Death of a Wicked Witch

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Death of a Wicked Witch Page 7

by Lee Hollis


  “Fine, you head over there and I’ll be there shortly,” Hayley said, and hung up. She crossed to Reverend Staples’s office door and rapped on it. “I’m leaving now, Reverend. I left the reception room just as I found it.”

  She wasn’t sure if she heard him say something or not, but after a few seconds of silence, Hayley sighed and hurried out the side door to her car.

  When she arrived at the Cottage Street drugstore—which had a whole aisle devoted to Halloween trinkets, toys, and costumes—she found Mark Garber standing in the middle of the aisle, staring at a shelf full of masks, utterly confused and noncommittal. When he sensed Hayley approaching, he smiled at her and sighed. “Thank God you came! I’m at a total loss...”

  Hayley touched his arm and reassured him, “Stop worrying. We’ll find you something.”

  After a few seconds of perusing the left over choices that had been thoroughly picked over, Hayley zeroed in on a mask in a damaged package, stuffed in the back of the shelf in front of another box of the same mask. There were only two of this particular mask left in stock. Hayley knew this was the right one and turned to Mark. “Do you have some coveralls?”

  “Yeah, I think so,” he said with a nod.

  “How about a black jacket and black boots?”

  “Yes, for sure.”

  Hayley reached in, grabbed the half-crushed box with its torn plastic cover and handed it to Mark. “We’re done.”

  He stared at the mask inside the box. “Creepy. Who is it?”

  Hayley’s mouth dropped open. “You never saw Halloween? Or the dozen sequels and reboots that followed?”

  “No, I’m not much of a movie person. I mostly watch sports,” Mark admitted.

  “It’s Michael Myers, one of film’s greatest serial killers. You’ll be scary but everyone will know who you’re supposed to be. Mary will love it.”

  “Okay,” he said. He turned and grabbed the last remaining Michael Myers mask on the shelf to buy along with the one he already held in his hand.

  “Why are you buying two?”

  “For insurance. I don’t want anyone else buying this last one and showing up at our party in the same costume.”

  “I think you’re safe. It’s only a few hours until the party. Save your money.”

  Mark hesitated, but then tossed the second box back on the shelf. “Maybe you’re right. Thank you, Hayley, you’re a lifesaver,” Mark said, checking his watch and then scurrying to the counter.

  Chapter 14

  Hayley had to admit, she and Gemma rocked it as the Wizard of Oz witches at the Garbers’ Annual Witches Ball. Gemma was luminous in her shimmering white gown and teased out blond hair punctuated with a glossy shiny tiara. She playfully waved her wand at the awed guests as Hayley chased behind her in her green pancake makeup, long crooked nose made of putty, and her black dress and hat. A few of the other guests even burst out in applause as they made their way inside to the party.

  As for their significant others, Bruce and Conner had chosen to team up as the men from the original Men in Black, not the recent reboot with a man and a woman. They wore tailor-made black suits and ties as well as sunglasses to complete the look. They were very proud of the cool factor they felt they were generating.

  Mary Garber, looking more like a Harry Potter wizard than a traditional witch with her purple flowing muumuu with moons and stars printed all over it, sashayed up to the foursome, clapping her hands. “Oh, Hayley, you and Gemma outdid yourselves! You two look perfect!”

  “Thank you, my child,” Gemma cooed in a sing-songy voice that she had practiced by watching the scenes from The Wizard of Oz with Glinda the Good Witch over and over earlier in the day. Hayley just cackled, doing her best Margaret Hamilton impression, but falling a bit short, in her own opinion. Still, Mary seemed to love it. Mary then turned to the boys.

  “Look who it is, the Blues Brothers!” Mary cried, clapping her hands again.

  Bruce and Conner exchanged a disappointed look. Bruce turned back to Mary. “We’re supposed to be the Men in Black.”

  “I never saw those movies. I don’t like anything that has to do with aliens, but you look just like the Blues Brothers!”

  Conner did not appreciate the misinterpretation of his costume choice and huffed, “Well, we’re not. We’re Men in Black!”

  Mark Garber joined his wife’s side, looking appropriately scary as Michael Meyers. He towered over them because he was wearing work boots with lifts to make him appear taller. He raised the mask Hayley had picked out for him. “Let me guess. The Blues Brothers!”

  Conner sighed, giving up. “Okay, yes, fine, we’re the Blues Brothers.”

  “I don’t remember one of them having a broken arm,” Mark said, looking at the sling Conner was wearing.

  “They didn’t,” Conner tried to explain. “I fell off the roof.”

  “In which movie did one of the Men in Black fall off the roof?” Mary asked, blinking, utterly confused.

  “No one fell off the roof!” Conner cried.

  “Actually you did,” Gemma reminded him.

  “In real life, yes, this is a genuine injury, not part of the costume!” Conner yelled.

  Trudy Lancaster, who also happened to be decked out in the same loose-fitting Wicked Witch of the West costume as Hayley, hustled up to her. She looked much healthier than the last time Hayley had seen her despite her painted green face. She had obviously regained her strength with each passing hour.

  “I guess we should have consulted each other on our witch costumes,” Hayley said, laughing. “Oh, well. Great minds think alike, I guess.”

  Trudy didn’t crack a smile over the two of them wearing the same costume. She was too preoccupied and dead serious.

  “Hayley,” she said urgently in a hushed tone. “May I speak to you privately, please?”

  “Yes, of course, Trudy,” Hayley said. They stepped over to a corner of the room with very little traffic so they would not be overheard.

  “You’re looking so much better,” Hayley said, relieved.

  “I feel better,” Trudy confirmed before adding, “Let’s hope it lasts.”

  “Why? What’s going on?”

  “I have to get outside and fire up the grill in my truck, people are getting hungry, but I wanted you to know that the toxicology report came back.”

  “And?”

  “The lab found traces of an insecticide in my system!”

  “An insecticide? What kind of insecticide?”

  “A pretty fatal one if enough is ingested. But I only consumed a very small amount, enough to make me sick but not enough to kill me.”

  “But how... ?”

  “You know how! It was that candy apple Cloris Fennow came around with. I knew she was acting suspicious when she showed up at my truck. She was perspiring and nervous and couldn’t run away fast enough after I took the first bite of that apple!”

  “Cloris? Are you absolutely sure?”

  “Yes! I’m certain of it! The only trouble is, I can’t prove it. I gave the doctor a list of all the food I had eaten that day before I started getting sick. I had a full breakfast, a power bar, a handful of almonds. I swear, if Ted hadn’t gotten me to the hospital to get my stomach pumped, I’d still be bed-ridden. It’s so obvious Cloris wanted me out of the picture! But unfortunately, there’s no way of conclusively proving the insecticide came from eating her candy apple.”

  “Has Sergio seen the toxicology report yet?”

  Sergio Alvarez, Hayley’s brother-in-law, was the police chief.

  Trudy nodded. “First person I talked to. He said he’ll keep investigating to see if he can uncover more substantial evidence that points the finger at Cloris. Look, I better get outside and start making sandwiches before the guests storm my food truck.”

  “Good luck,” Hayley said as Trudy lifted the hem of her witch’s dress and hurried toward the front door and outside.

  Hayley noticed Reverend Staples—who was, in her best estimation,
dressed as one of the apostles from the Last Supper—trying to intercept Trudy. He managed to snare her upper arm and pull her over close to him, but Trudy rather directly and abruptly yanked her arm free, said something to him under her breath, and kept going out the door.

  Off to her right, Hayley noticed that Edie Staples had also witnessed the brief, terse exchange between her husband and his object of affection.

  And an incensed Edie had seen enough.

  Downing the rest of her witch’s brew cocktail consisting of chilled vodka, lemon and lime soda, pineapple juice, and—for color—green Jell-O, Edie slammed the glass down on the coffee table and started yelling.

  “How dare you humiliate me like this, in front of our congregation, practically the entire town?”

  The blood began draining from Reverend Staples’s face as he made his way through the crowd, his mind no doubt racing over just how he was going to politely silence his wife short of muzzling her mouth with his hand.

  Mary suddenly appeared at Hayley’s side and sighed. “I knew someone would cause a scene. It happens every year.”

  “This one is shaping up to be one for the record books,” Hayley whispered.

  Edie stumbled a bit, then managed to balance herself, giving her husband the stink eye as he struggled to reach her. Before he could get to her, however, she whirled around to the crowd of guests, most of whom were frozen in place watching her with rapt attention as she unraveled right in front of them. “In case any of you have been living in a cave these past few weeks, my husband, the good Reverend Staples, the pillar of our community, the arbiter of morality and decency, is in love with another woman!”

  Although the rumor mill had already been churning at a clipped speed, the announcement was shocking enough to illicit a few surprised gasps.

  “That’s right! Just in time for our retirement, my cheating husband has decided to chase after a woman far less than half his age! In fact, she could be his granddaughter!”

  Reverend Staples finally managed to push his way across the room and get to his wife, clasping her hand and nearly twisting her arm behind her back like a cop would to frog-march a perp. “I’m sorry, everyone, Edie has had a little too much to drink, and isn’t thinking clearly. She’s quite mistaken—”

  Edie scoffed. “I’m not an idiot! I know what’s going on!”

  Reverend Staples kept pushing his boozy, belligerent wife toward the door, but it only made her madder and more determined to embarrass him. “Look, everyone, this apostle has made such a fool of himself, he wants to leave the Last Supper early! Can you believe that? Our minister is standing up Jesus!”

  Finally, mercifully, Reverend Staples was able to hustle his drunk, angry wife out of the party.

  Mary Garber turned to Hayley and chuckled. “One for the record books, indeed.”

  Chapter 15

  After Reverend and Mrs. Staples’s hasty retreat from the Witches Ball, the festivities resumed without further incident, at least for a little while. Hayley chatted with a coven of witches, who by day worked as tellers at the First National Bank, then moved on to Nurse Tilly from the hospital who was ravishing in an all-white flowing sheer gown as Jadis the White Witch from The Chronicles of Narnia. Tilly was distracted by her boyfriend, Sam, a firefighter—not a real one, but dressed like one—who stepped on the hem of her dress, causing it to rip down the middle. After yelling at him, she dashed to the bathroom to see if she could fix it. Hayley gave Sam a sympathetic smile and excused herself in order to refill her witch’s brew.

  Liddy Crawford, local real estate maven and Hayley’s best friend next to Mona Barnes, frantically ran up behind Hayley, and shouted, “Hayley, we have a situation!”

  Hayley turned around, surprised to see Liddy decked out in the same Wicked Witch of the West costume, green makeup and all. Liddy’s face fell. “Hayley! What were you thinking dressing up in the same costume as me? Why didn’t you call and consult me?”

  “Because frankly I never thought in a million years you’d come dressed as a Wicked Witch! I thought for sure you’d choose something more glamorous like Maleficent so people would compare you to Angelina Jolie!”

  “Well, I didn’t want to be predictable! Everyone expects me to look beautiful! I thought I’d go in a different direction!”

  “You said something about a situation?”

  “Yes! I saw that new food truck lady outside as I was arriving and she’s also wearing the same costume as me, I mean us!”

  “I know.”

  “You knew and you didn’t tell me?”

  “To be fair, I just saw her a few minutes ago, and didn’t think I needed to put out a breaking news alert.”

  “This is a disaster! I’m so sorry you both have to go home and change!”

  Hayley laughed in Liddy’s frantic green face. “Forget it, Liddy. I know your goal in life is to stand out, but you’re just going to have to deal with this situation.”

  “At least Trudy will be outside in her truck all night,” Liddy muttered before looking at Hayley. “You know I love you, and you’re my best friend in the whole wide world, but keep your distance tonight, okay?”

  And then Liddy trundled off toward the bar.

  Hayley scanned the crowd, smiling at all the clever and imaginative costumes on display, and also praying she wouldn’t see anyone else channeling Margaret Hamilton. She spotted Gemma across the room, looking gorgeous as Glinda the Good Witch, holding court, entertaining a gaggle of admiring guests. Hayley marveled to herself at how self-assured and beautiful, how sharp and funny her once gangly, shy daughter had blossomed into as an adult. She was downright bursting with pride. Then, off to Gemma’s right, she saw Conner, shifting uncomfortably, lost in thought, scratching his arm in the sling, as if working up the courage to propose to Gemma right here at the party.

  Hayley took a step toward her daughter when a hand pulled her back and a man said, “You’re not going to listen to a word I said, are you?”

  Hayley spun around to see her handsome Man in Black smiling at her. “What are you talking about?”

  “My advice, to just let things play out naturally. You can’t do it. You’re going to give Gemma a heads-up.”

  Hayley scoffed, “You think you know me so well! But you don’t, Bruce! You don’t know me nearly as well as you think you do because for the record, I was not going to do anything of the kind!”

  Bruce nodded, still sporting that confident, knowing grin, which drove her absolutely crazy because she knew he was right. He handed her a cup of witch’s brew. “I also know you’re probably ready for another round so I took the liberty of getting you a fresh drink.”

  Hayley stared into the bottom of her empty cup and then tossed it into a nearby trash can. She snatched the drink from Bruce and scowled at him. “I never did like the Blues Brothers!”

  Bruce laughed heartily as Hayley stormed off, crossing the room to where Gemma was just finishing a story about how she was working a fancy party in the Hamptons and accidentally released a springform pan filled with chocolate torte. It landed all over the hostess’s ridiculously expensive designer dress.

  As everyone laughed uproariously, Hayley gently pulled Gemma aside and whispered in her ear, “Can I talk to you outside?”

  Gemma gave her a perplexed look. “Sure, Mom. Is everything all right?”

  Hayley nodded. “Yes, I just need to tell you something.”

  Gemma suddenly appeared worried and Hayley touched her arm, and said reassuringly, “No one’s died, I promise.”

  Hayley turned around and weaved her way through the crowd toward the front door. She heard Gemma say to her admirers, “Hold that thought. I’ll be right back.”

  Once they were outside, Hayley led Gemma away from the house down on the lawn where they could have a modicum of privacy.

  “Mom, you’re making me nervous. What is it?” Gemma asked.

  “I just thought you should know, so it doesn’t come as a shock when it actually happens�
�” Hayley suddenly stopped, distracted.

  “What? What?” Gemma cried.

  But Hayley’s attention was focused on something else entirely now. “What’s going on over there?”

  Gemma turned to see what her mother was gawking at. On the street in front of the house, a line of guests—women dressed as witches, men in various costumes including a Stargate soldier, a cowboy, a priest, and someone painted blue with a red vest and pantaloons, obviously going for the genie from Aladdin—all gathered around Trudy Lancaster’s food truck.

  “That’s odd,” Hayley said, leaving Gemma to wander over to the crowd. Gemma immediately followed after her, and as they reached the group milling around the truck, Hayley asked the genie, “What’s going on?”

  “The Garbers told us Wicked ’Wiches would be making us sandwiches all night, but she hasn’t opened yet and we’re all starving.”

  Hayley rapped on the metal security gate that had been rolled down in front of the serving window. “Trudy, there are a lot of hungry people out here!”

  There was no answer from inside.

  Hayley tried pounding on the gate again. “Trudy?”

  Still nothing.

  They couldn’t hear any movement inside the truck. Hayley moved around to the back door and tried opening it but it was locked. She tried the driver’s side door and it was locked too.

  “Maybe she ran out of a condiment or something and went to the store to pick it up,” Gemma suggested.

  “Maybe...” Hayley said absently, starting to get worried.

  The cowboy in line sniffed and said, “What’s that smell?”

  Hayley sniffed too and recoiled at a noxious odor.

  One of the six witches stepped back, pinching her nose, “It smells like gas. I think it’s coming from inside the truck.”

  Hayley started to panic. She banged on the metal gate one more time. “Trudy, are you in there? Are you all right?”

  Gemma gasped, “Mom, if she’s in there, we need to get her out!”

  Hayley turned to the crowd. “Can somebody help me break the lock on the back door?”

 

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