The warm feeling Elizabeth experienced while listening to Mr Darcy declare himself faded a little as his declaration threw up another question in her mind.
“But in time, Mr Darcy, would your passion wane and give way to regret?”
“Never,” he replied firmly.
Elizabeth rose and took a few paces away from him, before turning to say,
“Sir, did you not say only yesterday, that you had overcome your objections to my family, to my lack of fortune and the deficiency of me having any worthy connections, to make me this offer? How then, do I know that these feelings will not resurface in the future in the form of resentment?”
She looked down for a moment, then, nervously she wet her lips, lifted her chin and in a faltering voice, said,
“I could not bear to be married to a man, who… after the first flush of passion had faded…regretted me.”
“Knowing I love you, is still new to you, Elizabeth, but I have lived with these feelings for many weeks and months now. It does not diminish, Elizabeth, but grows stronger each day. I do not anticipate a downturn in my affection.”
“And my family, sir, could you overcome your feelings of degradation at being associated with such relations? To withstand the censure of society for such a connection?”
The Bennet’s, it was true, would not normally be in his circle of acquaintances, not by choice anyway, but they were Elizabeth’s family, and she could not be separated from them.
“I am ashamed for expressing such sentiments, Miss Bennet. However, I considered all my objections thoroughly before I returned to Hertfordshire. There is no eventuality that I am not prepared for, either from your family, from my family or from society in general. The opportunity to spend my lifetime loving you, Elizabeth, is worth it.”
Elizabeth coloured at his frankness, but his words were reassuring.
“And my family, sir, you would allow me to visit them?”
“I would have no objections to you visiting your family from time to time, within reason, of course. Also, I want to assure you, Miss Bennet, that I would take my responsibility of caring for my extended family very seriously.”
Elizabeth took comfort in this. Darcy had declared his intention to look after her mother and sisters when her father died. It had been another concern she had wanted to raise, but it appeared that also had been considered, and resolved by Mr Darcy.
“Thank you, sir,” Elizabeth said, sounding a little breathless as her emotions rose.
Taking a moment to regain her composure, Elizabeth asked,
“And where would we live, Mr Darcy?”
“Mainly at my estate in Derbyshire. I consider Pemberley my home, Miss Bennet. I would, of course, take you to London as often, or as seldom as you wished, but my hope would be that you too, would grow to love Pemberley as I do.”
“And the duration of our engagement?”
“Does that mean you accept my offer, Elizabeth?” Darcy asked, unable to conceal the eagerness in his voice.
“Perhaps...” Elizabeth said hesitantly.
Hardly hearing the hesitation in her voice, Darcy went on to say,
“I would like for us to be married before the New Year, Miss Bennet. I have been away from Pemberley for some time now, and although my estate manager can oversee most of the business, there are some things that I must tend to in person.”
“So soon,” Elizabeth said aloud as she thought of all that must be done.
Darcy waited, his breath caught in his throat as she paused to think. His entire future happiness rested in the palm of Elizabeth’s hand. She had the power to make him the happiest man alive, or to crush him in an instant. To cause him ecstasy or despair, euphoria or desolation, joy or sorry. It was alien to him, to feel powerless with the direction of his own fate.
“Are you quite sure you want to marry me, Mr Darcy? Knowing that at present I do not return your sentiment, that I may never return your sentiment in an equal measure?” she asked finally.
Darcy stood, and closed the short space between them. Then, taking hold of her upper arms, his voice ladened with a myriad of emotions, he said,
“I do. But Elizabeth, if you accept me, it is to be a full marriage, not one of convenience. I will love you and protect you, honour you and cherish you. I will respect you and defend you, provide all you need, and give you all you want. All this I will do gladly, but in return, you must give me your loyalty, your attention, your respect and your time, and although you do not love me now, you must be willing to try to love me. We will be man and wife in the full, biblical sense, Elizabeth, and your favours are to be given only to me. Is that clear?”
Mesmerised by the passion of his speech, Elizabeth look up at him with wide eyes, and could only nod, and say,
“Yes, I understand.”
She had never been witness to such ardour before. His words left her in no doubt as to the strength and passion of his love, his desire for her, and she felt breathless and overwhelmed by this knowledge.
“Is there anything else you wish to ask me? Any concern you might have that I have not attended to?”
Elizabeth could think of no other objection to his proposal. He had addressed all her concerns and soothed all her fears. There was nothing left to do now but give him her answer.
In a soft voice, Elizabeth said,
“Would you ask me the question again, Mr Darcy?”
Daring to feel optimistic, Darcy felt his pulse quicken, but he would not let his guard down, or his hopes rise until he had a firm yes or no.
Deciding to repeat his proposal in the established mode, Darcy fell onto one knee, and taking her childlike hands into his own, he asked,
“Miss Bennet, Elizabeth, it would be my greatest honour, if you would accept my hand in marriage and consent to be my wife.”
Elizabeth looked down. His strong hands were surprisingly tender as he absently stroked the back of her hands with his thumbs. Could she ask for anything more from a husband than what Mr Darcy had offered? She did not think so. He had promised her everything. His heart, his protection, his wealth, his respect, his devotion and his love. Yes…his love
Having made her decision, Elizabeth felt calm as she lowered her eyes to meet his, and replied,
“I will.”
Chapter Seven
Darcy stood, and he raised Elizabeth up with him. He lifted his hand and brushed her cheek with the back of his fingers, silently admiring the softness of her skin. Letting his hand wander down, Darcy traced the outline of her mouth with his thumb. She was so beautiful; how could he ever have thought her plain. He cringed as he recalled the unwarranted slight he had delivered when first he made her acquaintance, and now… there was no other that could be compared to the exquisite face before him. He wanted to kiss her, to possess her lips, to let her know that there would be no denying him, not now, not ever.
Slowly, he lowered his head
The entirety of the time Darcy had been caressing her face Elizabeth looked up into his eyes, compelled to return his gaze. She knew he was about to kiss her, to lay claim to her. He would kiss her because now he had that right to kiss her.
It was a soft kiss, a brief kiss, but nevertheless a kiss of ownership. She had accepted him, and now he had the right to become familiar with her, intimate with her. First her mouth, and soon her body.
Elizabeth did not return the kiss. Having never been kissed before it was a new and strange experience for her, though not an unpleasant one. Soon, she would become accustomed to such liberties, and maybe in time, she would learn to enjoy and return such expressions of affection.
As Darcy broke away and raised his head, Elizabeth saw a smile break over his face as she had never seen before. He was happy. She had made him happy. Now, she hoped, and yes, prayed that he would make her happy too.
Having agreed to marry him, Elizabeth expected Mr Darcy to go to her father to seek his blessing. However, to find that he had already spoken to him was a shock. Elizabeth felt as i
f she had somehow been…manoeuvred into accepting his offer. Who else had prior knowledge of his impending proposal, she wondered.
“If you will excuse me, sir, I must go and speak to my father. I am sure he will be eager to share our news with the rest of my family,” She said, leaving Darcy to cool his heels alone, in the back parlour.
“So, you have accepted Mr Darcy. Well, Lizzy, I can’t say I am surprised.”
“You suspected that I would, Papa?”
“Opposites attract, although you do share some interests, you are quite unlike in the essentials, Lizzy. Still, I do believe if anyone can soften Mr Darcy’s character, it’s you.”
“We have your blessing then, Papa?”
Mr Bennet knew Elizabeth would not have accepted Mr Darcy’s proposal if she was not content to do so, but he could not stop himself from asking,
“But you do not love him, Lizzy?”
Having ridiculed Mr Darcy on several occasions with her papa, Elizabeth suspected that he would ask this question. However, she predicted that he already knew the answer.
Choosing her words with care, she said,
“I will, in time. We have spoken at length this morning, and Mr Darcy has acquitted himself very well. We discussed several issues that I voiced my concern over, and he addressed them all to my satisfaction.” Seeing her father’s concern, worried that his favourite child would be unhappy, Elizabeth leant forward in her chair and touched his hand.
“Mr Darcy loves me, Papa, and I must be sensible. Am I likely to meet another man of such consequence? For him to fall in love with me, and brave societies censure to make me his wife? I do not think so. It is a good offer, Papa…I will be happy,”
Mr Bennet placed one of his hands over Elizabeth’s and gave a weak smile. So, he was to lose his muse, his companion, his daughter. He would miss her terribly.
Elizabeth closed the door of her father’s study and made her way back to where she had left Mr Darcy. As she neared the door, which was still ajar, she could hear her mother’s voice, filling the hallway with excited chatter.
“Oh, Mr Darcy, how sly you are. I did not know that you thought of Lizzy in that way, as a marriage candidate. And to think, Lizzy…our Lizzy is to be mistress of Pemberley. You have several carriages I expect, and a house in town as well as your estate in Derbyshire? Yes of course you do, what am I saying…”
“Mamma, there will be ample time to speak to Mr Darcy of such things later. I suspect he is eager to be on his way,” turning red-faced to Mr Darcy, Elizabeth continued, “If we go out the back door, I can walk you to the stable yard.”
Having endured several minutes of Mrs Bennet effervescing over his wealth and his assets, Darcy seized on Elizabeth’s suggested opportunity to escape.
He gave Mrs Bennet a faltering smile, bowed and then hurried after his betrothed.
Passing through the kitchen, Elizabeth picked up a carrot and an apple and then popped the carrot into her pocket.
Seeing Mr Darcy frown, she explained,
“One for Odin and the other is for me.” And she bit into the apple.
For part of the way, they walked in silence, neither sure of what to say now everything seemed settled between them.
Until Mr Darcy said,
“Your father was kind to you?”
“Papa is never unkind, sir, though he seemed to have anticipated my reply. Why is that, I wonder?”
Elizabeth cast him a questioning glance before turning her eyes forward again to continue along the path.
It was a reasonable question, and there was no logic to him hiding the fact that he had taken her father into his confidence.
Unabashed, he said,
“I made you father privy to my intentions several days before seeking you out. I knew…I assumed that without his blessing you would not accept me. Was I wrong?”
No longer in the mood to eat, Elizabeth looked down at her half-eaten apple sullenly. It irked her to think of Mr Darcy and her father being friends and sharing confidences, especially when she was the confidence. His assumption had been correct. While she had found him a difficult man to read, and considered she knew him very little, it appeared that Mr Darcy knew her quite well.
“No.”
They walked on for several minutes more, again with no words being exchanged. Though Darcy was comfortable with the silence between them, he sensed that his revelation had upset his companion. He wished he possessed the ability to talk freely and confidently as others did, but as a child, he was taught that men of his consequence did not have to seek out acquaintances or make an effort to please or appease others. His lofty position in society meant that he could cherry pick who he wanted to be friends with, and in general, ignore the remaining populace. It was widely known that the Master of Pemberley was not to be trifled with. But now, with his reputation firmly in place as a proud and somewhat difficult man, Darcy envied anyone who did not suffer the restraints that he suffered, namely a well-hidden shyness and fear of rejection.
Seeing Elizabeth’s displeasure with the apple, Darcy asked,
“Is the fruit not to your liking, Elizabeth?”
Unaccustomed to hearing him use her given name, Elizabeth bit back the set down that almost spilt from her lips. They were engaged, and he now had the right to call her Elizabeth, or even Lizzy if he so preferred. Although somehow, she just could not imagine Mr Darcy calling her Lizzy. No, for him she would always be Elizabeth.
Sighing, she wondered if she should now call him Fitzwilliam?
Pulling in a breath to give her reply, she went to say his name, Fitzwilliam, but at the last moment, an attack of nerves got the better of her.
“Fi…forgive me. I was wool-gathering. The apple is sweet, but I find that my appetite is gone.”
There was no need for Elizabeth to explain, Darcy knew she felt betrayed by her father and probably him too. After all, Elizabeth’s relationship with her father was a close one, uncommon in today’s society of wet nurses and nannies. Most parents chose to spend only a few hours a week with their offspring, but in Elizabeth’s case, and thankfully his own too, this was not true. But whereas Elizabeth’s bond was with her father, his own had been with his mother, Anne.
It was a poor start to their courtship.
“Elizabeth, as you know, I am almost eight and twenty, but you are the only woman I have asked to be my wife. Protocol dictated that I ask your fathers for his permission to court you. It grieves me to have caused you pain so soon into our engagement, but as a gentleman, it is important to me to adhere to the proprieties,” Darcy said.
There was truth in his words, but Elizabeth felt compelled to say,
“This is 1811, sir, not the dark ages.”
“The gossip mongers will have more than enough to talk about when they learn of our betrothal. I will not give them further cause to slander my good name, or by association Elizabeth, yours.”
Stung by his words, Elizabeth stopped walking and turned to face him.
“You sought me out, sir. If you feel being associated with my family and me such a degradation, you may withdraw your offer at any time.”
“You know that is not what I meant, Elizabeth,” Darcy said firmly. “I have, for a number of years, been considered a… desirable catch.” A vivid flush crept over his collar. “Every season there has been speculation about whom I would marry. Consequently, any woman I have shown more than a passing interest in has been drawn into this speculation. Theories about why I might choose her, interest in her circumstances, her background, her family. I would not want your family exposed or involved in such a media circus.”
Elizabeth felt thoroughly ashamed of herself, jumping to the conclusion that she had. Would Darcy berate her? He had every right to. While Darcy was thinking only of her family, and how best to protect them, she had assumed he was thinking of himself, his reputation, his pride.
“I…I am sorry. It was naïve of me to think that no-one beyond our families would be interested in our ma
rriage. I forget who I am engaged to.”
Darcy reached out, taking one of her hands and clasping it between his own.
“The Darcy’s have been one of the country’s leading families for generations, Elizabeth. People look to us to uphold the law and to lead by example. Unfortunately, this also means that people feel they have a right to know about every aspect of our lives. Thankfully, city reporters rarely venture as far north as Pemberley.” Seeing her downturned expression, Darcy chucked her under the chin and said,
“Once we are married, and back at Pemberley, I am sure the Prince Regent and Beau Brummel will draw the attention away from us.”
This did nothing to reassure Elizabeth. Now, she was even more concerned about marrying him.
“You think our marriage will draw media attention?”
“Possibly. But I know the editors of most of the reputable papers. They will be sympathetic in their coverage. The others are merely for gossip mongers. No-one of consequence reads them anyway.”
Elizabeth was pleased to know that Darcy was not overly concerned about the newspapers, but she did not dare reveal that her mother and younger sisters enjoyed pawing over such publication, relishing every bit of gossip concealed within their pages, whether it was true or not.
As they reached the stable yard, Elizabeth realised Mr Darcy still had hold of her hand, and she instantly felt awkward and self-conscious.
“The carrot is for Odin,” she said shyly.
Darcy brought her hand to his lips and placed a feather kiss on her fingers before releasing it.
Having retrieved the carrot from her pocket, Elizabeth waited for Odin to be drawn out and saddled.
Darcy stood by and watched his horse crunch greedily on the orange vegetable until Elizabeth fed him the last morsel. The grateful horse nuzzled her hand, searching for more, but when it became evident there was none, he happily let her pet him instead.
“Do you ride, Elizabeth?” Darcy asked.
“No. I have tried, but sitting at such an angle, well, I found it to be most uncomfortable. Now, if I could ride astride like a man…”
Mr Darcy's Proposal Page 6