Ruby slowly walked away, her mind reeling with Victoria’s words and heated conviction. She was absolutely right. The decision to leave her mother had no bearing on her feelings for Victoria, or the speculation and opinions of others. It had to be grounded in saving Tommy, saving what positive hope he and Ruby had left, before all was destroyed completely.
They had to leave. There was no other choice.
‘Ruby?’
She squeezed her stinging eyes closed as customers hurried around her, the noise suddenly unbearable. Taking a strengthening breath, Ruby turned and forced a smile. ‘Miss Pennington. How can I help you?’
‘I’ve just been struck with a fabulous idea for the wedding window.’ Excitement gleamed in Elizabeth Pennington’s dark green eyes. ‘Esther thinks that we could… Ruby? What is it?’
Ruby’s cheeks warmed as a lone tear slipped over her cheek. Why did I have to cry now? Right here. Right in front of Elizabeth. An employer who had the keenest eye and the most attuned intuition of any woman Ruby had ever met.
‘I…’ She swiped at the tear. ‘It’s nothing. We’ll go to the department now, shall we?’ Ruby asked, grateful that Tommy was staying at a friend’s house tonight, or else nothing would have delayed her in getting home to him.
‘No, I think my ideas can wait.’ Elizabeth’s intense gaze settled on Ruby as she took her elbow and steered her towards a quieter spot by the jewellery counter. ‘Please, Ruby. You must tell me what it is bothering you. I don’t like to see you this way. I don’t like to see any of my staff this way.’
‘I’d really rather not speak about it.’ Ruby glanced around her, inwardly cursing as she caught Hazel’s eye. The vile woman sauntered past and wiggled her fingers in a semblance of a wave. Ruby shot her a glare before facing Elizabeth. ‘I am quite all right.’
‘Are you sure? We could go to my office to talk, if you’d like.’
‘I’m quite sure. Thank you.’
An uneasy atmosphere descended as Ruby fought to not fidget under Elizabeth’s scrutiny. At last, Elizabeth raised her hand in surrender. ‘All right, if that’s what you want. Let’s walk together and I’ll just give you a brief overview of what I have in mind. We can talk more tomorrow.’
They walked through the atrium and as she passed Accessories. Ruby looked at Victoria who was busy pouring over a ledger, her shoulders high and her brow furrowed. Fear clenched Ruby’s stomach. Had she lost their cherished friendship as well as an opportunity for escape?
I am such a fool.
‘If another member of staff is upsetting you, Ruby, you must tell me.’
Ruby turned. Elizabeth watched Victoria through narrowed eyes, her back rigid.
‘I will not stand for tension between my staff. Pennington’s prides itself on care for its customers and its workers. If you’re unhappy, I want to know. You are becoming a valuable part of the design team. I wouldn’t want to lose you.’
‘Oh, you won’t lose me, Miss Pennington. You can be assured of that.’
They walked on and Ruby straightened her spine.
And neither would she lose Victoria.
To hell with Hazel or anyone else who wanted to talk about them. Tomorrow she would tell Victoria that she and Tommy would like to gratefully accept her offer for them to move in with her.
Twenty-Six
Amelia inhaled a strengthening breath, but it did nothing to soothe her nerves. She stared into Samuel’s brilliant blue eyes, so bright in the semi-darkness, with no idea what she was doing, or thinking, by inviting him to talk with her this way. She could have spoken to him in a more public space, yet she sensed his reluctance to veer from the professional whenever there were other passengers present.
Yet, she had an explicable and urgent desire to know him better; to learn of the dreams that lay in his heart.
His gaze grew intense on hers and her heart beat a little faster as something pulled low in her abdomen, shocking and arousing. A mysterious sensation she had heard much talk of, but never experienced. Was this intoxicating connection between a man and a woman a phenomenon? Or a normality? She had no idea.
‘Why am I here, Amelia?’ He didn’t move, just continued to look at her, his gaze soft as it travelled over her face. ‘What do you want me to do?’
She stilled. ‘To do?’
‘There’s usually always something passengers need me to do. This… my being here like this… what do you need?’
She swallowed. What did she need? She had no idea. All she knew was she had to do all she could to persuade him that he must seize the chance of a new life in America. To reach for success, liberty… love. How could she explain to him that knowing he was in a position of imminent freedom, her own ambitions would be bolstered? If Samuel was to make a life far, far away, grabbing his future with both hands, who was to say the same wouldn’t be true for her one day?
That she might one day have the blessed promise of forgetting what had happened to her and start again.
A man’s loud laughter boomed from further along the corridor and Amelia jumped, her eyes wide as she spotted Mr Carlton and Mr Weir.
She snapped her gaze to Samuel’s and gripped his arm. ‘Quickly.’
He glanced over his shoulder and spotted Weir. ‘Damnation.’
Amelia pulled him along the corridor until they came to a deserted staircase. She hesitated, her nerves jumping as she fought back her demons with everything she had. How was she to move forward, to bolster Samuel’s courage, when she showed none of her own?
‘In here,’ she whispered, pulling him gently beneath the staircase until their backs were against the wall, their presence concealed in the shadows. ‘No one will see us here.’
She stepped closer to him until only the smallest space separated them, praying her nervousness didn’t show through her enforced bravado. Purposefully, she met his impenetrable gaze. ‘I want you to stay in America. Stay there and make a life for yourself. Let me live vicariously through you. Let me know what it is to not have to worry about your reputation, your past, convention and propriety. America is a new world. A place anyone can make their fortune. You must go. For me. Please.’
Confusion shadowed his eyes. ‘What are you talking about?’
She sought the right words, the right conviction to make him understand how he had ignited a wish in her for more, just by speaking about his possible escape. ‘Don’t you see?’ She shook her head. ‘Opportunities like this don’t happen for people like us.’
‘Like us? What do you mean us?’
Heat warmed her cheeks that he might think she in any way meant to insult him. She clutched his hand. ‘People who work hard every day, Samuel. People who are the backbone of England. This is your chance to be more than that. To be a risk-taker, a pioneer, a person in charge of his own destiny.’
He slowly pulled his hand from hers and stepped back, pushing the fallen hair from his brow, his eyes boring into hers. ‘And if all that is possible for me, why is it not for you, too? What is there to keep you in Bath? Are your commitments holding you captive any more than mine?’
Words battled on her tongue. Didn’t he realise how free he could be? How the responsibilities holding him back could be assuaged with regular money wired home, telegrams and letters. For her, everything was different. Everything was tainted in violence. Rape. Reputation. She had to stay on a regulated path. Keep her head down, work hard, pay her rent and hopefully retain some friends along the way.
This entire world was a man’s, and Samuel was entirely male without need for proof or struggle. He was rapidly becoming the most different of men as any she had ever met. Kind, thoughtful, pensive and passionate. A man who articulated his feelings, found amusement amid responsibility. A man who made her smile, stand taller and made her dare to dream that anything was possible.
If that wasn’t the measure of a true man, she might as well give up hope of ever finding one. Finding a man with whom to share her life had not occurred to her since the attack. N
ow Samuel had evoked all sorts of emotions in her. Emotions that were terrifying. Yet, still, she wanted so much for him.
She closed her eyes. ‘It’s not the same for me.’
A heavy, ensuing silence lingered, the pressure of sharing more with him growing with each passing second. But she wouldn’t. Couldn’t. How could she bear to see the disgust in his eyes if he should learn of her being so soiled, so violated?
He gently touched his finger to her chin, and her eyes popped open.
Yet, he didn’t step back or recoil as though he’d overstepped an invisible mark. Instead, he placed his thumb beneath her chin, holding her softly, yet firmly, so that he might look deep into her eyes.
Did he see her pain? Her shame?
‘Samuel…’ Heat infused her body from head to toe. She could not think. She could not breathe. ‘You must understand.’
‘What must I understand?’
Tears pricked her eyes and she blinked, sending a single tear slipping over her cheek. ‘I am not free like you. I’m a woman. We don’t have the same liberties as men.’
‘Why don’t you? Am I really to believe you care what others might think?’ His thumb traced the tear as it travelled to her jaw. ‘I know you don’t have a family as I do, but you love your occupation. Still, I know there is more to you than Pennington’s. Don’t you, too, want to discover what else is possible?’
Hope sparked inside her and a little of the tension left her shoulders. ‘So, you do want all the things I spoke of? Liberty? Success?’
‘Of course, but it doesn’t mean I can act on my wishes. I’ve already explained what awaits me back home. I’m not the sort of man who turns his back on his family or his friends.’
He had no need to tell her such a thing, she instinctively knew how reliable he was, how steadfast. ‘I see.’
‘Do you? Because… I have no idea why, but it’s important to me that you understand the sort of man I am, Amelia. That you know you can trust me, that I like you.’
She couldn’t stem her smile. ‘I like you, too.’
Their eyes locked, his filled with relief and then something else. Longing.
‘Might I… kiss you?’
Fear started a steady thrum deep in her chest and her mouth drained dry. ‘What?’
He smiled softly, his eyes gentle. ‘Can I kiss you?’
Her heart picked up speed even as she nodded, even as she slowly licked her lips. An overwhelming, uplifting anticipation passed through every nerve in her body. How was he to know she had never willingly let anyone kiss her before? That nobody had ever asked her permission before taking from her what he wanted?
‘Yes.’ She nodded. ‘You can.’
Desire mixed with admiration in his eyes, darkening them to a midnight blue that was completely and utterly mesmerising. Slowly, he inched forwards and Amelia’s eyelids drifted closed, his breath a soft whisper against her mouth.
His lips were gentle at first, his hand moving from her face to lay softly on her cheek. An alien stirring twisted deliciously low in her stomach and she inched closer, pressing her mouth just a little more firmly to his. She wanted him to know, to feel, that she wanted this. Wanted to be in his arms, in his protection.
He eased back and whispered, ‘Amelia.’
Indescribable power rippled through her body making her reach for him. She gripped his waist and pulled him back to her. This time, it was her leading the connection, the intimacy.
She pressed her mouth to his, a soft whimper escaping her as she kissed him, relishing in the new, unexpected sensations that overtook her every emotion.
Then the moment was cruelly sliced by a sudden shuddering vibrating through Amelia’s body and she pulled back, her gaze moving past the staircase. ‘What was that?’
Twenty-Seven
At first, Samuel had thought he was trembling rather than the momentary and irregular movement of the ship, but Amelia had clearly felt something, too.
His trained ear picked up an interference in the usual pattern of the engines. ‘Maybe it was—’
The vibrations escalated, followed by urgent chatter farther along the corridor.
‘Something’s happening.’ He reluctantly released Amelia and stepped out from beneath the staircase. When they had sought privacy, only two or three couples had been in the area, but now a number of people milled about, confusion etched on their faces as they garbled questions to whomever was closest.
Amelia came up behind him. ‘What is it?’
An older gentleman turned, appraised Samuel’s uniform and came forward. ‘You there. What’s happening? I heard a strange noise.’
The engines stopped.
What in God’s name was happening for them to halt? Dread knotted Samuel’s stomach. Something must be seriously wrong for the Captain to shut down the engines. Tension stiffened his shoulders as a several stewards hurried along the corridor carrying lifejackets and shoving them, one by one, to the nearest person, their strides long and their expression serious. ‘Put these on, please and make your way to the Boat Deck. Quick as you can, please.’
Samuel faced the gentleman. ‘Can I suggest you return to your room, sir? I will speak to the stewards and find out what’s going on.’
‘I will do no such thing. I felt something hit the ship, I’m sure.’
‘Samuel?’ Amelia gripped his forearm. ‘Is it bad?’
Whatever its foundation, every instinct in his body told him that whatever had caused the ship to list was serious. The last thing he wanted was to trigger unnecessary alarm. He fought to keep the concern from his face. ‘I’m sure everything is fine.’
‘Ladies and gentlemen.’ A steward stopped in front of the group. ‘Please immediately return to your rooms and dress warmly before donning your lifejackets. This is just a precaution. The ship has hit an iceberg, but it’s nothing to worry about. The Captain has insisted passenger safety is a priority. Please make your way calmly to your rooms.’
He hurried away along the corridor, towards the second-class cabins. ‘Make haste to the Boat Deck. Dress warmly. Lifejackets to be worn.’
The others scattered, making for their cabins and Samuel turned to Amelia. ‘Do as he says. I have to get to the control room and do what I can to help.’
‘But—’
‘Please. Do as I ask. Find Weir. Everything will be all right. I’ll come and find you as soon as I can.’ Without thinking, or concern for who might see them, Samuel pressed a kiss to her lips. ‘Promise me you’ll do as I say.’
‘I will, but what about you?’
‘I’ll be fine. See you soon.’
Samuel strode away from her, his heart beating fast. Why in God’s name had stewards been sent armed with lifejackets moments after the collision if it wasn’t immediately considered serious? Why the urgency and why the grave expressions of every member of staff he passed?
‘Sam! Sam!’ Archie grabbed hold of Samuel’s arm. ‘Where the hell have you been? I went to your cabin. We’ve been hit bad.’ He lowered his voice. ‘We’ll have to do what we can, but I swear to you, she’s going down.’
‘What the hell are you talking about? This ship is the most advanced the world has ever seen. It would take more than a brush with an iceberg to send her down.’
‘It wasn’t a brush.’
‘What?’
‘She hit and scraped along the side. Water is pouring into six of the forward watertight compartments. Andrews told the Captain we have less than two hours before she sinks. Just hurry, for God’s sake. Get your lifejacket on and meet me on the Boat Deck, we’ve been ordered to get as many women and children as we can into the lifeboats.’
Without bothering to get his lifejacket, Samuel bounded after Archie as they reassured and directed the deluge of passengers who had been roused from their beds. The noise was deafening as they climbed towards the Boat Deck.
When Samuel and Archie finally emerged onto the deck, the sights and cacophony of the passengers’ chatter and shouti
ng, steam and creaking metal, drew them into a moment of paralysed shock. Side by side, he and Archie stared around them, the freezing air cutting through Samuel’s uniform and stinging his cheeks. A few women milled around, their arms tightly folded over their thin evening gowns, their gentlemen companions, arms slung around their wives’ shoulders, dressed in black suits and crisp white shirts.
There seemed to be more first-class passengers already on deck than any other. Had they been warned first? Or had the iceberg hit that area of the ship more directly? He and Amelia had only felt a tremor beneath the staircase.
The ship sat tilted in the water, one of its violated funnels releasing steam on a constant, ear-splitting scream. Passengers moved back and forth along the deck, men holding children, women cradling babies, the elderly clinging to one another.
Some faces showed confusion and panic. Whereas others seemed utterly convinced there wasn’t anything to worry about. Samuel had no doubt that nonchalance would soon change.
Briefly closing his eyes, he tried to get a hold on the rapid beat of his heart. The terrifying knowledge that whatever was happening would not be brought under control any time soon pulsed like a drumbeat in his head. Full out panic would begin soon enough. The shudder held been felt less than fifteen minutes ago and already the irregular angling of the ship was heart-stoppingly obvious.
They were going down.
‘Holy Christ.’ The blaspheme whispered from between Samuel’s lips. ‘What the hell do we do for these people, Archie?’
Now that the engines had stopped, the steam coming from all eight exhausts made it damn near impossible to think straight, let alone be heard.
His friend pulled him into a tight embrace and yelled gruffly into Samuel’s ear. ‘We do what we can. Take care, Sam.’
Their eyes locked and Samuel tried to stem the gnawing dread that unfurled inside him. ‘I’ll see you soon.’
Archie nodded and took off.
Sam watched him until he was swallowed up by the crowds and then raced towards the lifeboats on the port side. There were fewer people this side and things appeared calmer. Samuel looked around, assessing where he could be of the most assistance, his mind constantly filled with Amelia and how she fared. He prayed she’d appear on the port side soon. He would make damn sure he handed her into one of the lifeboats himself.
A Shop Girl at Sea Page 13