by June Beyoki
“I feel hot, spicy wasabi from my head moving downwards, Lisa.”
or
“I can’t walk straight, I need to go to the bathroom.”
I stayed with Andrew from morning till night during those critical times after the transplant. Doctors warned of infection risks as he has totally zero immune system until engraftment takes place. As it turns out, he started engrafting only after three weeks and was given the green light to go home after five weeks.
Andrew
The nights were quiet and I was experiencing very bad side-effects with fever and mouth ulcers. I heard noises at night but was surprisingly calm as I talked to them and asked for permission to stay during treatment. Then I gave my reassurance that I will be gone after that. For two days I had these encounters and for two days I repeated my message to them and then chanted to the Goddess of Mercy. I was left to rest and sleep thereafter.
Lisa took me home in the month of May 2014. As she pulled into the car park, I felt anxious and happy to be coming home to my family. My legs were so wobbly as I opened the car door and had to hold on to it for support. Grateful to be given a second chance, I hugged my children as they came to me unaware of the overwhelming feeling that I was experiencing.
I have not been a religious person but these past few months had me thinking of my purpose in this world, the path I had to go through and the reason for it. And I wondered if all these were my past and present karma or the forces that be in this universe. I am not sure which, what or who decided on my destination but everyone has a choice of the journey he takes and no matter which way it will lead to his pre-determined destination. There are no guarantees in this second lease of life but fretting about the future doesn’t do any good, so we will face each challenge as they come.
People say that sexual function for cancer survivors barely exists but that night Lisa and I made love on the bed we had not shared for a long time. It was not hot passionate lovemaking but slow and tender….both of us understanding and appreciating each other from a different perspective.
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Epilogue
It took awhile to get used to not having to visit the hospital every day and Lisa was apprehensive when Andrew wanted to help in the daily chores. After almost a year of non-stop stress, it took awhile for Lisa to let go, learn not to be too protective and let Andrew stand on his feet again. One year has passed since the transplant and Andrew has decided not to get back into the stressful life he led before. So that meant selling his business and spending more time with the family. He has become more involved in the children’s affairs and for that Lisa is grateful.
As for his brothers and sisters, Andrew had long ago accepted that he cannot force them to do what they are not willing to and has no ill feelings towards them. He even visited his sister after five months from his transplant. Lisa has not been as forgiving.
THE END
About the Author
June Beyoki is an accomplished paralegal who lives in the island of Penang and often finds herself engrossed reading romance novels. She started writing as a form of healing in year 2014 when her family was undergoing some major life changes.