She knew he wasn’t self-absorbed, but she had to push him away. “No, Dane, you’re just doing the right thing like you always do.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“C’mon, let’s be honest here. The only reason you’re with me is because I’m Jayden’s mother. And I get it, okay? You want to make sure our son has a better home life than you did growing up, but I’m releasing you of your obligation.”
“That’s a low blow, Iris. My family has nothing to do with why I’m with you.”
Iris shrugged. “Does it matter now anyway? I’ve said my piece, Dane, and now it’s time for you to leave.”
“Just like that?” he asked incredulously.
When she didn’t answer, he merely turned and left her standing in the kitchen staring after him. Several minutes later, he returned and she was still standing in the exact same place. He didn’t look at her. He merely placed her front door key on the table between them, then he strode out of the room. She heard the door slam moments after.
Iris grabbed the top of the nearest chair and crumpled into it. Tears stabbed at her eyes and she tried to blink them back, but she couldn’t. She let them fall.
A door opened and Iris heard the pitter-patter of feet and looked up to see Jayden. “Did I hear the front door? Where’s Daddy?” He glanced around and then behind him.
Iris wiped the tears away. “He had to leave a bit early, but I’m sure you’ll see him soon.” But she wouldn’t. Iris doubted she’d ever see him again.
* * *
Dane shook his head in disbelief as his driver drove him to his Venice Beach house. He still couldn’t believe it. Why was she turning her back on him? On the family they’d been creating?
All his life, he’d desperately wanted to feel like he was a part of the Stewart family, but he’d always felt he was an outsider among his own kin. Fallon and their father had always had a special relationship and as for Nora, theirs wasn’t the typical mother-son connection. He and his mother couldn’t be more different. It was why he’d left Austin to come to Los Angeles. It was here he discovered he belonged in front of a camera. He could come alive and become somebody else. Was it because he’d never truly liked who he was to begin with?
With Iris and Jayden, Dane felt like he finally belonged. He had a family to call his own. He hadn’t even realized he’d needed that until the thought of not being part of one left him cold and empty inside. Since he’d found he had a son, Dane hadn’t felt trapped. Instead, a scared yet wondrous joy had taken root inside him and he’d felt happy. Happier than he’d been in a long time. Of course he was angry life had dealt Jayden a raw deal with his disease, but Dane felt strongly the bone marrow transplant would work and if it didn’t, they’d try everything until his boy was healed.
And then there was Iris. Beautiful, sweet Iris. It had been only several months, but in their short time together, he’d felt comfort and ease, as well as laughter and sorrow—not to mention desire and passion. When he was with her, he lost total control and rather than scaring him, he’d given in to it. He’d allowed himself to feel whatever he was feeling because Iris wasn’t like any woman he’d ever met. She wasn’t trying to get anything from him and because of that, his feelings had grown.
At first, he hadn’t been able to identify them because other than Fallon he’d never really loved anyone, but Iris was easy to love. And now that he’d finally found the one, he was afraid of losing her. But what could he do? She’d all but kicked him out of her home.
Eventually the SUV came to a halt and Dane hopped out and punched in the code. His bodyguards knew better than to come in. He was in a surly mood and he needed to be alone to lick his wounds in private. Once inside, he slammed the door and immediately began stripping off his clothes. A punishing swim in the ocean was exactly what he needed to take the edge off.
An hour later Dane felt no better, even after letting the waves wash over him. He was angry. Angry with Iris for turning her back on him. Even though he’d never thought about having a family, he’d thought they were going in that direction. Instead, he felt as if he’d been sucker punched by the woman he loved.
After showering and dressing, Dane reached for his phone and used FaceTime to call the one person he could turn to.
“Hey, Dane.” Fallon’s image appeared on the screen. “To what do I owe the pleasure of a call at this time, and on a weekday, no less?”
“Iris dumped me and I have no idea why.”
“What?” The stunned expression on Fallon’s face must have been exactly how Dane looked when Iris delivered her harsh words this morning. “Dane, what are you talking about?”
“This morning, after we’d had such a wonderful night together, Iris started a fight. Told me she didn’t have time to spend cuddling with me. Pretty much acted as if I was insignificant in her or Jayden’s life. I don’t understand any of it, Fallon. Why would she do something like this?”
“This makes absolutely no sense. The Iris I met clearly adores you. She was so excited to surprise you with our visit. It showed me how invested she was in your relationship. I can’t believe she’d cast you aside so easily.”
“Well, she did,” Dane stated, running his hand over his head. “And for the life of me I don’t know why. I’ve tried to be the best father I can for Jayden.”
“And you have been, Dane. I mean, you never expected to become a father after being a sperm donor, but I’ve seen you rise to the occasion. No pun intended.”
“Thanks, Fallon.”
“No, I mean it. When I was there I saw how much you loved your son and that you’d do anything for him. And for Iris.”
“Then why did she push me away as if I was nothing to her? Do you have any idea how humiliating and embarrassing this is? I’ve risked everything to be with her, Fallon. My reputation, my career, my brand, because I thought we were building a future together. And now I find it’s made of sand.”
“Don’t say that, Dane. Don’t give up on her. There has to be an explanation for Iris’s actions.”
“If you can find one, I’m listening. Because all I hear right now is my team telling me to take it slow. ‘You don’t have to have a ready-made family, Dane. You can be a father to your son without being Iris’s husband.’ But no, I had to go all in, guns blazing.”
“Wait a sec.” Fallon was silent for several minutes. “Did you say husband?”
Dane rolled his eyes. He’d been hoping to gloss over that part, but Fallon had heard him. “Yeah, I was seriously considering asking Iris to marry me.”
“Marry you? Omigod, Dane, that’s wonderful!”
“Like hell it is,” Dane roared. “She wants no part of me, Fallon, and I’m not going to sit at home spinning my wheels trying to figure her out. I’m going to take charge of my life and do what I do best—make movies.”
“Oh, Dane, running away won’t solve the problem.”
“Really, Fallon? As I recall, you kept Gage at arm’s length for months when you were pregnant with Dylan.”
“Hey...that’s not fair. And that situation was different. Gage lied to me and violated my trust. We had a lot to work through. You and Iris can overcome your issues if you just give it a chance.”
“No,” Dane said definitively. “I’ll be there for Jayden, but me and Iris are done.”
Dane ended the call with his sister minutes later, but he didn’t feel any better. The thought of starting another movie left him cold, but what choice did he have? Iris didn’t want him. He could go back to the life he had before, when he had an endless selection of willing bedmates. But the thought of sleeping with anyone else made his skin crawl and he couldn’t stomach thinking of Iris with another man.
All he wanted to do right now was call her and make sure she was okay. He was a fool. She’d probably felt only gratitude to him for reintroducing her to sex. He should be flattered and m
ove on, but he couldn’t. And once it was time for the bone marrow transplant, he would have to see Iris more frequently. How was he supposed to navigate being beside her but not with her? There was an ache in his chest that wouldn’t go away and he was beginning to realize what it was.
He was heartbroken.
Sixteen
“I want you to arrange a meeting with George Murphy,” Dane told Jason when his manager stopped by the following day.
“What brought on the change?” Jason inquired. “I thought you were going to focus on ‘your family.’” He made air quotes with his hands.
“If you’re talking about my son, I’ll be there when I can for his treatments and certainly back in enough time for the transplant.”
“Actually no, I wasn’t talking about Jayden. Correct me if I’m wrong, but weren’t you going to ask Iris to marry you?”
“Iris and I are over,” Dane said, turning away to face the massive infinity pool in his backyard. He didn’t see the look of pure joy cross Jason’s face.
“Oh? When did that happen?”
“Does it matter?” Dane asked, turning back around. “All you need to know is I’m taking your advice and focusing on my career.”
“I’m ecstatic you’re heeding my advice, but are you okay?”
“I will be once I get back to work, so find me something. Anything at this point, but I need to get the bloody hell out of Los Angeles.”
“I’m on it,” Jason said and then walked toward him to place his hand on his shoulder. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry this happened. I know how much you cared for Iris.”
Dane was thankful when Jason had finally gone. He couldn’t bear to see the smug look on his face that he was right about Iris and him. How could he have been so wrong?
“Dane, I don’t mean to interfere, but are you sure you don’t want to take some time, ya know...?” He heard Morgan’s voice trail off behind him.
“To mope around and feel sorry for myself that my girl dumped me?” Dane inquired. “No thanks, Morgan. It’s better if I get back to work as soon as possible.”
“What about your family? Maybe talking to your dad might help. Henry Stewart, right?”
Dane frowned. “Yeah, that’s him, but I don’t have those kind of parents. Thank you for caring, though.”
“You’re welcome.”
He appreciated his assistant trying to help, but the more he thought about Iris’s behavior, the angrier he got. He wanted to go over there and give her a piece of his mind, but in the end it would solve nothing. He’d still be back where he was in this purgatory where his mind and heart were at war. His mind told him to move on, focus on his career, while his heart...his heart told him to fight for what he wanted and never let go.
His mind won out.
* * *
It had been seven days, four hours, thirty-eight minutes and five seconds since Dane had walked out her door. Iris recalled to the minute detail the look of utter hurt that crossed his beautiful face when she’d told him to leave his key and get out.
She’d done it for all the right reasons. Because she loved him and would do anything for him, including give him up for the greater good. Dane was tanking his career to be with her and Jayden and she couldn’t let that happen.
But why did it have to hurt so hard?
She missed sleeping beside him night after night, missed cuddling close to the rock-hard wall of his chest. She craved the intimacy they shared. She missed rousing him from sleep with a kiss on his sensuous mouth and the intoxicatingly addictive passion Dane brought out in her. Somehow he’d seen through her—to the loneliness she’d carried with her for years.
Another part of her was angry too.
Why hadn’t Dane fought harder to save what they had? Iris knew it was irrational to think this way when she was the cause of the breakup. Somewhere deep down, Iris wanted Dane to fight for her, fight for them. Show her he wouldn’t give up on her so easily when times were tough. But he hadn’t. He’d accepted the easy way out and left, leaving her shell-shocked.
The pain was so excruciating, Iris hadn’t wanted to get out of bed. If it hadn’t been for Jayden coming to wake her up, he would have been late for his chemo treatments. Jayden was starting to suspect something was wrong because he’d never seen her in the dumps. The only time Iris had been like this was after the accident. She hadn’t wanted to leave the house then because she’d felt ugly. It wasn’t healthy for her to stay in this headspace and Iris knew it was pointless to wallow in the grief, but she couldn’t seem to help herself.
So it was no surprise on the eighth day when her sister made an appearance. “Iris?” Shelly called out as she let herself inside the bungalow. “Where are you?”
“In here,” Iris called out from her bedroom.
Minutes later, Shelly appeared in the doorway. She was dressed for work in a knee-length skirt, silk blouse and pumps. “Why are you still in bed? It’s the middle of the week, for Christ’s sake.”
“I’m tired,” Iris said, sinking lower into the covers.
“That’s not what my nephew tells me.” Shelly came into the room and opened all the blinds before sitting on the bed.
How was it that, in just a short time, Iris had come to think of the right side as her side of the bed? Why? Because Dane favored the left side, that was why. “Did Jayden rat on me?”
“If you mean did he call his auntie to tell me his mother won’t get out of bed and has missed the last week of work? Then yes, he ratted you out.”
Iris leaned backward against the pillows. “I’m sorry he did that. I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not fine.” Shelly pulled back the covers so she could see Iris’s face.
Iris shuddered to think what she must look like. After crying on and off for days, her eyes were probably swollen and puffy, her nose red from constantly blowing it. “Go home, Shelly, and leave me be.”
“I can’t do that, Iris. Jayden needs you to be on top of your game, especially if his father is MIA these days. And two, whatever it is, whatever is going on between you and Dane, surely it can be fixed.”
Iris shook her head. “Don’t you get it, Shelly? It can’t be fixed!” she wailed. “Don’t you think if it could, I wouldn’t be in this state?”
Shelly clutched her chest. “What on earth could have happened? Last time I saw Dane was at our parents’ for dinner a couple of weeks ago, and the man was walking on cloud nine.”
“We broke up,” Iris blurted. “Correction. I broke up with Dane.”
Shelly’s eyes grew large. “Why would you do such a thing?”
“Because—Look at me, Shelly. I’m nothing special. I’m not like the beautiful starlets with the perfect bodies he’s used to being with.”
“You’re not giving yourself enough credit. You’re more than just your looks.”
“But I’m bringing Dane down. He’s worked so hard to get to where he is and he’s turning down movies because of me.”
“And Jayden,” Shelly clarified. “Let’s not forget he has a son.”
“A son he had no idea he had. And now all of a sudden, we’ve blown through his life like a tornado, leaving nothing but damage in our wake.”
“That’s not true, Iris. I saw how happy Dane was. How happy you were. Together. I’m not wrong about that. You told me yourself you were in love with him. Why would you break up with him?”
“To set him free. I don’t want him to feel obligated to be with me.”
“So he could be America’s Sexiest Man Alive? Did you for once think that maybe, just maybe, Dane might want more in his life than the superficiality of Hollywood? That having you and Jayden in his life has grounded him?”
Tears slid down Iris’s cheeks. “If—if I allowed myself to think that, Shelly, then I’ve just made the biggest mistake of my life.”
“I’m sorry to tell you, sis, but you did,” Shelly stated matter-of-factly. “You’re not holding Dane back. You’ve given him so much more. A son, love and a family. Sure that’s worth fighting for. So my question to you is, what are you going to do to fix it?”
“I can’t fix it.”
“Au contraire,” Shelly said. “I know how stubborn you can be when you put your mind to something. Remember how adamant you were about no more reconstructive surgeries? Because I do. Be that determined again. Show Dane that woman. Tell him you love him and I promise you he’ll take you back.”
Was Shelly right? Should she try to repair the damage she’d made of their relationship? As for Jayden, she was certain Dane would still donate because he’d been willing to do so before he knew he was Jayden’s father. However, their relationship would be strained and she didn’t want to do anything that would jeopardize Jayden’s well-being. Not to mention he’d miss having his father in his life day-to-day. She had to do whatever she could to repair the rift she’d caused between her and Dane. Because they deserved love and happiness for themselves and their son.
“What if it’s too late? What if he turns me away?” Iris was scared that she might have done irreparable harm.
Shelly smiled. “You showing up to fight for him should be more than enough to melt the ice. But you’ll have to take a risk and lay yourself bare and be completely honest with him.”
Iris threw back her covers and stood. “All right, you’ve talked some sense into me. I’m going to get my man back.”
“’Atta girl!” Shelly cheered.
Iris just hoped Dane would forgive her and if he didn’t, she’d keep trying until he did.
* * *
“Can’t you get anything right? I asked for a Perrier,” Dane snapped at Morgan the following day.
“Of course. I’ll get right on that,” Morgan said before rushing away.
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