by Nic Saint
“Maybe they’re simply pretending not to notice us to throw Leonora and Chris Cross and Tank off the scent,” said Dooley, cheering up. “And any moment now they’ll come barging in here with the entire Hampton Cove police force and save us!”
“I don’t think, so, Dooley. They simply didn’t see us.”
“But how is that possible? It’s Odelia. She has to see us. She’s our human.”
“I’m starting to think she no longer is,” I said.
And we would have discussed the topic in depth if the door hadn’t swung open at that exact moment and the same motley crew that had locked us up was upon us once more: Leonora Flake, pushed by her strangely stoic nurse, Chris Cross and his feline sidekick Tank.
“Keep an eye on them, Tank,” said Chris. “Those two are cunning.”
“They don’t look cunning,” said Tank. “In fact they look pretty dumb. Dumb and dumber.” He laughed at his own joke, and so did Chris Cross.
“Will you stop with the inside jokes already?” said Leonora irritably. “So have we decided? Out with the intruders and in with Little Miss Sweet?”
“Yeah, I guess that’s the only way to go,” said Chris. “Max and Dooley clearly know too much now, and the moment we set them loose they’ll run and tell mama. And we can’t do without Pussy, in case we need to show her to the investors or the board at some point.”
“Fine. Do it quietly, though, will you? And make sure no one sees you.”
“Wait, you expect me to do it? Why don’t you do it?”
“Have you seen the wheelchair?”
“I wasn’t talking about you. I was talking about Nurse Ratched over there.”
Nurse Ratched didn’t seem all that happy with her new moniker. “My name is Helga Cooper,” she said in clipped tones. “And nowhere does it say in my job description that I should go around murdering cats. So I refuse.”
“You do it,” Leonora told Chris. “You’re good with cats.”
“I’m good with live cats, not dead ones!”
“Oh, for crying out loud!”
Dooley, who’d been gulping freely next to me, appeared on the verge of a panic attack. “They’re going to kill us, Max!” he cried. “Did you hear that? They’re going to kill us and throw away the bodies!”
“Bury the bodies, most likely,” said Tank with an evil glint in his eyes. “Deep, so that no one will ever find you. And if by some miracle they do, the worms will have eaten through your rotting corpses and all that will be left will be your bones. Sad, sad bones.”
“Oh, no!” said Dooley, hyperventilating now.
“Deep breaths, Dooley,” I said. “Deep, steady breaths.”
“Look, you don’t have to do this,” said Pussy. “You can keep us all in here and no one has to die.”
“Yeah, I know we don’t have to do it,” said Tank. “But that’s just the thing: we want to do it.” He turned to Chris. “Let me do it, boss.”
“You? You can’t kill those two.”
“Oh, but I can,” said Tank, licking his lips and extending a gleaming claw. “In fact I know just how. One nice jab to the jugular and they’ll bleed out like gutted pigs. And then all you have to do is dig the hole and dump the bodies.”
“I don’t want to die, Max!” Dooley cried. “I’m too young to die!”
“I don’t want to die either, Dooley,” I said, and already I was eyeing the door with a keen eye. “If we move fast,” I whispered in his ear, “we can make it. On three. One two three—go!”
And I raced for the door. Only I felt a keen sense of emptiness behind me and when I looked back I saw that Dooley was glued to the spot, looking at me with wide panicky eyes. So I halted and retraced my steps.
“Ha ha ha!” Tank laughed. “Look at them. Dumb and dumber—the sequel!”
“Close the door, you idiots,” Leonora snapped. “If they get out they’ll spill the beans and then all this will have been for naught.”
“Max,” said Dooley when I’d returned to his side. “Why didn’t you make a run for it?”
“I couldn’t very well leave my best friend behind, could I?”
“But you could have escaped and warned Odelia!”
Oh, shoot. Why hadn’t I thought of that!
“So this is your final word?” asked Leonora.
“This is my final word,” Chris confirmed. “I’m not a cat killer. If you want them dead, you’ll have to find someone else to do it.”
“Imbeciles and incompetents!” shouted Leonora as she directed her wheelchair to the door. “I’m surrounded by imbeciles and incompetents!” She passed through the door, followed by Helga and Chris. The last one to leave us in our new prison was, of course, Tank.
“Too bad they didn’t task me with the kill,” he said. And he slashed the air with his gleaming claw. Then the door closed and we were once again alone.
“Someone will come for us,” said Pussy. “Your humans will realize what’s going on and they’ll come looking for you.”
Under normal circumstances I would have heartily agreed with her. Only this time I had the distinct impression that no one would come for us. Or even if they did, it would be too late, and we’d already be dead and buried.
Chapter 20
Gran wasn’t feeling like herself. Ever since her granddaughter had branched out into the world of private detecting, she’d been her loyal and able sidekick on many an investigation. Today, though, things hadn’t gone according to plan, to say the least. The worst kind of investigation was the one that was over before it even got started. And yet…
While at the reception desk in her son-in-law’s office, she’d been surfing the web on the newly minted smartphone Tex had gifted her, and she discovered a couple of things about the case that greatly worried her. For one thing, by all accounts Leonidas Flake and Gabriel Crier had been a devoted couple. They’d been together for thirty years, and all that time they’d appeared in public displaying an affection that was unmistakable. It was hard to imagine that suddenly one partner in the tryst would snap and murder the other partner in the tryst and then not even remember what he’d done.
Furthermore, there had been rumors that the empire Leo had built was rocking on its foundations, not least because his mother was shaking the tree, insisting her son was squandering his legacy by bad business decisions. The woman had actually had the gall to try and oust her son from his own company by launching a hostile takeover bid. The fact that it had failed didn’t mean much in the grand scheme of things. It had spooked investors, and the stock had been trading at an all-time low.
Shops had been closed, sales had slumped, and the company was on shaky ground. And now this murder. Gran couldn’t help but feel there was more to the murder than a simple lovers’ tiff. Rumors had been flying around all day that now that her son was dead, Mama Flake was moving in and finalizing her takeover attempt. She’d been spotted in town, even before the murder, staying at the Hampton Cove Star, which was highly suspect to say the least. Then again, Ma Flake was old. She was ninety-eight, and wheelchair bound, so it was hardly feasible she would have held the knife that killed her only son.
Furthermore, after the bad blood that had existed between herself and her son, she’d become persona non grata at Chateau Leonidas and hadn’t been allowed to set foot inside the premises. At least not until today. So even if she’d wanted to murder her son, she wouldn’t have had the chance.
Still, Gran felt there were loose ends attached to this case, and had already placed a strongly worded phone call to her own son Alec, telling him not to put all his eggs in one basket but to give the investigation another chance.
So great was her concern that when she arrived home after her shift, instead of plunking down in front of the TV to watch Jeopardy!, she hunkered down at the kitchen table to do some more digging into the family Flake.
Her daughter Marge, when arriving home from the library, watched her with a curious eye. “What’s going on with you, Ma? No Jeopardy! today
?”
“Murder investigation,” she grunted curtly.
“Not the Flake case? Terrible business, that. I loved the man’s designs.”
This had Gran look up in surprise. “You liked Flake’s designs?”
“Yeah, loved them. I have several Leonidas Flakes upstairs. Of course I only wear them on special occasions.”
“What’s this about special occasions, hon?” asked Tex, coming into the kitchen to grab something from the fridge.
“Leonidas Flake. Remember him?”
“Oh, of course. Terrible business. I have several Flake suits upstairs.”
“You have Flake suits?” asked Gran. “But they cost a fortune.”
“Oh, no,” said Marge. “He has his haute couture line, of course, and those pieces are priceless, but he has his prêt-à-porter line and he did a collaboration with the Gap a couple of years ago, and those were very reasonably priced.”
“Very reasonably priced,” Tex agreed as he took a barbecued chicken wing from the fridge and gave it a tentative nibble.
“Leonidas Flake and the Gap? Well, what do you know?” said Gran.
“Lots of designers pull stunts like that,” said Marge. “Stella McCartney did a line for H&M a couple of years ago, and I heard Vera Wang might team up with Costco next year. If they want to survive, these high-end fashion brands need to find a fresh clientele. They can’t go on like they used to, and only sell the high-priced stuff in their flagship stores on Fifth Avenue or whatever. It’s called the democratization of fashion and Leonidas Flake was all for it.”
“The opportunity for the common man and woman to wear haute couture is a chance you don’t want to miss, Vesta,” said Tex, waving the chicken wing.
Gran felt like grabbing the chicken wing and shoving it down Tex’s throat, but she restrained herself with a powerful effort. For some reason her son-in-law always brought out the worst in her, even though by all accounts he was a great guy, and she couldn’t have wished Marge a better husband.
“I’ve been looking into this Flake,” she said, “and all his business decisions the last couple of years have been sound. Extremely sound, in fact. His worst period seems to have been the early eighties, when he was on the verge of collapse. The big turnaround for him came about thirty years ago—not coincidentally the year he met Gabriel Crier.”
“Leo Flake always called Gabe Crier his good-luck charm,” said Marge.
Gran goggled at her daughter. “How come you know so much about Flake? I never even heard of the guy before today.”
Marge shrugged. “I guess I like to read about fashion,” she said, suddenly displaying a slight blush.
“Your daughter has quite the passion for fashion,” Tex quipped. “In fact if she hadn’t found a job at the library she would have gone into designing, isn’t that right, darling?”
“Yeah, well, I guess it’s a little hobby of mine,” said Marge. “And I wouldn’t mind designing a few pieces from time to time.”
“Well, why don’t you?” said Tex. “You never know where it will take you.”
“Oh, but I’m not a designer, darling.”
“I’m not saying you are and I’m not saying you aren’t. I’m just saying give it a shot.”
“Oh, darling,” said Marge, and wrapped her arms around her husband’s neck. “Look at you being all supportive.”
“That’s because I love you, my sweet, and I want you to be happy.”
Kissing ensued, and Gran rolled her eyes. “So this Gabriel guy is the real genius behind Flake’s success?” she asked, trying to get the lovebirds back on track.
“Well, no, the real genius has always been Leo Flake,” said Marge. “But even a genius can have a lesser period. And that lesser period threatened to derail his career, until he met Gabe, and that’s when the magic returned.”
“Huh,” said Gran. “Interesting. So by all rights Gabe should be the one to take over the company now that his boyfriend is dead.”
“Yeah, but that will never happen,” said Tex. “Because Gabe is a murderer. And murderers don’t run companies, do they?” He was talking to Gran as if she were a toddler, and she had to bite back a scathing retort or two.
“Yeah, tough to run a company from prison,” she said.
“Too bad,” said Marge. “With Leonora in charge things don’t look too good. She’s very old-fashioned, and has been dying to return to the old way of doing business: only high-end fashion and only selling through a few well-chosen flagship stores. So no more Leonidas Flake for me, I’m afraid.”
“Design your own dresses, darling,” said Tex. “And a few tuxes for me, while you’re at it.”
“Oh, I couldn’t,” said Marge.
“No, I’m telling you you could.”
“Oh, darling, no.”
“Yes, darling, yes.”
“Oh, for crying out loud,” Gran groaned, and took her phone and walked out of the house, through the backyard, through the hole in the hedge, into Odelia’s backyard, and then into the house through the sliding glass door.
She plunked herself down at the kitchen table and was gratified to find that Odelia was out so she had the place to herself. Sometimes that was exactly what a person needed: some peace and quiet to hear oneself think.
And she’d been sitting there for a couple of minutes, her Wi-Fi switched over to Odelia’s network, when Harriet hopped up onto the high stool next to hers and gave her a plaintive look.
“Gran,” she said. “Have you seen Max and Dooley?”
“No, I haven’t,” said Gran. “Why? Are they missing?”
“I guess they are,” said Harriet. “First they went on strike, and then they disappeared.”
“They should have been home by now,” grumbled Brutus, taking up position on the stool to Gran’s other side.
“They’re probably in town or in the park,” said Gran distractedly while she read through Gabe Crier’s Wikipedia page again.
“I guess they are,” said Harriet dubiously.
It was actually the first time that Harriet had expressed concern about Max, and the realization made Gran sit up. “So what makes you think they’re in trouble?”
“I’m not sure,” said Harriet. “Just a bad feeling I have.”
“Yeah, I have a bad feeling, too,” said Brutus.
Huh. Two cats with bad feelings. That was a first. “What do you think happened?” she asked. Others might scoff at feline intuition, just as they might scoff at female intuition, but Gran, after a long life lived in the company of cats, knew never to discard those sensations. Often they were warranted.
“I’m not sure,” said Harriet. “But they should be home by now.”
“Yeah, Max isn’t one to miss his dinner,” said Brutus.
“Nor is Dooley,” Harriet added.
“We told Odelia and Chase, and they left to look for them,” said Brutus.
“Oh, so Odelia is on the case? Then you’ve got nothing to worry about. If anyone can find them it’s Odelia. She and Max share a special bond.”
“Not lately,” said Harriet.
“What do you mean?”
“Odelia has been neglecting us. Which is why we went on strike.”
“You went on strike?” asked Gran with a laugh.
“Yeah, all of us,” said Brutus. “If Odelia stops sending the love, we stop helping her catch the bad guys or write her articles. So we went on strike.”
“Huh,” said Gran. It made perfect sense to her. If Odelia decided to ignore her precious cats, of course they would rebel. “You did the right thing,” she said. “Though you might have talked to Odelia before you decided to go on strike. I mean, how do you know she knows you’re on strike, if you know what I mean? And if she doesn’t know, how can she be expected to change?”
This made both Harriet and Brutus think for a moment.
“Yeah, I guess we should have said something,” Harriet finally admitted.
“We were upset,” said Brutus. “So we di
dn’t think.”
“Don’t worry. It’s been known to happen to me,” said Gran. “Now why don’t we simply wait for Odelia to return? I’m sure she’ll find Max and Dooley. Okay?”
Both cats nodded, clearly much relieved. It touched Gran’s heart to know how much her cats cared for each other. Usually cats are characterized as solitary creatures who don’t play nice with other members of their species, but that obviously wasn’t the case with Max, Dooley, Harriet and Brutus. They were a foursome that watched out for one another.
“What are you doing, Gran?” asked Harriet now, her most pressing concern addressed and alleviated.
“The Leonidas Flake business. I’m not so sure they got the right guy.”
“You don’t think the lover did it?” asked Brutus.
“Just a hunch,” she said. “Like you with Max missing? Same for me with this case. Just a hunch not all is as it seems.”
“We should probably talk to Pussy,” said Harriet.
“Pussy? I thought you had talked to her.”
“No, we didn’t,” said Harriet. “We were on strike, remember?”
Harriet was right. If there was one cat who knew what was going on, it would be Pussy. And so Gran made one of those impulsive decisions that were typical of her and could drive the people around her up the wall sometimes. “Let’s go,” she told Harriet and Brutus, and jumped down from the stool.
“Go where?” asked Harriet, perking up.
“We’re driving over to the Flake place to talk to Pussy. I don’t know why, but I have a strong suspicion she’s the key to this whole darn mystery.”
Chapter 21
“I want you to know, Max,” said Dooley, “that you’ve always been the cat in the world I’ve admired the most.”
“Thanks, I guess,” I said. I was pacing the room, trying to come up with a way out of our predicament. It was a little hard to see how, though, as the room had been designed to keep its inhabitants in, or at least that was my impression.
“And I want you to know that you can have all my earthly possessions after I’m gone,” Dooley continued.