Locked.
Jabbing the bell, I ring it about ten times. Hurry up.
He opens the door, running his hand over his head and scowling, but that scowl is wiped away the moment he sees me.
His mouth parts, and my heart explodes.
I love you. How could I not have known how much I love you?
“Mila.”
I hold the manuscript up. The rose is still on my passenger seat.
He tilts his head and takes it, but his eyes never leave mine.
“I finished it.”
“Come in,” he says, standing back.
I step over the threshold, and something inside me soothes.
I’m home.
Reid walks to his kitchen, and I follow, both of us deathly silent.
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” I ask when we come to a stop in his kitchen.
“I was scared. Scared that if I told you we would become something, you would have the power to crush me. I was scared that if we were together you might leave me or do something completely deplorable and die.”
“God,” I mutter, my heart fracturing at the pain and fear in his words. “Your grandad,” I rasp. “He died when we were together. I barely remember…” I barely remember what we were doing. Reid must see it vividly, it’s followed him around, haunting him for years.
“We weren’t really doing anything.” The ghost of a smile touches his lips. “We were talking about books. You were ranting, actually, about the hero always saving the heroine. It was almost thirty minutes that we stood outside and talked.”
“I-I’m so sorry, Reid. I’m sorry that I expected you to talk to me for so long that day. I didn’t think about you having something to do for a second. I mean, you were outside your house, obviously about to go somewhere and then—”
He closes his eyes for a second and shakes his head. “Stop. Please. I didn’t show you that so you would feel guilty. I had to tell you because I want to share everything, no matter how hard it is to rip open old wounds. I can’t stand the thought of you blaming yourself, so please don’t. Nothing about that day was on you. I knew I was going to be late, and I knew my grandad wouldn’t have minded.”
“You blame yourself.”
He winces. “Yes, well, despite knowing that he would forgive me, I haven’t managed to do that myself.”
“Why did you write it?”
“It was actually my therapist’s idea. It was a rough draft, but it helped me see things more clearly. I finished it this week because it was the best way of telling you when I couldn’t find the words. I won’t ever be free of my guilt, but I’m no longer consumed by it.”
“I’m still sorry.”
“I know.”
“Your family don’t hate me. At least, they didn’t seem to.”
“Of course, they don’t. Mila, it wasn’t your fault. I’m not the first person to be late to go and see someone. Things happen. It wasn’t your fault, so no one hates you. They know how I feel about you.”
“They know? Phoebe?”
His lips curl, and I want to trace them with my finger. “Yeah, she loved meeting you properly that day. I’ve had text after text about you.”
“Reid…”
“I’m glad you’re here.”
“Everything got so messy. I didn’t know how to handle it, what I wanted, or how I felt. It’s been confusing, looking for something I wasn’t sure of.”
He smiles, as though he knows exactly what I’m talking about. “I’ve spent my whole life searching for happiness.”
“And what have you found?”
“You.”
My lungs deflate.
Me. He’s been searching for me.
Tears sting as I try to fight back emotion too big for me to even process.
He takes a step closer, probably sensing my impending meltdown.
His finger strokes my cheek, and I melt. Closing my eyes, I lean forward, and my heart tries to break through my ribcage. I can smell and feel him again, fresh from a shower, and devastatingly perfect.
“I’ve been across the road the whole time, Reid.”
“I know, but for the past nine years, you may as well have been a hundred miles away.”
“We’re here now.”
“Mila,” he whispers.
With my chest against his, I open my eyes and tilt my head up.
His breath mixes with mine and he watches me like I’m some dream he doesn’t want to wake up from.
“I’m here, Reid.”
“I want to tell you that I love you. I’ve wanted to say it for a long time, but those words never seem enough. How can three words possibly convey the magnitude of how I feel about you? They can’t, but I love you, Mila.”
Oh my God. Hearing him speak the words almost knock me to the floor.
My pulse races.
“Reid. You were the reclusive neighbour who I never really thought about. I had no idea of the real you or how much you were going to change my life. I never thought for one second that I would fall so madly in love with you that I can barely think straight.”
His forehead touches mine. He looks like he’s in pain. “Say that again.”
“I love you. I didn’t think it was possible to be this in love.”
He sucks in a breath before his mouth covers mine, and then I’m being carried to his bedroom.
Fifty-Seven
Reid
Mila’s back.
She’s curled into my side in bed as we both try to catch our breath.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” I tell her. “I was worried you’d think I was too much drama.”
“It’s not drama. I get that you reacted the way you did for a reason and not just some bullshit egotistical thing. You found both of your grandparents, and I can’t imagine how that felt.” She looks up at me. “It’s understandable that you were scared, but I won’t be leaving you, not for Liam or anyone. Not even for Spence’s hottie co-stars. Not even a prince.”
“A prince, huh?”
“I’m sorry, Harry, I’m taken.”
I can’t stop staring at her like a psychopath. Thankfully, Mila’s face mirrors mine.
“Come on, Reid. You’re making coffee, and then I need to read your manuscript again.”
“You don’t need to read my therapy manuscript again.”
“I’m going to read it every day. I love it,” she says. “It’s sad and beautiful, and it makes me understand you a whole lot more.”
“Well, I’m glad you like my… history.”
“It’s all you. I can’t believe I’ve known so much more about you than I thought. I read that book and it was all you. I’ve had the answers I wanted this whole time.”
“I’ve always wanted you to know, I just wasn’t sure how to tell you.”
“I’m glad you found a way.” She places a kiss on my chest.
“Mila,” I groan when she gets out of bed. “Come back.”
“No. Coffee and words. I’m sleeping here forever, so we have plenty of time for more sex. You’ve not made me a latte in forever because you were pushing me away.”
I groan again. “How long are you going to use that one to get your own way?”
“A woman never forgets. Come on, abs.”
Mila gets dressed. I get up and throw some joggers on. Her eyes follow me as I walk around the bed.
“You’re very obvious.”
“You’re very hot,” she replies, her amber eyes full of lust.
“All right, let’s get a coffee.” I take her hand, and we go downstairs the way we have dozens of times before.
“Do I need to clear some drawers for you?” I ask.
“What?”
“You said you’ll be staying over a lot.”
“I said forever, but sure. And yes, I need drawers and hanging space. Lots of it.”
I pull her into my arms and lean back against the counter. “You’ve got it. So… are you moving in?”
She nods once. “
Unofficially.”
“Unofficially?”
“Reid, we’ve been together for two hours.”
“So?”
“So…”
Grinning, I pull her closer until there’s no space left between us. “All the best love stories start with moving in together on the first day, you know.”
She raises a brow. “Examples?”
“This one.” I kiss her.
“I love you,” she whispers against my mouth.
“I love you, too.”
I want nothing more than to take her back to bed and spend the rest of the day whispering I love you between heated kisses.
Mila holds onto me while I make the coffee, her chin resting on my chest.
I smirk. “I didn’t think you’d be so clingy.”
“Shut up. You love it.”
“I do love it. You’re forbidden to let me go.”
“Ooh, forbidden, huh?”
“Don’t be cute. Keep those breasts on me.”
She laughs and lays her cheek against my skin. I hold her tighter with my free hand. “I want to skip this whole week and stay with you, but you have work and I have uni.”
“I don’t like that idea.”
“I know, but I’ve missed almost a week at uni because of you already.”
“You did?”
She nods. “My head wasn’t in it. It wasn’t in anything, to be fair. I couldn’t figure out why I felt like I was ill, even though I wasn’t. The girls told me it’s because I love you. Then it all made sense. I read the manuscript, and I came straight to find you.”
I brush her hair behind her ear. “I was going to come to you. It was supposed to be me doing the chasing.”
“I know you would have come to me, but it doesn’t matter, Reid. I’m not keeping score. Not with us.”
“I love that, and I love you. Never again will you have to chase me, though. I’m here, and I’m all in.”
“We can talk about anything?”
I nod. “No matter how painful. I’ll give you all of me, I promise.”
“Do you still see your therapist?”
“Only if I feel like I need a session. I haven’t been in a little over a year.”
“And your family are okay with me?”
“I swear to you, they are.”
“And what about you?”
“Oh, I’m really okay with you.”
She nudges me. “No, I mean, do you still blame yourself?”
“I try not to.”
“I wish that day had been different. If I hadn’t—”
My lips press down on hers, and when I pull away, her eyes are fire. “Don’t. No guilt, Mila. That’s not how we’re starting.”
“Are you okay? You found both of them.”
“I’m doing as okay as I can with that,” I tell her.
“I’ll help you.”
I nod. “You already do. Now, do you want me to let you get ready for uni or are we both taking one more day?”
I run my hand down her back and around her hip.
“You don’t fight fair,” she whispers.
“Never with you.”
“I told Liam to stay away. I don’t know that he will for sure. Does that bother you?”
“I’d be lying if I said no. But he will get the message. I was never angry at you for him reaching out. You can’t control that.”
She nods. “Sorry that I brought my past with me. I should have spent more time being single, then we wouldn’t have this problem. Indie and Spencer are each other’s first love. I wish we were the same.”
“I only care about being your last love.”
Her head tilts to the side. “Reid,” she whispers. “We’re taking the day. I don’t want reality yet.”
I lean into her and sigh in complete contentment. She’s right here with me. I can see it in her eyes how much she wants me.
This is it. This is happiness.
Epilogue
Reid
EIGHTEEN MONTHS LATER
“I’m going to die,” Mila says, clinging to my arm.
We’re outside Waterstones, waiting for it to open. Her parents, brothers, Indie, Spencer, Wren, Brody, and the baby are also here. DeeDee is strapped to Brody’s chest, her tuft of blonde hair blows in the breeze.
In five minutes, those doors will open, and then we’re going to see Mila’s first book on the shelves.
I’m so proud of her, I could burst.
She’s nervous. She’s been talking at a million miles an hour all morning. She’s worrying that no one will buy it, despite the fact that I’ve spoken to her agent and know how many pre-orders it’s already had. Early reviews sing the book’s praises.
It will be a hit.
“You’re not going to die.”
“Let’s just go home, Reid.”
“Not a chance.”
“This is your day, love, and we’re so proud of you,” Tim says, patting her back.
She gulps. “Thanks, but what if—”
I press my finger over her lips, and she looks up at me. “Nope. No what ifs. You’re a published author.”
Dropping my hand, I draw her closer.
Her hand curls into my chest, taking my coat with it. I love it when she holds me like she needs me that badly.
The last year of our lives have been the best, hands down. Nothing prepared me for her, not properly.
There’s never a boring day.
Mila moved in with me after six months. She practically lived with me before that, anyway. I don’t think we spent more than a few nights apart, only when she stayed with Wren or Indie.
Her parents love it because she’s just over the road. I don’t think any of them would have coped well if she’d moved far away.
She takes a deep breath.
“Come on, Mila,” Hugo says. “It probably won’t tank.”
I’d say something to him, but she’s got it covered. Her hand whips out before any of us see it, and she whacks him in the stomach.
I smile proudly. She can take care of herself. Besides, the three of them bicker constantly. Much more than Phoebe and I ever did.
Hugo rubs his stomach while Louisa scowls at him.
“I’m playing the lead,” Spencer says.
“He dies.”
“Every character I’ve played in the past has survived. It’s boring.”
Indie shakes her head. “I’m not watching that.”
Mila’s grip tightens on me. “I’ll give you a million pounds if we can leave right now.”
“You don’t have a million pounds.”
“I’ll borrow it from Indie and Spencer.”
“You need to chill. This is good.” I press my forehead against hers and ignore her brothers making retching noises.
“I love you,” she breathes.
“Yeah, I know.”
Her eyes narrow.
“I love you more. Door’s opening.”
Her family and friends dash inside like the air out here is on fire.
Mila pulls away, planting her feet into the ground. “Oh, God.”
“Come on, little chicken. I’ve got you.”
I take her hand and drag her inside.
“I changed my mind, Reid.”
“There it is,” I say, pride swelling in my stomach. There’s a stand to the left of the entrance full of copies of Riot. Each one has a sticker on it to tell the world that the brilliant author has signed them. Mila spent hours one evening signing bookplates to send to various retailers. Every book in this store has her messy signature on it, written in sparkly blue ink.
“Shit, there are loads of them. Loads! It smells like books, and my books are a part of that. They’re adding to that smell. If I didn’t have them here, it would smell a fraction less bookie.”
I’ve lost her.
Smiling, I pull her in and kiss her temple. “I’m so proud of you.”
Her parents take pictures, and Hugo speaks to the store manager.
&nb
sp; I wrap my arms around her waist and she sinks into me, her back resting against my chest.
“I can’t believe my book is right there. Lots of my books. Just look at them. How did this even happen? How did an agent like my work and get me a deal? I think I need a drink.”
I kiss her neck, and her body responds with a shiver. She loves her neck being kissed and touched. She demands it often. I’m only too happy to oblige at every opportunity I get.
“You did it.”
“Actually, we did it,” she tells me. “There’s no way my book would be here without you.”
That’s not strictly true. She’s not my author, and I’m not the one who published her. All I really did was run over the ideas, make her coffee, and pick her up from the shower floor every time she had a writing-related meltdown.
“Are you hard being in here?” she whispers over her shoulder.
“With your arse pressed against my dick, what do you think?”
“Interesting. I was going for the nerd hardon. You love books.”
“I love you.”
She sighs. “Reid Walker. My happy ever after.”
“You make me sound like a literary hero.”
“You’re much better than that.”
“Am I?”
“Uh-huh. You’re my whole world and you tie me up. Oh my God, someone just walked off with my book! Did you see that? She read the back and… shit, look! She’s paying for it. I just earnt some royalties.”
“I really don’t know what you expected from publishing.”
“I better get a movie.”
“Mila?”
“Yeah?”
“Marry me.”
She turns to me, her lips parting. “You’re proposing now?”
“It’s your debut release day and we’re in a bookstore.”
“Okay.” She audibly swallows. “It’s the perfect time and place, I’ll give you that.”
I pull the ring from my back pocket and open the box. “What do you say? You want to tie the knot?”
“Hell the fuck yeah, I do!”
Mila leaps at me, and like I will do until our final chapter, I catch her.
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