed, I sit down. Opening the door, my dad fills the doorway, my mom’s tiny frame standing behind him.
“Can I come in?” he asks with reservation.
“It’s your house dad, I can’t tell you no.” He chuckles.
“I see you’re still the smart-ass I raised,” he says, taking a seat next to me. I just nod, my fingers playing with the zipper on Kingston’s hoodie. He left it here and I couldn’t help but put it on. I miss him already. “Anyway, I can’t convince you to fall in love with someone else?”
“Dad.”
“Jeff,” my mother and I both warn.
“Sorry, bad joke. Alright, I’m gonna say this once and then I’ll let your mother and you talk.” He takes a deep breath and stops my hand, grabbing it and placing it to his heart.
“The day you were born, I stopped being a selfish teenager and became a man. I remember how smug I was and I never thought I was good enough to be with your mother. However, she thought different and stayed with me against her parents’ will.” Looking up at her, he winks and I smirk at their sweet exchange.
“Anyway, I became a man that day and not a day goes by that I don’t think of that tiny little baby girl in my arms and how I promised I would be the only man she needed. How I would never let anyone hurt her. You gave me this look and I can’t describe it, you saw only me, you gave me your heart that day, Lana. I need you to look me in the eye and tell me what you love most about Kingston and if it’s the right answer I will never second guess you guys again. I will let him take a place beside you.”
I swallow back the tears and I smile when
I think of the words playing on the tip of my tongue, the one thing that will always bring me back to him. “I trust him, dad. He’s my best friend.”
“Well shit.” He brings my hand to his lips. Closing his eyes, he lingers for a second. “I love you, Lana and I trust that you know what you’re doing. That look you just gave me, that was the same look you’ve given me the past twenty-two years.”
“Dad,” I whimper, my chest tight.
“Now, you go to him Lana. You make this right.” I watch him stand and leave the room, hiding his tears from me, his hasty retreat a defense mechanism. My father never cries in front of me, ever. I debate going after him and hugging him, telling him thank you, but my mom stops me.
“Mom?” Looking to her for answers she just shrugs her shoulders.
“Go to him, that’s your best friend and you can’t run away or push him away when things get too hard, Lana. That’s the father of your child, so be an adult and go make things right.” I wipe my eyes, shaking my head.
“I can’t. I don’t know where he is and I know he won’t answer his phone.” I don’t blame him for it either, I didn’t even hear him out and I let him walk away without a fight.
“I do. He texted me and told me, said to tell you so you didn’t worry. He’s at the Hyatt in Draper.”
“Why didn’t he just text me?” I ask standing fast, searching for my shoes.
“He’s not that strong all the time, Lana. He would’ve cracked and came back with just a whisper from you.” She chuckles and I throw her a smile.
“True. Can I borrow your keys?” I ask, my breath now heavy from all the fast movements.
“Yes, they’re downstairs.” I go to give her a kiss on the cheek, pulling away I remember my dad.
“What about dad?”
“I got it, now go make things right!” She pats my butt and I give her a thank you hug then leave the house as fast as humanly possible.
“Drive safe!” she yells before I slam the door shut.
After spending a decent amount of time convincing the lady at the front desk to let me have Kingston’s room number, I finally make it to his room. I knock, debating on busting the door down. When it opens I’m greeted by his wet form covered in only a towel around his waist, the sound of running water coming from the bathroom.
I lose my mind for a minute and unabashedly check him out like a piece of meat.
“Lana? What are you doing here?” he asks, breaking my haze.
Stuttering I reply, “I...I just..I’m sorry Kingston, I was so wrong.” He moves aside and I walk in, waiting until he shuts the door to wrap my arms around him. I stand on my tiptoes and engulf him with my body, my legs wrapping around his hips, my arms around his neck. Losing his towel during the process he returns my embrace, my mouth finds his ear and I apologize repeatedly.
“I’m so sorry, baby. You’re the most important man in my life. I don’t know why I didn’t fight for you to stay.” I let all my emotions go, desperately needing his forgiveness. I want him to know that he’s my keeper and I was wrong to not chose him, to not defend him when someone hurt him.
“Lana, stop, baby. It’s okay. Stop crying. I hate it when you fucking cry.”
“I deserve it. You’re not him and for the past four years you’ve been fighting for me, trying so hard to love me in a way I’ve never had love and I’m sorry that I let someone say mean things like that to you.” I pepper him with kisses, his cheeks, his nose, his lips, his chin and neck, anywhere my lips can reach from my position in his arms.
“Baby, shh it’s okay. Just relax, you’re freezing and shaking.” He sets me down, his hands moving from my hips to just under my breasts.
“It’s the adrenaline. I sped all the way here.” I laugh.
“Lana, you shouldn’t speed, you and my baby are delicate cargo.”
“I know, I just missed you.”
“Why do we keep doing this? Why can’t I ever let you go?” he murmurs with his forehead against mine, his eyes shut. Taking his lip between his teeth, he shakes his head as it rolls against mine.
“Because this is love, you’re my person.”
“Fuck, Lana. God.” he cracks.
Backing me up against the wall, he starts to strip me down, his mouth latching onto my neck. “Tell me you forgive me, Kingston?” I moan into his ear while he marks my skin, my nails dragging along his bare back.
“I fucking forgive you Lana, fuck. I’m crazy about you, all I want is you happy. I’ll fight for you and do anything you want as long as you’re mine, baby.” I fixate my hands on his growing cock, running my hands up and down his shaft. The sexist growl comes from him and I almost come on the spot.
“I want you in my mouth.” I’ve never had Kingston’s cock in my mouth. I don’t know why we haven’t, but we just never have.
“What?” Leaning back he looks down at my half naked form, only my shorts are left on me.
“I want to taste you. Turn the shower off and let’s go to bed.” I claw at his abs, causing an eruption of goosebumps to break out on his skin, his abs tightening in the process.
“Drop your fucking shorts and wait for me on the bed.”
“Yes, handsome.” I walk away, swaying my hips with each pronounced step. Looking back at him, he watches me as I move, stroking his hard cock.
“Don’t finish yet, baby, I want you to finish in my mouth.”
“Bed, now,” he demands, pulling one last long stroke, his green eyes turning dark.
I climb onto the bed, releasing half my hair from its state on top of my head.
Kingston appears from the bathroom, walking toward me, his ten-inch hard-on bobbing against his stomach gaining my full attention.
“I’ve never done this,” I admit, shyly. Now all my insecurities are shining through, I know he has had a buffet of women, what if I’m not good at it?
“Really?” He lifts a brow and he looks shocked, as if I’m joking.
“I can try, I’m sorry. I know you’ve had a ton of experience, but I can learn.” I grab the king size pillow next to me and cover myself. I feel like a complete idiot, totally naked and open bare to him not only physically but emotionally. We’ve been lovers for over a year, so why do I feel like this is the first time? Why am I even thinking about his past when we have become much more than that?
“Lana?” I can’t look at him directly, my cheeks are pink with embarrassment.
“Lana, look at me.” I shake my head no. Climbing onto the bed, he rips the pillow from my body and my hands react and try to cover myself the best they can.
“I didn’t mean it like that. I thought you were teasing me.”
“No, I’m not. I haven’t done that with anyone.”
“You know how sexy it is to know that I’m the only one who gets to have those lips around me?” Leaning me back on the bed he towers over me, spreading my legs so my feet are planted on each sides of his knees.
“I know, but what if I suck?”
“Oh, baby I hope you fucking do.” I giggle at his cute little pun, reaching up I slap his chest lightly. Grabbing my hand he smiles, his white teeth complimenting his perfect grin.
“Stop it. I’m serious Kingston, what if I’m not good enough at it?”
“Baby, you couldn’t be bad at anything.” He sits in front of me, his arms bulging, covered in tattoos, his hair a wet mess on his head, his hands roaming over my legs, massaging my calves, the sensation making me grow wetter with each knead of his thumb.
He moves beside me putting his back against the headboard and spreading his legs enough to make room for me.
“Come here, get on your knees, babe.”
“Okay.” Holding my hand for balance he helps me crawl into position. Once I’m positioned he eyes me closely.
“You sure you want this, Lana?” I smile.
“More than anything.”
“Perfect, okay wet those lips baby, let me see that tongue.” Licking my lips he watches the swipe of my tongue. “Now
, lick the tip, baby, swirl that velvet tongue around it.”
Leaning down I wrap my hand around the base and swirl my tongue around his tip, licking up his pre-cum. It tastes like him mixed with salt, a thick delicious drop. He twitches making me drop him from my hands. “Shit, babe, no don’t stop, that felt amazing.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, keep doing that.” I go back to my previous motion, licking his tip then sucking the rounded crown into my mouth. His hand moves my hair from my face, piling it on top of my head as he stares down at me. He’s wide and long, the thickness traced with veins. Kingston’s cock screams dominant lover, a man with great power in the bedroom—in life. He is powerful, carnal, and all things a woman could ever desire.
“Suck it in deeper baby, as far as you can.” I start to take him in deeper as my reflexes engage; my eyes starting to water. “Not too deep, don’t choke.” I ease up knowing damn well he won’t fit all the way in my mouth. No way.
Flattening my tongue on the underside of his cock, his veins rub against it, making it so I can feel every detail of his king cock. I try and roll my tongue and when I do he shakes.
“Fuck, that’s it.” I look up and the image of him with his head back, one knee bent and him fucking my mouth is the ultimate sight. I’m literally pleasing him to the fullest. His chest and arms are flexing as he guides my mouth over his shaft. I suck harder because of it, my hands helping with the rest of his length that my mouth can’t reach.
“You like sucking this big dick?” I moan a yes and this earns me a hard tug on my hair, surprisingly it only makes my nerves over-sensitized, the hair on my skin standing on edge.
“I love this sexy little mouth, you suck me so fucking good.” I take one hand from his shaft and place it flat against his stomach, his cock making my tongue tender from the invasion. “I’m gonna come if you keep going babe, lie on your back.” I suck him with a few more long shallow sucks and then hurry to my back next to him. I’m panting, gaining back the lack of oxygen I wasn’t getting. He gets on his knees next to me, towering over the side of my chest.