by Connie Mason
“Where were you living?” a young man named Steve asked. Apparently everyone was more interested in her history than the food or music, Kitty lamented. She’d always known she wouldn’t fit in, and having to field embarrassing questions proved it.
“Strange that you should ask that,” Teresa said, gloating. “You’ll never guess where Ryan found Kitty. She was living with… ow! Why did you do that, Ryan?”
“I found Kitty living with her stepbrother and his … family,” Ryan informed those listening. “I convinced her to come to Tucson to meet her father. Bert is thrilled to finally have his daughter with him.”
Kitty stifled a smile at the way Teresa was rubbing her ankle.
“I for one am glad Kitty came to Tucson,” Norm proclaimed loudly. “I don’t care where she came from. It’s enough to have her here.”
Kitty could have kissed Norm for defending her. Ryan, too. Of the two, she’d rather kiss Ryan.
Further questions died of natural causes, and everyone drifted off to dance. Kitty listened to the music, tapping her toes to the rhythm and humming along.
“Would you like to dance?” Norm asked. “I do a credible two-step.”
Kitty flushed, embarrassed to admit another of her shortcomings. “I don’t dance.”
“No time like the present to learn.” Norm grasped her hand, pulled her to her feet, and dragged her into the barn, where the dancers were engaged in a lively reel. “Just follow me,” he yelled over the din.
Kitty learned something that night. Dancing came easily to her. She loved the music, the beat, the laughter… the fun. Fate had robbed her of the joy and companionship of her peers during her childhood when she should have been happy and carefree. Her unconventional upbringing made her feel like a misfit, but having a good time was definitely exhilarating.
Kitty danced with Norm and several other young men, but the one man she wanted to dance with hadn’t asked her. Ryan had danced with Teresa a time or two, and with others, spreading his charm around indiscriminately. Rogue Ryan seemed to be at his best tonight, and she wondered why she even cared. Tonight seemed to reinforce her conviction that Rogue Ryan wasn’t the kind to confine his attentions to one woman.
Chapter 12
It was nearly midnight. Norm had gone off to get Kitty something to drink before their long ride home. Kitty stood on the sidelines, watching the thinning crowd of dancers whirling about the dance floor. She sensed Ryan’s presence before she saw him, ever aware of where he was at any given time. She supposed it was because she loved him so much.
Then he was standing before her, tempting her with his smile. “Would you like to dance? They’re playing a waltz. I know you can waltz because I saw you with Tucker.”
“Norm makes dancing easy,” Kitty replied. “I’ve never danced before tonight.”
“I’ve been told I’m a good dancer,” Ryan boasted.
His words struck a responsive chord in her, and she couldn’t help returning his smile. Surely the devil made her say, “You’re good at many things, Ryan Delaney.”
He grinned, then burst into laughter. Kitty thought he had the sexiest laugh she’d ever heard. “If we weren’t in public I’d kiss you, Kitten,” he murmured into her ear. “Come on, let’s dance. I need to feel you in my arms.”
Ryan hadn’t been lying, Kitty thought as they whirled around the floor. He was a good dancer. Better than Norm. He even made her look good on the dance floor.
“Are you having a good time?” he asked.
“Hmmm, wonderful. I never knew people lived like this. Why aren’t you dancing with Teresa? She’s standing on the sidelines, glaring daggers at us.”
“I’d rather dance with you.” He swung her around and dipped her. Kitty caught her breath and clutched his broad shoulders. Without his firm grip on her waist she would have fallen.
“Is Tucker treating you right?” Ryan asked bluntly.
“Norm is a gentleman.”
Ryan gave her an amused look. “All men want the same thing from a woman. Eventually he’ll get around to telling you what he really wants from you.”
“Don’t judge all men by your standards,” Kitty countered. “I already know what Norm wants; a wife and mother for his children.”
Kitty could have sworn Ryan turned slightly green around the gills. “Has he proposed already?”
“No, of course not. We’ve just met.”
The look he gave her made his green eyes glow with intoxicating brightness. The dance ended, and she disengaged herself from Ryan’s arms just as Teresa flounced up to them and announced that Norm was looking for them. It was time to leave.
* * *
Feeling Ryan’s piercing gaze resting on her as they rode home through the moonlit night, Kitty tried to ignore it. Teresa chattered away, apparently unaware of the mounting tension between Kitty and Ryan. Finally Teresa stopped talking and fell asleep against Ryan’s shoulder.
Ryan awakened Teresa when they arrived home, and they all climbed down from the buggy. Kitty started to follow Ryan and Teresa into the house, but Norm held her back. “Would you sit in the buggy with me a few minutes?” he asked. “We’ve hardly had a minute alone all night.”
“Sure, but not too long. It’s getting late.”
He swung her up into the buggy and climbed up beside her. Norm appeared nervous as he cleared his throat and said, “You’re a special woman, Kitty. I feel comfortable with you and hope you feel the same.”
“I do, Norm. I had a good time tonight.”
He placed his arm around her. Kitty stiffened, then relaxed. It was the first time he had attempted any kind of intimacy, and she’d been curious to know if another man could produce the same intense feelings Ryan aroused in her. When she didn’t object, Norm turned her toward him and slowly covered her mouth with his.
Kitty thought the kiss pleasant but not particularly uplifting or exciting. It certainly had none of the earthshaking impact of Ryan’s kisses. Analyzing her response further, Kitty decided that Norm’s arms held none of the heat or urgency she’d come to expect from Ryan. In conclusion, while Norm was a nice man, he ignited no spark, produced no burning desire. To be perfectly truthful, compared to Ryan, Norm was boring.
Norm broke off the kiss, and Kitty assumed from the pleased look on his face that what he was feeling was completely opposite from her own interpretation of the kiss. His face was glowing, his eyes were luminous with pleasure.
“Kitty,” he began breathlessly. “I know we’ve just met but I feel as if I’ve known you forever. I want you for my wife, Kitty. I’ve fallen in love with you. Say you’ll marry me. The children will be so pleased. They think the world of you.”
“Oh, no,” Kitty protested. “It’s too soon. We’ve just met. I can’t… I don’t know …”
“Kitty, sweetheart, look at me.” She raised her head, and what she saw in his eyes made her groan in despair. She’d never wanted this to happen. She’d never meant to hurt Norm.
“Kitty, what is it? Is … is there someone else? Are you promised to another?”
“I…” How could she tell him Ryan was the only man she’d ever love? How could she explain that she’d given to Ryan what she should have saved for her husband? Even worse, how could she tell Norm that she’d made love with Ryan even though she knew he would never make her his wife?
“Don’t be upset, Kitty. I’m sorry. Take your time. I’m willing to wait for your answer. Talk it over with Bert. He can vouch for my character.”
“I don’t need Bert to vouch for your character, Norm, I already know the kind of man you are. It’s me. You know nothing about me.”
“I know all I need to know. You’ll make a wonderful mother for my children. I’ll give you children of your own, too. Would you like that?”
Kitty nodded. Having children of her own would be a dream come true. But she could only think of Ryan as their father. “Teresa thinks I’m an imposter, that I’m not really Bert’s daughter. She’d say a lot more if y
ou asked.”
“I’m not asking. I don’t care. Bert believes you’re his daughter and that’s good enough for me. I’ve known Teresa a long time. She tends to be somewhat uppity.”
“That’s not the half of it,” Kitty muttered.
“Will you at least think about my proposal, sweetheart? I have to go out of town for a few days. I hope you’ll have an answer for me when I return.”
“I’ll think about it,” Kitty promised. In view of Ryan’s opposition to marriage, she would be stupid to turn down a good man like Norm.
He kissed her again, then walked her to the door.
Seething with impotent rage, Ryan peered through the front window. He had seen Tucker kiss Kitty, and he’d had the unaccountable urge to tear her out of Tucker’s arms but knew he had no right. Conflicting emotions about Kitty warred within him, leaving him confused and doubting his own narrow view of love and commitment.
Hell, he knew he was right about marriage, he tried to convince himself. He didn’t believe in it, didn’t want it, and wasn’t about to change his mind. His attraction to Kitty puzzled him, but he explained it by telling himself that she was different from other women of his acquaintance, and she had overwhelmed his senses. He reckoned it couldn’t last. Their passion was so spontaneous, so hot, so consuming, it was bound to burn itself out soon. But what was he supposed to do in the meantime? His hunger for the little wildcat showed no signs of waning any time soon, and now another man was courting her, and he didn’t like it one damn bit.
The longer Ryan thought about Tucker kissing Kitty, the angrier he became. Jealousy was a new sensation, one he rarely experienced, and he felt at odds with the conflicting emotions warring within him. Incredibly, Ryan was too angry to recognize the emotion for what it was. All he saw was the danger Kitty presented to him and his inability to prevent it from continuing.
Ryan remained hidden in the shadows as Kitty let herself into the house, picked up the lantern on the hall table, and ascended the stairs to her room. She appeared preoccupied, and he wondered what Tucker had said to her to cause such intense introspection. He heard her bedroom door click shut and without a thought to propriety, he followed.
Kitty remained in deep thought as she entered the house and trudged up the staircase to her room. She realized that men like Norm Tucker were few and far between. He was sweet, kind, gentle… and not Ryan. Still, he might be her only chance at obtaining the home and family she’d always craved. His two children were adorable and would present no problem to the marriage. If she were smart she would accept Norm’s proposal and the hell with Ryan Delaney.
She had just donned her nightgown and reached out to douse the lamp when the door opened and Ryan slipped inside. Her hand froze in midair. “This is getting to be a habit,” she said tartly. “I reckon I’m going to have to start locking my door.”
Time stood suspended as Ryan stared at her. His eyes glittered like cold green emeralds in the lamplight. She’d seen that look on his face before, and a thrill of anticipation shot through her.
“I saw you kiss him,” Ryan accused in a voice taut with fury. “What else did he do? Did he touch your breasts? Did he put his hand beneath your skirts? Did you like it?”
“Damn you, Ryan,” Kitty hissed. “What Norm and I do is none of your business.”
“I’m making it my business. I brought you here. I’m responsible for… for…” He appeared to have lost his train of thought. “I don’t want to see you hurt,” he added lamely.
“Norm asked me to marry him,” Kitty blurted out.
That seemed to take the wind out of his sails. “Did you agree?”
“I’m thinking it over. It wouldn’t be such a bad thing,” she said unconvincingly. “Norm is a good man. I… I think I can be happy with him.”
A muscle twitched in Ryan’s jaw. “You’ve made up your mind, then?”
She stared at him, willing him to say the words she longed to hear. When they did not come, she said, “Perhaps I have, unless you can give me a good reason why I shouldn’t.”
Three steps brought him so close that she felt suffocated by his heat. She tried to retreat but had nowhere to go. The backs of her knees were pressed against the edge of the bed.
“You need a reason? I’ll give you one,” he growled as his hands curled around her narrow shoulders and pulled her against the hard wall of his chest. Then he dipped his head and took her lips.
The fierceness of his kiss stunned her. There seemed to be a whole new depth of emotion in his kiss as his mouth moved over hers. The heat, the intensity, the raw sexuality of his kiss sent her senses reeling. Forgetting everything but the man she loved and his kisses, she opened her mouth to his probing tongue and kissed him back.
He broke off the kiss with an abruptness that stunned her, and he gave her a knowing grin. “Does Tucker kiss you like that? Do his kisses make you burn for more? Can you marry a man knowing he’ll never make you feel the way I do?”
“I can marry a man knowing he loves me. Damn it!” Kitty retorted. “I don’t understand you, Ryan Delaney. You don’t want another man to have me even though you don’t want me yourself. Make up your mind.”
“That’s not true,” Ryan murmured as he brought her back into his arms. “I want you, love. I want you now. Here. On this bed.” He pushed her backward onto the bed and followed her down. “You want me, too, don’t deny it.”
“You can make a statue want you,” Kitty gasped as Ryan made a shambles of her defenses. “That doesn’t mean a damn thing except you’re doing what Ryan does best.”
He caressed her breasts. “Tell me you don’t want Tucker,” he said raggedly.
She felt his manhood stirring against her leg as he lifted her nightgown above her waist and cupped her between her legs. A shudder passed through her, scattering her thoughts.
“Kitty, tell me,” he urged as he massaged the tiny nub at the entrance to her sex.
“Tell you what? That you’re incredibly arrogant? That you like having sex with me? You’re the man I want, Ryan,” Kitty exhaled on a puff of air. “You’re just too damn set in your ways to realize what it is you want.”
“You talk too much, love,” Ryan groaned as he released himself from his denims, spread her legs with his knees, flexed his hips, and thrust upward and in. Kitty arched her back and took him deeply, knowing in her heart she would never love anyone like she loved Ryan, even if she did marry Norm.
Kitty convulsed almost immediately, vaguely aware that Ryan’s climax came so close upon hers that she couldn’t distinguish his cries from hers.
Later, Ryan undressed and loved her again, taking his time to arouse her as his lips mapped a fiery trail across her flesh and his hands found new, intensely intimate ways to pleasure her. But when he tried to enter her, Kitty shook her head and pushed him away.
Ryan sat back on his heels. “You don’t want this?” he asked in a puzzled voice.
“Yes, eventually,” Kitty said shyly. “What I really want to do is love you in the same ways you love me.” She shoved him backward on the bed.
Her hands spread across his chest, touching his flat male nipples. She lowered her head and touched each with her tongue and was gratified when he let out a hoarse groan. She loved touching him and was thrilled to know he enjoyed having her touch him as much as she enjoyed being touched. Her fingertips followed the dark, silky path that led downward to his groin, then lower, until she encountered the thick proof of his arousal. She took him between her palms, caressing and stroking, savoring the look of blissful agony on his contorted features.
“You’re killing me, Kitten,” he growled as he tried to pull her up and over him.
“No, not yet,” Kitty said, purring like her namesake.
Then she dipped her head and touched the tip of his sex with her tongue. Ryan nearly leaped off the bed, making a grab for her, which she deftly dodged. She felt him heave and shudder when she ran her tongue down his length, but she wasn’t ready to end the to
rture just yet. Then she took him into her mouth.
“Kitten!” He shouted her name and lifted her away. “I can’t stand any more.” Dragging her upward along his body, he spread her legs with his knees and thrust upward into her heated center.
They came together in a fiery burst that threatened to incinerate them. Kitty arched, taking him deeper and riding him ruthlessly. They climaxed simultaneously, roaring toward Paradise on the tail of a shooting star. As Kitty floated back to earth on a wave of pleasure she realized it wouldn’t be fair to marry Norm when her love belonged to Ryan. She’d rather spend her life alone than accept second best.
“Do you still intend to marry Tucker?” Ryan murmured as he stroked her back and bottom.
Realizing she was still sprawled atop Ryan, Kitty shifted off of him as she pondered her answer. At length she said, “I would be doing Norm a disservice by marrying him, but Norm doesn’t seem to care. He wants me just as I am.”
Ryan frowned. “What kind of an answer is that?”
“The only kind you’re going to get. I haven’t made up my mind yet.”
Ryan felt a crushing blow of disappointment but couldn’t come up with the words that would stop Kitty from marrying Tucker. He knew what she wanted to hear, but it went against everything he believed in, the standard upon which he’d based his life. Yet what he felt for Kitty could not be described in words he was willing to give voice to. He needed time to think, to review his life and decide if he’d been wrong to judge all women by the actions of a few. Perhaps there was room in his life for a special woman like Kitty. Perhaps there was room for…
… Love.
“I’d better leave,” Ryan said as he pushed himself out of bed. “We’ll talk more about this later,” he added as he gathered his hastily discarded clothing.
Kitty saw her opening and bore down ruthlessly. “There’s nothing more to discuss, Ryan.”
He walked back to the bed, rested his knee on the edge, and kissed her. There was a raw aching need in his kiss that brought tears to her eyes. Why did he have to be so stubborn? Kitty wondered with blank despair. Couldn’t he sense how much she loved him? Did his freedom mean more to him than her love?