by Beth Abbott
“You’ve obviously given this a lot of thought over the last decade.” She frowned. “If you had to do it all again, would you do the same thing?”
Now, wasn’t that the sixty-four million-dollar question!
“Would I still ask you for a divorce?” He queried and waited for Megan to nod. “I would, yes. But I wouldn’t lie to you about having an affair. That was the cruellest part, and the thing I regret most. I should have been honest with you about my demons. Hell, I should have been honest enough to admit we should never have gotten married. That was me not wanting anyone to steal you away from me while I was posted overseas.”
Megan didn’t seem to acknowledge his admission of jealousy.
“So, you didn’t think I would have coped if you’d come back injured?” She frowned again.
“That’s not what I’ve been saying.” Evan shook his head. “I know you would have coped, and you’d have been strong enough and loyal enough to have stuck by me through thick and thin. I just wasn’t prepared to watch you struggle and see that look of pity on your face. All of this was because of my inability to cope with it, and my ego, not wanting to be on the receiving end of your kindness, just because I went and persuaded you to marry me.”
“Other couples manage to get through this sort of thing.” She pointed out.
“They do when the wives are as wonderful and dedicated as you would have been.” He nodded. “But I wasn’t as courageous as those soldiers. I wasn’t as brave as them. And back then, while my thinking was confused, I guess I didn’t have enough confidence in us as a couple to take the chance.”
“So, instead, you hurt me in the worst way.” Megan murmured.
“I did.” He nodded. “To my everlasting shame, I hurt the only woman I’ve ever loved, and the only woman that ever truly loved me for myself.”
Megan’s eyes narrowed, and he could see his words had angered her.
“I’m sure you’ve had plenty of women consoling you in the last ten years.” She spat at him.
“I’m not going to lie and tell you I’ve been celibate.” Evan shrugged, almost wishing now that he had been. “But I’ve had no relationships since us. Occasional hook-ups and one-night stands. That’s it.”
Megan pulled a face.
“Far be it for me to judge you, but you sound as though you’ve been as much of a skank as Cerys.” She didn’t pull any punches.
“With my job it hasn’t been difficult to find willing partners, and a couple of times a year I’ve found the need to relieve the tension.” Evan admitted. “I can’t go back and change the facts, Meg, and I don’t expect you to respect me for it, but at least I’m trying to be honest with you.”
“Ok. Thank you for your honesty.” Megan sat forward and picked up her bag. “Was there anything else? Only I have some chores I’d like to do before I meet up with some friends this afternoon.”
“Was there anything else?” Evan echoed. “Well, I was hoping for something from you… like, maybe some confirmation that you didn’t hate me anymore?”
“I don’t hate you.” Megan nodded. “Are we done?”
Well! That was pretty damn cool and collected for someone who’d just had her reality spun upside down.
“I’ve never stopped loving you, Meg.”
Shit! Where the fuck did that come from?
“Oh.” Megan shrugged. “I stopped loving you ten years ago. Sorry, Evan, but I did try and explain that I wasn’t interested anymore. When you rip someone open the way you did to me a decade ago, things don’t heal back the way they were before. I don’t love anyone the way I loved you, because my heart doesn’t work that way since you crushed it. It’s certainly not going to miraculously heal itself just because you’ve chosen to unburden yourself. Despite what that song says, you can’t ‘unbreak my heart’.”
He watched her stand up and hook her bag over her shoulder.
“Thanks for the chat, Evan.” She smiled. “I won’t ask Robbie to have you replaced. I’m sure that now we’ve come to an understanding, we can keep a safe distance from each other.”
She didn’t wait for a response, just turned on her heel and made for the door.
“Come to an understanding?” Evan muttered to himself as he watched her step out onto the street. “We’re nowhere fucking close!”
Chapter 27 – Suzy
By Tuesday morning, Suzy was ready to swear, scream and even spit if it got that bitch Lacey out of her face.
If she heard the expression, ‘Oh, I found a better way to do that’ with references to changes made in her absence, just one more time, she really wouldn’t be responsible for her actions.
“Count to ten.” Lizzy grinned at her as she watched Lacey knock on Matt’s office door for the fifth time that morning. “It’s not worth challenging her, because you know she’ll have an excuse for going in there. She’s been like this since the day she started working here, and she’s not going to change just because you’re back.”
Suzy turned around and smiled at the younger woman. Lizzy had worked for Alpha for almost four years now, and they’d worked really well together before she’d taken maternity leave to have Rory.
“She’s supposed to be working for Claire now, which means that anything she needs to pass to Matt can go through me.” She rolled her eyes. “How many times do I need to repeat that to her before it sinks in, d’you think?”
Lizzy shrugged.
“Fifty-eight?” She guessed.
“Well, I must be up to twenty in the last two days, so only another thirty-eight to go.” She shook her head.
Yesterday had been bad enough with Lacey in and out of Matt’s office like a bloody yo-yo.
Today, she’d hoped that it would’ve tailed off a little, but it almost seemed to have gotten worse.
The sound of a door opening had Suzy glancing back up again, but this time it was Claire’s door, not Matt’s.
“Hey, honey.” Claire smiled at Suzy with real warmth. “Any idea where Lacey the ‘you-know-what’ is?”
Suzy smiled at Claire’s attempt to clean up their name for the pain in the ass.
“Apparently there was yet another matter she absolutely had to discuss personally with Matt.” Suzy nodded towards Matt’s office before rolling her eyes. “Lizzy and I were just commenting on it, and I reckon that’s about twenty times since yesterday morning. We think she might just need telling another thirty-eight times before it sinks in, but we may be overestimating her mental capacity there. It could be another hundred or more before she gets it through that thick skull of hers.”
Claire scowled at Matt’s door as though it had done something to personally piss her off.
“Why haven’t you had words with her yet?” Claire turned on Suzy. “She’s all over your husband like a rash!”
“My husband won’t hear a word against her, and especially not from me.” Suzy shrugged. “I have to tread very carefully if domestic bliss is to be maintained at all times.”
“Really?” Claire scoffed. “Well, luckily for me, I don’t have to live with your husband, in domestic bliss or otherwise.”
Suzy would have clapped her hands in glee, but Matt’s door opened at that moment, and Lacey exited, followed closely by Matt.
“Oh, there you are, Lacey.” Claire exclaimed loudly. “I’ve been looking for you for a while. You do have a very bad habit of disappearing from your desk when you’re supposed to be doing something for me. Have you finished that report on transport costs yet?”
Lacey reddened, but Suzy could see her lean closer to Matt, almost as though she were seeking his protection.
“No, sorry Claire, I haven’t quite finished it yet.” She said politely. “I remembered something Matt needed to know for an upcoming meeting, so I popped in to talk it over with him.”
“Why?” Claire asked, her head tilted to one side as though she was thoroughly confused.
“Why what?” Lacey frowned.
“Why did you need to speak to Mat
t?” Claire shrugged, as though the question was obvious. “Why aren’t you passing that information to Suzy, so that she can pass it to Matt? It’s her job.”
“Yes, but Suzy doesn’t know anything about these contracts.” Lacey smiled smugly.
“Of course, she doesn’t. She’s only been back in the office for two days.” Claire snorted. “And if you keep cutting her out and going straight to Matt, she’ll never learn anything about them, will she? Or is excluding her to make her appear less competent what you’ve been aiming for? Possibly hoping that you’ll get to swap jobs with her?”
“I… I never even thought of that.” Lacey argued.
“Lacey’s just trying to be helpful, Claire.” Matt protested. “Suzy is going to take a while to get back up to speed, but she’ll get there.”
“Of course, she will.” Claire nodded. “And she’ll get there a hell of a lot quicker if, in future, Lacey passes all the information that you need through Suzy. That way you’ll still get the info, Suzy’s time will be employed more efficiently as she learns the job again, and my PA can actually get on with the jobs she’s been asked to do, when she’s asked to do them, without my having to chase her down all the time. It’s all about having clear chains of command. If anything needs to be passed to you, it should come through Suzy, and likewise if anything needs to come to me, it should come via Lacey. For that to happen, Lacey needs to give Suzy the benefit of her knowledge, and she also has to be doing the job she’s being paid for. Don’t you agree, Matt?”
Suzy looked between Lacey and Matt and barely held back a grin.
Lacey looked furious, and Matt? Well, her poor husband just looked flummoxed.
“I guess so.” He finally nodded. “It does make sense that Suzy needs to know everything about the contracts I’m working on. That’ll leave Lacey with more time to focus on her job working with you.”
“Excellent.” Claire smiled warmly at everyone. “So, Lacey, can you let me have that report in my in-box in an hour? Bring a printed copy into my office with some coffee for both of us, and I can talk you through the job I have for you to do this afternoon.”
Lacey nodded lamely, and Suzy almost felt sorry for her. Almost…!
“I have to go out of the office for an hour.” Matt mumbled, clearly not sure who he had to inform about his movements.
Suzy put her hand up, trying to get his attention.
“I have your calendar open.” She smiled. “Why don’t you come over to my desk and you can tell me what plans you have, hmm?”
Matt glanced nervously around, possibly waiting for someone to protest, but finally shrugged and followed her to her little cubicle.
As she flicked her screen onto his calendar, he pulled up another chair.
“It’s a bit pokey out here, isn’t it?” He murmured. “Isn’t there a better space you can have?”
“Yes, there is.” She smiled up at him and pointed to his office. “I could be in there with you, but it’s unlikely we’d get much work done.”
Matt’s expression finally softened.
“That doesn’t sound like a half-bad idea at the moment.” He smiled at her. “In fact, I can hardly think of anything I’d like better right now.”
“You and me, both.” She smiled. “But sadly, that idea is gonna have to be put on hold. You have a meeting shortly, right?”
“Shit! Yeah, I do.” Matt scowled at his calendar. “Robbie’s agent wants to meet me at the club. He’s signed him up for a series of charity events in the summer, attending football academies all over the country. He’ll need people with him, but, of course, I expect I’ll have handed Logan and Evan back to the Guardians by then.”
“What time do you leave for your meeting?” Suzy asked, knowing he liked to be prepared. “I can get hold of Tony and find out who Alpha will have available in the summer. What dates were they thinking about?”
“June through to August, I suppose, to be on the safe side.” Matt shrugged. “He finishes the season early May, and the first of next season’s matches are about mid-August.”
“He has to be back in Birmingham for training to start in July, but there’s no reason he can’t start the tour in Scotland where the school year finishes earlier.” Suzy suggested. “Then if he travels to the north-east, the south, Wales, and then the north west and Yorkshire, he’ll have done almost a full spiral before ending up back in the Midlands.”
“Since when did you get so good at geography?” Matt grinned.
“Since my husband joined the army and left me to find my way around with a baby tucked under my arm.” She nudged him playfully. “New house, new area, new baby, and a husband, two-thousand miles away. Thank God for Ellen and the AA map book. If it wasn’t for those two, I’d still be trying to find my way to mother and toddler classes with Charlie.”
“I think by now you’d have turned back.” He laughed. “He’s fifteen already. A little bit too old to be at a toddler class.”
“Maybe so.” Suzy grinned. “So, do you want me to speak to Tony and see who they can give you? Do you need two or four people?”
“Provisionally four, I think, although I may still use a few more from the Birmingham office.” Matt rubbed his chin. “Robbie is one hell of a popular kid, and he’s gonna be swamped wherever he goes. We’re gonna need to keep him safe from the kids, and the kids safe from being crushed. It’s gonna get complicated.”
“How about if I ask Tony if a couple of the women are free?” Suzy suggested. “They’re every bit as competent from a security angle, but considering we’re mostly dealing with kids, if two of the six protection officers are women, it won’t seem like we’re going in mob-handed. It will seem a little more child friendly, even if it really isn’t.”
Matt stared at her with his mouth open.
“You know, I think my idea of getting you back to work was the best one I’ve had all year.” He winked at her. “If I’d remembered how fucking awesome you are, I’d have brought you back six months ago.”
“Your idea was it?” Suzy scowled at him. “I think it’s time you went to your meeting. I might just decide to sic Claire on you for claiming credit for me being here.”
“Oh God!” Matt faked horror. “Anything but that!”
“Idiot!” Suzy grinned. “Do you know what time you’ll be back? Before or after home-time?”
“Before, I sincerely hope.” Matt snorted. “There’s only so many times I can stand going over the same plans, time and time again. How Robbie stays awake around his agent is beyond me. Why?”
“We haven’t had Claire around to dinner since she’s been in town.” Suzy shrugged. “She’s been staying with her grandson, and cooking for him as well, I wouldn’t be surprised. Anyway, he’s going out with his friends tonight, so she’ll be on her own. What do you think?”
“I think that sounds awesome.” Matt smiled. “Did you want to eat out or cook at home?”
“I put a beef casserole in the slow cooker before we left this morning, and there are a bunch of different desserts in the freezer.” Suzy shrugged. “There’s plenty of wine in the rack, and you got that good Malt whisky for Christmas. I’m sure she’d join you in a dram or two.”
“My God! My wife… office genius, great sense of direction, and a domestic goddess, all rolled into one beautiful, sexy spitfire!” Matt leaned forward and gave her a quick kiss. “How did I get so lucky?”
“It had nothing to do with luck, sweetheart.” Suzy leaned forward to whisper in his ear. “You were just freakily good in bed! I couldn’t resist you.”
“Oh, yeah!” He grinned. “I forgot about that.”
Suzy heard Lacey stomping around in her cubicle and rolled her eyes.
“You’d better get off to your meeting. I’ll email you after I’ve spoken to Tony.” She whispered, and without argument Matt stood up to leave.
“See you ladies later.” He smiled and backed out, making a beeline for the exit.
Lacey watched him go and then turned
to Suzy with a sneer.
“Been whispering poison in his ear again, have you?” She hissed. “Spreading malicious lies about me?”
“Why would I do that?” Suzy smiled. “What could I have possibly said about you, I wonder, that would make you so paranoid?”
“I know that you don’t like how close Matt and I are.” Lacey pointed out. “You’d rather he got rid of me.”
“What I don’t like, Lacey, is how close you think you are with my husband, and how you keep manufacturing excuses to keep him in work and away from his family.” Suzy shrugged. “His children need their father, and only a spiteful shrew would try and keep them apart. So, for that reason alone, I admit that I’ve found the thought of you being fired a delightful prospect.”
Lacey growled in satisfaction, as though she’d been proven right.
“But if I’d really wanted you gone, and I’d given Matt any sort of ultimatum, do you actually think you’d still be standing here?” Suzy shrugged. “All that’s really happened is that I’ve returned from maternity leave to reclaim my job, and you’ve been given an alternative role. It’s up to you to make a good impression in your new job, and if you do, you can be sure I won’t stand in your way. You could have a good career here at Alpha Company, but that all depends on your attitude and whether you think you’re going to sleep your way to the top. I probably should point out that none of the Alpha Company wives have snagged their husbands by stealing them from other women. As women we have more integrity, and our men are loyal and true to their very core. They don’t cheat.”
“I am not interested in Matt that way.” Lacey huffed. “We’re work colleagues.”
“Not true. He’s the boss and you’re one of the company’s employees.” Claire’s voice behind Lacey made the woman jump. “Talking of which, how about you actually do some work today, hmm?”
Lacey blushed to her dirty blonde roots.
“Of course.” She murmured, taking a seat and opening up her computer screen.