I did not know when I found her at his grave that he was gone. I felt emotion roar through her like flames, burning everything in their path, but in my hatred over the boy and my anger with her, I lashed out anyway. I never even asked her why. I saw her face, swollen from tears and still I yelled at her. The mother of her heart came and leveled a shotgun at me and I could see a hint of Lara’s spunk in her face. The woman offered to shoot me and Lara sagged in her skin, beyond broken and sent her away. Still, even after all this, she did not fear me. She stood on her own feet and took what I gave, which is more than I have ever done for her. Is there another more appropriate word than Monster? If there is, I am that to the core. She took the mad ravings of a terrible vampire into her heart and stood her ground over the body of the only thing she has ever loved. I did that to her and I hated myself for it. Her mind shifted like sand and struggled to stay whole and I selfishly added to her burden. Never had I treated a lover so callously.
Once I found out what had happened after talking to young Jeremy, I sent Samuel to check on her. An eight year old boy picked up more from one telephone conversation than I did by seeing her in person and he worried about her heart, which is much more than I did in that moment. Something in her voice scared him, he said. From the mouths of babes come many truths. I feared for her life. In her mind, she had nothing left to live for and that is a dangerous place to be. I know this first hand, for I have been there. Samuel is loyal to my House, even though he is not bonded to it. He is trustworthy and kind. He didn’t understand the entire situation, but he knew enough. He brought her back to Charleston for me and it was a good thing he did, her aura had waned down to a mere glimmer of what it normally is, her soft glow almost gone. I could feel her despair and pain. I knew she was near the end of her ability to cope with them. She had lost control and to her that was unforgivable. She felt responsible for Tuffy’s death and wished to follow him. Samuel could have spoken with Lara on the phone, but did not. He took her into the warmth and safety of his House and she saved his daughter and her unborn child as payment. That is who she is. That is the essence of her beautiful soul. She did not let sorrow, pain, or anger stop her from placing her hands on another’s body and saving them. I was awestruck at what she did. I had never seen her work her magic in person that way. I was humbled by her and embarrassed by my earlier actions. As always, she showed me the way that one with great power should behave, even under emotional duress, especially under emotional duress, regardless of the cost to oneself. She displayed more grace and poise in those moments than I have in all my lifetimes put together. It was eye opening.
Afterwards, she slept in a porcelain claw foot tub, her head thrown over the soft curve of the edge and her damp hair almost touching the tiles beneath it. Her delicate arms floated in the water and the hazy remnants of bubbles or some sort of bath powder obscured the details of her body. Her breathing was deep and unlabored, but her face was troubled, her brows knit together even in sleep. I left a robe for her so that she would not be cold when she got out of the water and added wood to the fireplace in her room. She rested until she was ready, for she knew her battle plan and would attack Samuel’s own plan like the leader she is.
She knew there would be negotiations and did not reappear until she was ready, putting aside her own pain to fight for the welfare of others. Poor Samuel did not know what he was getting into. I almost felt badly for him. Watching them eat and argue about Kimani was like watching a production on Broadway. I would have bought tickets. It could have won awards. She stood her ground and wore down to a nub the strong will of an old vampire. It was a pleasure to watch. She doesn’t realize just how well she handles herself in tenuous situations. Samuel could have easily taken her conditions as a challenge to his authority, but she stood her ground and got her way and forced him to make a deal with a powerful Fae, a deal that would be binding for any. She does not understand what a skilled negotiator she is, no one comes away from a fight with her as the winner, she will wear you down to a draw at best, but most of the time, the scales tip in her favor. I think that being a nurse must be very much like being a vampire, she deals with the politics and drama that surrounds us as easily as I imagine she deals with the weak and the newly born. She makes me proud for reasons I do not understand.
That did not stop me from drinking from the maid that night as she watched. I saw her there, on the balcony in the chilly southern breeze, french doors open and fire burning beyond. I could smell her in the air, Sun, Salt and Sea. She wore a gown of black silk, her too pale skin glowed softly in the night, her long auburn hair caught the light of the fireplace and she looked like what she is. A Goddess. She was not trying to hide it. Earlier she had laid her head upon her bed and we talked for the first time in a long time. Really talked. She said she wanted to try to have a relationship with me and I had all but turned her away. She had lain her head upon the bed to hide her tears, but I could smell them on her as she bared her delicate neck to me, apologizing for something I had already forgiven, but refused to tell her so. The marks from my bite were long gone, but in my mind, I could feel where they had marred her skin. The memory burned in me like fire and I longed to mark her again.
I took the maid where she could see and would know. I didn’t need to feed for weeks, but the temptation was too great. I drank from the maid, thinking I was making some grand point and left Lara to sleep alone. I should have gone to her, thrown myself at her feet and curled up with her on that old rice planter bed. Pride Goeth before Destruction and a Haughty Spirit before the Fall, or so the Christian book of law says. It is right about this.
Chapter Twelve
After she left to go back to her island, I spoke with Samuel about my concerns and went so far as to admit I am an idiot. I wasn’t as frank as I was with Gregory, but I let him know I was worried. We talked at length about Pawley’s Island and the Faeries that built the spell there, keeping it safe from the likes of us. He remembered seeing them and following them to learn more. He said that they looked haunted and that Lara’s mother was a little slip of a woman with red hair and sad eyes. No mistake they were her parents, he said power thrummed off them. Eventually, he left them in peace.
We devised a contingency plan to the contingency plan, should one be needed. He would help her get home, he would help hide her, whatever it took, should she need to get out of Maryland. Samuel was familiar with the old underground railroad system. There are many of those tunnels and pathways that exist to this day. She might not like the idea of running, but if it came down to it, Samuel was the one that could easily take her where she needed to go. Geenie would help too and together we laid out a detailed plan. I’m not sure why I was so certain that there was trouble on the horizon, I’m not sure if it was precognition or foreshadowing, but I could feel it in the air, a thick miasma of ill portent. At this time, I did not know who had stolen Daniel with a blood oath. I still did not know who had set the wheels of my kidnapping into motion. I know now. I can only hope it is not too late.
I followed her to her beach house and watched her from the balcony as she laughed on the phone with the boy called Justin and apologized for dragging him into a situation in which he did not belong. I smiled at her easy and honest way as much as the words she said; a vice around my heart that I did not know was there eased. She belonged here. Her aura was a shade brighter simply from being in her Seat of Power. She was so lovely there, with the sound of the ocean in the background, her movements relaxed and easy. It was hard to be in this place, even for me. As powerful as I am, I still felt the spell over this area like a crushing force, I would have thought that Lara’s blood in my veins might have eased it, but perhaps the maid’s blood, being fresher, caused the heaviness to fall. A weaker vampire could never stand to be here. This was good for Lara, but it was not for me. She would stay in this place that was obviously meant to be her home and she would work to find the children of Samuel, which in turn meant that she was helping me, but I could play no part in
it. I had to be satisfied with that. She makes me humble. Only a fool cannot learn from the young and she was teaching me quite a lot.
We kissed and I held her, telling her that we were going to be alright and we were. She felt so right in my arms, like she was made for them and perhaps she was. I would have loved to have taken her upstairs then, but the pressure of the place was suffocating and the timing was not yet right. It was close, right on the edge, but not yet there. She needed to make the decision to love me and Justin had helped with that. I needed to see her in her place of power to better understand her, which I had. I also needed to learn to stop pushing her away, Justin helped with that, also, though it is difficult to admit to and a hard way to learn a valuable lesson, I thought wryly. We had both learned a lot from a boy named Justin. I could feel the stirrings of her love through our bond. It was like a puff of smoke, that with care and feeding, would become a flame. I am the Flame Keeper, I understand fire in all its forms. I went home feeling peaceful. I left her in the comfort and safety of South Carolina were she could not be harmed and went home to catch up on my businesses.
Chapter Thirteen
The weeks she was gone, I knew no rest. Despite the fact that she was safe in her homeland, I worried over her. I had taken for granted the simple sight of her as she worked around her house. I had changed the entire layout of my second floor so that I could have visual access to her house and its empty vacant space screamed accusations at me. I missed the sight of her coming and going about the business of her day. I especially missed the watching her ride her horses, unconcerned and unaware that I watched. I took care of her horses myself and ghosted around her home uninvited just to have the feel of her in my mind again. How she had done this to me, I do not know. What it is it about her that does not allow me to be free? I can not say. I can surmise. I would love to have a Source of my own and she could be that for me. She is so completely unaffected by any of my magic, persuasions, powers or charms and that is refreshing. Unheard of and refreshing. The fact that she knows no fear of me and manages me effortlessly, is charming. The fact that she makes my heart flip and causes my viscera to tighten painfully and my testicles to rise with just a look is a new thing for me. Never had I thought I would feel love again, not like this and yet, there it is. Love. She knows I have darkness in my soul. She knows almost the entirety of my story and cares not. She understands that I am broken and it does not bother her. She has seen what I can be when pushed and punches my arm when she thinks me naughty. What manner of creature is she? I do not know, but I will call her mine to the end of my days, even if she does not agree to that. I will use the old tongue so that I do not get punched for it.
While she was gone, my darling daughter had taught her many things. Spending hours on the phone talking about magic had been good for Grania. She felt betrayed by Lara’s mistrust and sudden departure. She took it personally and perhaps she should have. Grania believed she had a true friend in Lara and I still believe that. The past changes the way we view our current situations and despite her facade, Grania is sensitive and her feelings are fragile. They will work this out in their own time and in their own way. I tried to explain to Grania that perhaps Lara was right in her thoughts about our unorthodox threesome, if not her reaction to it, but she does not see it this way. Grania is veritably a sixteen year old girl. I have not done a good job of helping her to mature. Lara, I know, felt betrayed too and she is not wrong either. Though I have not had sexual relations with Grania since her Turning, my actions were not those of a man courting a new mate and Grania’s were not those of a best friend. Yet, through their phone conversations, the rift began to heal.
We as a species, want legitimacy and legal status, perhaps we should avoid stereotypical fictional vampire behavior, even if we see it as harmless. Most of us have long term, committed relationships with humans or other supernaturals. Vampires, as a rule, do not do well together romantically, but there are exceptions. However, just as with humans, there are those among us who enjoy the occasional hedonistic orgy. I am not one of them, but we were all once human, well except for myself and our behaviors do not often change with the Turn.
One of the tricks Grania taught Lara while she was away was how to shield her thoughts and emotions. I rather wished she had skipped this lesson, but in the learning of this, she also managed to practice getting around my own shields, which was ever so endearing. I let her get through them from time to time so that she would be encouraged and keep trying. I would give her little flashes of emotion when she did a particularly good job of getting around my barriers and could feel her amusement and joy when she caught them. It was a good exercise. In little ways, I tried to help her gain control of her power. I wished, more than ever, that I could teach her myself, she was learning, but it would be quicker if I could teach her. I was worried about how much time we had left to get ready for whatever was brewing like poison in the kettle.
I watched her horse trailer wind up the drive, smiling. She would get my message, find her key and come to me. Her barriers were in place when she came home. They were strong, but they were not impenetrable. She would come and see me tonight, even if she did not yet know it, the idea had already formed in the back of her mind. The key I left on her nightstand, that I am not supposed to have access to, would solidify the thought into action. I needed to see her. I had tired of laying on her bed and smelling her pillows. I wanted to hold her in my arms and was almost desperate to do so, but I would not push.
Waiting patiently, I made a few late phone calls, the first to the Speaker of the House. There was a bill pending that needed to be revised and I wanted to make sure that she understood the importance of the changes that needed made. The second was to Domingo, I tasked him to place Lara on all my accounts as an authorized user and asked him to order duplicate debit and credit cards in her name. She will not be at all happy when she finds this out, but it needed to be done. I trust her implicitly. She hates that I pay her at all and we argue about money quite a bit. I knew she had no care for my wealth, but should the worst happen, money would smooth the way and there is quite a lot of smoothness in those accounts. I want to share everything with her, including money and she is stubborn not to give me this one small thing. I had Lara added to my jet authorization and instructed the pilot to follow her instructions, so that she could access that if needed as well. Domingo placed all this information in a safe deposit box for her. There are accounts that Grania can access in an emergency, but I doubt that she will remember them in a crisis situation. If I die here in this pit, Lara will be the wealthiest person in the country and possibly the world. I doubt she will buy a thing for herself with my money.
When she came, she was dressed in a soft, emerald green shirt that made her eyes glitter and her sun kissed skin shine. I just finished a call with the House Majority leader to discuss the same bill I had spoken with the Speaker about. There had been some legal setbacks across the country and I wanted to see that they did not grow into something that could affect our future. I had a multitude of businesses worldwide and I wanted to be sure that those in political power understand the reach of the American Vampire Association. The AVA is as well organized, funded and grassroots as the NRA, if not more so. We had more Political Action Committees and lobbyists by ten fold than any other group. Money flowed freely and I cared not one bit about the ethics of that. The plan had been in place too long for it to fail in the eleventh hour. I made sure that every politician I spoke to understood that. The implications of our success or failure would impact the worldwide economy and the depth of the impact needed to be known. It could be like an earthquake that triggered the tsunami or the start of an economic spring. The choice was theirs. I just helped them make the right one.
Grania and I had also planned to go into the city that night and feed and she would be by soon to pick me up. I had not fed since the maid and even though I could wait, it weakened me and now was not the time to be weak.
Seeing Lara for the fi
rst time in too long had me rethinking my plans. I wanted to move slowly with her, wanted to give her time to adjust to what she was feeling and become comfortable. She is like a feral cat in that way, you must move slowly and allow a natural give and take to gain their trust. Her life has made her cautious and cynical, but she wants also to love and be loved. The various lovers kept her from actually forming any meaningful connection, but like that feral cat, she wants one at the heart of her. It will take time though and I am patient. I often wonder what her marriage was like, but I will not ask. Tuffy told me once that the edges of her short life are razor sharp and painful to her, but that she keeps them sharp on purpose to force others away.
So I will be patient and go slowly, there is a way to work around those barbs and I will find it. That is a skill I am quite good at. I know she would take me as a lover and would have months ago, but I want more than that. I want her to see the full potential of our relationship and not just the short term pleasure. I want to show her love and all the things love can build. I want to teach her this, as someone taught me two hundred lifetimes ago. It is not that I am selfless in this thought, I want to be loved in return. I want to give all of myself to her and be warmed in the circle of her light. So I will wait.
Goddess, she was beautiful as she walked carefully through my door. She had lost weight in her absence. I doubt she ate much at all. She gets lost in her work and forgets to take care of herself. She focuses on caring for others, even those who do not necessarily need it, like myself. She is driven by her nature as a Healer.
The Scarlet Heron Page 6