by Niranjan K
“You were sixteen!” Her eyes were snapping in anger. “He should have known better! Even if he was a vampire.”
“You’re wrong.” he said, avoiding her eyes.
Could he tell her? But, how could he? They already thought him untrustworthy and irresponsible. What were they going to say if they knew the whole story?
So, are you going to let Alistair take the blame for your actions, you fucking coward?
What did it matter anyway? It didn’t signify even if his family blamed Alistair. He hadn’t broken the treaty and as such was safe. Besides, it was not like he knew what they all thought.
Doesn’t make it right.
He didn’t care, and his conscience could just deal with it.
“Ray?” Eve asked, still sounding worried.
“I’m not an invalid or dying.” he said. “You don’t have to sound so worried if I space out for a moment.”
She looked hurt for a second before her expression hardened. “Stop behaving like a petulant child!” she said. “I’m not going to apologise for your imaginations, Ray. If you want to be treated like an adult, start acting like one.”
She walked away towards the women’s queue and Ray moved towards the much shorter men’s queue.
Way to go, Ray. Piss off everyone who cares for you.
Couldn’t his mind stop the running commentary? He knew damn well what he’d done. He stepped on to the scanning platform. He had hurt her, and for that he owed her an apology. But not for anything else.
He accepted his luggage back, thanking the android that had scanned it.
What a weird world! Creatures from myth walked freely amongst androids and all these technological marvels. But then, not everyone knew about the creatures. He could well imagine the panic it would cause. People had always been good at that. And of judging others. And destroying what they couldn’t understand, what they feared. That they were especially good at. If ever the vampires revealed their existence, there was likely to be a war, especially considering all the religious fanaticism out there.
We have colonised other planets and yet, we cannot let go of religion.
He took his seat, in between a small child of maybe 9 and an old man. Eve had an aisle seat from across him. She smiled at him, but it looked forced. He buckled himself in, and helped the child with his seat belt, while his mind kept racing.
Any hunter worth the name knew that vampires weren’t really stopped by crosses or holy water. The old books dealing with them had many things right: their aversion to running water, to rosebushes, even wolfsbane though nowadays popular culture associated it with werewolves, their hypnotising powers, their shapeshifting, their strength and speed, but they got it completely wrong with the crosses and holy water and sunlight.
Just like they got it completely wrong with the undead part. Vampires weren’t undead. They were alive; they could only be turned while they were still alive. It wasn’t a sudden transformation. It was gradual, and so excruciatingly painful, that if Alistair hadn't been there, Ray didn't think he would have survived. Being a vampire was unnatural only in that they couldn’t die of natural causes any more. No more falling ill, or starving or dying in accidents, unless the accident caused something wooden to pierce their heart or cut off their head.
The only things that could kill a vampire were substantial damage to the heart or the brain. Damage that couldn’t be taken care of by their accelerated healing powers. Wood was the only thing that caused that kind of damage. Metal could pierce their skins, but it didn’t take. Of course, for decapitation, nothing worked like a machete, whatever it was made of. They just needed to be quick enough to take off the head before the wound from the metal started to heal.
He yawned, and pushed the seat back, closing his eyes. He wore a wooden crucifix in a chain around his neck, not for any religious reasons, but because it had a pointed end and was a good enough weapon in close quarters if he ever got cornered, and also because it was made of juniper. Since the treaty a few centuries back, the vampires had not been attacking humans indiscriminately, but there were always rogues, though nothing like the one Magnus had asked him to find. Most rogues were taken out by the council before they could kill more than a couple of people at the most, and the rest were killed by hunters in self-defence. Rogues were stupid enough to think that the treaty had made hunters weak, that the old hunter families didn’t spend as much time in their training as they did in the days before the pact. They almost always attacked the hunters, and ended up dead.
That was another thing popular culture got wrong. Vampires didn’t disintegrate or turn into ashes when they were killed. Only the old ones did that. Those who had lived so long their bodies would have disintegrated and turned into dust had they been humans. The new ones… they stayed as they were in death, indistinguishable from humans.
He yawned again, and sighed, as he slipped into sleep.
Chapter Six
The sun was beginning to set as they disembarked. Dan was waiting for them, looking as large and ruggedly handsome as he’d always done, a splitting image of uncle Gary, something both uncle and nephew took pride in. Ray’s features were more like that of his father and his side of the family, though he was grateful for his mother’s genes that gave him his size. Dan dwarfed him, however, as his arms enveloped him and Ray hugged his brother back, unable to stop smiling, all his rancour melting away.
“So good to see you, Ray.” Dan’s voice was like a rumble, that went through Ray’s entire body due to the fact that his brother was yet to let him go.
“Good to see you too,” Ray said squirming a bit. “You can let go, you know.”
Dan’s laugh literally shook his frame, but he released him.
“Talk of a bear hug.” Ray said, but was aware of the grin he was unable to help.
Eve lifted her hands, grinning. “Ray already gave me a hug, so my quota of hugs for the day is exhausted.”
“Mine isn’t.” Dan said, his tone teasing. but he didn’t hug her. Despite being a family that was often physical with their affections, Eve wasn't a fan of Dan's hugs, unless she initiated them. Dan pecked her on the cheek, as he led them to the car.
“You bought a new car?” Ray asked, staring at the shining silver-grey vehicle.
“I’ve had it for a year.” Dan said, opening the boot for Ray to put in his luggage. “Which you’d know if you’d deign to visit us occasionally or at least, I don’t know, call?”
“I’m sorry.” Ray muttered.
He could have called. He should have called. He also could fly off his handle like he did with Eve, but one fight in a day with a sibling was enough.
“I’m not trying to guilt trip you.” Dan said as he got into the car. “I’m sure you’re busy. But I was hoping you would at least call Mom and Dad occasionally.”
“I know.” Ray felt three inches tall as he slid into the passenger seat next to Dan. Eve was sitting back, her eyes brooding as she stared outside.
The car moved and Dan said, “Dad’s still the hospital, and Mom’s with him. Do you want to go there or go home and change?”
“Go home and change, I think.” Ray said. It had been a long flight from Bahter, and he had an even longer one from Miriwok before. He was exhausted, but was too restless, and on edge. He just needed clean clothes.
“All right.” Dan said, keying in the command to the steering panel. “I need to install a voice activator in this. Been putting it off because Nat is afraid Brett will activate it accidentally.”
“How is Nat? And Brett?” Ray asked, feeling his guilt intensify.
How old must Brett be now? The last time he had seen him was when he was three. He could understand Nat’s concerns. Even if they set the voice activator to respond only to Dan, kids these days were tech savvy enough to hack into everything.
“They’re good.” Dan said. “Nat complains about how you never visit these days. Brett loves the gifts you send him for his birthdays, but I think he would appreciate it m
ore if you can just turn up for his birthday once in a while.”
“You should get one of those transporters, Dan.” Eve said from the back seat, preventing Ray from having to make another apology. “You can be anywhere within the blink of an eye if the ads are to be believed and it’s more energy efficient, cleaner and requires no maintenance. Since they’re coded to DNA, no chance of Brett taking it for a spin when you aren’t looking.”
“It also costs the earth.” Dan said. “Maybe in another 5 years if it becomes affordable. Besides, I love travelling by car.”
That he did, and so did they all. The transporter was a useful invention, but not exactly cost effective and since its use was restricted to only one person at a time, it was also not too convenient. The small talk continued till they reached home, Ray contributing anecdotes from work and Eve side-tracking Dan every time he said something about Ray’s prolonged absence from their lives. Ray was grateful to his sister. He ought to apologise to her for everything he said, but not in front of Dan. He didn’t want to explain himself to his brother.
His old room had been made ready for him, and Ray stood inside once his siblings had left. He had forgotten this room, its contours, the bed, his wardrobe. He touched a wall; the colour was pale yellow, which was different from the last time he was here. His parents used to paint the rooms every year. It used to drive him crazy because every year he had to remove his posters and put them up again, and every year a few of them got torn so much they couldn’t be fixed.
His room was always painted in light colours. Green, blue, yellow, even lavender and pink, though that happened only once each. He hadn’t minded, but Dan had teased him mercilessly till his parents told their eldest to shut it. But they had stopped painting Ray’s room in what Dan called “girly colours” instead reserving those for Dan's. Dan had the indignity of having his room painted a bright fluorescent pink one year and a pale pastel pink the next year, till he had apologised to Ray. It made Ray smile now.
He moved to the window. What would he see if he looked outside? Would he see the large house where Alistair had lived, where he had lived during the ten years he had spent as a vampire? Or had the house been demolished by its present owners? Alistair must have sold it. He had not lived there since Ray became human again. Not that he was there all the time while Ray was a vampire.
I must be the only one in the world who got to relive adolescence twice.
Vampires aged, though the process slowed with time. But he was sixteen and so, his ageing was the same as that of humans. But at twenty-six, when he was finally turned back, he had reverted to the age he had been when he was first turned. At least, he wouldn’t have to go through all that again.
Now if he could only forget his feelings for Alistair, everything would have been perfect. But he had to go and fall in love with the vampire. He’d already had a crush on him when he’d become a vampire, and even he didn’t know when it changed and became something deeper and lasting. Ray looked outside, tears prickling his eyes as he saw the house. It was still there, and from the looks of it, it was unoccupied.
A knock on the door. “Ray, are you ready to go?” Eve asked from outside. “Visiting hours at the hospital will be over soon.”
“Just a minute, Eve.” he said aloud.
Damn! He had forgotten about changing. He dragged his suitcase on to the bed and opened it, pulling out the first clean pair of clothes he could find. His packing had always been haphazard. He would have liked to have had a shower, but there just wasn’t enough time.
“Ray!” Dan sounded impatient.
“Just a minute!”
He was an idiot. He pulled off his clothes, kicked them to a side, pulling on the fresh clothes and started buttoning his shirt as he opened the door. At least he knew how to undress and dress in less than two minutes.
Chapter Seven
The drive to the hospital was uneventful and they reached before visiting hours ended.
No thanks to Ray!
Perhaps it wasn’t the kindest thought, but Eve was not feeling kind. Ray was an ass, and he should be grateful for everything they had done for him. Instead, he was blaming them and accusing them of treating him like an outcast. Did he even have any idea how much he had hurt them all? And then he had run off halfway across the globe and wouldn’t even come home.
Dan led them to the lift. “Dad’s in the third floor. He’s much better now. The doctors think he can be discharged within a few days.”
“Who’s staying with him?” Ray asked. “Other than Mom?”
“Anton’s there, but he’ll be coming home with you and I’ll be staying with Dad tonight. I’ve told Mom to go home as well. She needs some rest. One of you can relieve me tomorrow morning.”
“I’ll do that.” Ray said.
As if it would make up for everything he had done. Eve wanted to make a scathing reply, like “Why? Feeling guilty about abandoning us?” but she kept quiet. It was hardly the place and was certainly not the right time. Besides, she was ready to admit to herself that she was afraid to open that particular can of worms. That was why she kept distracting Dan whenever he tried to bring it up. She wasn’t afraid of Ray’s reactions, but she was afraid of the real reason why he had left. Because she was the only one who had an inkling. The rest of her family were clueless, even their mother.
They stopped before a closed door and Dan knocked. Anton opened the door, his face splitting into a wide grin as he saw them. “Dad’s asleep,” he whispered as they came inside. “Sedatives, I think. Mom just went down to the cafeteria to have dinner.”
They sat on the other bed, which was crowded with all three of them sitting.
“Why don’t you go and have dinner too?” Dan asked. “We’ll stay with Dad.”
“Okay.” Anton said. “It has been almost fifteen minutes since Mom went. She should be back soon.”
Once Anton left, Eve could see her father clearly. He was asleep, his head cradled on his palm, and a blanket tucked around him. There was an IV line on his other hand, and now that no one was speaking she could hear the sounds made by the heart monitor on his other side. He looked the same, his iron-grey hair was tousled, his wrinkled face peaceful. Somehow, seeing him reassured her. He looked as he always did. He didn’t look like he was sick. That must mean he was all right.
The door to the room opened and their mother entered, beaming at them. “Ray, Eve!” she said and they went towards her. She hugged them both, smiling wide. “Anton told me you had come, you’ve no idea how happy I am to see you both.” She took a step back, her hands still on their shoulders and her eyes scrutinising them. “You look good,” she said to Ray. “A bit tired and anxious, but good.” She looked at Eve and her eyes softened even more. “You look so beautiful.” she said.
“You look good too, Mom,” Ray said, kissing her on the cheek.
Eve wished she could say the same, but the truth was Mom’s appearance shocked her. She didn’t look good. She looked haggard and old. Eve couldn’t remember her mother ever looking old. There was so much sadness in her eyes and Eve could see the bone deep weariness etched into each line on her face. Her mother had never looked like that, not even when Ray was a vampire and was staying in the house right across the street and they had to see him every day.
Her eyes moved to her Dad. Was he not okay? But Dan said the doctors said he could be discharged. Why would they do that if he wasn’t all right? But if he was, then why was Mom looking so sad? Why did she look as if she had aged a hundred years in the six months since Eve had seen her the last? Her mom sat down on a chair at the foot of Dad’s bed and Eve squeezed in between her brothers on the narrow bed. There was also a cushioned armchair, but she didn't want to sit on that. She wanted to stay close to them.
They chatted about inconsequential things, about the vampire Ray was hunting, about the rogue Eve had killed last month, about Dan’s boring day job, and Mom talked about her book club and of the people who were part of it. Eve leaned against
Ray and his arm came around her. She sighed, glad she hadn’t picked a fight with him.
“I’m sorry about earlier.” he whispered against her hair.
She gave his other hand a tiny squeeze. She had never been able to stay angry at him for long. He was her baby brother after all.
Anton came back soon, and took the armchair. He talked about his fiancé and about their visit to his parents. Eve swallowed the envy she couldn’t help feeling as Dan and Anton talked of their partners. She had had that once, till a rogue vampire had taken it away along with her brother and she wasn’t sure she would ever find that again. Nancy had been her soulmate, and there would never be another.
Ray yawned. “Shouldn’t we be heading home?” he asked. “I’m really tired.”
“So am I.” Mom said. “I’m not sure I’ll be able to sleep without Ned, but I've got to try.”
The words sounded so ominous and Eve swallowed all the questions that rose to her mind. Did she want to know if Dad was not going to be okay? Did she have the courage or the fortitude to face that? She didn’t think so.
The drive back was silent, Ray kept yawning and Anton was leaning back in the seat, his eyes closed. Eve glanced at Mom, who was looking out of the window, but it was clear that she was distracted. Her fingers were twined together tightly, so tightly that all the knuckles stood out white. Eve looked out of the window, swallowing her fears and questions. If only she weren’t such a fucking coward!
Chapter Eight
Alistair opened the door slowly. The house remained exactly as it had been. He would have been highly surprised if it wasn’t. He did pay someone an exorbitant amount for its upkeep, after all. Might have been cheaper to sell the house; it was abysmally sentimental, foolishly so, to have kept it. But he had had it for close to two centuries now, though he never stayed in it longer than three or four years at a time. Besides, he liked the Haspels. The family of hunters had always got on well with him. Till Ray.