by Amy Pine
“Matthew Bloom,” she scolded. “Let me see your hand.”
He sighed and held his hand out to show broken skin on the top knuckles of his index, middle, and ring fingers, the last two also starting to swell.
“Come on,” she said. “Let’s get you some ice and go listen to Gigi’s poetry reading. Can you climb down okay?”
Her father rolled his eyes. “I’m. Fine.” But he wasn’t arguing with her about coming down. He started to descend without another word.
“We just need to clean up from the cake,” she called after him. “I’m texting Mom to get you some ice.”
She thought she saw his mouth open as he reached the bottom, but she’d already closed the door and pulled out her phone.
Dad hurt his hand in the tree-house trapdoor. Will explain later if he doesn’t explain first. Please make sure he gets some ice. Ethan and I will be there in a few.
“How bad was your dad’s hand?” Ethan asked as soon as she put her phone away. “Will I at least have time to get a running start?”
Gabi shook her head and laughed. “He’s okay, I think. But we should probably table the twenty-foot-high club.”
“Um, we’re definitely tabling that. Like, forever. Or until your dad forgives me. Which will be never. Do I need to leave the country?”
She crawled back over to him and nudged his shoulder with her own. “Not without me, mister.” Then she kissed him, melting into his embrace, until Gabi’s phone buzzed in her hand.
“Yeah, we should go,” they both said, jumping apart as if they’d just been caught again.
Chapter Fifteen
Alissa sat in her paper gown, legs in the stirrups, with a copy of Pregnancy magazine in her lap.
“Here,” Becca had said. “I thought you might like to read this while you wait.”
They’d agreed that Becca would handle any appointments that didn’t require internal exams and that Alissa would see one of the partners when it came to the more intimate procedures. Who delivered the baby was up to the baby, because that job fell to the obstetrician on call.
Alissa narrowed her eyes at the article advertised in bold white font on the magazine’s cover. HAVING A BABY AFTER 40—RISKS AND REWARDS.
She wasn’t sure if it was the article title that rankled her, the fact that Becca had thought she might want to read it, or the reality that it was a quarter past the hour and Matthew still hadn’t shown up.
A knock sounded on the door, and her stupid heart leapt.
What if it’s Matt? her heart asked.
“Come in!” she called. “I’m ready.”
The door opened, and Becca walked in with her perfect ponytail in her perfectly pressed white coat—the epitome of having her shit together—to find Alissa, her curly hair tumbling out of its bun, her gown possibly on backward, and alone.
Becca winced and Alissa’s heart sank just as quickly as it had involuntarily leapt.
See? she told it. And stop calling him Matt.
“He did just start a new job,” Becca said, reading Alissa’s mind. Or maybe it was her overall expression of misguided hope being dashed yet again.
“I’m fine,” Alissa lied. “He had his chance, and he blew it. Now I know where we stand.”
Becca blew out a breath. “Okay. If you’re ready, I’m ready. What should we do first, take a look or a listen?”
Alissa opened her mouth to answer but didn’t get the chance.
The door flew open, and Matthew burst into the room in his navy botanic garden T-shirt and a pair of well-fitting Dockers. It was a good look, as was the desperate expression on his face.
Alissa bit back a grin and cleared her throat.
“You’re fifteen minutes late,” she said coolly, not willing to let him off the hook that easily. This was only day one of him proving he was in this for real. She couldn’t trust him yet.
“I know,” he said, breathing labored. “I got stuck on a conference call that was supposed to end at two thirty but went long, and I was leading the call and didn’t exactly want to out your pregnancy to a bunch of strangers when we haven’t even told our daughter yet, and—and I know this doesn’t change the fact that I’m late, but I didn’t forget, Liss. I also didn’t want to wait for the elevator, so I took the stairs. If I could just get a minute—”
He pressed a palm to the wall and the other on his knee.
Becca arched a brow and gave her sister a conspiratorial look, one that said, Cut him some slack. He’s trying. And he just ran up five double flights of stairs.
Why Becca was going so easy on him was beyond Alissa, but she had to admit the whole running-up-the-stairs part was pretty sweet.
“Do you need a refreshment?” Alissa asked drily.
Matthew nodded. “I know that was sarcasm, but yeah. Some water would be great.”
Becca laughed softly, then spun toward the exam room counter where she unscrewed the top from a small cylindrical container and filled it with water from the sink.
“Here,” she said, offering him the cup.
Matthew’s eyes widened, and Alissa snorted.
“Isn’t that a urine sample cup?” he asked.
Becca nodded matter-of-factly. “Sure is. Unused, of course. See? Just broke the seal on the label.”
Matthew reached a hesitant hand toward the offered beverage.
Alissa rolled her eyes. “Aren’t you the one who professed that if we were ever in an apocalypse and ran out of water, we could survive on drinking our own pee for a couple of days?” She shuddered at the thought.
He took the water. “There’s a difference between a worst-case scenario and wondering if your water might be inadvertently flavored with someone else’s residue. But since I trust our lovely doctor…” He shrugged. “Bottoms up.” And then he downed the water in two gulps, punctuating the action with a satisfied sigh.
“Can we start now?” Alissa asked, growing impatience in her tone.
Becca nodded with a smile. “Sure, but…um…you don’t need to be in the stirrups, Liss. I only do the external stuff, remember?”
Alissa groaned and scrambled out of the stirrups with the grace of a baby giraffe taking its first steps. “Force of habit,” she said with a nervous laugh.
“And not that I’m judging, but did I hear correctly that you still haven’t told Gabi?” Becca added.
“Not yet,” Alissa said. “She has so much on her plate already, and I don’t even know what we’d tell her right now. It’s not just announcing the baby but also what that means about us.” She motioned between herself and Matthew. “Is Matt really staying in town for good? Are we co-parents in the sense that we’re doing this fifty-fifty, or is it going to be like it was before?” She glanced at Matthew. “I want to be able to answer our daughter’s questions, you know?”
“I know,” Matthew said. “We haven’t even discussed living arrangements or a custody agreement.”
Alissa’s throat tightened. Living arrangements? Custody agreement? What happened to him proving he was in this for real? Not that she wanted him to do that, because that would mean hoping, and Alissa didn’t hope when it came to her and Matt. Not anymore. As free-spirited as they were, the one thing Matt’s parents didn’t mess around with was Gabi, their only grandchild. Knowing there was a new one on the way while she and Matt were anything but a couple? Any talk of custody had Matthew’s parents written all over it.
“It sounds like you’ve told Gigi and Gramps,” she said. “I wish you would have let me know before you did.”
He gave her a pointed look. “Like you consulted me before telling my sister?”
“She guessed!” Alissa said, throwing her hands in the air.
“Well, so did my mother. You know how easily she’s always been able to read me. She saw me look at you the second the word doula came out of her mouth at the engagement party, and she freaking knew.”
That was the last time they’d seen each other, a little over two weeks ago when she’d met him
in the kitchen after the unfortunate tree-house trapdoor incident.
“You want to tell me what happened?” she’d asked, holding out a bag of frozen peas and asking for his hand in return.
“Nope,” he’d said, reluctantly setting his injured hand on the kitchen counter, Alissa wincing when she saw the damage.
She’d slid her palm under his and then lowered the peas onto his battered but not broken fingers.
He’d hissed in a breath, and she’d wanted to kiss him, to ease his pain in the only way she knew how. But someone could walk in on them any second. And what a hypocrite would she have been, after putting a stop to their physical relationship since that was all it had been. Hadn’t it?
The word custody wormed its way back into her thoughts, and the memory of a tender moment between her and Matt gave way to the familiar hurt and anger.
“Gigi has known for two weeks?” she said. “You could have told me before now. What if she says something to Gabi before we’re ready?”
He threw his hands in the air. “What if Sadie does? What if your sister does?”
“Right here, guys,” Becca chimed in, but neither Alissa nor Matt acknowledged her.
“So in two weeks you went from proving yourself to wanting custody of our unborn child?” Alissa accused, her throat tight and her eyes stinging.
“That’s not what I said,” Matthew countered. “I’m just looking out for my rights as a parent while you and I are in this gray area we might not ever escape.”
And from there, they escalated from bickering to full-throttle arguing in a matter of seconds, to the extent that Alissa hadn’t noticed her sister opening her paper gown or squirting the warm gel on her belly. She was so ensconced in her debate with Matthew that she didn’t even feel the wand her sister pressed against her skin. It wasn’t until a sort of galloping noise filled the room that both she and Matthew fell silent and Alissa realized what had been going on while she and Matt had fallen back into old patterns.
She gasped, and Matthew grabbed her hand.
“Oh my God,” he said.
“Oh my God,” she echoed.
“That’s our baby,” he added.
“That’s our baby,” she parroted once more because apparently Alissa had no more words of her own.
“That’s your baby,” Becca said with a grin. “Congratulations, Mom and Dad.”
* * *
Matthew and Becca stepped out of the room while Alissa got dressed. Matt said he’d wait for her in the reception area, though she wasn’t sure what for. And Becca would be back in a few minutes to give Alissa her file to bring up front to check out.
Alissa was—pregnant. Like, holy hell this was for real. Which, of course, she’d known for weeks, but seeing the baby and hearing it made everything sink in. She was going to be a mom again. At forty. When her grown daughter was getting married.
Alissa pulled her pink TAKE THE CAKE T-shirt over her head and tucked it into her skinny jeans. At twelve weeks, she was grateful she still fit into her clothes—the ones that stretched, at least. Looked like the years of yoga had actually paid off because right now, other than feeling a little bloated, there were no physical signs of the pregnancy that others might notice—except maybe for her boobs filling out her bra a little more—so she was in the clear for a while as far as telling Gabi.
Gabi.
Ugh. Alissa hated keeping anything from her daughter, but how could she explain this when she couldn’t even explain it to herself?
A knock sounded on the door.
“Come in, Bex,” she said, knowing it was her sister.
Alissa was redoing her bun when her sister opened the door, medical chart in hand. But instead of ushering Alissa toward the exit, Becca closed the door behind her.
“You wanna talk about it?” Becca asked. “I have a few minutes before my next patient.”
Alissa sighed, and her shoulders slumped. “You mean the living arrangements and custody agreement?”
Becca winced. “Yeah. That would be the it I was referring to. Seemed like it hit you hard. Liss, were you hoping this was going to mean you and Matthew getting back together?”
Alissa scoffed. “God, no,” she protested. “Of course not. Been there. Done that. Didn’t work out.”
Becca raised her brows. “You know I know when you’re lying, right? Your scoff is your tell. Every time. It all goes back to the time when—”
“When Mom dropped me at the mall with my friends to go see Sleepless in Seattle and we sneaked into Indecent Proposal instead,” she interrupted, finishing the memory. “You’re the one who ratted me out, by the way.”
Becca had wanted to tag along, but Alissa just wanted time alone with her friends without her annoying little sister, especially when she knew they were going to be seeing a movie that was so not appropriate for a seven-year-old, no matter how precocious she was. Evelyn had relented but must have been suspicious because she’d quizzed her about the movie later that night.
“I just love that Tom Hanks,” her mother had said at dinner. “Such great chemistry with Meg Ryan, don’t you think, Alissa?”
Alissa had shrugged, keeping her eyes on her plate and the lemon chicken her mom had made for dinner that night. She remembered because she’d been studying the veins of the lemon slice on top of the chicken breast as the inquisition took place.
“Sure, I guess,” she’d remarked, which wasn’t exactly a lie.
“And that Rosie O’Donnell. So funny, right?” her mom continued.
“I get it, Mom,” Alissa said. “You like the movie too.” Ah, what a typical preteen she was.
Her mom had folded her hands under her chin, and her dad looked on as a spectator, which was usually his role in situations like this.
“I’m glad you liked it, sweetheart. Because when Becca said she overheard you on the phone telling Jill you really wanted to see that Robert Redford movie…What is it again? Oh, Indecent Proposal…Well, your sister was worried you were going to do something silly like try to see an R-rated movie instead, but I know you’d never do that, right?”
Her dad’s eyes widened in response.
Becca had crossed her arms and given Alissa a self-satisfied grin.
And Alissa? Alissa scoffed. Loud. And then crossed her own arms. “Right,” she’d said with a nervous laugh.
“Good,” Evelyn had said with a sigh. “But it was so sad when Tom Hanks’s character hit Meg Ryan’s character with his car and she got amnesia and forgot that she’d fallen in love with him. Wasn’t that part sad?”
Another scoff. “Super sad,” Alissa said, overselling it and driving the lie home. Because anyone who was anyone knew no such scene ever happened in Sleepless in Seattle. At least, Alissa knew that now.
“I got grounded for two weeks after that,” Alissa said, the memory bringing back the old hurt. “And then I had to take you to see Dennis the Menace and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Three, both of which I thought were punishment enough.”
Becca laughed. “Which brings me back to the scoff. ’Fess up, sis.”
Alissa groaned. “I don’t know, okay? Matt said he wants to prove to me that he’s here to stay, that he’s all in. Even after I put the kibosh on all the sex we were having. I guess I thought that meant us and not just the baby.”
Becca’s mouth fell open. “All the sex? You and Matt? And you kept this little nugget of information from me?”
Alissa shrugged and smiled sheepishly. “Remember my new first-trimester symptom? My, um, libido going into hyperdrive? It just sort of happened. And then it happened again. And maybe a time or two after that. It was just sex. At least, we both agreed that was all it would be. But it’s Matt, and there’s so much history there, and Bex…he was my first love and maybe the love of my life, you know? But as soon as I realized my emotions were getting mixed up with—um—more primal needs, I pulled the brakes on the whole thing and went straight back to my pink battery-powered friend.”
An alarm sounded on
Becca’s watch.
“Shit,” she hissed. “My next patient is waiting. Sorry! Yoga tomorrow morning?” she asked. “We can debrief more then?”
Alissa nodded and forced a smile. “Yep. I’ll be there.”
Becca handed her the chart to bring back up to reception, then pulled Alissa in for a quick hug.
“You can do this, Liss. No matter what happens with Matthew, you’re going to kick butt as a mom again,” she said with so much conviction that Alissa almost believed her. Then Becca gasped.
“What?” Alissa asked. “And please don’t comment with anything about this being a geriatric pregnancy.”
Becca laughed. “No. No. But I just had the best idea to get your mind off all this. Jeff’s partner at the firm, Chris, just got divorced.”
Alissa’s brows drew together. “And that’s good news?”
“He only gets his kids every other weekend, which means he has a lot of free time. It’s not anything bad, like that he didn’t want them. But his wife—er, ex-wife—kept the house in the school district, and he found a condo in the city near the law firm, so it just sort of made sense. Anyway, he’s looking to get back onto the dating scene. He just got on all the apps. I bet if you swipe through one of yours, you’ll find him. He’s thirty-five, tall, good-looking, brown hair, and green eyes. And—”
“And he’s looking for an older pregnant woman?”
Becca waved her off. “He’s just looking to have fun and get his mind off the divorce. Maybe you should go out and have fun and get your mind off things for a while. Get some perspective. If the Matt thing is just custody and living arrangements, if you don’t want to go down that road with him again, then what’s the harm in meeting someone new? When’s the last time you were on a date?”
Alissa was still on a few dating apps but hadn’t checked them in months. She tried to do the calculations in her head, but her pause was enough to give Becca her answer.
“Consider it a done deal,” her sister said. “I’ll set it up, and you can thank me later. Gotta run!”
She didn’t give Alissa a chance to protest or accept before slipping out the door and on to her next patient.