“Don’t knock my circus peanuts,” John warned, taking another bite. “They are awesome especially when you are watching a movie. She sent me a lot of things and we got to talking. She’s the person I called when the bomb went off. Man, I was in a really bad place.”
“Me too,” Ethan scoffed, staring at the man. “It was my leg.”
“Your leg, as you put it, almost mentally broke me. That was the first time I called her and heard Lily’s voice. She got me through some of the dark spots in my life and I knew that I couldn’t move forward with who I was until I had a chance to meet her.”
“I know what you mean.”
“Now it’s your turn- tell me about Daisy?”
“She was my counselor initially. I was in a really bad place mentally when I was discharged from the hospital. You guys were gone. I didn’t feel like myself anymore and my life had suddenly changed. A terrible job, combined with loneliness and depression… I was a mess. Daisy shoved a puppy into my arms one day and treated me like I was a real person. That is when I knew that I was on the road back to becoming myself again.”
“So, how’d you make the jump to boyfriend?”
“I’m not sure I did,” Ethan admitted, staring at his cup of coffee.
“What do you mean?”
“Something’s wrong and she’s not speaking to me right now. I’ve called her but she won’t return my phone calls.”
“Fix it,” John ordered, shoving the second cookie in his mouth indelicately, his eyes closing in happiness. “Chocolate chip. Man, I love these things.”
“You are gonna get fat, dude.”
“Nah. I run a lot to work this stuff off,” John joked, patting his midsection emphatically. “Besides, I gotta keep fit for my job – and you are changing subjects. I saw you two at the wedding and I know it’s serious between you both.”
“I told Daisy I was going back to school and everything went downhill from there.”
“Are you kidding? Why wouldn’t she want you to go back to school? There’s got to be more to it – start from the beginning.”
Ethan replayed the scene in his mind, retelling everything that happened when John suddenly snorted, choking on his coffee. He grabbed a napkin and coughed hard several times, his eyes watering as he stared at Ethan.
“Are you okay?” Ethan asked, watching the man struggle to catch his breath.
“You’re…an…idiot,” John wheezed and tried to smile, but only coughed again. Ethan rolled his eyes and waited several moments for John to clear his throat. Taking a sip of coffee again, John nodded and spoke.
“Minter the moron.”
“Nope, didn’t miss Afghanistan in the slightest,” Ethan retorted sarcastically, crossing his arms over his chest. He remembered Cooper calling him that once and Wilkes threatening to write it on his forehead when he slept.
“Daisy was probably expecting you to tell her that you love her.”
“She knows that.”
“You’ve told her?” John asked pointedly.
“Not in so many words.”
“You have to tell her,” John advised firmly, his eyes getting a faraway look and Ethan knew he was thinking of his new wife, Lily. “Girls need to hear it. They want to be told how special they are, show them how much you care – don’t assume they know it.”
“I know she’s got to realize it.”
“It’s your loss,” John shrugged. “If you don’t care enough to tell her…”
“I do but she’s ended things,” Ethan protested, feeling helpless and frustrated at the same time. He felt like the one bright point in his life was slipping away and he couldn’t do anything about it.
“Are you sure?”
“She’s not calling me back. That pretty much tells me she doesn’t want to talk to me.”
“Did you check on her? See her face to face? What if she’s hurt?”
The idea of Daisy being hurt and alone deeply disturbed him. Ethan thought of her tripping or falling. What if she was sick – and no one was there to help her? It made his stomach clench painfully. John smiled knowingly at Ethan and held his cup up in a mock salute.
“I’m guessing that if you go see her, that things will have a way of working themselves out. If you love her, don’t give up on her so easily. You have a busy afternoon ahead of you, Minter. You need to email Wilkes and you should go see your lady love. Fight for what you need the most in your life – your friends and your loved ones. You’ve already conquered one battle, it’s time to win the war.”
Chapter 15
“Daisy?”
Daisy heard a voice knocking at the front door. A female’s voice. Pulling herself up into the wheelchair nearby, she glanced at the clock to see it was nearly four in the afternoon. She’d cancelled meetings the last few days and was silently cursing whoever it was disturbing her. She didn’t want to do anything but lay here in the darkness and hide away from the world. She’d told herself that she wouldn’t allow herself to fall into a pit of depression – yet she had.
She fell hard too.
“Daisy, its Ava. Open the door,” she heard again.
Sighing, Daisy rolled her chair forward towards the doorway and saw the tiny woman standing near the window, her silhouette outlined against the bright afternoon sun. Why wasn’t she going away yet?
“Ava, class is cancelled.”
“I know. Are you alright?”
“Yes, why?”
“One of the dogs ran out into the street and I barely avoided hitting him. I’ve got him by the collar out here and he’s wanting to come inside.”
Stunned, Daisy glanced at the back door and realized that she’d let the dogs out early this morning. She hadn’t brought them back inside nor checked on them. Guiltily, she shoved her hair back from her face and realized just how filthy she was. She hadn’t washed or showered in four days, wearing the same nightgown. She’d fed the dogs and let them out, but neglected herself. Opening the door, a crack, it was enough to let the animal inside. Daisy was stunned to see Ava push it wide open against the wheelchair. Daisy winced at the bright sunshine that flooded the room, outlining the tiny woman.
“What is wrong with you?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing doesn’t smell terrible and look utterly the same,” Ava chastised, holding the baby carrier in her free hand. Releasing the dog’s collar, she stood tall over Daisy sitting in her wheelchair. “I don’t know what’s wrong but one of the first things you told me in group was to clean and dress myself daily to make me feel better.”
“I’m fine.”
“No, you aren’t. Look at you! I don’t have to be a doctor or a counselor to recognize depression – and I am not leaving here until you are cleaned up. Now, go get a shower and I will check on the rest of the animals.” Just then, Ava’s baby let out a cry of distress, causing her frown to deepen even further. “You’ve got a microwave, right?”
“In the kitchen.”
“Good. I’ll check on the dogs and feed Aurora her bottle until you are finished.”
“You don’t have to stay.”
“I don’t have anywhere to go.”
“You were headed somewhere when you nearly hit Ozzy,” Daisy argued, pointing at the Golden Retriever who was sitting nearby, wagging his tail, with his tongue lolling happily.
“I was going to go sit in the park just so I wasn’t staring at four walls and waiting for the next diaper full of poop or the next bottle. Both are just reminders of what happened and how hard being a mother is. Now, go get your shower because Aurora is about ready to start shrieking relentlessly and I can’t handle that.”
Sure enough, the baby was getting more and more irate, her cries gaining in intensity the longer Daisy sat there. Nodding, she turned her wheelchair and saw Ava put down the carrier on the couch, picking up the baby. Digging in her diaper bag, she pulled out a bottle and frowned at Daisy.
“Are you going?” Ava asked point blank, one questioning eyebrow upraised.
“Yes.”
Daisy dutifully rolled away and gathered up her clothing. Turning on the water, she waited for it to heat up before getting in. Picking up her prosthetics, she rolled into the large bathroom. Carefully, she moved her body onto the seat that folded from the wall of the shower. The warm water cascaded over her and she felt a little better already. Sitting there, she found herself rethinking the past several weeks and began crying as she thought of Ethan. She missed him dearly. His voicemails were heartbreaking as he asked repeatedly for her to call him – and she’d ignored them. She wondered if he thought of her or missed her still. He hadn’t called again since Tuesday and today was Saturday.
I think, she thought, realizing that time was slipping by.
Maybe Daisy would invite him over for coffee or see if he wanted to just watch TV together. She was tired of being alone and realized that even if he didn’t love her, having his friendship meant more to her than losing him completely. If he wanted to be just friends, she would settle for that, because not having him in her life was destroying her.
Washing her hair, she vigorously scrubbed herself, thinking that perhaps she could wash away the funk she’d been in the last few weeks. She missed the happiness that she’d felt in being with Ethan. The way he’d smiled at her at the reception, how she’d been able to comfort him when he was emotional. It was like the two needed each other, so why had she given up so easily?
Because you were afraid he didn’t love you, she realized. She’d turned tail and run away the moment she realized that Ethan didn’t need her. He was growing into the person he was meant to be and it scared her. She wanted him to want her – and she’d slinked away in retreat so fast it was terrifying. It was almost comical that Daisy had been afraid that Ethan depended on her too much for his happiness- when in truth, she needed him in the same fashion.
Drying off, she blow-dried her hair and dressed quickly. As she re-entered the hallway, she heard the whistle of the kettle and the sound of cups being set on the counter. Tea with someone sounded just like what she needed.
The sound of Ava cooing at her daughter made her smile with a wistfulness that almost brought tears to her eyes. Daisy wanted children someday, but maybe it was a blessing that she couldn’t have them – she wasn’t ready yet and needed to be strong enough to handle the challenges a newborn would bring. Walking down the hallway, Daisy hesitated as Ava spoke to someone.
“Do you want sugar in your tea?”
Freezing, Daisy put her hand on the wall to steady herself as she waited to see who else was in her home. Hopefully people had gotten the group text message and email notification that group tonight had been cancelled. Time seemed to tick by ever so slowly until she heard Ethan finally speak.
“No, thank you – Daisy and I both drink hot tea without it.”
“Yikes,” Ava muttered. “I like a bit of sugar and just a dab of heavy cream in mine. It makes me feel all cozy and reminds me of my mother. She would make it like that when I was a little girl.”
“Isn’t it funny how it’s the little things you think about?” Ethan commented quietly. Ava glanced up and met Daisy’s eyes as she stepped into the room with them. The baby carrier was being rocked gently by Ethan as Ava took a seat nearby. Three cups were sitting on the table between them. Ethan glanced up at Daisy and she could see the hesitation in his eyes. He was concerned that she wouldn’t welcome him here.
“I’m glad you came,” Daisy admitted, sitting down. Ethan immediately grabbed one of the cups and handed it to her. She accepted the cup and her fingers brushed against his. She saw the flare of awareness in his dark eyes as they met hers.
“Thank you,” she murmured.
Ava took a seat and picked up one of the cups. Taking a noisy sip, she glanced between the two of them before glancing over at the baby in the carrier.
“She’s finally asleep,” Ava whispered, nodding. “Thank you, Ethan.”
“Sure thing.”
“I didn’t mean to interrupt if you two were talking,” Daisy began, feeling like she was a third wheel all of a sudden. Was there something going on that she didn’t know about between the two of them? Feeling sick all of a sudden, she pushed down the wave of despair that surged up inside of her.
“I was just telling her about Wilkes,” Ethan said quickly. He looked like he was trying to make sure Daisy understood that she was welcome. Could it be he didn’t want her to leave? Maybe she wasn’t a third wheel after all?
“I met with John today and Wilkes has an email in Afghanistan. I sent him an email and I hope I hear back from him soon.”
“Can I have your friends’ email?” Ava interrupted, surprising Daisy and Ethan both. He literally reeled back and stopped for a moment.
“I don’t see why not,” Ethan replied.
“Thank you. I thought maybe it might be good for me to talk to someone who can’t judge me or lash out verbally, you know?” Ava admitted truthfully. “It would be like keeping a diary that could talk back to you or interact. Sometimes I can’t say things because people freak out or think badly of me. Being a mother is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done and I could use a low-maintenance friend that isn’t demanding of my time.”
“Wilkes is a jokester. He liked to play a lot of pranks overseas,” Ethan warned as he scribbled down the email address onto a nearby pad of sticky notes.
“Maybe he can tell me a few jokes then?”
“I think a pen-pal would be a good idea,” Daisy said quietly, her mind racing as she thought of Lily and John’s whirlwind romance. “Just remember, you never know who you are writing to and I wouldn’t expect too much other than a simple correspondence. If you need to talk, we can.”
“No, I know,” Ava dismissed, waving them off. “People can be nice to each other or simply chat without it getting weird or strange. I mean, it’s only an email, right?” Ethan looked at Daisy and she knew they were both thinking the same thing. She couldn’t help the smile that seemed to bloom in her heart seeing his smile.
“Annnnd… on that note? I think I will go ahead and leave while Aurora is sleeping. You two look like you could use some time together.”
“What do you mean?” Daisy asked innocently, feeling her stomach drop as she realized that Ava suspected their secret relationship.
“Come on… everyone knows that he’s sweet on you. If you didn’t realize it, then well – the cat is out of the bag now. Good luck, Ethan and thank you for the email. I’ll explain that you gave it out under coercion,” Ava quipped with a smile.
Ava gathered up the infant carrier, diaper bag, and headed to the front door. As it shut, leaving them alone, Daisy suddenly felt shy knowing that she was with the man she adored and had ignored the last two weeks.
“I’m sorry.”
“I am so sorry,” Daisy blurted out at the same time as Ethan. Both looked at each other in surprise and then got quiet. She was so glad that Ava had shown up at her door because she’d have been mortified to have Ethan see her in the condition she was in. She’d been a mess and truthfully felt like her appearance now was a front for her real emotions.
“I feel like I owe you an apology,” Ethan began quietly.
“No, it’s fine.”
“It’s not fine if we can’t talk to each other.”
“Ethan there’s nothing to talk about.”
“The last two weeks didn’t bother you?” Ethan asked pointedly, looking at her. “Because they bothered me tremendously. I hated being out of contact with you and feel like an idiot that I didn’t come by before – in fact- I was called one.”
“What?”
“I stand corrected – I was called a moron.”
“Who called you that?”
“John Griffin when we had coffee today.”
“Why would he say that?”
“Because he was right,” Ethan admitted. “I should have come back here and demanded to know what was wrong. I didn’t know why you were ignoring my calls- onl
y that I couldn’t get a hold of you.”
“I’m here now.”
“And so am I.”
“Then we’re good, right?”
“No,” he said, taking her hand in his. His thumb rubbed over her knuckles tenderly as he looked into her eyes. “I think we have some things that are still unsaid and undone.”
“What do you mean?”
Ethan took his phone out of his pocket and set it on the table, smiling shyly at her. He opened a file and soft music began to play. Daisy’s mouth dropped open in surprise as he got to his feet – without crutches- pulling her with him.
“Your legs…” she breathed reverently. “You’re standing on your own? Did you get a prosthetic limb? I didn’t know that you were looking at getting one.”
“Shhh, come here,” Ethan whispered, pulling her into his arms in the middle of the living room. He held her hand in his and his other hand rested on the small of her back. Daisy looked up at him and saw his expressive face as he stared at her. His proud smile and eyes were filled with caring. She wanted to imagine that he loved her, that this was all some fanciful dream that she would never wake from. There was nothing better than this moment right now.
“There’s a lot of things that I haven’t told you or thought you already knew about me,” he admitted, as he pulled her hand to his chest and laid it over his heart. Daisy couldn’t help her sigh of contentment as she put her head down on the material of his shirt. They’d danced at the reception but it wasn’t quite the same as this – like this, he cradled her against him like they were a true couple… not a couple of friends.
“I have been practicing with a prosthetic limb because I wanted to dance someday at my wedding with the woman I love,” he whispered against her hair. Daisy grew very still and stopped swaying. Ethan’s hand tightened gently over hers as if he was afraid she’d leave the circle of his arms.
“Ethan,” she protested, and started to pull back. She wanted to look at his face, to see his dark eyes and read his emotions in their depths. She didn’t know what she would do if he had fallen in love with someone else! Had he been dangling her along this whole time? She tried to pull her hand from his and step out of his arms.
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