Let us not forget ‘the things which we have heard from the beginning’.
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. God so loved the world, that He gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. Nothing shall separate us from the Love of Christ, neither things present, nor things to come.
Rejoice on earth, praise God on high,
Let thankful tears stream from your eye
For Him from whom all blessings flow.
This joyful day then celebrate,
The greatest the world has seen to date,
On its horizon all aglow.
Still welcoming us, that blessed night,
In which the stars with beauteous light
And heavenly hosts with one glad voice
In Jesus’ coming do rejoice.
I know in Whom my faith is founded,
Though day and night change constantly,
I know the rock on which I’m grounded,
My Saviour waits, unfailingly.
When once life’s evening overcomes me,
Worn down by ills and strife always,
For every day Thou hast allowed me,
I’ll bring Thee higher, purer praise.
The panting hart, the hunt escapèd,
Cries no harder for the pleasure
Of fresh flowing streams of water
Than my soul doth long for God.
Yea, my soul thirsts for the Lord,
God of life, oh when shall I
Approach Thy sight, and drawing nigh,
Give Thee praise in Thine own house.
Why art thou cast down, my soul,
Disquieted in me, oh why?
Foster again the faith of old,
Rejoice in praising Him most high.
Oft hath he taken your distress
And turned it into happiness.
Hope in Him, eyes heavenward raised,
For to my God I still give praise.
Hope will not always fade forever.
Last Sunday morning I was in the French church here, which is very serious and dignified and has something very appealing. The text was Hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown. The end of the sermon was ‘If I forget thee, O Jerusalem, let my right hand forget her cunning’.
After church I took a lovely walk alone on a dyke running past the mills, there was a brilliant sky above the meadows that was reflected in the ditches. There are curious things in other countries, such as the French coast which I saw at Dieppe — the chalk cliffs with green grass on top — the sea and sky — the harbour with old boats like Daubigny paints them, with brown nets and sails, the small houses including a couple of restaurants with little white curtains and green pine branches in the window — the carts with white horses with big blue halters decorated with red tassels — the drivers with their blue smocks, the fishermen with their beards and oiled clothing and the French women with pale faces, dark, often somewhat deep-set eyes, black dress and white cap, and such as the streets of London in the rain with the street-lamps, and a night spent there on the steps of an old, small grey church, as happened to me this summer after that journey from Ramsgate — there are certainly curious things in other countries, too — but last Sunday when I was walking alone on that dyke, I thought how good that Dutch soil was, and I felt something akin to ‘today it is in mine heart to make a covenant with my God’ — because memories of times past came back to me, including how often we walked with Pa to Rijsbergen and so on in the last days of February and heard the lark above the black fields with young green wheat, the shimmering blue sky with white clouds above — and then the paved road with the beech trees — O Jerusalem Jerusalem! or rather O Zundert O Zundert! Who knows but that we may go walking at the seaside together this summer? We really must remain good friends, Theo, and simply believe in God and trust with that faith of old in Him who is able to do above all that we ask or think — who can say to what heights grace can ascend?
Hearty congratulations for today, it’s already half past 1 and therefore already 8 February. May God spare our Father for us for a long time yet ‘and may He join us intimately to one another and let our love of Him make that bond ever stronger’.
Pa wrote that he had already seen starlings, do you remember how they used to sit on the church at Zundert? I haven’t seen any here yet — though there are a lot of crows on the Grote Kerk in the mornings. Now it’s almost spring again and the larks will return again. ‘He reneweth the face of the earth’ and it is written, Behold, I make all things new, and just as He renews the face of the earth, so can He renew and strengthen the human soul and heart and mind — the nature of every true son somewhat resembles that of the son in the parable who ‘was dead, and is alive again’. Let us not forget the words ‘sorrowful, yet alway rejoicing’, ‘unknown, and yet well known’, and write the word woe-spiritedness as two words, woe and spiritedness, and believe in God who in His own good time can make the loneliness disappear which we sometimes feel so much even in the bustle, of whom Joseph said ‘He hath made me forget my Father’s house and all my sorrow’ — and yet Joseph did not forget his father — you know that of course, but you also know what he meant by those words. Do keep well, give my regards to everyone at the Rooses’, and especially to Mr Tersteeg and his wife, and accept in thought a handshake, and believe me
Your most loving brother,
Vincent
Tell Mr Tersteeg that he shouldn’t be upset about the drawing examples being away for so long, it’s for the high school, 30 have already been chosen — but they still want to select some for the secondary school, which is why they have to keep them for another week or so. You’ll get them back as soon as possible.
Old boy, send me that page from Michelet again, the one you sent me earlier is in my reading-desk in my trunk and I need it again — do write again soon.
106 | Dordrecht, Thursday, 8 March 1877 | To Theo van Gogh (D)
God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape.
Let none of these things move thee.
My dear Theo,
Thanks for your letter, be of good heart, and He shall strengthen thine heart. Today I received a long letter from home in which Pa asked me if it would suit us both to go to Amsterdam next Sunday to visit Uncle Cor. If it’s all right with you, then I’ll come to you in The Hague on Saturday evening on the train that arrives a few minutes after 11, and in the morning we’ll take the first train to Amsterdam and stay till evening.
We ought to do it, Pa seems very keen on the idea, then we’ll be together again next Sunday. It is possible, isn’t it, for me to stay with you that night? Otherwise I’ll go to the Toelast. Write a postcard now if you agree, let us stick close together.
Herewith a few words for Uncle Cor, add something to it if you like. It’s already late, this afternoon I took a walk, because I felt such a need to, first around the Grote Kerk, then the Nieuwe Kerk, and then up onto the dyke where all those mills are that one sees in the distance if one walks along the railway tracks. There is so much in that singular landscape and vicinity that speaks and seems to say ‘be of good courage, fear not’.
There are days in one’s life when all members suffer because one member suffers, and where there is true ‘godly sorrow,’ God is not far, He who will hold us. If we believe that, let us, in those days, fervently desire and ask for things we should like to see happen, that we might also be heard. Would you also ask for me that a way be found for me to devote my life, more so than is now the case, to the service of Him and the gospel? I continue to insist and I believe that I’ll be heard, I say this in all humility and bowing myself down, as it were. It is such an import and such a difficult matter, and yet I desire it. One might say it isn’t humanly possible, but if I think about it more seriously and delve beneath the surface of what is humanly impossible
, then truly my soul waiteth upon God, for it is possible for Him who speaks, and it is done, who commands, and it stands, and it stands fast. O Theo, Theo, old boy, if only it might happen to me and that deluge of downcastness about everything which I undertook and failed at, that torrent of reproaches I’ve heard and felt, if it might be taken away from me and if I might be given the opportunity and the strength and the love required to develop and to persevere and to stand firm in that for which my Father and I would offer the Lord such heartfelt thanks. A handshake in thought and regards to everyone at the Rooses’, ask it for me in this thy day, and believe me
Your most loving brother
Vincent
109 | Dordrecht, Friday, 23 March 1877 | To Theo van Gogh (D)
Dordrecht, 23 March 1877
My dear Theo,
Want to make sure you receive a letter on your trip. What a good day we spent together in Amsterdam, I stood there watching the train you left in as long as it was still in sight. We’re such old friends, aren’t we? How long we’ve walked together, starting in the black fields with the young green wheat at Zundert, where we heard the lark at this time of year with Pa.
In the morning I went with Uncle Cor to see Uncle Stricker, where we had a long talk about you-know-what. In the evening at half past six Uncle Cor brought me to the station, it was a beautiful evening and in everything there was so much that seemed to speak, the weather was still and there was a bit of mist in the streets, as is usually the case in London. Uncle had toothache that morning, but fortunately it didn’t last, we went to the flower market too, it’s good to love flowers and pine branches and ivy and hedges of hawthorn, we have seen them from the very beginning. Wrote home about how we had spent our time in Amsterdam and what we talked about. Arriving here I found a letter from home at Rijken’s. Pa was unable to preach last Sunday and the Rev. Kam stood in for him — I know that his heart is burning within him that something might happen so that I could give myself over not only almost but altogether to following Him, Pa always hoped I would do so, oh! may it come to pass, and may there be a blessing on it.
The print that you gave me of ‘Heaven and earth shall pass away, but My words shall not pass away’ and the portrait of the Rev. Heldring are already hanging in my room, oh, I’m so glad to have them, they give me hope. Am writing to you off hand about my plans; my idea becomes clear and firm by doing so. For the time being I’m thinking of the words ‘it is my portion to keep Thy word’, have such a desire to familiarize myself with the treasure of biblical scripture, to know all those old stories thoroughly and lovingly, especially to learn what we know about Christ. In our family, which is indeed a Christian family in the full sense of the word, there has always been a minister of the gospel as far back as one can see, from generation to generation. Why should that voice not be heard in this and in following generations? Why should a member of that family not now feel himself called to that office and think, with some reason, that he can and must declare himself and seek the means to achieve that goal? It is my prayer and deepest desire that the spirit of my Father and Grandfather may rest upon me, and that it may be given me to be a Christian and a Christian labourer, that my life may resemble that of them whom I name — the more, the better — for behold, that old wine is good and I desire not the new. Their God shall be my God, and their people my people, that this may be my portion: to know Christ in His full worth and to be constrained by His love. What that Love is, is so beautifully said in the words ‘as sorrowful, yet alway rejoicing’, and in 1 Cor. XIII, it beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things, it never faileth. It is in my heart today, those words of the pilgrims going to Emmaus when evening was come and the sun had gone down, ‘But they constrained Him, saying, Abide with us’.
You like it too, that ‘sorrowful, yet alway rejoicing’, keep it in mind, because they are good words and a good cloak in the storm of life, keep it in mind at this time, now that you’ve experienced so much lately. And be careful, because even though it’s no small thing that you’ve experienced, yet, if I see rightly, there is something greater in store, and you too will remember the words of the Lord: I have loved thee with an everlasting Love, I will comfort you as one whom his mother comforteth. I shall send you another Comforter, even the Spirit of truth, I will make a new covenant with you, be separate, and touch not the unclean thing, I will be your God, and you shall be My people, I will be a Father unto you, and you shall be My sons and daughters. Hate sin and the places where it resides, and come not nigh, it attracts so easily with a false appearance of being something great, and does what the devil did to Christ when he showed Him all the kingdoms of the earth and their glory and said, ‘All these things will I give Thee, if Thou wilt kneel down and worship me’. There is something better than the glory of worldly things: it is the feeling we get when our heart burns within us upon hearing His word, it is faith in God, the Love of Christ, faith in immortality, in a life after this life. Hold fast to what you have. Theo, old boy, brother whom I love, I have such a great longing for that thing which you know of, but how shall I ever get it? How I wish that I, like Pa, had already done a lot of the difficult work of a Christian labourer and minister of the gospel and sower of the word. You see, Pa can count his services and Bible readings and visits to the sick and the poor and his written sermons by the thousands, and still he doesn’t look back but goes on doing good. Lift up your eyes for me and pray that it may be given to me, just as I now do for you, may He give you the desires of thine heart, He who knows us better than we know ourselves and who is able to do above all that we ask or think, for His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts, as high as the Heaven is above the earth. And may you continue to think of Christ as a Comforter and God as a refuge.
I wish you well on your trip; write soon, and accept a handshake in thought, adieu, and believe me ever
Your loving brother
Vincent
May Pa get better soon, try to be in Etten at Easter, things will be all fine once more when we’re together again.
With many things in the past, also with what you’ve experienced, it could be that ‘thou shalt find it after many days’.
Amsterdam, 30 May 1877–3 April 1878
117 | Amsterdam, Wednesday, 30 May 1877 | To Theo van Gogh (D)
Amsterdam, 30 May 1877
My dear Theo,
Thanks for your letter of today, I have to do a few things and so am writing in haste. Gave your letter to Uncle Jan, accept his warm regards and he thanks you for writing.
There were some words in your letter that touched me, ‘I should really like to get away from everything, I’m the cause of everything and only make others sad, I alone have caused all this misery to myself and others’. Those were words that touched me — because that same feeling, exactly the same, nothing more and nothing less, is also on my conscience.
When I think of the past — when I think of the future, of nearly insurmountable difficulties, of much and difficult work which I have no passion for, which I — the evil part of me, that is — would prefer to avoid, when I think of the eyes of so many that are fixed upon me — who, if I do not succeed, will know the reason why — who will not utter any ordinary reproaches but who, because they have been tried and are well versed in what is good and proper and fine gold, as it were, will say it by the expression on their faces: we helped you and have been a light unto you — we did for you what we could. Did you sincerely desire it? What are our wages and the fruits of our labours? You see, when I think of all that and of so much else, all manner of things — too many to mention, of all the troubles and worries which do not become less as one progresses through life, of suffering, of disappointment, of the danger of failing to a scandalous extent, then that desire is no stranger to me either — I would really like to get away from everything!
And yet — I go on — but with caution and in the hope that I’ll succeed in warding off all these th
ings, so that I can somehow answer all the reproaches that threaten, trusting that in spite of everything that seems to be against me I shall attain that thing that I desire, and, God willing, shall find grace in the eyes of some whom I love, and in the eyes of those who shall come after me.
It is written, lift up the feeble hands, and the knees which hang down, and when the disciples had toiled all night and had taken nothing, it was said unto them, Launch out into the deep, and let down your nets again.
My head is sometimes numb and is often burning hot, and my thoughts are confused — how shall I ever get all that difficult and detailed study into it? — I don’t know — after those turbulent years, becoming accustomed to plain, well-ordered work and persevering in it isn’t always easy. And yet I go on, if we’re tired, isn’t it because we’ve already gone a long way, and if it’s true that man’s life on earth is a struggle, isn’t feeling tired and having a burning head a sign that we have struggled? When one labours at difficult work and strives for good results, one fights the good fight, the reward of which, surely, is already this: that one is preserved from much that is evil. And God beholds the labour and the sorrow, and can help in spite of everything.
Ever Yours Page 12