“I know this is new to you, and I won’t push you. I need you to relax, and do what feels natural to you.” “He said watching her eyes as he used one hand to rub up and down her back.
“Am I doing something wrong?” She asked hanging her head down.
“No, baby.” He reassured her as he pulled her chin up to look at him. “I am yours. You can touch, kiss, and explore whatever you want. I want you to be comfortable with me.” Tanner hoped she understood.
She had given a few tentative touches, but most of those had been before he had kissed her. Now, she seemed afraid to touch him. He understood her nervousness. He had been nervous the first time he had kissed a girl, being with Sophia made him quickly forget everything but her. He watched as she bit her lip, then looked up at him. She leaned into him slowly. Before her lips touched his, she cupped his cheek and smiled. Even that small touch made him want more. He expected to feel her lips press against his. Instead, she slowly licked across his bottom lip. Without thought, his tongue came out and swiped at hers. She tilted her head and sucked his tongue in her mouth. The move caught him off guard, he wrapped both arms around her and pulled her as close as possible. She whimpered and he pulled his head back to look at her.
“Did I hurt you?” He asked against her lips.
“No, why?” She asked him confused.
“You whimpered. I was afraid I had been too rough.” He couldn’t stand the thought of hurting her.
“The sound I made was good, I promise.” She rubbed her nose against his. The move was so sweet it made his chest ache.
“Are you trying to seduce me?” He whispered more to himself than to her.
“No, I don’t know how.” She bit her lip.
“Can you do something for me?” Tanner asked softly. When she nodded, he continued. “Can you try to seduce me?” He had to know what would happen if she tried.
“I don’t know how.” She shrugged.
“Do what feels natural. I have seen some of the books you read, I’m sure you have an idea. Will you try, please?” When he had been waiting at her house, he saw all the romance books she had.
“Please don’t laugh at me.” She whispered.
“Never.” He promised.
He leaned his head back against the couch and waited to see what she would do. She leaned in slowly, keeping eye contact. Instead of his lips, she kissed his chin, then bit it and sucked. Then she trailed kisses down his jaw line, and followed it to his ear. She kissed the lobe softly, then used her tongue to pull it in her mouth and suck it. His whole body jerked at the feel of what she was doing, and her hot breath in his ear. Just when he was ready to surrender, she started kissing down his neck. When she got to where his pulse was beating rapidly in his throat, she licked it softly with her tongue, then bit down. He couldn’t take anymore, he forced his weak legs to lift them both off the couch, and carried her to his room.
“Did I do it wrong?” She asked confused. He let her slide down enough to feel the hard ridge behind his zipper. She looked up at him and gasped.
“Does that feel like you did it wrong?” He asked as he walked in his new room.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to tease you.” She bit her lip.
“Never apologize for turning me on.” He told her.
“But I’m not ready for that.” She looked away.
“I know, but like I told you before, there are lots of ways to get there without sex.” He needed her, but he would never force her before she was ready.
“What do you want me to do?” She asked shyly.
“We can stop now if you want to.” He told her.
“But what about…” She trailed off, then looked down.
“Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean anything other than I want you. It will go away eventually.” He smiled at her.
“C-can we do like we did earlier?” She murmured.
“I will give you anything you want, Sophia.” He promised.
He walked the last few steps to the bed, then laid her down on it gently. Her green eyes glittered up at him. This was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She needed to be cherished, loved, and protected for the rest of her life. He was more than happy to do all of those things for the rest of his life. She reached up for him, and he leaned down. He felt like a teenage boy, but if she liked this, he would give it to her. As he took her to her place of bliss, he hoped she could see how much he loved her. Watching her come apart is his arms was one of the best moments of his life.
“Will you stay in here with me tonight?” He said kissing her forehead as they came back down to earth.
“Tanner, I love you, but I’m not ready…” She started.
“I love you too, Sophia, but I only mean sleep and maybe cuddling and talking.” He reassured her.
“Okay, I need to go change.” She told him.
“And there’s the down side.” He sighed.
“What?” She asked confused.
“I have to let you up.” He said rolling to the side.
“I don’t like wet underwear. I need to take a quick shower, then I will be back.” She told him.
“Fine.” He groaned. He could use a shower too. “I’ll go lock up, and meet you here.” She smiled at him, then got out of the bed and left the room.
Tanner jumped up and took the quickest shower he ever had. He usually slept in his underwear but that would make her uncomfortable. He grabbed a pair of basketball shorts and put them on. After going through the house and locking up, he went back to his room. The shower had stopped, but she hadn’t come out yet. He sat on the edge of the bed and waited for her. After a minute, he decided to turn on the TV so she wouldn’t feel like he was impatient. Ten minutes late, she stood in his door way in a tank top and a pair of short jersey shorts. He looked up and she was biting her lip as she stared at his chest.
“See something you like, Soph?” He joked. She blushed and looked away.
“I’m yours to look at any time, and trust me, I see plenty I like.” He stood up and walked to her. He took her hand and pulled her back to the bed with him. “Relax, it’s just us. Remember do what feels natural.”
“Do you talk to the spirits like your mother did?” Sophia asked him. He sat up against the head board and pulled her against him.
“I’m not sure I believe in the spirits. I let my instincts guide me, and it kept us alive while we were in the army.” He told her honestly.
“What are they telling you now?” She looked up at him.
“That you are mine.” He kissed the tip of her nose. She scrunched it up and he laughed.
“What about Steven, are they telling you anything about him?” She asked.
“They say that he is dangerous and this isn’t over.” He told her honestly. She was twisting her fingers and trying not to lean on him. “Soph, this will never work if you don’t relax. Would you rather not be with me? If this isn’t what you want, I need to know now. I know this is new to you, but you seem like you don’t want this unless I force it on you.” He was starting to think Jackson was right, and she didn’t want to be with him. His heart felt like it was beating out of his chest. He was about to lose what meant the most to him. They had only been together twenty-four hours, but she already owned him.
Chapter 9
Sophia played with her fingers. He was more than she could ever hope for, but she couldn’t possibly hold his attention for long. She wanted to wrap herself around him and never let go, but that would be way to needy. She could see all the muscles in his chest and she wanted to touch and kiss them, but what if he changed his mind tomorrow.
“Tanner, I can’t take the risk that you will change your mind. You haven’t been out of the army long, and since you got home, you haven’t seen anyone but me. Once I go home, you will be able to get out and see what’s available in town.” Sophia spoke softly.
“I only want you.” He growled.
“For now, but you are way out of my league.” She replied.
“I know I’m not good enough, but I can guarantee you no one will try harder to make you happy, or will ever love you more than I do.” Dear Lord, this man was crazy.
“I meant the other way around. Just look at you. You’re all sculpted muscles and hard edges. With those high cheek bones, and soul stealing eyes, I don’t even compare. I am soft and squishy everywhere.” Oh no, did she really just blurt that out?
“Look at me.” He growled.
“No.” She whispered.
“Why won’t you look at me?” He didn’t sound happy.
“Because you will steal my soul and I will be left empty.” She snapped. Why couldn’t she just keep her mouth shut?
“You can’t be empty, you already own me heart, body, and soul.” Tanner said turning her head to look at him.
“Tanner, please just let it go. We haven’t gone too far to remain friends. You just need to start dating. I can probably set you up with someone from the hospital.” She could have him a date by Monday night.
“Sophia, you are starting to upset me. I already asked your dad and your brother to marry you.” Tanner growled.
“I know, but I can tell them I thought we were better as friends. No one will blame you.” Sophia was trying to make him understand.
“Dammit, Soph.” Tanner snapped then jumped off the bed. The mattress shift toppled her over and she found herself sprawled across the bed. She looked up to see him stomping back over to her. He crawled over her and used his weight to pin her to the bed. “I wanted to give you time, but if I wait, you will run.” Tanner grabbed her hand. Before she had time to think, he let her go and twined their fingers together.
“What are you talking about, Tanner?” Sophia ask trying to wiggle free.
“I would be still if I were you.” He warned her.
“Why?” She kept wiggling. He pushed his hips down and she gasped. Jeez, he was huge. Her eyes snapped up to his.
“I warned you.” He smiled.
“Fix it.” She demanded.
“Baby, I can’t just ‘fix it’. A man tends to get hard when his fiancée` is wiggling under him.” He smiled.
“I can have you a date by Monday night.” She promised him.
“I will have a date for the rest of my life with my fiancée`.” He told her sternly.
“I didn’t know you were engaged. Did you meet her in the army? Oh no, I’ve been kissing another woman’s man.” Sophia couldn’t believe he hadn’t told her. She didn’t know what emotion to let surface. On one hand, she was mad at him for leading her on; but on the other, her heart was breaking. She squeezed her eyes shut so he couldn’t read her expression.
“Sophia, open your eyes.” He demanded, but she shook her head no. He moved her hand between them and tipped her chin up. “Sophia Maddix, look at me.” The tone of his voice had her eyes snapping open.
Her eyes connected with his and he smiled. She was fighting his pull. She couldn’t let herself be drawn into whatever drama he had going on. He pulled her hand to his lips and kissed her ring finger, then turned it to face her. On her ring finger sat the antique ring his mother had always loved. It had a large round cut diamond, that was surrounded by small emeralds. Sophia gasped and pulled it closer. She thought the ring had been buried with his mother. Tears streamed down her face as she remembered watching it sparkle as they baked together. She had told her it was a bit flashy, but his father had picked it out, and she couldn’t bear to part with it. Tanner wiped the tears from her eye, then kissed her cheeks.
“Marry me, Soph.” He smiled at her. “It’s not a question, we will be married. You need to know this is it for me. You are all I want. I know it’s hard to believe after what your mom put you through, but you are perfect. You are my everything. I can give you time to plan the wedding you want, but you are mine always.” Tanner moved her hand, and kissed her lips.
The kiss started slow, she wasn’t sure what just happened. Tanner was on top of her, telling her they were getting married. Plump Sophia was going to marry the stone sculpted Tanner. At the moment, his hardness was feeling pretty good. She pulled her hands from his, and ran them down his back. She could feel the muscles quiver under her touch. Heaven help her, this man was built. She wiggled to relieve some of the pressure building inside her. That just settled him closer to her. She could feel the heat of him against her center. Her hands moved down over his shorts and she squeezed, pushing him harder into her. She moaned into the kiss.
“Soph, we have to stop.” Tanner said trying to pull away.
“No.” She murmured kissing his neck.
“I can’t take much more. We have to stop.” He groaned. Instead of answering, she sucked his earlobe into her mouth and swirled her tongue around it. Tanner’s hips jerked hard against her. “Soph, stop. You aren’t ready.” He said through gritted teeth.
“How can I not be ready for the man I’m going to marry.” She whispered in his ear. His whole body shook at her words.
“Soph, no. I don’t have any protection here.” He told her.
“I’m clean, of course, since I’m a virgin.” She said kissing down his neck again.
“I am too, but that doesn’t stop pregnancy.” He mumbled.
“You don’t want kids?” She asked. That was a deal breaker for her.
“Of course, I do. All with your green eyes and heart shaped face.” He told her.
“Then we’re good.” She smiled at him.
“Sophia, are you sure you’re ready? We can wait. I love you, but are you ready to have a baby?” He was trying to protect her.
“As long as you are by my side, yes I am ready.” She promised him.
Tanner groaned as he leaned down to kiss her. Sophia’s heart was racing, and so was his. She could feel it beating against her chest. She was nervous, but this felt right. When her lungs burned for air. His lips trailed across her jaw to her ear, then down her throat. It took Sophia a minute to realize the breathy sounds she heard were coming from her. This man turned her inside out. She ran her fingers through his hair, then gripped it to pull him back to kiss her. He groaned and used one hand to push up the bottom of her tank top. The roughness of his hand on her stomach sent her into over drive.
Tanner broke the kiss and moved down her body to kiss her stomach. She went to cover up and turn away, but he held her where she was. His lips followed the hem of her tank top as he pushed it up. When he pushed it over her breasts, she had a moment of panic. She didn’t have perky breasts. She was a big girl, and they were big and heavy. He pulled back to look at them and she tried to cover them.
“Don’t hide from me, Soph. I love every part of you. These are perfect.” He said looking up at her.
He cupped one globe in his hand and she was surprised to see that is fit just right in his palm, just barely spilling over. He looked up at her and smiled, then leaned down to kiss what little spilled over. She had never dreamed how sensitive they could be to a man’s touch. As he kissed, licked, and sucked, she went wild under him.
“Now Tanner. I need you now.” She whispered. Her need for him had become a physical ache.
“Soph, we can wait.” Tanner looked up at her.
“You put this ring on my finger, but if you have changed your mind, tell me now.” Now that he had seen part of her, maybe he wouldn’t want her.
“I will never change my mind. I love you, Sophia.” She could see the promise in Tanner’s eyes as he spoke.
“Then make love to me.” Sophia whispered.
“I don’t want to hurt you, but I know it will.” Tanner said sadly.
“I trust you. I know it will hurt at first, but I can deal with that.” She said and kissed his lips softly.
Tanner took over the kiss. Her body melted for him. When he broke the kiss, she opened her eyes to look at him. His dark eyes sparkled as he smiled at her. He moved off her and quickly removed the rest of their clothes. He sat on his knees between her legs, and looked at her. She felt the blush on her face, but she couldn�
�t take her eyes off of him.
“You are so beautiful.” He said running a hand up the inside of her thigh.
“Tanner.” She whispered, wiggling to get closer. “I can’t wait. I need you.” She confessed.
“You have me, baby.” He whispered. “Forever.”
He leaned over her, and kissed her. She could feel the heat of his hard shaft as it bumped against her. She squirmed trying to get him where she needed it. He put his hands on her hips and held her still. She whimpered, then felt him push against her. Tanner pulled back from the kiss and looked down at her. He was barely inside her, and she needed more.
“This is my first time too, Sophia. I just wanted you to know.” He was telling the truth, and her heart stopped. She was going to be his first. “Love you.” He smiled.
“Love you too.” She felt tears slip down her cheeks.
Tanner kissed the tears away, then kissed her lips. She tasted her tears on his lips. He deepened the kiss and she moaned. He pushed all the way in and she squealed into the kiss. He held perfectly still. She turned her head trying to catch her breath.
“I’m so sorry, Soph. I never want to hurt you.” He said, laying his forehead against hers.
“I know. The pain will pass.” She needed a distraction.
She leaned up and kissed him. His kiss always distracted her, but he wasn’t taking over the kiss. She ran her hands up his sides as she kissed across his jaw. When she got to his ear, she sucked the lobe into her mouth. His body jerked, and they both moaned. The pain had melted away, and now she needed to feel him. She rocked her hips against him, but he held perfectly still.
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